Countering Five Lies about Motherhood

I met Erin Davis at a True Woman conference where she encouraged young women to live for God; but she recently wrote a book about positive, biblical motherhood.

“Why does pinpointing lies about motherhood matter?” Davis asks. “Until we know how we’ve been deceived, we can’t weed out the old lies and replace them with God’s truth.”

Davis continues (an excerpt from Beyond Bath Time) …

Lie #1: Motherhood Is a Roadblock to My Happiness.

Most moms are guilty of thinking that the responsibilities, sacrifices and demands of motherhood are a giant roadblock on the path to their daily happiness. This lie can be traced, in part, to the feministic messages that promised equality in the workplace and at home would make all women happy. Clearly, happiness does not hinge on one life choice, whether it is work, marriage or children.

God’s truth shows us we can choose contentment in all circumstances, and that the frustrations of motherhood are actually blessings if they move us to press on in the power of Christ (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Lie #2: Motherhood Is Defined by the Decision Whether or Not to Work.

Because you are God’s workmanship, He has prepared good works for you to do (Ephesians 2:10). The frustrations of parenting might surprise you, but they don’t surprise Him. He knows mothering is tough, and He thinks you can do it anyway.

We have the choice to see our circumstances as an opportunity to do the important work that God has for us or to dwell on the lie that He could use us more efficiently if we were living a different life. The most important question is, “Will I allow God to use the circumstances of my life and my family to accomplish great things for His kingdom?”

Lie #3: The Ultimate goal of Motherhood is Perfectionism.

The lie that perfection is the goal of mothering—or is even possible—has put many of us in bondage. A part of each of us wants to forget who we are at our core—specifically that we are prone to sin and desperately need God’s grace and help in our hearts and lives (James 3:2; Romans 7:19-20).

We can find great hope when we confront this lie with God’s truth (Philippians 3:12). You cannot mother perfectly. But that should never have been the goal. You can mother with purpose because Christ has promised that where you are weak He is strong.

Lie #4: If You Can’t Stand the Heat, Remodel the Kitchen

Ultimately, this lie has led some mothers to feel justified in walking away from motherhood, choosing to leave their children to chase their dreams. You may not be dreaming of leaving your family, but do you check out in other ways? Do you spend hours online or disengaged or angry in your attempt to cope with motherhood?

God never gives us a permission slip to do whatever it takes to feel good. God’s Word says to do what is right, to rejoice always, to pray continually, to give thanks regardless, to hold on to what is good, to run away from evil, to grab the promise that God is faithful and hold on for dear life (1 Thessalonians 5:15-24).

Lie #5: Motherhood Will Make You Holy.

Being a mom, even a great mom, won’t earn you preferred parking in heaven or automatically deepen your relationship with Christ.  Only God can make you holy (Galatians 2:20-23).

Likewise, no one owes you anything because you’ve chosen to mother. A sense of entitlement can mess with your head and heart. Committing your mothering to the Lord and seeking His purposes as you mother creates a panoramic view of what you’re doing that can move you beyond your sacrifices and help you cope.

Recognize the lies you’ve believed as a mom. Then do the hard work necessary to focus on God’s vision for motherhood.

What lie do you think trips moms up the most?

Erin Davis is passionately committed to sharing God's Truth and is the author of many books, including Beyond Bath Time: Embracing Motherhood As a Sacred Role.

When she’s not writing books, you can find Erin chasing down chickens and children on her small farm in the Midwest.