Party Girl Finds Her True Identity

I’ve watched Sharon Paavola grow in recent years. God has transformed her and made her spirit beautiful. In this UPGRADE Uplift, she shares what the Lord did in her life and how He can do the same for each of us.

The words “party girl” crept into my mind with a cloud of regret and depression,” Sharon said.

We all have regrets. I (Dawn) do. The enemy likes to beat us up with them. But God has a word for Christians … actually, two … and they make all the difference. 

In Christ!

Sharon continues . . .

Party Girl. That's how I described most of my life to my psychiatrist. I told him how much I used to drink and date, even after my divorce and on into my forties. I caroused after I married my current husband.

Bad. That's what I thought about myself. Bad.

My coping mechanism, he said, during my immature stage. Where did that come from? Who did I model? I didn’t know anyone in my life that behaved that way. Christians surrounded me. Weren’t these bizarre actions from an innocent girl who knew God, who supposedly knew how to live rightly?

But I didn’t even bat an eye. It seemed natural to me … like I grew up in that environment. I lived a dual life. I acted as a Christian and then as the party girl wherever it suited me.

The chaos created in my mind and soul was so loud I had to keep partying to not hear it.

Then, 20 years ago as I sat in my closet, I finally surrendered all of my life to Christ. I wanted Him to be more than my Savior; I wanted Him to be my Lord. I realized my way had failed me. I wanted to walk His way.

Once I merged into one person, leaving the party girl behind, I found God loved me and wanted to have a relationship with me in spite of who I had been. I grew tired of my poor decisions and changed my life for the better. 

Yet with my new surrender, I was surprised by the agonizing depression that came as I thought about the past and things I couldn't change.

I was so susceptible to spiraling down the trail of old baggage. I felt despair and regret about all the time wasted—the shameful things I did. There had been two of me.

I ached inside thinking about the party girl, completely adrift with no anchor to hold her in place.

I cried for her. I cried over my past.

Abruptly, my doctor said our time had to end. But I wasn’t ready. When I turned my car on, the radio announcer said,

“You are not defined by who you used to be.”

That was the message I needed to hear! Oh, thank you, God!

I felt light again. The burden was gone along with the weighty regret. No longer the Party Girl! I am a “New Creature” in Christ. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I could stop beating myself up. My spirit was free to listen to the transforming truth of God’s gospel and live His plan for my life. 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

I am no longer defined by who I used to be. Now my identity is in Christ alone.

Are you the same person everywhere you go—the same at church and the same at home? How are you holding onto old concepts of yourself and not accepting the new you in Christ?

Sharon Paavola’s passion to speak, write and encourage women is to release them from their past—from depression and pain—so they can move on to hope, freedom and living in the present. Sharon writes a blog that includes book reviews, and she leads a Post Abortion Recovery Ministry. She and her husband, Eric, and two Bichons live in the San Diego, California, area and they have three grown children. Follow Sharon on herblog.

Graphic adapted, StockSnap, created by Luis Llerena.

Our Part: 'Responding'

Although the Christian’s life is transformed by the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit—and we never want to forget that—there are plenty of commands in the scriptures that show our part in responding to the scriptures and Spirit of God.

Here are some things we can do that God can use to UPGRADE our lives spiritually ... but they are also the catalysts to change in many areas of life:

1. Realize Our Need for God. Not only do we need Him for our salvation, we need Him to become holy, effective servants in His kingdom. UPGRADING isn’t about self-effort; it’s about God’s effort in us. Christ will strengthen us (Philippians 4:13), and God is faithful to help us (1 Corinthians 10:13), but we need to respond to Him—yield to Him (Romans 6:1-19) and not try to change independent of Him.

2. Renew Our Mind (Romans 12:2). We do this as we read, study and memorize the Bible. Not only will we discover more about the God who loves us, we will find ways to overcome temptation, find freedom from habits and addictions, and become a success - by God’s definition (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Joshua 1:8; Proverbs 3:5-7; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; Ephesians 6:17; Hebrews 4:12).

3. Respond to the Scriptures. We decide to obey. (I have a "Yes, Lord" reminder card in my Bible.) We create a plan to upgrade our lives based on the scriptures. Devise to do good, not evil (Proverbs 14:22). We are to be steadfast (1 Corinthians 15:58) and obedient (James 1:22-25). We can ask God how to become His disciple with “steadfast purpose” (James 1:5; Luke 14:26-33; Acts 11:23).

4. Repent as God leads. Repentance is changing our mind about sin with determination to stop sinning and live for God (Acts 8:22). God does not want His children to cover up sins and weaknesses. He doesn’t want us to excuse ourselves or blame others. We need true sorrow over sin (2 Corinthians 7:10). God has provided all we need to repent and change. Put off sinful habits and put on new ones (Ephesians 4:22-32).

5. Reach out to others in the Body of Christ. We are in one body, unified in Christ, to encourage and help each other obey, serve and worship God. When we struggle, we can share our need and pray for each other (James 5:16; Galatians 6:2). We attend church to learn more about God, but also to be encouraged and encourage others toward “love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

6. Rely on God for the Changes We Need. This is God-confidence. The Spirit of will empower us to live for the Lord. If we commit to Him, He will accomplish His will in and through us (Psalm 37:5; 2 Corinthians 9:8). We can pray for His help (1 Thessalonians 5:17; 1 Peter 5:7; Philippians 4:6-7), especially when tempted (Matthew 26:36-46). It’s wise to be patient for change (Galatians 6:9; 2 Peter 3:18), and live the Christian life one day at a time (Matthew 6:33-34), giving ourselves grace—because God gives us grace!

Which of these areas of ‘Responding’ is the hardest for you?

Dawn Wilson is the founder of Heart Choices Ministries and creator of UpgradeWithDawn.com. Dawn's ministry encourages, edifies and energizes women with the truth of scripture so they can better enjoy life, bless others and honor God.