When I Feel Forgotten by Jesus

Some people, like Debbie W. Wilson, continually draw out fresh applications from old truths. In this UPLIFT Encouragement, using the story of Lazarus, Debbie reminds us that our Savior will never forget us—even if we feel like He has sometimes.

And especially when He delays to come to our aid.                    

"My standard poodles’ big brown eyes melted my resolve," Debbie says. “'Ok. You can go with me.'”

I (Dawn) totally understand. My dog gets puppy-dog eyes—what else would I call them?—whenever I head for the door. "Pleeeeeeease don't leave me," he seems to say.

How can I say no?

Debbie continues . . . 

Max’s fluffy tail thumped excitedly. His sister pranced with anticipation. And I smiled.

I hate to disappoint pooches and people. Especially, my pooches and my people.

That’s why Jesus’ actions in John 11 astound me.

“Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days” (John 11:5-6 NIV).

Without divine intervention, Lazarus would die.

Jesus had the power to heal.

Lazarus’ sisters sent an urgent message to Jesus,

“Lord, the one you love is sick” (John 11:3 emphasis added).

As a close friend of this family, surely, Jesus would rush to the rescue. He would not disappoint those He loved.

But Jesus waited.

Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So…He waited???

That doesn’t compute.

Jesus finally arrived—after Lazarus had been in the tomb four days.

Jewish tradition held that the spirit left the body within four days.

Lazarus was gone.

Confusion complicated Martha and Mary’s grief.

• “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (vs. 21).
• Mary fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died” (vs. 32)
• Even their friends were confused, “But some of them said, ‘Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?’” (vs. 37).

And they were right. If Jesus had been there Lazarus wouldn’t have died. Jesus said so (John 11:14-15).

For me, being misunderstood ranks up there with not disappointing someone I love. Jesus wasn’t calloused to their feelings (see John 11:33-38). But He was willing to be misunderstood to bring about a greater good.

He allowed Lazarus to feel forsaken on his deathbed, Mary and Martha to feel forgotten in their grief, and the villagers to question His love for His friends.

Why?

Because the eternal benefit outweighed the temporary discomfort.

He wanted for them SOMETHING BETTER than relief.

He wanted them to gain unshakable faith.

No one doubted Jesus could heal. But no one had ever raised someone who’d been dead four days.

Has Jesus’ timing ever disappointed you? What answer are you still waiting for?What “no” pains and confuses you?

Take heart from Jesus’ delay.

Listen to WHY He waited.

• “It is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it” (John 11:4 NIV)
• “Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him” (John 11:14-15 NIV).
• “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die” (John 11:25 NIV).
  
• “‘Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?’…‘Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me’” (John 11:40-42 NIV).
  
• “Therefore many of the Jews … believed in him” (John 11:45 NIV).

When it looks like Jesus has forgotten you, when He seems to ignore your needs, draw hope from this story.

Stretching our faith is more important than our comfort. It’s how we come to know God is bigger and better than we can imagine.

Let’s allow Jesus to smash the boxes we’ve confined Him to and not lose heart when He delays.

He hasn’t forgotten you.

"Dear Father, Your will and Your ways are always better than mine. Feel free to tell me 'no' when You have a better plan."

When has a bitter “no” turned into a better “yes” for you?

Debbie W. Wilson, Bible teacher and former biblical counselor, combines insight and encouragement to inspire people to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Little Women, Big God, and Give Yourself a Break. She and her husband Larry founded Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling and Bible study ministry. Debbie enjoys dark chocolate, a good mystery, and the antics of her two standard poodles. Find free resources and connect with Debbie at RefreshingFaith.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Mediamodifier at Pixabay.

Painting of "The Raising of Lazarus" by Rembrandt, on Wikipedia. Part of the Google Art Project—Harmensz VanRijn.

The Power of Giving Thanks

Debbie W. Wilson's blog posts continue to apply biblical truth to rubber-meets-the-road heart issues. In this Thanksgiving UPGRADE she applies the truth of giving thanks to the tough topic of disappointments.

"Is it possible to trust God with problems and disappointments before they’re resolved? Yes!" Debbie says. "Let me share my story of how I learned it’s not only possible, but powerful."

I (Dawn) have recently faced a the specter of disappointment, and Debbie's words encouraged me more than I can express. I pray she will encourage you too.   

Debbie continues . . . 

During my senior year of college, a restless anxiety began to build in me. Graduation loomed, and I wasn’t sure what to do next.

I overheard some sorority sisters talking about a ski retreat with a Christian group. The group was a bit more zealous in their faith than I was, but a ski retreat should be safe. And I needed a dose of inspiration.

The group chartered an old school bus to carry us to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. As soon as we hit the mountain foothills, the bus began to sputter, stutter, and stop. Obviously, the bus preferred the flat lands of coastal Georgia.

The first time we halted, several students prayed while the bus driver worked to repair the bus. They prayed something like this:

“Thank you, Lord for being in control.”

“Thank you, for allowing this to happen.”

“Thank you, that you are working this out for Your purpose and our good.”

Thanking God wasn’t new to me. But these prayers stunned me.

Who thanks God for disappointment?

As we climbed steeper hills, the stops became more frequent. The heater quit working. My toes felt colder than the frozen snow beside the road.

Each breakdown brought more prayers of thanksgiving.

Finally, late into the night, long after the conference’s evening sessions had ended, our bus sat on the side of a dark highway—broken-down—again.

Across the street sprawled a dingy motel that could have been named Cockroach Inn. When talk about staying there surfaced, I added my silent prayers to the others.

“Dear Lord, don’t listen to these people! I don’t want to spend the night here. We’re cold and tired. Please get us to the conference—tonight.”

The bus rumbled, and we were off. We tiptoed into our sleeping rooms trying not to wake the others.

Engaging speakers, joyful singing, and lots of fun made the weekend better than I’d anticipated. But the attitude of the students and staff both on the bus and at the conference stood out most.

One young man lost his senior ring and didn’t fret.

Who were these people who trusted God with their disappointments?

I began attending church nine months before I was born. I knew Jesus as my Savior and that I was going to heaven when I died. But I lacked the calm confidence these students displayed.

I’d never considered turning to the Lord with my day-to-day disappointments.

That weekend created a thirst to know Jesus better—not because of the wonderful teaching, great worship, or fun—though those didn’t hurt. I wanted to know Him better because of the peace these students showed during disappointment. They trusted God was at work in all things—even disappointment.

And they were right. Not only did God use that broken-down bus to make me thirsty to know Him better, He used it in the lives of other students too.

What felt like a senseless frustration ended up being the most important part of the conference for many.

Trusting God during disappointment is powerful. It brings us peace and provides a brilliant witness to an anxious world.

Do you have a problem or disappointment weighing on you? What might happen if, by faith, you chose to thank Him before you see how He’ll use it?

I encourage you to try it. It’s not hypocritical to express thanksgiving before we feel it. It’s called obedience — In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus (1 Thess. 5:18 NASB).

What disappointment are you facing right now? How might giving thanks to God before you feel thankful change your perspective and prepare you for what He will do?

Debbie W. Wilson is an experienced Bible teacher and ministry leader. She enjoys equipping others in the areas of relationships, Bible study, Christian living, and discipleship. She uses Spirit-filled encouragement to inspire readers to trust God with their lives. Her latest book, Little Faith, Big God—drawing from Hebrews 11—shows readers how to live well and finish strong. Debbie enjoys dark chocolate, a good mystery, and the antics of her two standard poodles. Find resources and connect with Debbie at debbiewwilson.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Nil2Hoff at Pixabay.

Don't Confuse Being Responsible with Being Faithful

Debbie W. Wilson is both biblically sound and creatively practical. In this Christian Living UPGRADE, she shares the biblical way to deal with a misunderstanding about responsibility."Do you carry an over-developed sense of responsibility?" Debbie asks.

"When I feel overwhelmed or weary, I usually discover I’m feeling responsible for something beyond my control."

Oh, ouch! I (Dawn) know exactly what Debbie means. Why is it such a hard lesson to learn?     

Debbie continues . . .

My desire to do a good job can subtly turn into pressure to make someone happy.

The desire to do good work is admirable. However, the goal to make another person happy is beyond my control.

The Difference Between a Goal and a Desire

In order to help us understand where our responsibilities end and other people’s begin, some thought leaders have delineated between a goal and a desire.

A GOAL is something you want, and you control the means to reach it.

A DESIRE is something you want, but you don’t have control of all the variables to reach it. You need the cooperation of other people or circumstances to achieve it.

For example, let’s say you plan a special picnic for your family.

• You get up early to shred cheese for their favorite pimento cheese sandwiches. 
• You hum as you spread your concoction onto slices of homemade bread.
• The picture of your family enjoying the fruit of your labor brings a smile as you pack a lovely quilt and colorful paper goods.

An hour before you leave, your son’s friend calls to invite him to the pool. He’s spent time with his friend, but not with the family.

You tell him he can go next time. Today is family time. Disappointment oozes out of his pores.

His body comes to the picnic, but not his heart.

You take a deep breath and hand out lunch on fanciful paper plates.

Your daughter whines, “I don’t like this kind of bread.”

You sigh. At least you have homemade chocolate chip cookies.

But when your son grabs the bag of cookies, the ones you stayed up to midnight baking, he shrieks, “They’re alive!”

To your dismay, the seal on the bag is not tight and ants found your cookies.

Now you’re ready to cry!

Did you fail? Was your effort a complete waste? That depends.

• If your goal was to make them happy, then yeah, you failed. They aren’t happy.
• But if your goal was to love your family, then, well done! You are a success.

Learn from Jesus

“Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls’” (Matt. 11:28-29 NLT).

Be gentle with yourself. Jesus is gentle with us. If we learn from Him, we’ll be kind with ourselves too.

Jesus doesn’t hold us responsible for things that lay outside our control.

So, neither should we.

Any goal that requires someone else’s cooperation can be blocked by those people. God doesn’t hold us responsible for what we can’t control. He asks us to be faithful to Him.

God doesn’t measure success by how things appear, but by how we live.

Faith pleases Him (Hebrews 11:6). When we love God and others through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can leave the results to God and know He is pleased with us.

And who knows, our faithfulness to trust God in the presence of disappointment may be our greatest witness to a watching family and world.

Are you feeling responsible for something beyond your control? What would it look like for you to exchange being responsible with being faithful?

Debbie W. Wilson—drawing from her walk with Christ and decades as a Christian counselor and Bible teacher—mixes insight and encouragement to inspire readers to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Give Yourself a Break, and Little Women, Big God. She and her husband Larry founded and run Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling, coaching, and Bible study ministry. Her two standard poodles spice up her life with affection and fun. Find free resources to refresh your faith at debbieWwilson.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Charles MacArthur at Pixabay.

When You Face a Problem, Follow Mary's Example

Debbie W. Wilson is one of two women I know who says so much in few words. In this Faith and Obedience UPGRADE, she points to a woman in the Bible who was a perfect example of how we can face everyday problems or problems that seem incredibly daunting.

Debbie says, "What do you do when you come up against an unexpected or impossible problem? Try to fix it, panic, or call for help? Mary, the mother of Jesus, models how I want to act."

When problems come, I (Dawn) tend to be a "fixer." I say, "I can handle this."

But how many times, I wonder, might Jesus have handled it differently? How many times have I short-circuited what He wanted to do in a situation. He still works, but do I get the glory, or Him? Debbie challenges our perspective.

Debbie continues . . .

At the beginning of His public ministry at age thirty, Jesus attended a wedding at Cana. Mary must have been helping at the wedding. When the wine ran out, she brought the problem to Jesus. You can read the account here: John 2:1-11.

Mary said to Jesus, “They have no more wine.”

That’s it.

No pleading, no explanation of how embarrassing or urgent this was, no pointing out how this might foster faith in His disciples. Just, “They have no more wine.”

To the servants she said, “Do whatever He tells you.”

Jesus told them to fill the ceremonial washing jars with water. They filled six 20-30-gallon jars to the brim.

“Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet,” He said.

I smile when I read this.

Did the servant hold his breath when the host tasted the water?

I picture his eyes sparking with relief when the master proclaimed, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

Personal Applications

1. Tell Jesus the problem—not the solution.

When I bring my problems to God, I often suggest ways to solve them.

There is nothing wrong with asking. But did you notice, Mary didn’t tell Jesus how to fix the problem? How could she?

Jesus did something that defied imagination. 

When I focus on how I think He should act, I miss the work He is doing.

2. Follow His instructions and leave the results with Him. 

Mary didn’t supervise Jesus’ actions. She told the servants to do what He said.

I’m sure His directions didn’t make sense to them. Because they obeyed, they experienced a miracle.

Trust Jesus with My Problem

Mary knew Jesus’ compassion. She trusted His love, wisdom, and ability.

• Perhaps Jesus had miraculously multiplied food for His family in the meager years after Joseph died.
  
• Satan knew Jesus could turn a stone into bread (Matthew 4:3).

After Mary told Jesus about the need, she left the problem in His capable hands.

If Mary didn’t feel a need to tell her son how to solve the problem, why do I think I need to come up with the solution for my Lord? I only need to trust and obey Him.

I can’t see His spiritual power at work anymore than I can see the wind.

But when I trust Him, I witness the result.

How can you apply Mary’s example to a problem you’re facing?

Debbie W. Wilson, drawing from her walk with Christ and decades as a Christian counselor and Bible teacher, mixes insight and encouragement to inspire readers to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Give Yourself a Break, and Little Women, Big God. She and her husband Larry founded and run Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling, coaching, and Bible study ministry. Find free resources to refresh your faith at debbieWwilson.com.

Photo of Stone Water Jars from Land of Israel Tours.

A Resolution Worth Keeping... More Vibrant Faith

Debbie W. Wilson has a big God, and she wants other to know Him too! In this Faith UPGRADE, she encourages us to take stock of our lives and determine whether our faith walk with the Lord is growing.

"After the holidays, diet centers and gyms fill up," Debbie says, "If our temporal bodies are worth investing in, what about our spiritual life?"

I (Dawn) think this is a good question. This January, instead of focusing on diet plans, I focused on spiritual truths that will build my life—and ultimately affect other things. That's Debbie's focus too. She  encourages spiritual growth in a key area—FAITH.

Debbie continues . . .

Some of us use the beginning of a new year as an opportunity to reflect on where we are in life and where we want to go. 2020 tested the faith of many of us in ways we couldn’t have previously imagined.

I lost a prayer partner who was also one of my closest friends. Many of my friends lost loved ones, not to COVID, but to accidents and other illnesses.

Add to this our national unrest. The hate and deception I saw in my country sickened and saddened me.

More than ever, we can no longer stand to limp along with weak faith. It’s time to strengthen the limbs that are weak.

Soft may be desirable in pillows and toilet paper, but soft faith won’t hold up in the times we find ourselves.

The Bible says, But the righteous will live by his faith (Habakkuk 2:4 NASB).

What are some of the rewards of strong faith? Recognizing the perils of fragile faith and the benefits of firm faith motivates me to persevere in strengthening my flabby faith muscles.

In what kind of condition is your faith?

Consider which traits on the following lists best describe where you are today.

Fragile Faith:

• Worries, frets, and forgets our Father already knows our needs (Matthew 6:30, Psalms 23:1);
• Is timid and fearful (Matthew 8:26);
• Is easily distracted (Matthew 14:30-31)
• Quickly forgets God’s history and character (Matthew 16:8-10);
• Has limited spiritual power (Matthew 17:18-21);
• Lives confined by more restrictions (Romans 14:1-2); and
  
• Lives by feelings and sight (Hebrews 10:38).

Firm Faith: 

• Believes what God says (Matthew 8:5-10);
• Heals body and soul (Matthew 9:2, 22, 29, 15:28; Mark 2:6);
• Restores our sight — literally in this passage, but also spiritually (Luke 18:35-43);
• Grows stronger in impossible circumstances (Romans 4:19-20);
• Expands our personal freedoms (Romans 14:23);
• Is demonstrated through obedience (Romans 16:26, Hebrews 11);
• Is based on God’s power, not man’s wisdom (1 Corinthians 2:5);
• Has Christ as its object (Galatians 2:20, Hebrews 12:2); and
  
• Is bold (2 Timothy 1:7).

In what areas are you doing well? In which areas do you need improvement?

Just as our bodies require fuel and exercise, so do our souls. Studying the Bible feeds our faith, but we must exercise that faith through obedience to stay strong and continue growing.

We need to create a plan to renew our minds daily and we must practice what we learn in order to exercise those faith muscles.

• WHEN will you read your Bible? — If it helps, write it on your daily calendar.
• WHAT will you read? — Choose a book of the Bible or a Bible study book that you will work through.
• WHERE will you meet with the Lord daily? —  Keep your Bible, journal, pens, and highlighters there.

Like all living things, faith requires constant care. Just as physical health requires good nutrition, rest, exercise, and daily hygiene so vibrant faith requires effort.

No one brushes her teeth and says, “Good, I never have to do that again!”

So it is with faith.

Moment by moment, opportunity by opportunity, we must choose to walk by faith, or, by default, we won’t. My desire this year is to consciously CHOOSE faith!

Let’s pray for each other, that this year will be a year of strong faith—faith that says, “Wow, what a Savior!”

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well (3 John 1:2).

I don’t know what 2021 will bring. But those who are planted on the rock never need fear the storms.

Our rock never fails.

What is one habit you want to add or change in order to strengthen your faith this year?

Debbie W. Wilson, drawing from her walk with Christ and decades as a Christian counselor and Bible teacher, mixes insight and encouragement to inspire readers to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Give Yourself a Break, and Little Women, Big God. She and her husband Larry founded and run Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling, coaching, and Bible study ministry. Find free resources to refresh your faith at debbieWwilson.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Free-photos at Pixabay.