Sally Ferguson writes about everyday adventures with refreshing perspectives. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she encourages parents to nurture their children's dreams by listening to their hearts and observing their gifts from God.
“When my children were young, I was fascinated by families who were a step ahead of us,” Sally says.
“How did they foster independence and a strong work ethic in their children? How did some go on to become doctors and pastors, when others couldn’t land on a career choice?”
I (Dawn) have seen this evidence of strong parenting too. And I couldn't agree with Sally more about how it influences children's hopes, dreams, and future.
Sally continues . . .
In my own upbringing, I had a strong missions influence. We lived in Grand Cayman for four years while my parents taught in the Christian school and served in various churches on the island. Our home became a landing base for missionaries from all around the globe.
I loved experiencing so many cultures through their stories. Could I also translate that love for God’s work to my own children?
I came to realize a strong work ethic had a lot to do with character formation in the home. Traits like honesty, kindness, and self-control don’t come naturally—we have to learn them.
And, often, the learning happens in what we observe.
- Do parents spend huge amounts of time in front of the T.V.? Then so would the children.
- Do parents reach out to neighbors? Then so would the children.
- Do parents gossip about others? Then so would the children.
It’s all a part of instilling a sense of the responsibility we have as citizens of the world and members of our communities. We are a part of a bigger picture than what’s around us.
As global citizens, we are our brother’s keeper and our sister’s nurturer.
Here are some principles I learned about values.
1. Values are caught, not taught.
Yes, we have to be teachers of the Word, but our children imitate what we model.
My son and daughter inherited my creativity in the kitchen. They also learned about my negative traits and shortcomings.
What makes us different, as Christian parents?
The ability to say, “I’m sorry. I messed up. I need your forgiveness.”
2. Values develop in the heart before becoming an art.
When we understand the “why” behind the principle, it creates a solid background for a lifestyle.
Telling my child to do something my way because I’m the parent communicates we have to obey regardless of the reason.
When we explain our thinking, it helps them develop deductive reasoning skills and think through the process before pursuing an action.
3. Values shape us, not break us.
Values don’t provide a list of rules to make life difficult, but to provide boundaries for the formation of beautiful character.
Following a tab of do’s and don’ts creates legalism.
Developing attributes of integrity and moral strength creates freedom to be ourselves.
When I wrote What Will I Be When I Grow Up?, I wanted to express the importance of work being wholly dedicated to God.
We are all born with a particular personality bent, so we cannot expect each child to fall into the same career path. It’s like trying to fit a spare peg into a round hole.
In high school, I thought the only way I could serve God was to be a missionary. So, I set myself up to feel like a failure when that path didn’t open up.
I’ve learned instead, God uses us as His ambassadors in every arena.
Mechanics, lab technicians, and art teachers all have something in common—they have been created by God to do great work in their field.
These are statements I love.*
- Hair stylists tell people God counts each hair on our heads. (Matthew 10:30)
- Bakers tell people Jesus is the Bread of Life. (John 6:35)
- Firemen tell people Jesus came to rescue us. (2 Peter 3:9)
Do your children like math? They can help us number our days. (Psalm 90:12)
Do your children like aeronautics? They can remind us God created all things in intricate design. (Hebrews 11:3)
Do your children like music? They can lead us in worship to our Creator. (Exodus 15:19-21)
Instead of expecting your children to fulfill YOUR dreams, why not join in the greatest adventure by helping them discover THEIR God-given abilities?
Help them dream their own dreams by providing exposure to many occupations, and experimenting with instruction, interim work, and insight into other livelihoods.
They will become well-rounded individuals and, grounded in their faith, missionaries to the world around them!
How will you help your children create dreams based on biblical traits?
Sally Ferguson loves to dive into God’s Word and splash His refreshing water onto others. She speaks and writes with a look at snapshots of life in the 
sunshine and in the storms. Sally plans women’s retreats and she’s working on a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in the beautiful countryside of Jamestown, New York, with her husband and her dad. What Will I Be When I Grow Up? is available here, or contact Sally on her website—sallyferguson.net—for a copy.
*Statements are from Sally's book, What Will I Be When I Grow Up?
Graphic adapted, courtesty of Anastasia Gepp at Pixabay.