Fear... or Coffee

The super-talented Joy Elben has always struck me as confident and capable. But I've learned we all have struggles, and in this Gifts and Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, Joy shares how she moved from fears and feelings of inadequacy to using her gifts with confidence in the Lord.

“I would never have told you I was afraid,” Joy says. “In fact, I would have told you the opposite.”

I (Dawn) sense a kindred spirit here. Years ago, I could have written this same post. I'm glad Joy did. So many people hide behind their fears; and Joy encourages us to come out of hiding!

Joy continues . . .

I would have said that I'm bold. I’m adventurous. I pursue my dreams.  

When the reality was, there was a part of me lying dormant.

I hadn't actually forgotten that part; it just wasn't necessary anymore. 

Or was it? 

You see, growing up, I was the girl who was always writing. 

All over.

Everything. 

• My Lisa Frank trapper keeper. 
• My lunch box.
• My brother's lunch box.
• My brother.

The girl who, when the teacher would ask you to put your name in the front flap of each book, I put my name right on the front cover.

In big, BOLD letters. Yep, that was me.

My teachers may not have appreciated that. I may have been the inspiration for the modern book cover.

But letters were art and words were powerful, and I liked the look and sound and feel of the script flowing from my pen to my page. 

My high school English teacher was the first to say it:

"Joy, you have a gift! You need to write." 

I did? I should?

OK!

I devoured every book I could. Every genre, prose and process.

Collecting words as if they were treasures. I was going to take over the world and inspire anyone who would listen with all the eloquence and wisdom of my sixteen-year-old self.

My freshman year of college, there was a campus-wide essay contest and I won.

My professor said,

"Joy, you have a gift. You should write." 

I studied and honed my craft and my family repeated the refrain,

"Joy, you have a gift. You should write."

But then life happened. 

And the voices in my head began to tell me:

• "Joy, maybe you can write, but really, what makes you more interesting than anyone else?"
• "Joy, you're only (insert the age). What makes you think that you have any wisdom to offer?"
• "Joy, you are the pastor's WIFE, and sharing from a platform is his job."
• "Joy, you are surrounded by brilliant writers—let them do the writing."
• "Joy, Joy, Joy ....”

The voices chanted my inadequacy.

And I hid.

I hid behind all of the voices and I did it with the conviction that I was honoring God in the process.

Doesn’t Proverbs warn us time and again to weigh our words? I seemed to have forgotten that it also says, 

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a GOOD WORD makes him glad” (Proverbs 12:25).

Recently, when invited to join a new friend at our local coffee shop, I shared my hesitation and the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and she urged, "Joy, if God has given you a gift, then you need to share your voice and write!"

In the spirit of good conversation, I reciprocated and asked her to share her passion. 

She responded with, "This is my passion."

Wait, what?

"Having coffee."

I was a little baffled. I mean I like a good cup of coffee as much as the next gal, but…huh?

She was a mother and a missionary and a remarkable woman, and her passion was having coffee? 

She explained that for her, sharing coffee meant using her gift of encouragement to create connection and relationship.

Coffee is to her what writing is to me. A mode of connection.

My heart received the message and I knew that I had a choice to make.

I could continue to hide under my own veil of self-doubt and fear of vulnerability,

OR

I could choose to live by faith and write.

So today, I will make the choice to use my words for encouragement and sharing a good word.

What is your passion? Is it writing? Is it coffee? Have you been given a gift that is lying dormant and you hold back because of fear? 

Don’t do it. Don't hide. 

Write, teach, serve, draw, sing—whatever it is for you—and drink coffee, all for the glory of God!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).

Take a moment to examine your heart and ask the Lord to reveal if there is any part of you that He has CREATED FOR MORE.

Listen carefully. 

Respond.

Get EXCITED!

The Lord longs to help you live in the fullness of who He created you to be.

What is your gift? How are you using it for God’s glory?

Joy Elben, born and raised in sunny San Diego, is serving alongside her husband at Forest Home Christian Camps and Conference Center, in the picturesque setting of Ojai, California. She is a pastor's wife, adoptive mom, foster parent, enthusiastic traveler and owner of Joy Elben Design, a home staging and design business.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Engin_Akyurt-Pixabay.

Wrestling the Inferior Interior

Dianne Barker teaches with passion about marriage, parenting, relationships and abundant living; but it was her thoughts about feelings of inferiority that made me think she should share an UPGRADE Your Attitudes post.

"Low self-esteem is a humanity thing," Dianne says.

I guess I've been pretty human most of my life, Dianne; but God has changed that for me. It's all about embracing the truth.

Dianne continues ...

I’ve been “on stage” since my second-grade piano recital. I’ve appeared confident as a journalist and speaker for women’s events. But most of my life I’ve struggled with feelings of inferiority.

Most people wrestle this enemy—the inferior interior. Outward affirmation won’t cure it … career success can’t eradicate it.

We need divine intervention. Our part is to change our thinking.

1. I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. While beating myself up for what I’m not, I read this passage. “You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13-14, NIV). Fearfully and wonderfully made by God himself! Belittling myself condemns his creation.

2. I’m here on purpose. That floods me with hope. While the enemy went overboard bashing, the Lord whispered, “I put you here—on this earth, in this family, in these circumstances—because you have something to contribute.” His Word clarifies we’re created with differences to fulfill specific assignments in the body of Christ. We each have a purpose in his huge plan.

3. I won’t compare my weakness with someone else’s strength. I learned this principle while sitting with a friend after minor surgery. She asked me to get something out of her closet. Opening the door I saw unbelievable organization. Lacking organization skills, I went home and cried.

God spoke. Don’t compare your weakness with someone else’s strength. He brought me to this verse: “Try to have a sane estimate of your capabilities” (Romans 12:3, Phillips). A temperament analysis and spiritual-gifts inventory helped me identify and appreciate my abilities. It isn’t egotistical to have a sane estimate of our capabilities.

4. I do some things well. My sane estimate revealed I’m good at many things. I’d wanted to exchange temperaments, but that would give me a different set of strengths and weaknesses. Nobody got all strengths. God equips us for the work he designs. Our concern is using our strengths for his maximum glory.

5. I’m not competing with anyone for God’s will for my life. During college, my daughter competed in several beauty pageants. One evening she returned from practice discouraged by the amazing talent performances. The Lord’s sweet assurance lifted her despondency. She said, “I’m not competing with anyone for God’s will for my life.” Exactly.

God’s truth seared my inferior interior.

“You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:20, Amplified).

Low esteem insults the Christ who bought us with his own blood.

Consider His opinion of us:

• He knows us by name (Isaiah 43:1).*
• We’re precious in his sight (Isaiah 43:4).
• He loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).
• He delights in us (Psalm 18:19).
• We’re imprinted on his heart (Psalm 136:23 Amplified).
• We’re engraved on the palms of his hands (Isaiah 49:16).
• He cares for sparrows and considers us of greater worth than many sparrows (Matthew 10:29-31).

Are you still worrying about your limitations? Not me!

“On the glorious splendor of Your majesty and on Your wondrous works I will meditate” (Psalm 145:5 Amplified).

Do you struggle with any thoughts of inferiority? Which of the statements about Jesus’ opinion of you can help you defeat the “inferior interior”?

Dianne Barker is a conference speaker, freelance journalist, radio host, and author of eleven books including the 1986 best-seller Twice Pardoned (life of Harold Morris, Focus on the Family Publishing). Her new book, I Don’t Chase the Garbage Truck down the Street in My Bathrobe Anymore! Organizing for the Maximum Life throws a rope to the desperate drowning in disorganization—purging interior garbage (inferiority, low esteem) and submitting fully to Christ. Her articles appear in numerous publications. She and her husband James have two married children and one grandson.

* All linked scriptures are the English Standard Version unless otherwise noted.

Graphic image in text adapted - courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net.