Upgrade Your Time with 'Littles'

Morgan Farr has always impressed me with her godly approach to coaching women, but I've also grown to appreciate her parenting skills. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she offers five ways to upgrade time with young children.

"If you hop on to any social media platform at any time of day you will see a TON of posts in the mom-of-littles realm," Morgan says.  

"I recently noticed a disturbing undercurrent of animosity among parents of young children… towards their children."

I (Dawn) know what Morgan says is true. The Bible says children are a heritage and gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3);  but sometimes—fueled by feminism, stresses in the culture or a me-first perspective—atttitudes toward parenting today are often discouraging.

Morgan continues . . .

If you want to see for yourself, check out the hashtag #kidsaretheworst on social media sites. Some of the posts are the silly antics of kids being kids. Other posts are the cries of people that are clearly overwhelmed with kids, and most of the posts are from parents.

These posts make me so incredibly sad, because it doesn’t have to be this way!

I want to share with you how to upgrade your time With "littles" to help avoid feeling like the hashtag is true.

I am not a parenting expert by any means. However, at one point I had three children under the age of three and my husband is active duty military, so most days it was just me and the kids.

The way I not only survived, but thrived, with three under three, was to use the SHRED method.

Upgrade with the S-H-R-E-D Method

1. Structure

Children flourish with routine and structure. Having a plan for your week and a layout for your daily schedule will help a child to know what is coming next.

If that is all too much to take on, start with bedtime. I consider bedtime to be the single most important structure in our day.

The CDC says 3- to 6-year-olds need between 10 and 12 hours of sleep per day! For our family, that means the children go to bed at 6:30pm every single day, with no exceptions.

Does that mean we miss out on some things? Sure, but it also means my kids get a full night’s sleep and that seriously cuts down misbehavior and tantrums.

2. Home

Take a look at the environment you and the kids are in.

Is it messy? Is it cluttered?

I know most adults feel anxious and stressed when they are in an environment like that. How can we expect kids to be calm?

I am not by any means saying that your home has to be spotless. What I mean is, can you tidy things up to create a space that is restful, even if it is just one room.

This is often where people say that they don’t have time to do that, but if you are practicing the structure and putting your kids down, spend 15 minutes doing a quick sweep of the house to get things back in their proper place before you slow down for the night.

3. Read

Reading is an easy way to set the tone for your kids.

Margaret Fuller said, “Today a reader, tomorrow a leader.” If you want your kids to be free thinkers, read to them often.

We have several places during the day where I have scheduled time for reading.

• At breakfast, we read a devotional geared towards science and how God made the Earth.
• In the car on the way to activities, we listen to chapter audiobooks.
• At tea time, we read poetry.
• At dinner time, we read a devotional for kids about the names of God.
• When I do bathtime, I set up the two not being bathed with audiobooks and a toy and they rotate.

Get creative! 

4. Educate

Education is completely different from reading.

Yes, you can become educated by reading, but reading isn’t all there is to education.

Help you kids have curious minds.

• When they ask why seeds grow, sprout some in your window.
• When they ask how electricity works, look up Youtube tutorials.
• When they ask about firemen, schedule a tour of your local fire department.

Inspire them to ask questions and teach them what it looks like to find the answers.

Help them to see God in everything, all around them, by learning about everything that interests them.

5. Diet

Anne Mulcahy said, “Investing in early childhood nutrition is a surefire strategy. The returns are incredibly high.”

Helping your children fuel their bodies well is crucial to helping them be healthy adults physically, mentally and emotionally.

Sugary breakfast cereals set kids up for a sugar crash at mid-morning. Sports drinks, soda, and sugar-filled juice rot children’s teeth and can contribute to dehydration.

Help your children see how important it is to treat their body like the temple that God gave them (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

• Allow your children to help you make healthy food choices.
• Let them help you cook in the kitchen.
• Model for them healthy body image by fueling your own body well.

Are kids a lot to deal with? Absolutely.

Are they worth it? Absolutely.

At the end of the day, you are in charge of the little people you are raising. God gave these little miracles to you.

Raise them to be people that you like and that you would want to be around.

What changes can you make to help you enjoy spending time with your little kids?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learn more about homeschool. Morgan is a homemaker dedicating her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring, and physical training. She writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood at The Forgiven Former Feminist.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Kevin Phillips at Pixabay.

The Treasure of Your Child.

My friend Pam Farrel’s stories about her family have encouraged moms everywhere; and they have encouraged me. This one, a special Upgrade "UPLIFT," reminds us that every child is valuable—a precious creation of God. 

“Ever feel at the end of yourself as a mom?” Pam writes. “Yeah, me too!”

(Oh, I can’t even begin to tell you how many “You’re on my last nerve!” days I had as a young mom. I wish I’d had Pam’s resources back then.)

Pam continues …

One day, our then 8-year-old son Zach came into the house from playing outside with his brothers, Brock and Caleb. His brothers, were in tears. Zach was beating on them again! (Zach had a medical issue and a learning disability and wasn’t very verbal so when frustrated he used his fists.)

 “Zach,” I bent down and whispered intently into his face, “You cannot do this. Hitting is inappropriate. Go upstairs and I will come up to talk to you.”

Zach stomped up the stairs, knocking his brothers over in the process. He slammed the door to his room and threw a baseball at it, knocking a hole through the door as I walked in. I had bounded up the stairs just behind him.

I prayed all the way up the stairs because I had made a commitment to never discipline in anger. But I wasn’t angry. I was scared - scared for my son.

I walked into the room, bent down so I was eye to eye with him and said firmly but calmly, “Zachery, this is inappropriate. I know you are angry. I know you are upset. But you cannot use your fists to show it. You have got to learn to use words to express your feelings.”

(I was thinking in my mind, If you act like this no one will ever marry you and you are going to live with me forever! Use words!)

Zach exploded and yelled back at me, hands on his hips: “You want words? You want words? Then I hate myself and I hate my life and if God made me, I hate Him too!”

I was stood in shocked silence. I simply replied in a whisper, “I’ll be right back.”

I ran to my room in tears. I threw myself across my bed and desperately prayed to God, “Lord, I am a pastor’s wife, Director of Women’s Ministry, I write all these Christian books and I am raising a little atheist upstairs—I need HELP! I am so afraid for Zachery. I don’t know what to do. All I do know is that Psalm 139 says he is “fearfully and wonderfully made” [Psalm 139:13-14].

“I believe that. I believe there is a gift, a treasure, that You place in each and every one of us. But God, Zach is so angry he cannot see the treasure. Help me help him see that treasure!”

Then the idea came. I ran to the office and pulled out a piece of poster board. I drew a treasure map on it and a treasure chest at one end, glued a quarter or two onto the map, and marched myself back upstairs where Zach stood, just as I had left him.

“Zach, here’s the deal. You and I are going to go on an adventure. See, God has placed a treasure, a special unique­ness inside every person. There is a treasure in you, Zach!” (I said by faith!) “You and I and God are going on a treasure hunt to discover that hidden treasure.

“So here’s the plan. I am going to ask you every day to name one thing positive about your day and one thing you think you did well. Then, once a week, you and I are going on a breakfast date and we’re going to talk about what we see God is showing you about the treasure inside you. We’re going to do this for at least six weeks and at the end of that time, I am going to invest money in the treasure God has shown is in you. Zach, you are a special guy. We all love you, and God loves you most of all. Let’s ask God to help us discover your treasure.”

“Zach, what’s one thing pos­itive that happened today? Let’s write it down.”

Zach had a chronic Eyore-like attitude so he said, “It’s hopeless, it’s never going to work.”

I spoke for him, “Honey, you are alive.” (I was holding back my own frustration because I was sarcastically thinking, Yep, you are alive—because I haven’t killed you from sheer frustration, kid! But God miraculously replaced my frustration with compassion.)

I wrapped my arms around that sullen, stiff little body and whispered, “You are God’s treasure!”

Then a miracle happened. Zach started bringing me the treasure map to excitedly list off all the great things he was seeing in himself. At the end of those six weeks, we discovered that relationships were the key to unlocking Zach’s heart, so for years we budgeted funds to send a friend with him to concerts, camps, workshops, etc. so they could grow with God and make good decisions together.

Fast forward, now about 18 years later, and that same son graduated with a Master’s Degree in Exercise Science (with honors) and was hired the day he graduated as a Strength Coach for a Division 1 university. On June 22, 2012, Zach did get married to a beautiful, godly woman who values the treasure of Zach! Miracles happen when you look for the treasure!

Do you see the treasure in your child? Your grandchild? Ask the Lord to give you insight.

Pam Farrel and her husband Bill are international speakers, and authors of more than 38 books including the best-selling 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make. (This is an excerpt from that book.) Many other tools the Farrels used with their children to help them reach their potential are also included the book. Additional free relationship and parenting articles, the Treasure of Your Child Treasure Map, and other books and resources can be found at www.Love-Wise.com.