10 Ways to Make Friends with Foreigners

Though she now lives in Kansas, Gail Goolsby once lived overseas and knows first-hand how to build friendships with people in other countries. In this Relationship UPGRADE, she encourages us to open our heart and home to make friends with foreigners.

“The world is shaken and people are scattered around the globe,” Gail said. “How can we connect as caring Christians with the international immigrants entering our communities?”

I (Dawn) have often heard pastors and evangelists say, “The mission field is coming to our doorstep.” It’s true! We need to know how to connect with those the Lord is bringing to America.

Gail continues . . .

According to Homeland Security statistics, over 560,000 immigrants received permanent U.S. resident status in the first half of 2017, coming mainly from Mexico, India, China, Philippines, Cuba and the Dominican Republic.

Almost 40,000 fleeing refugees were admitted to our shores. The top five countries were Syria, Iraq, Democratic Republic of Congo, Somalia and Burma.

Politicians and military personnel have their own view of global wars and displaced populace seeking safety and a better life. I am no expert, but I know as private citizens we have the chance to impact the lives of some of the most vulnerable and disillusioned people with a heart of love and hospitality.

For those coming from countries closed to Christians, we may well be the first believers they meet. We can have conversation about who Jesus really is and what He can mean in their lives.

I believe God is bringing those close who used to be out of reach for the Good News.

What should be our response?

“When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God” (Leviticus 19:33-34 NIV).

Here are 10 ways to connect with foreign neighbors.  

1. Check with the local resettlement agencies in your area for the needs they have.

Clothes, coats, shoes, furniture and household items are essential to families arriving with great needs and few resources.

2. Educate yourself on a particular people group and culture living in your location.

Find out what foods they eat to make a welcoming meal, and learn greetings in their native language.

3. Develop relationships with shopkeepers, hair stylists, nail technicians, etc., by asking questions and showing interest.

Let them see you as a friendly Christ-follower who is open to spiritual as well as practical conversation in a non-threatening way.

4. Volunteer to be an English tutor or conversation partner.

Local colleges and churches sponsor English classes to help immigrants assimilate quickly. The main qualification is being a native English speaker!

5. Host an international friends group in your home or at a local community center.

Meet regularly with others who have the same interest to help immigrants make new friends while practicing English and learning cultural information.

6. Transport immigrants to work interviews, doctor appointments, shopping trips, etc.

Here is another opportunity to practice English and show care.

7. Invite new friends to your home and share your family.

This is the most influential way to make friends. Hospitality translates through every culture as a sincere connection point.

8. Sponsor an international student from your local university.

Text, call, or take him or her to lunch or coffee regularly to see how things are going and, again, invite into your home for holidays or weekend meals.

Take students on sightseeing outings and show off America.

9. Start a Discovery Bible Study with a small group and invite new international friends.

This is not an academic, pastor-led experience, but rather people reading selected Bible passages, talking together about what is learned, and making personal applications.

10. Bring your international friend to church or other formal study groups if he or she is comfortable.

This is not usually the best first step due to large cultural differences and misunderstandings, especially among Muslim-background friends.

Contemporary religious services can appear irreverent and offensive without thorough preparation and exposure to American culture and Christian ways before attending church.

Women are POWERFUL CONNECTORS!

The women of the world, particularly the Muslim world, are often seen as second-class citizens or worse. That doesn’t mean they are uneducated or even unloved, but typically they are very restricted in the expression of their personhood.

These people are almost unreachable by men.

They are covered, they are absent, and they are culturally not to be in the presence of men outside their family.

We as women have incredible power here, ladies.

We can speak to them, touch them, embrace them, have them in our homes uncovered, visit in their homes, and share as the sisters we really are.

I have special women friends in my hometown from Iran, Jordan, Congo, and Afghanistan. We eat together, share family time, practice English, cook new recipes from our home cultures, explore pumpkin patches, play games, watch movies, and talk for hours about female concerns and interests.

The riches of such relationships give back much more than the cost to me in time or resources. This is my opportunity to make friends with foreigners God has planted in my world at this important time in history.

What foreign neighbors cross your path that you could engage to develop a relationship and share the love of God?

Gail Goolsby, MA, Med is a lifelong educator, including past leadership at an international school in Afghanistan. Gail and her pastor husband of 39 years live where the wind blows over the prairie in south Kansas. She counsels and coaches using God’s Word to help others Learn to Live Well.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of fsHH at Pixabay.

Holiday Hospitality: Reaching Out to Others

Diane Dean most certainly has the gift of hospitality. I asked her to share her heart concerning hospitality during the holidays.

“Hmmmmm,” she said. “I wonder if I have ever entertained an angel.”  (*Don't miss a special story at the end.)

Have you ever wondered that? I pretty much know who comes to my house, but I’ve often wondered if I’ve entertained an angel away from my home.

Diane continues …

Hebrews 13:2-3 says, "Do not forget or neglect or refuse to extend hospitality to strangers [in the brotherhood—being friendly, cordial, and gracious, sharing the comforts of your home and doing your part generously], for through it some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember those who are in prison as if you were their fellow prisoner, and those who are ill-treated, since you also are liable to bodily sufferings" (Amplified Bible).

When our children were young and my husband was a pastor, we would often have various groups in our home throughout the year. One of our favorites was the annual potluck with the "seniors" group from our church. They were called "The Live Wires" for good reason. 

They were a delightful group and we never knew what would happen. The ages ranged from 60 to 90+ years old. As we got to know them, we discovered that several of the women in the group had no relatives. They loved our children and were so appreciative of their attention.

At Christmas, we would bake cookies to take to those widows. We got all dressed up, went to their homes and sang a few carols. After several years, a couple of the ladies ended up in nursing homes. We continued the tradition, taking cookies. They enjoyed sharing their own goodies with the nurses and others who could eat sweets. 

We often found several of the nursing home "guests" sitting in the hallway in wheel chairs. As we walked by, some would reach out to touch our children. We learned that quite a few had no one to visit them so we would try and give a little attention to each.

Through the years, we have also looked for singles or couples who were alone for the holidays.  

We have included them in our family time when possible. Some have not shared our faith, but enjoyed being a part of our celebration and seeing our traditions. It was a pleasure for us.

We can also give to those who are struggling. We have anonymously left gifts on porches and had someone else deliver something to a friend in need. 

Even when we go through difficult times, there is always someone with a greater need. There is a sense of joy in reaching out to others and it gives a sense of gratitude for what we have.

If you invest in others, it can put your circumstances in perspective. Just think, you can make the difference in someone else's life! 

I have always felt that the Lord brings others into our lives for a reason. Our paths don't cross by accident. As you look around at those you know or those in need, consider what you can do to add value to their lives. The results will surprise you! 

Remember, God never made a “nobody,” and He didn't make us to be alone. It isn't always convenient or easy to reach out. It will costs us something in time or money. It will, however, be worth the effort.

Maybe I haven't reached out to an angel, but I hope in my feeble effort I have seen and loved people as God does.

Who are you going to reach out to this holiday season?

* "Once, an older couple called us out of the blue. We did not know them. They came from out of the country and said they were supposed to stay with someone else on the church staff. I don't know who gave them our phone number. The couple on the church staff was out of town on vacation. The visitors didn't have anywhere to stay. We gave them our bedroom for three nights and then they left.

When the church staff couple returned, we told them the story. They didn't know anything about our visitors. My husband Larry and I have always wondered about that visit! Were they angels?"

Diane Dean is a ministry wife, mother, grandmother, Bible teacher, seminar and retreat speaker, and designer for Diane Dean Interiors, LLC. Her blog, Diane's Traditions, is a potpourri of information from her personal experience and she welcomes questions.