Do You Have Spiritual Dementia?

Kathy Collard Miller is one wise woman! She's learned that wisdom in the trenches of spiritual growth. In this Spiritual Maturity UPGRADE, she creates a unique application—spiritual dementia—to physical dementia."Larry and I were challenged as we took care of his mother who had Lewy-Body Dementia," Kathy said. "Then I later realized I have spiritual dementia"

I (Dawn) wondered, "What is spiritual dementia? Do I have it? How would I know?" Kathy didn't leave me wondering.

Kathy continues . . .

My 91-year-old mother-in-law, Audrey, had wagged her finger at me, exclaiming,

“You are so mean, Kathy. You dropped me off yesterday several blocks away and I had to walk home in the hot sun.”

I was stunned how to answer. Of course, I hadn't done that, but because of her dementia, she believed it was true. She had a form of dementia called Lewy-Body (www.lbda.org) and with that came paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations.

In that journey of caring for her, Larry and I learned a lot.

To my shock and dismay, I learned I have spiritual dementia.

To some degree EVERY Christian has spiritual dementia.

Here are three primary symptoms.

1. Spiritual Delusions

Audrey had delusions which were very real to her. Nothing Larry and I said ever changed her mind about anything, even obvious proof.

I knew the Lord was speaking to me. I am faced with spiritual truth constantly, and some of it I reject.

I read the Bible and mentally cast away anything that is not within my already-determined belief system . . . or feels like too much of a challenge to obey.

I began to evaluate:

• Am I casting away truth?
• Am I rejecting God’s ideas because I can’t acknowledge I don’t know everything?

Romans 12:2 urges us, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (ESV).

2. Protecting Your Image

Audrey often said, “Someone stole my hearing aids.”

When I found them, she replied, “They put them back.”

Because of her paranoia, Audrey wouldn’t take responsibility because then she would be faced with knowing she is incompetent.

I see myself in her reaction.

My goal is to appear competent, dependable, and efficient. If I can’t answer some biblical question or my answer turns out to be wrong, I try to explain it in different ways. I have a hard time admitting I’m wrong.

3. Taking Things Personally

When Audrey lived in assisted living before coming to live with us, if someone was whispering, they were whispering about her. If someone was upset, they were upset with her. She took everything personally as if it was a reflection of her.

I can be the same way.

When I fixed Audrey's breakfast, she said, “I couldn't eat all the cereal because you put too little milk with it and it got too dry.”

Hearing the accusing word “you” raised defensiveness within me. I thought, “She thinks I always do everything wrong.”

But then I remembered Audrey was raised in the depression and wasting anything was shameful. She was actually saying, “I hope you won't think badly of me because I wasted the cereal. But I couldn't eat it. It’s too dry.”

Knowing the underlying reason helped me be gracious toward her and reminds me to be compassionate toward others.

Maybe it's not all about me but their own struggles.

When the new believers he mentored had problems, the Apostle Paul didn't take it personally.

He wrote,

“. . . Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are from God” (2 Corinthians 1:12 NIV). 

We can trust God knows the truth about us.

Every one of us struggles with spiritual dementia to some degree. God will help you just like he is helping me.

Which symptom of spiritual dementia (if any) do you struggle with?

Kathy Collard Miller has continued to be in awe of God’s ability to use her through writing over 60 books and speaking in 9 foreign countries and over 30 US States. Her newest women’s Bible study book, God’s Heart for Your Marriage (available in print and Kindle), is perfect for individual or group study. Kathy and her husband, Larry, of more than 50 years, are parents, grandparents, and lay counselors, and they live in Boise, Idaho. Visit her at www.KathyCollardMiller.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Benjamin Balazs at Pixabay.

Embrace Light in the Darkness

I first met Sherri Cullison at a writer's conference, and I was instantly drawn to her eagerness to discover all that God had for her life. When I discovered her tragic story, my heart ached. But later I saw how God used even this to shape her and her ministry to others.

In this Hope UPGRADE, she reflects on how God helps us embrace His light, even in our darkest hour.

Sherri says, "The moment I stepped into our living room and found my fourteen-year-old daughter Sarah’s lifeless body on the floor, my world became dark.

When I (Dawn) let that sink in—how I would feel if that were my child and the "darkness" that would suddenly surround me—it takes my breath away. How can a person survive such deep sorrow? Sherri explains it's not a "how"—it's a "Who."

Sherri continues . . .

The room where I watched my three children laugh and play and open Christmas gifts suddenly became a death room.

A heaviness hovered in the air. In my mind, my home was no longer a brightly-lit home of wonderful family times, but a dingy, evil place.

My youngest daughter had made an uncontrollable decision and took her own life.

Instantly I concluded that someone must have done this to her. I was in shock.

I threw my purse across the floor and called for help. Surely this was a mistake, a nightmare I was lost in.

 I called 911 and gave dispatch the information.

“Just stay on the line with me, Mrs. Cullison. Help is on the way,” the dispatcher said.

My tragic circumstance might not be the same as yours today. Maybe you’ve lost the love of your life. Maybe you’re facing serious health issues. Maybe you lost a baby in the womb. Maybe you lost everything you owned and you’re starting over.

Whatever you’re facing today, I want to encourage you that darkness doesn’t have to live in your life forever.

Each day you face doesn’t have to be hopeless for the next.

Even though darkness appeared to envelope me that night I lost my daughter, I was not alone. God brought light into my moment of despair.

On the phone with the dispatcher, I blurted out, “Are you a Christian?”

“Yes,” she quietly responded.

“Can you please pray with me?” I pleaded.

“There is a pastor’s wife here in the room with me and I’ll put her on and she’ll pray with you.”

I can’t remember the words she prayed, but I know it comforted me. Calling on the Lord in a time of devastation wasn’t attributable to me.

I don’t even remember thinking I should pray. The words simply flowed across my lips in desperation and fear.

I remember when I was a little girl lying in my bed at night, I felt very alone in the dark. I was afraid. I was convinced there was danger because I couldn’t see anything around me, even though I had two sisters in the room with me.

I pulled the blankets up around my face and cuddled up to where I felt I was safe.

I was hiding from nothing, but I didn’t know I could ask for help.

Soon my body relaxed, and I fell asleep until the morning light.

Isn’t that what we find ourselves doing sometimes?

When we face a hopeless situation, we feel afraid and panic. We know there must be help somewhere, but how and where do we turn for help?

You may feel you’ll never recover or that nothing in your situation will ever change, but let me encourage you with these three ways we can find light in our darkness.

1. Call on God that Very Moment

Matthew 11:28 (NIV):

"Come to me. all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

Don’t wait. Whether a simple “help me” prayer or an offering of a river of tears, or even an outcry in anger.

If you feel you don’t have the strength, ask someone to pray with you. Not only will it bring instant light from His presence, but He will give you rest.

2. Follow Jesus and Not the Darkness

 John 8:12 (ESV):

". . . I [Jesus] am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Too often we depend on possessions and even others to be our light, but Jesus encourages us to follow Him because there we’ll find the light of our everyday life.

3. Allow the Lord to Light the Lamp of Your Soul.

Psalm 18:28 (ESV):

"For it is you who light my lamp; the Lord my God lightens my darkness."

If your lamplight is no longer lit, please don’t turn away or resist His help. Often it can mean the difference between life and death. 

When we find ourselves in moments of panic and despair and feel surrounded by darkness, we need to remind ourselves that there is hope in the warmth of light’s glow.

God holds tomorrow and He also holds you. His embrace today can help you get through your unknown tomorrows.

When you face darkness in life’s hardships, what are your intentions today to address them tomorrow?

NOTE:  September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. If someone you know is in crisis, contact the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling 988.

Sherri J. Cullison, author and speaker, knows the pain and devastation life brings. Whether your hope is treading or sinking, Sherri’s heart for hope reveals how we can manage our everyday struggles to claim joy and love life.  In her recent book, SOS: A Mother’s Story of Survival, Rescue, and Hope in the Darkness of Teen Suicide, Sherri shares the heartbreaking loss of her daughter and the evidence of God’s healing, forgiveness, and restoration. Sherri and her husband live in Arizona and have two children, seven grandchildren, four pianos, and one RZR. Contact Sherri at www.sherrijcullison.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Joe at Pixabay.

'Jesus, Help Me Love You More!'

In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, Dawn reflects on our love for God—why do we lack in love, what does our Savior think about our love, and what can we do to grow our love?

Have you ever read a story in the Bible, and the Holy Spirit took you down a different path than you ever would have expected—a "rabbit trail" that led to a deeply personal lesson?

That happened to me.

It was while reading the story of Jesus healing a boy who was possessed by an impure spirit (Mark 9:14-29). The boy's desperate father brought the boy to Jesus, saying, "if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

Jesus noted the "if," and then said, "Everything is possible for one who believes."

The father immediately exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

That was quite an admission. The father recognized that he DID have some faith—otherwise he never would have brought his son to Jesus.

But he also had doubts. He needed help from Jesus to go further into faith.

As I read this conversation, I felt a twinge of conviction. But it wasn't about faith. The Holy Spirit zeroed in on the depth of my love for Jesus—or rather, how weak it was.

I cried out to Jesus,  

"Dear Jesus, I do love you. But help my lack of love . . . help me love you more!"

I believed that He would help me with my weak love, just like he helped that desperate father with his weak belief.

Over time, I considered some of the things that hindered that love, and things I could do or change to refresh and grow my love for Jesus.

Four Ways to Grow Your Love for Jesus

1. Remember the Love Jesus Expressed on the Cross.

Jesus said,

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13 NIV).

Jesus loved us so much that He went to the cross to die for our sins and—when we trust in that sacrifice—secure eternity for us in Heaven.  

The Lord's love for us is mysterious and extraordinary, and our love for Him should reflect that.

The Savior chose to love us while we were wretched sinners (Romans 5:8), so unlike Himself, so that He could make us more like Him (2 Corinthians 5:21; 1 John 3:5; Romans 8:29).

When we begin to take that for granted, we become ungrateful for His grace and mercy, and our love for Him cools.

When we remember the cross, it should motivate our love for our Savior.

2. Believe that When Jesus Died, It Was for You, Personally.

It's one thing to believe that Jesus died for the world, but we may forget that, by application, He died for us as individuals—as if we were the only one needing salvation.

The childhood song says it well: "Jesus loves ME, this I know. . . . " The message of the gospel is a love letter to us. We love Him because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

3. Pray for a Deeper Manifestation of His Love.

Jesus cannot love us any more—He demonstrated His love in dying for us (Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:9-10).

But that does not mean that His love cannot be more deeply manifest to us—made more evident or certain, or displayed to make clear or more easily recognized.

We keep the Lord's commands because we love Him; and Jesus said when we keep His commands, He will love us and "show" Himself to us (John 14:21).

Also, His love is made "complete in us" when we love one another (1 John 4:12).

4. Allow Christ's Love to Stir Up Your Own Love.

Just as we warm ourselves by a fire, we can kindle love for Jesus as we sit by the "fire" of His love.

Once that love is kindled, we can encourage it to burn hot through a number of actions.

We can:

• Read and meditate on Jesus and the "law of the Lord" (Psalm 1:2; Hebrews 12:2a).
• Speak about the Lord and help others see Him more clearly—"bring them" to Jesus.
• Be careful not to displease of offend Him—how can we say we love Him when we cherish the sins for which He died, when we place people and things ahead of Him?
• Stand against the Lord's enemies—Matt. 5:43-44 tells us to love our enemies; but realize that we must never compromise with the stated enemies of Christ (cp. Psalm 139:19-21).
• Hate sin (Proverbs 8:13)—and love, respect, and obey God's commands.
• Abide in, live in, Jesus—remembering that Jesus abides with us as we abide in Him (1 John 2:28 ESV; 1 John 3:24; 4:13).
• Pray continually—keep the connection with Jesus "live" and active (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
• Praise and worship Him, remembering that God "inhabits" the praises of His people—He loves to dwell there (Psalm 22:3 KJV).
• Be ready to forsake or lose any lesser things, if need be . . . for Him (Matthew 10:37; Luke 16:13; John 15:19).

So, yes, we trust that Jesus will help us in response to our prayer for deeper love for Him, but there are also many things we can do to improve it ourselves.

Every one of God's children should be growing in love for Him and for His Son, Jesus. If we're not, we need to seriously consider what is standing in the way.

Do you need to pray what I did—"Lord, I love You . . . help me love You more"? Do you see any hindrances to God not answering that prayer?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Radu Florin at Unsplash.

You Have to Finish to 'Finish Well'!

In this Finishing Well UPGRADE, Dawn examines some of the ways we can obey God to finish well, and also why we may not finish projects or accomplish goals.

Many Christians are familiar with the parable of the talents (bags of gold) in Matthew 25:14-30. Jesus told a story about two faithful servants who were good stewards of what they had been given, increasing their master's wealth. Their master praised them, saying (vv. 21 and 23), "Well done, good and faithful servant."

For many years I've heard sermons and conference messages about how wonderful it will be to hear Jesus say that to believers for their stewardship on earth.

But the thought hit me recently, "You have to actually finish in order to 'finish well.'" I'll address that later in this post.

But first, What hinders us from finishing well?

I think the biggest hindrance to our finishing well is a matter of obedience.

When God makes clear to us a command, a responsibility, or some other point of action, we need to obey. My favorite evangelist, Del Fehsenfeld, Jr., said, "Obedience is doing exactly what God says, when He says it, with a happy face."

Obey completely, immediately, and with the right heart attitude.

So why, when God makes it clear He wants us to do something, do we lag behind—or worse, fail to move into action.

In Psalm 119, chapter one, I see at least three ways we fail in our goal of finishing well.

1. We fail to Submit to God's Word (Psalm 119:1-2a, 4)

The psalmist says,

"Blessed (happy) are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD. Blessed are those who keep his statutes . . . You have laid down precepts that are to fully obeyed."

God gives us commands, instructions, and rules guiding behavior. When we are not diligent to submit God and His Word, it will be harder to and keep His laws, statutes, and precepts—the responsibilities He places upon His people.

We can be in utter rebellion against something we read in the Bible, or subtly resisting it.

The devil doesn't care which it is.

Finishing well requires that we yield to the Word of God, and allow the Holy Spirit to use the Word to teach, guide, and correct us.

2. We Fail to Seek God with Our Whole Heart (Psalm 119:2b)

The psalmist tells readers to seek God "with all their heart," not part of it.

Partial, unenthusiastic love leads to partial, unenthusiastic obedience.

Deuteronomy 6:5 exhorts us to love God with ALL our heart, soul, and strength. No room for half-hearted love there.

Loving God extravagantly is how we obey Him "with a happy face."

Perhaps our lack of genuine love for God comes from not recognizing Him as the "first love" of our lives. We forget what it was like to be a new believer and our pledge to follow Jesus anywhere and obey Him in all things.

Truly loving God motivates us to want to obey Him. 

"Love the LORD your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always" (Deuterionomy 11:1).

Finishing well is more than doing all the right things; it is being right with God—in a vital, loving relationship with Him.

3. We Fail to Walk in God's Ways (Psalm 119:3)

The psalmist says of those who are blessed, 

". . . they do no wrong but follow his ways."

Our many sins hinder us from obeying God completely and immediately: selfishness, pride, fear, unbelief, giving in to ungodly peer pressure, love of people rather than God, greed and coventousness, anger, lust, etc.

King Saul disobeyed God because he was "afraid" of what people might say (1 Samuel 15:1-3, 12-29), and it cost him his kingdom. He did not finish well.

Finishing well requires the desire to walk with God in purity, and persistence in keeping short accounts with God concerning our sin.

The Goal is to Obediently, Faithfully Finish!

Certainly God can redirect us to new goals—which might include abandoning old ones.

And some people die before "finishing" their goals; but God weighs our success in terms of obedience and faithfulness to His goals for us.

But here's a practical point to ponder. In a November 22, 2021, motivational podcast "Finish More Goals by Asking 1 Surprising Question," Jon Acuff, author of Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done, said if we are not finishing our goals, we should ask,

"What am I getting out of NOT finishing?"

He explored three possible responses (summarized here):

• By not finishing, we control the outcome.
• By not finishing, we get praise for being a martyr, for being noble.
• By not finishing, we have lowered expectations from others—rather than building up a reputation of faithfulness and success that we have to live up to.

I have seen all three of those responses activated at certain points in my own life. Even worse, sometimes I don't even begin because of fear of failing or fear of others' opinions.

Acuff said,

"If what you gain by not finishing is greater than what you get out of finishing, you'll always be stuck."

If we are going to finish well—especially in the spiritual realm—we need to obediently begin and faithfully finish what God has asked us to do, regardless of our own fears and inadequacies, regardless of others' opinions, and regardless of the consequences.

To summarize, we finish well by loving and submitting to God and His Word, and then walking in His ways—keeping in mind that we can not only hear the Father's "well done," but there are also crowns to be won!

What is keeping you from finishing well? What is keeping you from finishing at all—or even not beginning? What can you do, starting today, to change that?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She works part time at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and they have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Joshua Hoehne at Unsplash.

Colliding with My Destiny from God

Joanie Shawhan's ministry reflects who she is—an optimist, wise, secure in her relationship with God, and reaching out to others in need. In this Discernment UPGRADE, she shares about her health crisis and offers encouraging words for those who wonder how to go forward in their own tough circumstance."A crisis of any kind," Joanie says, "is an unwelcome intrusion upon my very well-orchestrated plans."

Oh, I (Dawn) identify with that! But I also identify with what Joanie discovered: the "intrusion" is often God's "motivation" for fresh and meaningful ministry.

Joanie continues . . .

When I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, little did I know how cancer would change the course of my life. I searched for other survivors. But there were no support groups or Gilda's clubs.

Were there any survivors?

A friend gave me a journal to write about my cancer experience. Eventually, I wrote the book In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer which includes my story and the stories of eleven other women with cancer diagnoses. My hope was that other women would be encouraged by our stories.

But destiny didn't begin with a published book.

A friend invited me to a writing conference where the Lord connected me with other Christian writers and provided a place where I could hone my skills since I had no previous writing experience.

My friend also started a writing group where we critiqued and encouraged one another on our writing journeys.

During this season of writing and learning, I discovered an ovarian cancer camp in Missoula, Montana. There I met other survivors who connected me with the Wisconsin Ovarian Cancer Alliance (WOCA).

Through WOCA, other survivor and I shared our ovarian cancer stories with medical students in a program called Survivors Teaching Students. We hope the students will recognize the symptoms of ovarian cancer so they can diagnose it in the earlier stages.

We also started a local ovarian cancer social group: The Fried Eggs—Sunny-Side Up. We meet monthly, sponsor speakers of interest, and participate in fundraisers.

Writing a book and sharing my story opened doors to radio, television, and podcast interviews. I have also contributed to numerous Christian compilations and devotional books.

I never planned on being an author or speaker.

I never anticipated that a cancer diagnosis would be my collision with God's destiny for me.

Discernment in Our Unexpected Circumstances

How can we discern if our unexpected circumstances are leading us into God's destiny for us?

1. Pray.

When I was told I had cancer, I didn't know what to do. I cried out, God, I need your help.

I'm reminded of Jehoshaphat when he ws surrounded by powerful armies. He prayed, "We do not know what to do, but we are looking to ou for help" (2 Chronicles 20:12 NLT). Jehoshaphat knew only God could help him.

Cancer was too big for me, and only God could help me too.

2. Obey God.

As a nurse, I had watched my patients suffer the devastating side effects of chemotherapy. I vowed I would never take those drugs. But I sensed the Lord telling me, Go through the process. That meant chemotherapy.

I recall the Lord's words to Jehoshaphat,

"Do not be afraid or discouraged. . . for the Lord is with you!" (2 Chronicles 20:17 NLT).

If I had refused to obey God and not go through chemotherapy, I would not have written a book, spoken to medical students, or advocated for the amazing women I've met along this journey.

3. Praise God.

I may have been blindsided by cancer, but God was not. Jesus is still Lord.

Even in the messy middle, Jehoshaphat appointed the singers to go before the army singing, "Give thanks to the Lord; his faithful love endures forever!" (2 Chronicles 20:21 NLT)

Jehoshaphat didn't know how the Lord would bring about the victory, but he believed in God's promises and faithfulness. The battle was too big.

My battle was too big for me too. But God would be faithful to me just like he was for Jehoshaphat.

4. Trust God.

I was helpless to change my situation. I had no idea how God oculd bring anything good out of something so destructive.

As I reflect on the path God chose for me, I see the steppingstones that led me to my destiny. Each step could stand alone, but together they led me along a path to being a published author and an avocate for ovarian cancer survivors.

Like Jehoshaphat, I need to watch how God's plan unfolds. Then I will see how God brings about His purposes and plans for my life.

"God is faithful [He is reliable, trustworthy and ever true to His promise—He can be depended on]" (1 Corinthians 1:9 AMP).

Sometimes it's the unexpected circumstances in our lives that lead us into our destiny in Christ.

"For we are His workmanshipo, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10 NKJV).

In what ways has God used the circumstances of your life to direct you into His plans and purposes?

Joanie Shawhan shares true-life stories, offering her reader an eyewitness view of the action. Her Selah Awards Finalist book, In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, reflects the value of "Your story plus my story become our stories." An ovarian cancer survivor and registered nurse, Joanie speaks to medical students in the Survivors Teaching Students program. She co-founded an ovarian cancer social group: The Fried Eggs—Sunny-Side Up. Publishing credits include: Guideposts Divine Interventions; Snapshots of Hope & Heart; Sage, Salt & Sunshine; Life Repurposed; and We May Be Done But We're Not Finished. Follow Joanie at joanieshawhan.com.

Graphic adapted, from an ad on Amazon for an ovarian cancer decal.