Tackling Toxic Masculinity

Morgan Farr is a gifted mom with a heart for biblical womanhood and manhood. There's a lot of testosterone in her home, but the Lord recently blessed her with a charming little girl. In this insightful and timely Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she tackles toxic masculinity.

"Masculinity is under attack in the United States," Morgan says, "even within the church."

Yes. I (Dawn) have watched this attack, usually coming from those pushing a radical feminist agenda. I'm glad to see Christians addressing this issue from a biblical perspective.

Morgan continues . . .

Don’t believe me? Twitter was full of #NotAnotherMonster and #YesAllMen tweets in recent months that can give you an idea of just how poorly masculinity is viewed here in the United States.

As the mother of two young boys, the cultural climate towards masculinity is terrifying and it isn’t isolated to the secular world.

Look around your church on Sunday morning. I would be willing to bet that the congregation is made up of at least 65% females. Men are leaving the church enmasse due to the fact that we, as Christians, are trying to whitewash over gender differences in light of societal pressure.

This needs to stop. Now.

The Christian church needs to remember that God created masculinity, and it is good! It is inherently different from femininity, on purpose.

When my boys—three years old and two years old—play with my husband, it is distinctly different from when they play with me.

My boys might ask me to help them build a tower, read a book or to color. They ask my husband to "get the bad guys," play monster chase, and to “do work.” Even as preschoolers the boys know that mommy and daddy are different.

How is is then that as we get older we suddenly decide men and women should be the same? In my opinion, it comes down to the fact that it is easier to force men to become effeminate than it is to work with and celebrate the masculine spirit.

So, how do we fight toxic masculinity?

How do we encourage our boys to become strong men of God?

1. Tackle the Issue.

Do not misunderstand me. Toxic masculinity is real, but not in the way you might think. There isn’t some super-secret conspiracy passed down through generations to teach boys and men to dehumanize or devalue women.

As Christians, we know that these instances are a reaction to humankind's fall into sin from Genesis 3.

Without Jesus Christ, humans misuse masculinity—and femininity too—for their own selfish pleasures and desires.

Today’s “man” is a passive, unkempt, weak imitation of what God means for manhood to truly be.

For example, how many grown men do you know who spend HOURS each week on video games? These games call to men because they tap into the natural, God-given desire men have to explore, conquer and defend.

It isn’t just video games either. You can see this God-given desire corrupted in sports (both in playing and as a spectator), gambling and pornography. These men are searching for God and trying to fulfill a desire He gave them with all the wrong things.

In 1 Corinthians 13:11, Paul says,

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”

Society twists and bends what it means to be a man, allowing Satan to sneak in and pull boys and men from the Christian fight with nothing more than “hobbies.”  

2. Tame Sin, Not Masculine Spirit.

Realize that we, as humans, are born sinful and broken. In light of that fact, we cannot be surprised when men and women fall prey to sin and act in evil ways.

The way we can fight toxic masculinity is by teaching and instructing our boys in the ways of the one perfect man, Jesus Christ.

1 Timothy 6:11 says, “But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness.”

As the body of Christ, we have to stop trying to tame the God-given masculine spirit. All we are doing is creating weak boys with lackluster faith who end up pretending to be real men rather than fully growing into men of God.

3. Train for Battle.

Being ready to help your son, grandson or nephew grow into manhood means:

• being ready to talk about what biblical manhood is and why it matters;
• being on your knees daily for their eyes, hearts and minds; and
• being open with our boys about the issues that they will face.

Is it messy? Absolutely.

Christians need to be ready to address why our son does not watch Game of Thrones even though all of his friends do.

We need to be able to stand firm in our conviction to not spend money on just anything, but rather to be a good steward of what God has given to us.

We need to take our sons to nursing homes, homeless shelters and nurseries so they can practice serving the least of these, as Christ did.

All of these things will make them different, and they will stand out against the grey backdrop of adolescents who are busy trying to find themselves.

Instead, our boys will be found in Jesus Christ and His glory for eternity.  

How can you encourage the boys and men in your life toward Godly manhood?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed in San Diego, California, with her wonderful husband Brian and their children. Morgan is a homemaker who dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring and physical training. Morgan writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog The Forgiven Former Feminist. You can find her training programs, nutritional information and meal plans on her blog, Farr Functional Fitness.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Gerald Friedrich at Pixabay.