I Can Fly with a Little Help from My Friends!

Deb DeArmond loves to see the Lord transform relationships through the wisdom of His Word. In this Friendship UPGRADE, she shares some tips for cultivating stronger friendships.

“In a recent email,” Deb said, “my friend, Jeanne closed with the words, ‘Thank you for being my friend. In the moment, the phrase caught me off guard and my eyes quickly filled with tears.”

I (Dawn) understand the depths of emotion we can feel because of our friendships, and sometimes our poor responses to friends we love. Deb addresses both.

Deb continues . . .

The content of my friend's note was not emotional, and yet I became a puddle without warning. Why?

Jeanne and I met at a writer's conference seven years ago. She invited me to record an interview about my first book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice. It would be broadcast on Heritage of Truth, the ministry she and her husband built together.

Though our time was brief, our hearts made an immediate connection that's grown stronger over time.

• We can’t meet for coffee; we live 1000+ miles apart.
• We rarely email and have never spoken on the phone.
• In a good year, we see each other once or twice.

So why did her expression of friendship impact me so deeply?

It's simple: God made us for CONNECTION.

It stirs us. And heart-to-heart friendship is tough to come by. I believe it’s rare.

We may call many people friends, including co-workers, neighbor, and our regular church companions in the 6^th pew back from the stage on the right side of the sanctuary. We may stay in touch with many who date back to childhood.  

I went from kindergarten to college with most of the same kids. They are important to me. We keep up with one another through social media—I know who has a new baby in the family, a promotion, or the loss of a loved one. I’m grateful we grew up together.

• Are these heart connections? Not so much.
• Do we all share the same faith? No, and sadly, some have none at all.

But I love them because we were witnesses to one another’s lives.

We have a shared history.

Could I call on them for encouragement, prayer, or a reminder of the God’s love in a time of hopeless despair or spiritual rebellion? With a few exceptions, the answer is no.

Life demands of us. A friend's encouragement or a loving rebuke is needed at times to remind us who He’s designed us to become.

A good friend is willing to do so, comfortable or not.

I’ve been blessed to experience this level of friendship; to have people—like Jeanne—in my life. She’s been a cheerleader, encourager and role mode. She’s open, candid and kind. I’m blessed to be her friend.

We’ve all had fair-weather friends. Those who tell us what we want to hear and when the going gets tough, they get gone.

Some of us may have been that friend on occasion. God’s not impressed with this approach.

The Bible says,

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:14-15 NIV).

I hear my mom (gone for 20 years) remind me: “If you want a good friend, you have to be a good friend.”

How can we do that? Here are some possibilities.

Tips and Challenges

1. Ask the Lord to Guide Your Approach.

Pray when you feel impatient with a friend who’s in a tailspin—again.

Maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s discouragement, or a lack of faith. Remember, love wins.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2 NIV).

2. Take Inventory.

Be brave and ask your closest friends how you could support or love them better.

Ask yourself, “Do I dispense advice, or do I seek God to discover what He’d like me to share?”

“The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense” (Proverbs 27:9 NLT).

3. Be Brave.

Proverbs 17:17 reminds us, “Iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”

Lord, give us fearless obedience to You and Your Word. Let us be a channel to lift one another higher.

After all, that’s what friends are for.   

Which of these tips and challenges might help you further cultivate a cherished friendship today?

Deb DeArmond’s passion is family—not just her own, but the relationships within families in general. Her first book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice: Transforming the Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships explores tools and tips to building sound relationships between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. Book #2, I Choose You Today, helps couples strengthen their marriages. Deb's new book on marital conflict, Don't Go to Bed Angry, Stay Up and Fight! was co-authored by her husband, Ron. They live in the Fort Worth area. For more about Deb, visit her "Family Matters" site.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of StockSnap at Pixabay.

As if Chained with Them

Kathi Macias' novels about issues like human traficking, survival in non-Christian surroundings and persecution of Christ-followers have challenged me greatly and encouraged my desire to pray for the persecuted Church. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she encourages us to consider the persecuted in a more impassioned and involved way.

"The Bible tells us to remember the prisoners—those who suffer for their faith—'as if chained with them,'" Kathi says. "This is more than a call to remember our persecuted brothers and sisters in prayer; and it is also a call to do whatever we can to ease their suffering and strengthen their witness."

Many years ago in college, I (Dawn) was first moved to pray for the Persecuted Church in Russia. I felt their struggle and cried out to God in their behalf. It's a burden that's never left me, and I'm glad to see Kathi opening her heart about it today.

Kathi continues . . .

As a new believer in 1974, I came to view the Church through an "American lens," as if every Christian around the world lived and worshipped in much the same setting and circumstances as I did.

However, after hearing a few guest missionaries speak at our church's evening services, my understanding of the plight of many believers in other countries changed drastically.

In addition, my Bible reading regarding the early Church took on new meaning. I realized it wasn't just first-century Christians who suffered persecution; it was also believers around the world today who suffer unimaginable hardships for no reason other than their faith in Christ.

It was during that time that I read the third chapter of Hebrews—not for the first time since becoming a believer, but for the first time since my eyes were opened to the plight of fellow believers. Verse 13 nearly jumped off the page as I read it over several times:

“Remember the prisoners as if chained with them—those who are mistreated—since you yourselves are in the body also” (NKJV).

Now I have since heard that scripture used in prison ministry, and I don’t discount that, as I too have served in jail and prison ministries through the years and have quoted that verse more than once in that setting.

However, it is obvious from a clear reading of this verse that the author is referring to believers, those who, like us, “are in the body also.” It is also clear that we are to “remember” these prisoners as if we, too, were “chained with them.” What does that mean?

How do we remember others as if we suffered with them?

1. Of course, we must “remember” to pray for them as if we were praying for ourselves (or a loved one) in such dire straits.

I know that if I were the one in chains, I would be in constant prayer and communion with God about every aspect of my situation. And if one of my grown children or grandchildren were being held in such circumstances, that remembrance would no doubt be my last anguished thought as I drifted off to sleep at night, and the first thought when I awoke the next morning.

I would need no reminding or prodding to pray for them; it would flow naturally and regularly from my broken heart.

And that is the type of ongoing, heartfelt prayer God calls us to in Hebrews.

But is prayer enough—even regular, anguished prayer? It is, of course, the first and most important thing we can do for our suffering brothers and sisters in Christ, but can we take it to the next step?

Is there something we can do beyond lifting those “in chains” to God, the only One who can help them?

I believe there is—and I believe we must.

2. Do what you can to ease their suffering.

If, as the verse declares, we are to “remember” our persecuted brothers and sisters in Christ “as if chained with them,” then we need to do for them what we would want others to do for us if we or our family members were the ones in chains. We would want them to pray and also to do what they could to help ease our suffering.

As a result of coming to understand that, I have personally become involved with several worldwide ministries, including Voice of the Martyrs who work tirelessly to assist persecuted believers around the world.

Not only do I receive email updates from them with information on how to pray for certain people, but I also receive their monthly magazine, containing inspirational stories of believers who have stood strong under persecution and seen God’s faithfulness in the middle of it.

Gratitude for prayer is a hallmark of their victorious testimonies.

They also express their appreciation for help received, such as food or clothing or other material assistance.

One of my greatest joys is to know that I help monthly by financially supporting someone who trusts God and goes out to minister in some of the most dangerous places imaginable.

In addition to Voice of the Martyrs, other ministries (i.e., Open Doors, Compassion International) offer opportunities to “remember” those who suffer “as if chained with them.” Working with such ministries is a way for all believers to participate in answering that call.

Not only does such ministry involvement bless and encourage others around the world, it deepens our relationship with the One who calls us to do so.

Are you praying for the Persecuted Church? If not, ask God to move your heart to do so. What ministry to those "in chains" of persecution might you consider today to help you cultivate a heart of compassion for brothers and sisters in dangerous places?

Kathi Macias is a multi-award winning writer who has authored nearly 60 books and ghostwritten several others. Kathi won the 2008 Member of the Year award from AWSA (Advanced Writers and Speakers Association) and was the 2011 Author of the Year from BooksandAuthors.net. Her novel Red Ink won the 2011 Golden Scrolls Novel of the Year Award and was also a finalist for a Carol Award from American Christian Fiction Writers. Kathi “Easy Writer” Macias lives in Homeland, CA, with her husband, Al. You can learn more about her and her books/ministry at www.kathimacias.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Engin Akyurt at Unsplash.

A Season of Quarantined or Cocooned?

Joanie Shawhan is skilled at finding positive lessons in the midst of seemingly negative circumstances. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she writes about how the recent quarantine was, for her, a time of transformation.

"Frightened, bewildered and shut away—the hallmarks of this quarantined season," Joanie says.

Like many, I (Dawn) struggled many days with feelings of being shut away, but then the Lord showed me fresh insights about living. In the midst of great losses, many also experienced great blessings of spiritual growth.

Joanie continues . . .

I don’t understand why we’ve been engulfed in a pandemic and why so many people suffered the loss of loved ones and livelihood.

The following verse has challenged me:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5 NKJV).

“Trust me,” God says.

Do I trust nothing bad will happen? Bad things happen to good people, even God’s people. But I don’t place my trust in my circumstances.

I trust in the God who walks with me through all my seasons, including brokenness. 

As we emerge from quarantine, I wonder, were we truly isolated?

Maybe we’ve been hidden.

Sequestered away, I felt God had wrapped me in a cocoon, hiding me, sheltering me, drawing me to Himself. But the cocoon was not a place of inactivity.

Deep within, hidden, God was at work transforming me.

Maybe He has been transforming all of us—stripping away stinky mindsets, attitudes and trappings. Replacing dead works with His truth and love.

How we emerge from our cocoons, spun by the hand of God in response to the crisis, will depend upon the nourishment we received while hidden in Him. Nourishment that comes from His Word and His presence—healing and recreating us into His image. Restoring our identity in Christ.

While we were hidden away...

What qualities did God cultivate in our hearts? 

1. Faith

Our faith increased as our hearts responded to God's love and His goodness. We became confident He is for us and not against us.

2. Trust

We grew in trust, as we experienced God’s faithfulness even when we didn’t understand the whys of our circumstances.

3. Peace

We focused on Christ and His Word, calming our hearts in the face of fear and anxiety.

4. Love.

God continually reached out to us and drew us to Himself by His love, a love that never changes despite our weaknesses and failures.

5. Hope.

We know God moved on our behalf even when we couldn’t see any evidence of change. He promised us a future filled with hope.

6. Humility.

We recognized the situation we faced was out of our control and we couldn’t fix it. Only the God who created the universe could bring order out of this chaos.

Like butterflies, we can’t remain in the chrysalis forever.

We must also emerge, changed and transformed. But our beauty reflects the image of Christ.

What aspects of God might we manifest as we emerge from a season hidden in Christ?

1. Compassion — During our confinement, we learned to listen to God’s heart, His love and compassion for a hurting world.

2. Grace — God softened our hearts, reminding us everyone has a story. He enables us to extend grace to those whose viewpoints and feelings are different than our own.

I like John Stott’s definition of grace, “Grace is love that stoops and rescues.”

3. Joy — The joy we experienced in the presence of the Lord will flow through us to others. This joy will strengthen us as we move forward to fulfill our purpose and destiny.

God is looking for vessels transformed by His love, ready to minister to a hurting world.

We go forth with the compassion, grace and joy God instilled in us while we were sequestered away with Him.

We will be able to proclaim along with David:

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him (Psalm 40:3 NIV).

What transformation have you experienced during this season of confinement?

Joanie Shawhan is an ovarian cancer survivor, registered nurse, speaker, Selah Awards Finalist for In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, and radio and television guest. Contact Joanie: www.joanieshawhan.com.

Experience the Richness of God's Promises

Shonda Whitworth offers hope to those who have been impacted by incarceration, and in this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she remind all of us to break into the freedom of God's promises.

"With that one late night call containing tragic news, life as I knew it vanished," Shonda said. "As shock took over my body, a familiar verse popped into mind. 'And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.'

"That wasn’t the verse I would have selected for this heart-crushing news. That Scripture seemed—cliché."

Though I (Dawn) never got a call like Shonda did, I've faced a number of shocks that made me wonder what God was up to. In one case, I found myself clinging to Romans 8:28 too. For me, the key words were "His purpose."

Shonda continues . . .

How could God work something good out of such a horrific situation?

The caller on the other end of the line informed us that one person’s life had been taken and another’s was in serious condition. And my son was one of the two arrested for this unimaginable tragedy.

In my church circles of influence, I heard Romans 8:28 quoted repetitiously when someone faced a difficult trial. Following this example, I even hugged others and quoted this verse in my feeble attempts to comfort them.

Yet, I found no comfort in that moment hearing it in my thoughts. So, I know I would NOT have wanted one of my loving Christian friends to hug me and say, “Hon it will be alright because God works all things together for good for those who love Him.”

In spite of my feelings about that verse at that moment, I shifted into autopilot mode and did what I had practiced for years—wrote out the Scripture and turned it into prayer.

Clinging to the paper, I prayed,

“Lord, if You are Who You say You are, then make this passage real for me and my family and the families who are grieving tonight. Only You can work something good out of this horrific situation.”

My reality merged into a portion of an unimaginable tragedy. At that juncture, I faced a choice—believe God’s Word or reject it.

I chose to believe.

Scripture may seem trite when it is overused or used inappropriately.

The Word of God is never void of His power, but the enemy wants us to think it is.

Looking back, I found two reasons I thought the Scripture was cliché.

1. Familiarity

Overused Scripture may breed familiarity. For those who attend church regularly, certain Scriptures become familiar to us.

Part of our human nature is that when something become generally known, it loses its awe.

No true prophecy comes from human initiative but is inspired by the moving of the Holy Spirit upon those who spoke the message that came from God (2 Peter 1:21, TPT).

Scriptures are literally God’s word to us. We must treat the written word as if the Lord is speaking to us face to face as He did with Moses.

God is holy, and we’re to reverence Him as such and that includes His Word.

2. Used inappropriately

Scriptures may be deemed misused if the person quoting it does not have a testimony to support it.

At the time of my son’s arrest, since no one in my circle of influence had walked through my type of trial, if they had quoted Romans 8:28 to me, I would have dismissed them.

As long as the Lord tarries, we are to comfort one another by sharing our victories of overcoming trials.

First Thessalonians 5:11 says,

Because of this, encourage the hearts of your fellow believers and support one another, just as you have been doing (TPT).

Our lives should demonstrate the power of God.

So, an appropriate way to encourage someone with Scripture is to be open, transparent, and vulnerable with how it worked in our lives—not just merely tossing out Scriptures to sound spiritual. 

Since I choose to grab hold of God’s promise in spite of how it felt cliché, over time God demonstrated His faithfulness to bring about good things out of something tragic.

To summarize a few "good things"—

• My son fully committed his life to Christ and lives uprightly in confinement
• Many of my heart wounds have been healed.
• My husband and I started a nonprofit ministry to support families who face similar trials.

The enemy, who is the father of lies, twists the truth of the Scriptures.

If he can get us to dismiss God’s Word due to familiarity or misuse it by merely tossing it around without demonstrating its power, then we will miss the richness of God’s promises.

What is your approach to the Scriptures? Are you treating it with familiarity? Misusing it without the humble use of testimony as to its power? How can you change your approach?

Shonda Savage Whitworth is the founder and president of Fortress of Hope Ministries, Inc. (https://fortressofhopeministries.com/), offering hope to those whose lives have been impacted by incarceration. Shonda connects with others through her personal experiences and testimony of God’s faithfulness in her life. You can read more stories about Shonda’s unexpected prison family journey on her blog. (https://www.shondasavagewhitworth.com/)

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Delanie at Lightstock.

10 Sneaky Spaces to Get Organized!

Marcia Ramsland practices what she teaches. I have been in her well-ordered and welcoming home. In this Organization UPGRADE she offers suggestions each of us can tackle to make our living space more organized.

“Sneaky Spaces” are small clutter troves hiding from your everyday life... until you face the embarrassment of someone spotting them," Marcia said.

"Worse yet, they are clutter of one category that keeps you from finding exactly what you need fast."    

I (Dawn) identify with that "sneaky spaces" concept... and the embarrassment of someone seeing them. I opened a closet with guests present, and blushed as some photos—in a loose, messy stack—tumbled out onto the floor! Red-faced and uncomfortable!

Marcia continues . . .      

Do you have what I call “Sneaky Spaces” that fill up with small items?

These spaces are small clutter troves hiding from your everyday life... until now. Use them up and let them go!

Pick a couple of areas below and entertain yourself and/or your family sorting them. It’s fun, easy, and productive to do in an evening. 

You’ll wonder how so much collected and how little of each you actually use.

This remind me me of Luke 16:10 when Jesus said, “He who is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much.”

What is it we are to be faithful stewards of? That which we own is at the top of the list.

As you read below, check how many you might feel “guilty” of... and then simply schedule the time (30-60 minutes) to deal with one of the “sneaky clutter spaces.”

 10 Sneaky Spaces to Get Organized 

1. Use Up Bathroom Products

All those little makeup samples, shampoo products, conditioners, nail polish, lipsticks, soap samples equal clutter!

You know what you like. Minimize the rest by using it up or tossing it out.

2. Sort Linen Closet Bedding and Towels

Take the time to wash all the towels, keep the sets you like and “Demote, Donate, or Trash” old stuff you don’t use.

3. Recycle Batteries and Lightbulbs

Gather them in one place, organize what works, and create a box ready to recycle when you can.

Now is a good time to replace bulbs and fire alarm and flashlight batteries.

4. Label Cable and Cord Collections

Do you have a stash of cables and wires you don’t even know what they are for? Now is the time to get family together to divide and conquer the cord collection.

Label chords, especially those that only the techie at home knows what they’re for.

5. Shred Old Credit Cards and Papers

You probably own a shredder, so now is the time to use it.

Credit Cards are good “fodder” and can be shredded as well as old financial papers that are filling up file drawers. Now is the time!

6. Fix it or Toss It—Repair Stuff

Do you have a random pile of things to be glued or repaired? Now is the time to use it or lose it.

Make a repair list, take it to dinner and decide who’s going to fix it or if it’s time to let it go.

7. Give Up the Receipt Collection

Continue shredding with receipts that have piled up.

You can practically have a confetti party when old receipts are gone through and gone!

8. Sort Your “Bag Lady” Stash

Seriously, how many bags do you need?

• Divide the plastic bags into Small, Medium, and Large and store in plastic containers with a lid.
• Refold canvas and cloth bags with the handles inside and the smooth edge lined up like books on a shelf.
• Don’t forget to include the ones in the car!

9. Clean Up Car Clutter

What a good time to get outside and cleanup the inside of your car.

Clean out all the clutter, vacuum, and be ready for the day we are released from Home Quarantine. It is well worth having a clean car.

10. Recycle Kitchen Plastic Ware

So often we collect more plastic containers than we use when food comes packaged in them.

Count, discuss, and release what’s filling up your cabinets.

Make a Clean Sweep of your kitchenware!

Today’s Tip:

“One of the fastest ways to save time is to organize what you use and let go of the excess.

"Keep your favorites and let go of the rest.”

Take a few minutes now and get started decluttering simple, small spaces like those listed above.

Be faithful in all the small spaces of clutter in your life.

It will reward you 10 x over once you get just what you need back into organized place!

What “Sneaky Space” would save you time and energy each day if you organized and decluttered the collection – makeup, receipts, cords, or bags?

Marcia Ramsland is well known as the “Organizing Pro” and teaches ten online organizing courses and coaches individuals to be highly productive personally and professionally. She is the author of the Simplify Your Life: Get Organized and Stay that Way book series, which has sold over 100,000 copies. Marcia believes anyone can become more organized and live an organized lifestyle that’s easy, simple, and productive - even YOU! For courses, personal coaching, and free inspirational materials visit her website at www.organizingpro.com

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Shaun Finn at Pixabay.