Yvonne Ortega has rested in Christ to overcome the challenges and heartaches in her life, and she is truly a beautiful soul. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Yvonne shares one princple that can help us exchange our shattered dreams for the promises of God and watch Him heal the broken places in our lives.
Yvonne writes, "After the legal separation I told our son, 'You paid the price for my mistake. I’m the adult and your mother. As a parent, I should have protected you and never have allowed you to go through all that you did. I was wrong to pretend everything was okay.'”
I (Dawn) believe this kind of admission takes courage, but it is rooted in love for God and others. Yvonne "owned up" to her mistake in a God-honoring way.
She continues . . .
Perhaps you wonder how I managed to admit my mistakes to my son.
Here are four tips I learned about the admission of big mistakes.
1. I realized the admission of mistakes requires PREPARATION.
My preparation included journaling, prayer, Bible study, individual counseling, and my recovery group.
I leaned on the promises of three Bible verses and reviewed them frequently. One verse was 1 John 1:9:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (NIV).
What will you do to prepare?
2. I had to admit my mistakes WITHOUT making EXCUSES for them.
That type of admission requires honesty and humility. I had to take responsibility for my mistakes without any excuses, justification, defensiveness or blame. That way my child could believe I was sorry and trust me to protect him.
Why is it hard for you to admit your mistakes without making excuses for them? If the person you hurt has passed away, you can write a letter of admission and domeapologize. Then read it to a friend, mentor, or counselor.
Take ownership of your mistakes so they lose their power over you.
3. My admission of mistakes could either be ACCEPTED or REJECTED.
The longer I stayed in a domestic violence environment, the worse it became for my son. I had failed him. He suffered from the lack of peace and safety in the home. He could either accept or reject my admission of wrongdoing and my apology.
My heavenly Father gave me the courage to admit my mistakes by reminding me of Proverbs 28:13:
“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy" (NIV).
Your admission of mistakes may have nothing to do with domestic violence or hurting your child. It may involve:
- a strained relationship with a coworker,
- conflict with your in-laws,
- or a misunderstanding with a partner in ministry.
Whether your admission is accepted or rejected, the Lord will keep His Word.
4. I needed to make AMENDS to the best of my ability.
Life wasn’t perfect after my admission. However, it improved, little-by-little, as I worked to be the adult and parent my child needed and deserved.
Years later, he called and said, “You were a good mom.”
I cried for joy when I heard those words. The amends paid off.
I did my part, and God did His. I received the mercy the Lord promised in Proverbs 28:13.
When will you make amends? It’s worth the effort.
Yvonne Ortega is a licensed professional counselor, a bilingual professional speaker, and the author of Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help
You Move Forward, and Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer. She has not only survived but also thrived after domestic violence, breast cancer and the loss of her only child. With honesty and humor, Yvonne uses personal examples and the truths of the Bible to help women move from broken to beautiful. Visit Yvonne’s website for more information.
Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.