Invest in Your Prime Relationships - Part 1

What are your "Prime Relationships"? In this Relationship UPGRADE, Dawn Wilson encourages the kind of "investments" in these relationships that reap powerful results—so it's important to know what they are.

[Note: For a more detailed version of this post with scriptures, see my other blog: Heart Choices Today.]

Investments are not only about money. Investments are akin to watering what you want to grow! We can invest in relationships!

When we invest in someone's life, it likely to cost us something. But investing is wise!

• Someone invested invested in my life this year with her time, helping me with a project.
• Another someone invested in my life using her financial resources.
  
• And another invested encouragement, motivating me to see the big picture when I was so focused on one failing day.

I want to invest in others' lives too, with time, talents, finances, prayers, words, truth ... and so much more. I'm asking the Lord to help me see needs so I can "invest" wisely. How about you?

In this two-part post, I want to share some practical ways we can wisely and faithfully "invest."

These are the first two "investents."

          Investment #1. INVEST in YOUR LORD

Don't forget: this is your prime relationship! 

Jesus said, "...what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?" (Mark 8:36). 

We can store up treasures and yet not be "rich toward God" (Luke 12:21).

1. Know the Lord.

• Examine your heart. Do you really know Him, or just know about Him? 
• Seek Him. Pursue Him. Be intentional. 
• Grow in your intimacy with Him. 

2. Deposit Your Life with the Lord.

• Trust His character. 
• Appreciate His love. 
• Celebrate your security (in Christ). 

3. Seek to Please the Father.

• Yield Your body to Him. 
• Be obedient to Him.
• Follow Jesus' example. 
• Discover how to be like Jesus! 
• Bear good fruit! 
• Love others well. 

4. Cherish His Word.

• Use your Bible. 
• Stand for truth. 

5. Rely on the Holy Spirit.

• Don't Ignore God's Gift. 

          Investment #2. INVEST in  YOURSELF.

Viewed correctly and biblically this isn't selfishness.

If you don't invest in your own health and well-being, how will you find the strength to invest in others?

Loving others as yourself assumes you've learned how to love yourself biblically (Mark 12:30-31). 

1. Take Care of Yourself!

• Nurture your body.
  
• Move your body.
  
• Relax.
  
• Get some sleep .
  

2. "Paint the Barn."

• Maintain the Temple... reflect the beauty of the Lord who created you. 
• Style yourself for a simple, attractive appearance.

3. Expand Your Horizons.

• Discover your strengths and weaknesses ... your spiritual gifts.
  
• Develop some new skills and explore creativity options. 
• Expand your knowledge.
  
• Further your education.
  

4. Plan for Strategic Dreaming!

• Plan to decompress.
• Plan in daily "breaks" to rest and recharge.
  
• Give yourself permission and time to dream. 
• Be a FINANCIAL investor.
  
• Set aside some "dream" money.
  

5. Practice Gratitude.

• Look for things to appreciate. 
• Train yourself to notice God's goodness. 
  
• Be thankful for grace.
  
• Worship in thanksgiving.
  

We'll continue with three more "investments" in the next post. [Note: for a longer version of this post with scriptures, see my other blog: Heart Choices Today.]

Meanwhile, do you need to invest more in your relationship with the Lord, in your own well-being, or in your husband? Which of these tips might help today?

Dawn Wilson,  founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is contracted researcher for Revive Our Hearts. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Taking Care of Yourself as a Leader

Nali Hilderman teaches women in a biblical framework, and in this Leadership UPGRADE she encourages women in leadership to take time to rest and refuel.

“While leadership can be incredibly life-giving and exciting," Nali says, "there are times when it is draining and exhausting too.”

Oh Nali. That is so true. Leadership can be a blessing and a burden at the same time. The Lord calls us to be wise in balancing our schedules—to build our lives, not just the lives of others.

Nali continues . . . 

As a leader, are you weary? If you’re anything like most other leaders, I would venture to say that your answer is yes! 

While leadership can be incredibly life-giving and exciting, there are times when it is draining and exhausting too. It’s the excitement of influencing others and utilizing your gifts that make leadership worth it in the long run, but what do you do when you find yourself in those seasons of weariness?

And how can we work at preventing those seasons? 

It may seem selfish or counter-productive to do this, but Christ, the perfect leader, provided an example of this during His ministry when He left the crowds to spent time with the Father or just the disciples (Luke 4:42, 5:16; John 13). And He encourages us plainly to come to Him when we are tired and weary so He can help us (Matthew 11:28-29)!

Therefore, I want to suggest three ways to take care of yourself as a leader so you can continue to be effective in loving and serving others.

1. Participate in Life-Giving Activities

Most of us have activities that bring us deep joy and provide “soul time” that are not related to our work as leaders. It may be exercise, art, reading, spending time in nature, napping, cooking, taking a bubble bath – or any number of things!

Sometimes our schedules are so busy that we feel like we don’t have time to do anything but what’s already on the calendar, but if we are to continually pour into others throughout our day, we must find time to participate in activities that provide respite for our soul.

I challenge you to discover these areas and set aside time in your calendar to participate in them!

2. Find Others That Pour Into You

As a leader, you are probably constantly pouring into others around you. This is usually very life-giving and one of the main reasons we get involved in leadership in the first place, but, do you have someone pouring into you? Do you have a mentor? Do you have friends, or a small group of people that you do not “lead” that refresh and revitalize you and care for your soul? 

This is absolutely vital as a leader to have others lead and guide you so that you are refueled to lead and guide others. 

Scripture is full of examples of the life-giving nature of the body of Christ. See, for example, the relationship between the Apostle Paul and Timothy as Paul instructs, encourages and mentors the young minister in Ephesus (1 Timothy 1; 2 Timothy 1). I encourage you, likewise, to seek out and spend time with these vital care givers in your life on a regular basis.

3. Find Sustenance from the Lord

For many of us who are leaders in Christian ministry, there’s a tendency to always “do ministry”—even in our personal time with the Lord.

As a leader, it is vital that you protect your time with the Lord as just that – YOUR time with the Lord.

Make sure that you are abiding in Christ for yourself, not your ministry, for apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5). 

And the Word says that if we seek Him and His Kingdom first (Matthew 6:33), then all other things shall be added to us. How is your time alone with Christ? 

How’s your weariness level? How are you doing in taking care of yourself regarding to these three areas? Making sure you take care of yourself is vital to continuing to love and care for others as Christ has commissioned you!

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College and Director of the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology, trying to make sense of how to be a confident, successful Christian woman who does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. She attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, CA.

Graphic of woman in nature, courtesy of Morguefile.

Mom, Don't Forget to Take Care of You!

Melissa Mashburn, a busy pastor's wife, knows the importance of caring for herself so she can be strong to care for others. She shares this Upgrade for moms (with solid truth for all women).

As moms," Melissa says, "we wear many hats, we are a referee, a tutor, a police officer, a maid, a chef, a boo-boo kisser, a nighttime cuddler and also a taxi."

Oh how well I [Dawn] remember those busy days of motherhood. I gave and gave and gave, and it wasn't long before I felt depleted. I needed to step off the motherhood treadmill sometimes!

Melissa continues ...

Yes, we are always on the go and usually with our kids in tow. We manage our households with great care and grace, but when was the last time you actually did anything for yourself ... or better yet, by yourself.

Did you just shake your head and giggle a little? I think you did.

I know you might be thinking, “How on earth can I stop and do something just for for me? Don’t you know how many things there are to do right now?”

Listen mom, I know you’ve been running around getting a ton of things done for everyone else in your family, but do me a favor and don’t forget to take care of you too. The Psalmist said God cares for us:

Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall (Psalm 55:22 NLT).

But it's good for us to cooperate and take care of ourselves too!

You know when you are on a plane getting ready for take off and the flight attendant does the safety instructions? They always say, "In case there is a change in cabin pressure the masks will drop down. You need to place your mask on first before helping children or anyone else."

As a mom, that used to really bother me. But then I realized that if you don't, then you won't be able to help anyone else in an emergency. The same holds true in your everyday, ordinary life.

Taking care of you doesn’t mean you neglect all those other things, it simply means doing things a little differently so that you can enjoy the peace and perspective that comes when you do something just for you.

My kids aren’t little any longer. I learned along the way that I could be a better mom to them by taking care of myself a little in the process. It will take some planning and coordination on your part, but when you do take time for yourelf, you will actually be giving yourself the margin you need when life gets stressful and hectic.

Here’s a few ways you can take care of you:

1. Don’t forget your quiet time - Start your day in prayer, even if it means getting up earlier than you normally do. 

2. Make time for your marriage - Once a month, schedule a "date day" with your husband. Go ahead and hire the babysitter, and block the date on the calendar.

3. Call upon your girlfriends - Schedule some time for you to go get some coffee, lunch, a manicure, or something you can do and enjoy, either alone or with friends.

Get creative on how to make that happen:  babysitting swap with a friend, or even share a babysitter between the two families.

4. Get involved at your church, preferably in a Bible study or a community group. Get connected with other women and/or couples.

Here’s a tip though ... go into it with open hands. Life can get complicated, and even the best laid plans don’t always come together the way we would like them to.

By having your hands open, you release all the stress and pressure to make things “perfect” and allow room for life to happen even in the middle of the change. Rest in God's loving care: You gave me life and showed me your unfailing love. My life was preserved by your care (Job 10:12, NLT).

Making it a priority to take care of you isn’t a selfish thing, it’s not even something that “other moms” get to do. It’s a chance to stop and count your blessings in the midst of being a busy mom.

Go ahead, try it today.

What about you? What’s one way you can take care of you this week?

Melissa Mashburn passionately pursues God daily, taking her ordinary life and placing it as her offering to Him. She is a writer, speaker, mom, pastor’s wife, and trained communicator through CLASSeminars, with extensive background in Women’s and Kid’s Ministry, and her passion is helping women “keep it real” in their lives and ministries. Melissa is married to her best friend, Matt (20 years), and they have two teenage boys. She loves to relax with a great book and giant cup of coffee. You can find her at Mel’s World with Melissa Mashburn.