Debbie W. Wilson wisely counsels women on the kinds of attitudes that please the Lord. In this Holiday UPGRADE, she encourages us to forget about people-pleasing and focus on 
pleasing the Lord.
Debbie asks, "Has trying to please your family and friends drained the joy from your holidays?"
I (Dawn) am sure many of us feel that "drain" from time to time during the Thanksgiving-Christmas holidays. It's not just joy. It's peace too! And self-control. And a lot of other godly attitudes!
Debbie continues …
One year, I mentioned how much our son enjoyed going to a relative’s house for special occasions.
“He probably wouldn’t feel that way if you did more,” my Thanksgiving guest replied.
Ouch.
Jesus’ friends Martha and Mary can teach us a lot about the pitfall of trying to please everyone.
Let's visit the sisters before we lose our peace and perspective this season.
Martha Stewart could have been named after the older sister. Martha’s table and foods delighted all the senses, and her culture applauded her.
As is often the case with siblings, Mary was her polar opposite.
Who cared what they ate or when? She was consumed with Jesus. Mary’s choice to learn from the Rabbi flew in the face of her culture and her sister’s expectations.
When we meet the sisters, Martha has opened her home to Jesus and His disciples. While she busily prepared a feast for them, Mary listened to Jesus.
When the banging of pots didn’t grab Mary’s attention, Martha stormed into the middle of the group and turned on Jesus.
“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:40 NIV).
Mary froze. This probably wasn’t the first time her sister had publicly corrected her. Dare she look at Jesus? Her cheeks burned, anticipating His reproach.
Jesus shocked the whole group. Instead of chastising Mary, He corrected Martha and commended Mary.
“My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:42-42 NLT).
He didn’t reprimand Martha for being busy, but for being worried and upset.
Jesus simplified her focus.
Have you ever let details and pressures rob you of the best?
It is easy to be distracted by our to-do lists and miss the reason why we are doing.
LESSONS from MARTHA
- A critical spirit indicates a wrong focus. Need I say more?
- Martha took her complaint to the right person. Jesus will tell us the truth. The truth set Martha free. He’ll free us from our bad attitudes and wrong emphases too.
- We can change. The next time Martha prepared a feast for Jesus, she hummed while she worked (read between the lines, John 12:2-7)! A single focus lightens our work.
Jesus loved Mary and Martha. And both of them blessed Him when they served Him with uncluttered hearts.
But Mary ministered to His soul.
At the gathering the week before His death, Mary anointed His feet with a pint of expensive nard. The fragrance filled the air and saturated His skin and the tips of His clothes. Someone suggested the fragrance lingered through His final week—even to the cross.
Of all of Jesus’ friends and followers, only Mary understood His mission. She believed He was headed to the cross and wanted the fragrance of her love to be with Him in what lay ahead.
And some of His followers criticized her.
LESSONS from MARY
- We have to please only One. Spending time with Him reminds us of what matters most.
- Choices that delight Jesus may offend some of His followers. On different occasions, Mary's sister and Jesus' disciples found fault with her.
- Staying tuned into Jesus nurtures us, ministers to others, and blesses Him! Jesus promised that Mary’s act would be remembered always (Mark 14:9).
As we celebrate Thanksgiving and enter the Christmas season, let's keep our focus.
A year from now, no one will remember the details of our holidays, but they will remember our spirits and love.
What helps you stay grounded in this busy season?
Debbie W. Wilson—drawing from her personal walk with Christ, twenty-four years as a Christian counselor, and decades as a Bible teacher—speaks 
and writes to help others discover relevant faith. She is the author of Little Women, Big God and Give Yourself a Break. Share her journey to refreshing faith at her blog.
Note: The Christmas to-do List in the graphic is a printable available from babyhintsandtips.com.