Upgrade Your F.I.R.E.

Morgan Farr models her faith in her home, teaching her children the relevance of life in Christ to every part of their lives. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she shares her plan for lighting a fire in their hearts for God.

"Have you ever watched a fire? It seems to have a life all it's own," Morgan says.

Like Morgan, I (Dawn) homeschooled my children for many years. Those were challenging years, but also rewarding. Beyond educating my boys, my main goal was to teach them Christian character. I appreciate Morgan's fresh approach on parenting and education as she says, "Upgrade your F.I.R.E."

Morgan continues . . .

A fire dances, frolics, and bends—depending on how the air around it is moving. Fire can be an incredible force for good or a horrific impetus for evil—depending on who sets the fire and why. 

William Butler Yeats is credited with saying, "Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.”

Allow me to share with you how I use F.I.R.E. to guide my children as individuals. 

First, I AM NOT a parenting expert, psychologist, or pediatrician. I do not hold advanced degrees in education or theology.

WHAT I AM is a follower of Christ listening to the Holy Spirit as I train my children in the way they should go.

I have two boys in first grade, a girl in pre-K, and a girl who is learning to sit up unassisted. When I first started homeschooling—three years ago—I wanted them to be successful and to thrive, so I copied what I knew from school.

I was so focused on “keeping up” that I lost sight of my kids as individuals.

I needed to shift my way of thinking.

After discovering some incredible homeschooling advocates and writers, I was able to grow and learn in my understanding of my children as unique individuals.

I now frame our time using the acronym F.I.R.E.

F — Focus

We all have 24 hours in a day. Are we using that time wisely?

I have found that planning out our week, month, and year help us to be able to make solid choices and free us up.

This means saying no to a lot of good things so that I can say yes to the best things.

I — Ignite

Every fire is started; fires do not just randomly happen. Sometimes they are ignited by lightning, and sometimes by man. But fire has to be brought to life.

Guess who is responsible for lighting a fire in your kids? YOU! 

Obviously a huge part of igniting the fire of faith in your children is reading the Bible. But using other resources like art, literature, and the world around you can also help a lot, especially if you have a visual learner.

In our home we read a LOT of books. We just finished a book on Greek mythology for children. For anyone that doesn’t know, mythology can be really dark. It is all origin stories, cause and effect, and interrelational drama.

Was it a Christian book? Nope.
Did I use it to teach about Christ? You bet!

In every story, we talk about what went right and what went wrong.

• Was the problem caused by misunderstanding or sin?
• If we were in the hero’s position, how could we make a choice that honors God?
• How do you think the villain ended up in the position that he is in?

Teach them to look for God and to follow the Holy Spirit’s lead by talking through problems and situations so that, when the time comes, the fire is already lit and they are ready to shine for Him.

R — Repel

When I say repel, I mean to get rid of anything that distracts from God’s calling.

What music, movies, books, or podcasts are you as a family taking in?

Keep in mind that you are to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:5); and in order to train someone, you have to know how to train yourself.

• Are you telling your teenagers “no porn”—while watching 'Game of Thrones'?
• Are you teaching about being a good steward of your finances—while racking up your Target credit card?
• Do you struggle to have a time in the Word—but you're up to date on the latest Netflix shows?

Study your individual children and learn where they struggle. Let them see you struggle so they know that struggle is normal and victory through Christ is possible.

E — Embark

The last portion of my education motto is Embark. We are not called to develop all this theological knowledge and then sit in our big houses.

Model your faith. Show your children how to use it.

• I have a friend that is a brilliant cellist. She uses her talent to lead worship for the elderly in a nursing home. 
• My friend Rachel has never met a stranger. She uses her extroverted personality to welcome newcomers to the military lifestyle by being a kind and caring friend.
• My sister-in-law is a missionary that uses her incredible sewing skills to teach new missionaries how to make their own clothing in the local style.

What can you do with your children to teach them to use their skills and talents for God?

Is one of your kids really into baseball? What if he offered to coach younger kids for 30 minutes once a week… for free?

Do you have a child that loves to read? What if that child read scripture to an elderly neighbor once a week?

Be creative, but get out and serve God!

Igniting a F.I.R.E. in your children takes work and intentionality.

Parenting doesn’t happen in convenient chunks. It is an all day, every day marathon.

Romans 12: 11 says, “Never let the fire in your heart go out. Keep it alive. Serve the Lord.”

If you are wanting to encourage your children to be like Christ you must be fanning the fire in your own heart and serving God with everything you have. 

Are you on fire for God? How could you help your children to be on fire for the Lord?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. Morgan believes in integrity, authenticity, and grit. Although she writes for many different publications, you can almost always find Morgan’s most recent ramblings on her blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Comfreak at Pixabay.

Photo is of Morgan with her children.

Overcome the Longest Season

Susan K. Stewart has expertise in many areas, and in this Health UPGRADE, she deals with the problem of the "long season" of January 1st until Easter and how it affects so many of us.

“New Year’s Day to Easter is the longest part of the year," Susan says. "It doesn’t matter if Easter is early in March or late in April—it’s long.”

I (Dawn) don't think San Diegans are bothered much by the "long season," but I remember how I felt when I lived back in the Midwest. I remember being a bit depressed every February. Susan explains why that probably happened.

Susan continues . . .

Those were words of wisdom from my credential advisor in college, Dr. Anne Mitchell. Her other pearl was, “Don’t smile until Thanksgiving.”

Dr. Mitchell not only had experience teaching college, but also teaching elementary school. She knew about the ups and downs of classrooms from the front. Truth be told, though, I did catch her smiling once before Thanksgiving.

No matter the educational setting; I’ve found Dr. Mitchell’s maxims to be true. I didn’t understand the comment about the first months of a calendar year until I experienced it in a classroom. Later in our homeschool, the same phenomena held.

Those winter days dragged.

I tried impromptu snowball fights, backwards day, and let’s skip math day. Although these special, often unannounced times were fun in the moment, none relieved the day-to-day SLOG toward spring.

We know the seasons are ever-changing: spring to summer, summer to fall, fall to winter, winter to spring. God tells us in Genesis 8:22, “While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.”

We know the dark days of winter will pass.

A couple of years into homeschooling, I started doing away with the classroom model of teaching. It wasn’t working for our family.

When our school schedule started to revolve more around our family schedule, I found ways to avoid the dragging winter days.

What is it about the winter months that makes them feel so long?

First, although the days are getting longer, they are still dark with clouds, fog, and storms. Even southern areas are darker.

Second, the dark and stormy days mean less sunshine.

God’s creativity is beyond our comprehension. When he created the sun, He provided more than light. He provided what is needed for plants to grow and humans to exist.

Our bodies respond positively to sunlight. Sunlight releases the “feel good” hormone serotonin in the brain.

Conversely, darkness release melatonin, which helps us sleep. Less sunshine, less feel-good juice running through our brains.

Third, we are not as physically active in the winter.

Even in southern states, the days are cold—too cold to be outside. Because we’re indoors, we sit.

Fourth, our sleep cycles can be disrupted.

As the sun goes down our bodies want to produce our sleep juice, melatonin. Instead, we turn on more lights. Our brain doesn’t know what to do, so it either stays awake or it tries to compensate with increased melatonin.

This increase can cause us to be sluggish during the day.

Finally, a result of being indoors is more screen time.

Even though we try to maintain a regular schedule for school, we aren’t coming and going as much. The substitute has become video games or “educational” programming.

Knowing what causes the long time between New Year and Easter helps us to take steps to brighten the days.

How to Overcome the Longest Season

1. Go Ahead and Get Outside.

Unless there’s a dangerous storm or below freezing temperatures, go outside a few minutes every day.

The clouds don’t stop all of the sun rays from getting through.

Some UV rays filter through the clouds allowing us to absorb some. Even though these beneficial rays are absorbed through the skin, even a few minutes on our faces is beneficial.

Watch the time outside as closely as in the summer. Although sunburn may not be a risk, frostbite could.

In areas where the temperatures can be below freezing, open the curtains wide. Allow as much light to come in as possible. Some families also find light therapy helpful as well. Special lamps can be set up to mimic the rays from the sun.

2. Move, Move, Move.

Let the little ones run in the house. Ask older kids to make up some exercises the whole family can do. Plan at least thirty minutes of movement three times a day.

Exercise not only helps release the endorphins to feel better, but the exercise is also good for heart and muscles. Some local gyms have programs for families to exercise together.

Help your homeschool group plan indoor park days with physical activity. Even walking around a museum or shopping mall is better than sitting.

3. Monitor Screen Time—Set Limits.

With online classes, our children are spending several hours each day in front of a screen.

Afterschool activities can include board games, puzzles, and round robin reading. A rousing game of charades is delightful for little ones as well as adults.

If you don’t want to totally turn off computers or TV, set a time limit. Do the same for yourself.

4. Lower Lights in the House as the Evening Comes On.

This will help maintain our natural sleep cycles. Turn off screens at least an hour before bedtime (those are sources of light as well).

Spend time recapping the day, reading a bedtime story, and enjoying bath time rather than rushing to get everyone in bed on time.

Bedtime is a good time to recall God’s word and recite Bible verses.

5. Be Flexible.

Maybe everyone needs to sleep a little longer in the morning.

Unless your child is in a school program that requires online time each day, go ahead and skip regular schooldays.

If one of the kids is struggling with a subject, set it aside for a couple weeks. It’s hard enough during the brighter days of spring, doubly hard when all of us have the winter humdrums.

Don’t slog your way through the long season at the beginning of the new year. Prepare for it, embrace it, and enjoy it.

What will you do today to brighten the winter months?

Susan K. Stewart, Nonfiction Managing Editor with Elk Lake Publishing Inc., teaches, writes, and edits nonfiction. Susan’s passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Her books include Science in the Kitchen, Preschool: At What Cost?, Harried Homeschoolers Handbook, and the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. Her latest book, Donkey Devos: Listening when God speaks, is scheduled to be released spring 2021. You can learn more at her website www.practicalinspirations.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of gamagapix at Pixabay.

3 Tips to Upgrade Your Homeschool Day

Morgan Farr is an amazing young woman with many talents, which she uses to cultivate her ministry and family to better bring glory to God. In this Family UPGRADE, she shares from her practical expertise in homeschooling.

"Homeschooling is one of the most divisive words in parenting," Morgan says. "People had STRONG opinions about it during normal life, but add in the chaos caused by Covid-19 and homeschooling has become polarizing."

I (Dawn) homeschooled my two sons (many years ago); and it was rewarding, but not always easy. I can't imagine homeschooling during a pandemic, but Morgan has some great tips!

Morgan continues . . .

Let me start by saying, I am not going to try to convince you to be pro-homeschooling!

Instead, I want to talk specifically to those who ARE going to be homeschooling for the 2020-2021 school year, and share how to smooth out your homeschool day.

For a little bit of background on me…

• I have three children ages 5 and under, and I am expecting my fourth at the end of September.
• We have been homeschooling since my oldest was two-and-a-half, so I have three years of homeschool experience.
• However, I am also an Army wife stationed over 1,000 miles away from my closest family and often alone in my homeschooling efforts due to the military.

I understand more than most how taxing homeschooling can be!

Here are my TOP THREE TIPS for upgrading your homeschool day.

1. Get Up before Your Kids.

I know this one can be galling to some people. I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination.

However, I get up a minimum of 1 hour before my kids get up. I do this because I noticed that getting up at least 15 minutes before my children do gives me time to get my mind clear, pray, and be fully awake when they get up.

Galatians 5:22-23 lists self-control as one part of the fruit of the Spirit. One source notes: “If we let our desires lead our decisions, our lives (and our bodies) can quickly spin out of control. Self-control is a discipline that God grows in us when we continually choose to die to our flesh and live in Him.”

There are days where I want to just hide under the covers and hope the kids don’t notice, but being disciplined and getting up to spend time with my God BEFORE I spend time with my children helps me to not feel behind before my day has even started.

I know that on the days when I am unable to get up before the children, everyone in the house can feel the difference!

2. Get a "Titus Two Homeschool Mentor."

One of the best things I have in my homeschool is help from what I call my "Titus Two Homeschool Moms."

These women—including my mother-in-law—are where I turn for support, encouragement, and problem solving ideas. I call them Titus Two Homeschool Moms based on Titus 2:3-5 in the Bible:

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

My mother-in-law homeschooled all three of her children from Kindergarten through 12th grade. She differentiated each child’s lessons based on their needs and interests, and she did this in the 90s when homeschooling wasn’t as “normal” as it is today.

She couldn’t just pop on Pinterest and look up handwriting practice sheets when one of her kids needed something extra. She had to research it, find out where it was sold, and purchase it or make it herself.

So when my son started switching between his left and right hand, who did I ask for help?

My mother-in-law.

When I felt like a failure because my other son had difficulty distinguishing between "p," "d," "b," and "q," who did I call?

My mother-in-law.

When my daughter decided school time was when she would throw a massive fit, because she wanted to "do school" but was only 18 months old, who did I ask?

My mother-in-law.

Do you know a family rocking this homeschool gig? Contact the mom and ask her for tips, suggestions, or how to get started. These ladies can be in-person groups, online, or simply text messages.

Homeschool moms are loving and ALWAYS willing to help out a fellow mom.

3. Do the Next Right Thing.

I am going to quote my mother-in-law: "The best thing you can do to smooth out your homeschool day is to make a plan and stick with it."

That way when someone is sick, or the washing machine breaks, or a pandemic happens, you can just do the next right thing on your plan.

For our family, that meant when the 2019-2020 school year ended, we took two days off and then jumped into the 2020-2021 school year since we were still under stay-at-home orders here in Philadelphia.

Sure we could have taken a couple of weeks off, but our thought was that since we couldn’t go anywhere or do anything, we might as well make good use of the time and get ahead.

Then, when things go back to normal—whenever that might be—we can take a bigger break at that time.

For us, the next right thing was to continue school and use the schooling to help provide structure and stability during the pandemic.

Ultimately, homeschooling is HARD WORK. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

If you choose to homeschool, you are going to need support, encouragement, and—in my case—Dr. Pepper!

Find people you can talk to, work with, and learn from. Join online groups, set schedules, and be flexible.

Homeschooling should work for you. That is the best part!

Don’t let it drag you down.

Where can you find support for your homeschool journey?

(If you want tips on where to find support or how to get started, feel free to contact me and I’d be happy to talk with you!)

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to respect her husband, developing her three (soon to be four!) small children, and tackling the homeschool life while moving all over the country. Morgan writes about her transition away from feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of FeelGoodJunkie at Pixabay.