Creating Screen-Free Spaces

Arlene Pellicane is committed to family togetherness, and in this Parenting UPGRADE, she explains how modern media can get in the way.

“When my husband and I were married more than fifteen years ago, he had a strange request,”LetSomeT Arlene said. “Could we have a TV-free home for the first month of our marriage? He wanted to spend quality time together in the evenings after work instead of turning on the tube.”

My (Dawn’s) first impression when I read that was, "Wow! What a man. What insight!”

Arlene continues …

Although it was quite a stretch (I was working as a television producer then), we did it. When we brought the television back, it seemed like a noisy intruder to our peaceful oasis. We’ve never subscribed to cable or watched TV in our home since. 

As a result, our children (ages 4, 7 and 9) have grown up in a TV-free home. My kids aren’t up on the latest programs. They’ve never had the television on as background noise. When it is movie night or we watch a funny video online, it’s a big event and the kids come running. 

But I can honestly say a media-poor life has given us a family-rich life. Ethan, Noelle and Lucy have grown up with a love of books, music, exercise and plenty of time for imaginative play. 

Now I am not saying that canceling cable is for every household. But I do want to encourage you that it is possible to raise your children differently even in a media-saturated world.

My oldest, Ethan, is in fifth grade, and his friends can’t believe he doesn’t have a television or video games. 

“You poor thing, what do you do all day?” they ask. Ethan smiles and says he likes to read, play the piano, and build things with Legos. It may be difficult at first to cut back on television for your family, but in time healthier alternatives will arise in the absence of television.

Now, before you think I’m unaffected by screen time, let me confess. 

I may not watch television, but my home computer with its dual monitors is always humming. I’m constantly sitting in front of my computer, writing books or blogs, checking emails and social media, updating my calendar and contacts. I’ve explained that mommy is an author who works from home, which legitimizes my screen time to my children. 

But I know many times I’m shopping on Amazon or reading a friend’s blog—spending unnecessary minutes with my screens instead of taking a break. 

Spouses are especially gifted at pointing out areas of improvement.

When I asked James about my screen time, he exclaimed, “You are always on your computer!”

As a result of this realization, I am doing an experiment by turning off my computer after dinner. This forces me to be more productive in the day time and ensures I won’t waste my time mindlessly online in the evening. 

Like me, most adults automatically check their devices several times an hour. Staring at screens is anything but relaxing. So when you set a curfew for all your gadgets and power off at the same time each night, it will actually prepare you to have a better night’s rest. You can put yourself, not just your kids, on a schedule. 

How much television are you going to watch per day? How long are you going to stay online? 

My co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World, Dr. Gary Chapman, posted a question on my Facebook page about how to create more distance between ourselves and our digital devices. Here are a few of the responses:   

We are putting a bin at our front door with a sign that says, “Unless you are expecting a call from God, the Pope, or the President – please deposit your device here so we can make the most of our time together.

We unplug from the time we get home until we get up again the next morning. 

Try going without devices in your home just two days a week and see how relaxed and refreshed you are.  Enjoy the outdoors the other days. True happiness! 

Wireless is on a timer so it goes off at night. 

There are many ways you can tailor-make a digital Sabbath that will work well for you and your family.

As you pull away from the noise of the screen, you will be able to tune into the heart of God and your family members more easily.   

What has worked well in your life to create screen-free space?  What would you like to try this week? 

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (co-authored with Gary Chapman), 31 Days to a Happy Husband, and 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Family Life Today, K-LOVE, The Better Show, The 700 Club, Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah, and TLC’s Home Made Simple. Visit Arlene at www.ArlenePellicane.com for free family resources including a monthly Happy Home podcast.

Note from Dawn: In case you still need some motivation to create screen-free space in your life, watch this sweet, powerful video featuring Arlene’s family.

Graphics: adapted image, courtesy of smarnad and photostock, both at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.