Reach Out to Your Friends

Lane Jordan, a professional life coach, offers helpful counsel for women who want an organized life. In this post, she has good advice for those of us who want to UPGRADE our friendships.

“I am very loyal to my friends, and I want to be there for them as much as possible,” Lane said.

I think most of us want to “be there” for friends … but how?

Lane continues …

Friends are people who also have illnesses, family troubles and hardships. We need to be available to stretch out our hands to them in their need.

If you don’t have the time in your life now to help a friend, then maybe you are doing too much.

What would you change in your life?

1. If friends are sick, be ready to help drive them to the doctor or pick up something for them at the store.

Keep a meal frozen in your freezer so you will have one to give away quickly if a friend is in need. Be willing to babysit their children.

2. Be available to talk to them when they need you, in person or by phone.

Try to stop what you are doing and be sure to listen well. Many times all a friend needs is someone to listen and to care. Have empathy—put yourself in their shoes. Offer encouragement. Don’t nag or argue.

3. E-mail them a short message or a text so they know you care.

This is a way to keep in touch without intruding or bothering them.

4. Accept your friends as they are.

Praise their accomplishments and never be jealous of them. Be forgiving. And if you need to, don’t be afraid to say you’re sorry.

5. Always keep promises and secrets.

A real friend never gossips, is discreet and confidential.

6. Speak words of hope, grace and truth, and demonstrate faith.

A friend also prays for and with her friends and commits to prayer intercession for them.

7. Be there when a friend loses a loved one.

Sometimes we don’t know what to say when our friends are grieving. But a quick visit with a meal, visiting just to be available, sending a card or letter that shares how special their loved one was, and even remembering the birthday of the deceased are extremely helpful and loving gestures.

Grieving is an ongoing process that requires continuing help and support. “Bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2) is a verse we need to remember.

Friends are healthy! Having a community of friends around you will keep you healthier and will give you more joy in your life. Do all you can to cultivate friendships.

Which of these points most encourages you to UPGRADE your friendships … to grow in your relationships?

Lane P. Jordan is an author, national speaker and seminar leader for Christian organizations, a certified professional life coach with the American Association of Christian Counselors, and has served as Associate Producer for the weekly television program “In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley.” Explore her website!

Note: This post is adapted from pages 42-43 in Lane’s book, 12 Steps to Becoming a More Organized Woman. Graphic in text is adapted from photo by Stuart Miles, freedigitalphotos.net.

Dear God, We Need Friends

Janet Thompson, founder of Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry, shared a conversation she had about friendship. When I read it, I asked her to help us Upgrade our Friendships. She shares four ways she expanded her own friendship circles.

Janet wrote:

“ ‘You sure do have a lot of friends!’ a friend exclaimed laughingly.

‘That’s what we prayed for,’ my husband, Dave, and I answered in unison.”

Have you ever prayed for friends? I prayed that same prayer about 10 years ago, and God has answered with an abundance of women I now cherish—valued companions in life and ministry.

Janet continues …

As newlyweds, we asked God to bless us with Christian “couple” friends. God answered that prayer beyond our expectations.

We knew it would be important for us to have a social life comprised of couples who shared our values and beliefs, so we intentionally prayed asking God to bring friends into our married life.

1. Looking For Friends Outside the Box!

Dave and I met in a small-group Bible study, so we had a head start on our quest for friends.

We were also willing to look outside our church home of Saddleback Church, so when I heard about a Marriage Builders class offered at another church, we decided this was perfect preparation for our upcoming marriage. We made more friends, and the pastor who taught Marriage Builders officiated at our wedding.

Then I heard a radio advertisement for a Caribbean cruise with Calvary Church. What a great way to spend our honeymoon—on a cruise with Christian couples. Again, it didn’t matter what church they attended. We were all in the family of God. We had fun being the “newlyweds” on the cruise and came home with a new group of friends.

Dave and I were also intentional about inviting other couples—people we met at the gym, at church, in the grocery store, friends of friends— to join our small-group Bible study. As the group expanded, so did our circle of friends.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).

2. Moving, an Opportunity for New Friends

We bought a mountain cabin, and even though we were “weekenders,” we attended the local church, had couples over for dinner and hosted game nights. Soon people were saying I should run for mayor, because I knew so many people in town.

Then two years ago, we made the major move from Southern California to the mountains of Idaho. I wondered how we would make new friends, but I didn’t wonder for long. Again, we joined the local community church where the members embraced and welcomed us. Soon we had invitations to potlucks, football parties, game nights and social events.

3. Vacation with the Family of God

We decided to celebrate our 20^th anniversary like our honeymoon, with Christian couples on the “Love Song Couples Getaway.” In one week, we made friends from all over the country who have become near and dear to us.

4. Friendships Are Our Witness

As Christians, someone is always watching us and we never know what aspect of our lives is influencing them. In Praying for Your Prodigal Daughter, I tell the story of my daughter, Kim, who was contemplating becoming a Christian and worrying that she might not have any friends.

“Well, you and Dave have so many friends,” she said, “and you’re always having a good time. I guess I don’t need those [unbelieving] friends who won’t accept me.”

Friends enjoying wholesome activities together is a testimony that Christians have fun and fellowship.

It’s important to also befriend nonbelievers, but those we share our lives with should share our morals and our values.

There are potential friends everywhere, so go out and make a new friend!

Where have you found your most cherished friend? Did Janet give you any ideas for where you might cultivate new friendships?

Janet Thompson is an international speaker and an award-winning author of  17 books, including: Dear God, They Say It’s Cancer and Dear God, He’s Home!-A Woman’s Guide to Her Stay-at-Home Man. Janet is the founder of Woman to Woman Mentoring and About His Work Ministries. Visit Janet at womantowomanmentoring.com and connect with her on Facebook or Twitter.

Photo in text, adapted. Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net