A Merry Heart on a Scrooge Budget

Wendy Hamilton wrote a thought-provoking post that she originally was going to call "Why I Cancelled Christmas." This is a Christmas UPGRADE that may sound negative, but don't miss Wendy's tender, positive heart here.

"I have always loved Christmas," Wendy says. "The lights, the colors, the echoing tinkle of The Salvation Army bell for the Red Kettle campaign and the carols—the beautiful carols—are some of my favorite things"

Yes, I (Dawn) am a Christmas-lover too! The sights and sounds of the season feed my soul. But lately I've reconsidered many of the things I think are so important. My heart even resonates with some of Wendy's words.

Wendy continues . . .

I am one of those women who thinks about Christmas all year long.

I find items that will make the perfect gifts and squirrel those away until the season arrives, and gifts are wrapped and given.

Except this year.

This year, I realized that our family had reached a point where we didn’t really need stuff other than basic things consumed throughout the year.

Another toy, another piece of tech and another sparkly thing really wasn’t a need, nor would such a purchase prove useful or helpful in what God was calling our family to do in full-time ministry.

I stared at items in the store and most of it seemed like junk.

I bought nothing throughout the year.

I realized when October rolled around that when I put my treasure of my time, talent and financial resources where my heart was—in ministry—what was left for Christmas gift buying and giving made me seem like Scrooge instead of a generous, merry-making Santa.

I cried.

There was simply no way to do what we had done in the past.

I couldn’t emotionally, spiritually, budget-wise, or any way commit to what I used to do, which was fast becoming the ghosts of Christmases past.

It was at that point that I knew I had to cancel Christmas.

One by one, family member by family member, I shared with them my heart. I told them that I loved them and loved Christmas. I confessed that Christmas gift giving would look different. I apologized.

I asked them to hear my heart and realize that the change in the value and number of gifts given had nothing to do with them. Our family simply could not spend as much money as we had in the past as my going into full-time ministry reduced our family income, and other life changes that year—my daughter’s wedding and another daughter going to college—had pulled resources from our budgets. 

I expected hurt feelings. I expected judging and condemnation.

None of that happened.   

One hundred percent of our family was on board with canceling Christmas. They saw what God was doing and they expressed that what really mattered to them was the presence of family, not presents. They expressed that they were thankful for us and grateful to God for whatever gifts were given, no matter what.

There were more affirming statements, but all that I feared was not what happened.

Instead, our family connected on a level beyond “stuff” and that, to me, is the stuff that makes for good relationships and stronger families.

God used my change in circumstances to give me a greater gift—His presence.

The Lord promised to supply what was needed for all my needs.

• He gave me joy.
• He gave me strength.
• He also triggered some wonderful ideas to use what I already had and create one-of-a-kind gifts for the people in my life.
• He showed me that when I utilize the resources He already gave me that what He gives is enough.

God’s relationship and His relational giving to me helped me see that connecting at Christmas was more relational and intentional.

Instead of gifts no one needs, we are investing in relational giving and participating in low-cost or no cost activities.

Some of those are: 

• Creating a family game-a-thon (Winner gets annual bragging rights!)
• Baking treats together
• Checking out area Christmas lights
• Volunteering as a family for The Salvation Army’s Red Kettle Campaign
• Caroling
• Working on “old school” Christmas crafts like making snowflakes and stringing popcorn.

This year, if you are struggling with budgets or God is leading you to invest in something other than mountains of stuff no one really needs, instead of canceling Christmas, think relationally.

Relational giving is any gift that focuses on strengthening or building the relationship you have with a person you love. Relational giving allows you to give big love on a tiny budget. You get to show your heart, which is not two sizes too small, but full of a huge love for the people God gave you.

Some relational gifts are:

1. Playing board games
2. Volunteering as a family
3. Watching a movie
4. Seeing light displays
5. Creating a Christmas Photo Scavenger Hunt

Instead of canceling Christmas, ask God to show you the relational gifts that allow you to really connect with the people He gave you to love.

What would show your family and friends you love them—beyond the typical gifts you've always given them?

Wendy Hamilton is the co-Founder of Inspired Life Ministries, a creative arts freedom ministry. She teaches writing to moms and teen girls through Inspired Moms and Inspired Teens.  She is a songwriter/writer for Valley Creek Church and serves with her husband, Mike, and their kids in a variety of ministry areas across multiple campuses within her church family. Her devotional for moms, 30 Verses to Heal a Mama’s Heart, is available on Amazon.com, Amazon Europe and other online and offline bookstores and retailers. You can find out more at 30Verses.com.