This is something that I shared on Facebook on December 17th. I want to share it here as well—and expand on it a bit—because I think we all need a Compassion UPGRADE.
I've been "watching" someone who has suffered for a long time. As the years go by, some of her friends have fallen away, because it's awkward to them that nothing changes. It's so sad.
Confession Time
I "fell away" from encouraging a friend years ago too—a grieving brother in the family of God—because:
- I got busy in life;
- I didn't know what else I could say. I didn't know how to keep on encouraging him as he was hurting . . . and it went on and on for years.
So I just prayed—which wasn't bad, but it wasn't enough.
I could have reached out more.
The longer I didn't write to encourage him, the worse I felt. The harder it got.
I reasoned that I didn't want to be like one of Job's unhelpful counselors, doing more damage than helping.
But the truth is, there were many ways I could have expressed God's (and my) loving concern.
It wasn't that I didn't love my brother in Christ; I just didn't know how to "relate" to his suffering anymore.
I understand now that I could have continued to share simple truths:
- "I'm still praying for you," or
- "God sees and loves you."
I could have spoken God's truth into his pain from a caring heart.
I could have asked him, "How can I pray specifically for you today—physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually?" I even could have sent resources to remind Him I cared.
I learned that lesson the hard way, and it made me more sensitive to "continue" to encourage others who hurt.
We never know how God might use our words or actions to encourage others. If we take time to think about it, there are many ways to comfort those who struggle.
When we're with them, we might take their hands in ours, look them in the eyes, and say, "I love you and I'm praying for you."
Sometimes, it's just a matter of sitting with them in their times of grief or pain.
A woman once told me the most meaningful thing that happened to her all day at a funeral for her husband was that I simply sat beside her and held her hand for an hour . . . no words, just my presence.
Keep on comforting and encouraging—any way you can!
One other thing. I am thankful the Bible says we have a friend who "sticks" with us, closer than a brother (Prov. 18:24). He never leaves us, and He knows how to comfort us in our struggles. We may feel he has deserted us in our circumstances, but the promise is "He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you" (Deut. 31:8b NLT).
Sometimes it's "no words" . . . just God's wonderful presence.
How about you? Is there someone you might encourage today? Someone you once encouraged, but you've been busy, or maybe you fretted over what to say?
Why not simply stop right now and write to or tell that person you care and are praying? It will mean a lot.
Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, 
and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.
and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.Graphic adapted, courtesy of AlexasFotos at Pixabay.