Kolleen Lucariello—winsome and wise—speaks truth into women's lives while challenging them to live a joy-filled life. In this Accountability UPGRADE, she encourages us to accept responsibility and move closer to our identity in the Lord.
Kolleen says, “I realized the COVID-19 crisis was beginning to cause a Kolleen crisis when I detected fear and frustration were expanding through loneliness, boredom and inactivity.”
I (Dawn) have had a few "Dawn crises" over my lifetime, and they usually came when I tried to face tough things alone or make excuses for my failures. Not a good idea, as Kolleen explains.
Kolleen continues . . .
When the quarantine took over daily life, I was invited to join a ZOOM exercise class led by my friend Chrissy’s daughter. Having never experienced a class like this one, and craving interaction with others, I decided to give it a try.
The first class was …well… it wasn’t exactly an attractive display of technique, as I became painfully aware of my lack of ability.
Truth-be-told, I was a bit intimidated by those in her class who were far more advanced than I. When Chrissy told me she participates with her camera “off,” a great sense of relief washed over me.
When I signed in to the next class, before one stretch began, I turned the camera to “off” and felt the freedom to do my thing.
After a few weeks of participation, I began to recognize a poor pattern had developed in my effort within the class.
While I could see Rachel, the instructor, she could not see me.
I was hidden behind my photo on her screen rather than a live-video feed. There were moments when, while she was encouraging her class to “hold it for just four more counts,” I was allowing excuses to fill my mind for why I was unable to do what she was asking.
I can tell you, every excuse was valid:
- My hands and wrists hurt immensely.
- I am not as fit as I used to be, nor am I as strong as I once was.
- My legs shake.
- My core is weak.
- When she asks me to pull my belly button in, it’s nearly impossible for me to convince my rebellious belly button to surrender itself to my effort.
- The hour I spend in class is difficult.
- It is uncomfortable.
- It also requires effort and a willingness to push through all discomfort. Some days I don’t.
During one particularly arduous class, I laid on the floor for a good portion of the leg workout listening to my body expound on the reasons for its protests. The excuses for its inability to commit to the workout seemed reasonable.
Finally, the discomfort within my body held a greater sway over any disappointment I would feel by quitting.
With my camera off, no one could see what I was—or was not—doing.
As I lay on the floor, listening rather than doing, I became aware of how susceptible we become to old habits and mindsets when accountability is lacking.
Without the accountability of Rachel being able to see me, it became quite easy for me to give a less-than-my-best-effort. She encourages the class to “get lower” or “push through the discomfort,” confirming to us that she understands our legs are shaking and the work is hard, but she’s pushing us to not give up because she recognizes growth, strength and change come through persistent effort.
With accountability defined by Merriam-Webster as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions,” it seems impossible to deny accountability, when used correctly, is a gift to us—prompting change and growth. After all, don’t we have an obligation to accept responsibility for our own actions?
Accountability brings upgrade when we find ourselves willing to allow a trusted friend or mentor to help us see areas in our life where we’ve permitted excuses and blame to keep us from accepting responsibility.
How Does Accountability Help Us?
1. Our faith takes on a new form of growth when we become accountable to one another.
This means we allow someone to see what is behind the camera.
While it is tempting to share only the highlight reel of our lives rather than expose our difficulties, this creates an illusion that “all is well” when in reality, it might not be.
2. Our faith is strengthened when we acknowledge our need to pull from the wisdom God has put within others.
Solomon wrote,
“Though good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out” (Proverbs 20:5 NLT).
When you perceive the wisdom of God in someone—draw it out!
Listen when they say, “I understand your world is shaking right now” or “I know this hard, but you can do it!”
3. Accountability stands guard against the bad habits that continue to haunt us and then shame us, but it requires courage.
Accepting responsibility truly is a gift that moves us closer to our true identity in Christ.
Proverbs 19:20 says,
“Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life” (NLT).
It’s time for me to turn the camera on! This will allow Rachel to see where I am weak and struggling—right now—but will also allow her to point out where she sees strength and growth.
What about you? Is your camera set to off? Perhaps you’d find more freedom if it was on.
Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of the devotional book, The ABC's of Who God Says I
Am; and as a speaker, she speaks into women's lives "one letter at a time." Kolleen and her high 
school sweetheart, Pat, reside in Central New York. She's a mother of three married children and Mimi to six incredible grandkids. For more information about Kolleen, visit her website.
Graphic adapted, courtesy of StockSnap at Pixabay.