Member of AWSA

  Info about AWSA


[See their Bios on the Partners Page by clicking on the Blogger box, above]


Lina AbuJamra

Sue Badeau

Dianne Barker

Twila Belk

Gail Bones

Harriet Bouchillon

Mary Carver

Jeanne Cesena

Pamela Christian

Lisa Copen

Erin Davis

Diane Dean

Deb DeArmond

Kelly DeChant

Danna Demetre

Melissa Edgington

Debbi Eggleston

Pat Ennis

Morgan Farr

Pam Farrel

Sally Ferguson

Liz Cowen Furman

Gail Goolsby

Sheila Gregoire

Kate Hagen

Doreen Hanna

Holly Hanson

Becky Harling

Debbie Harris

Nali Hilderman

Cathy Horning

Kathy Howard

Mary James

Priscilla Jenson

Lane P. Jordan

Rebecca Jordan

Ellie Kay

Maria Keckler

Sylvia Lange

Debby Lennick

Peggy Leslie

Kathi Lipp

Kolleen Lucariello

Kathi Macias

Paula Marsteller

Melissa Mashburn

Dianne Matthews

Cindi McMenamin

Elaine W. Miller

Kathy Collard Miller

Lynn Mosher

Karen O'Connor

Yvonne Ortega

Arlene Pellicane

Ava Pennington

Laura Petherbridge

Gail Purath

Marcia Ramsland

Kaley Rhea

Rhonda Rhea

Vonda Rhodes

Cynthia Ruchti

Julie Sanders

Judy Scharfenberg

Deedra Scherm

Laurel Shaler

Joanie Shawhan

Stephanie Shott

Poppy Smith

Susan K. Stewart

Stacie Stoelting

Letitia "Tish" Suk

Jill Swanson

Janet Thompson

Janice Thompson

Teri Thompson

Brittany Van Ryn

Elizabeth Van Tassel

Leslie Vernick

Laurie Wallin

Julie Watson

Joan C. Webb

Shonda Savage Whitworth

Cherri Williamson

Kathy C. Willis

Debbie W. Wilson

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

Jamie Wood

And UPGRADE'S Founder

   Dawn Wilson


Entries in Upgrade with Dawn (465)


When Words (Should) Fail You

Kolleen Lucariello's unique personality is a gift from God. She sees life through a different lens than most people. I love how—in this Communication UPGRADE—Kolleen challenges us to choose our words carefully, especially when facing a friend in grief. "As soon as the words began to slip through my lips, I knew," Kolleen said.  

"In my attempt to say the right thing to the father whose 37-year-old daughter had just passed away—I had failed. The tension was immense."

Sometimes I (Dawn) feel like I'm part of a not-so-special "club" of people who say the wrong things or the right things at the wrong time—even when they mean well. Kolleen apparently joined that club. But she's learning how to choose her words wisely and biblically, and she has wise counsel for all of us. 

Kolleen continues . . .

My insides began to twist—as though a crank began to turn—followed by a conversation within my head.

“Kolleen, you need to apologize. Right now. Tell him you are sorry for asking an insensitive question.”

My apology was quick. Overcoming my embarrassment, however, was not. 

Some words are just better left unsaid.

But there have been occasions when words roll off my tongue because of a nervous-need-to-fill-the-silence moment.

Sometimes, they fall out because of an insensitive-I-didn’t-think-first moment. Thankfully, I-don’t-care moments happen less often than they used to. But, in my attempt to offer the right words at that moment I missed the mark.

It’s not always easy to find the right words in the heat of someone’s hard moment.

Just ask Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. They were three of Job’s friends who, in their desire to bring comfort to their friend, discovered their words had backfired.

Once known as the greatest, wealthiest, and most respected man in the east, Job had suffered through great loss (Job 1-2).

He was a changed man when his friends arrived that day. Sorrow and suffering can do that to you.

After hearing of his suffering, the three traveled to mourn with Job and comfort him (Job 2:11). When they arrived, their own grief took over when they found their friend unrecognizable (Job 2:12).

They did what good friends do.

They sat beside Job, and for seven days and seven nights no one said a word (Job 2:13). Silence. It’s a sacred, beautiful thing, but it can also be uncomfortable. Especially for someone who—like me—feels a heavy weight beneath too much silence.

When the sound of silence becomes too loud I, like Job’s friends, find myself speaking words out of uneasiness, rather than thought.  

This is when the “fixer” in me rushes in to save the day, and do away with silence. Let’s find the reason, discover the cause, and then move on to the remedy.

But the words chosen may have a lasting effect on the one with whom I sit—and on me.

When Job broke the silence, and began to speak out of his heartbreak, his friends responded out of their “anxious thoughts” (20:2).

  • Eliphaz wanted Job to understand he was being disciplined for his sin. "Consider the joy of those corrected by God! Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty when you sin" (Job 5:17 NLT).
  • Bildad wanted Job to repent. His “If you…” statements cast blame on the man God described to Satan as blameless (2:3).  “God will not cast away the blameless" (8:20). In other words, “You’re not so blameless after all, are you Job?”
  • Zophar felt Job needed to be rebuked and reminded that God was punishing him far less than he deserved (11:6). Who needs to hear that when surrounded by sorrow and suffering.

     Bring an Upgrade to the Life of Someone Suffering   

1.  Job’s friends did not recognize him in his time of grief.

Job had lost everything but his wife, and he was covered in grief and boils.

You may not recognize your friend in their time of sorrow and suffering. Sit with them amid the silence without trying to fix anything.

2. Job explained his heartbreak.  

“If my misery could be weighed and my troubles be put on the scales, they would outweigh all the sands of the sea. That is why I spoke impulsively” (Job 6:1, NLT).

Friends in the midst of sorrow and suffering may speak impulsively. Grief isn’t always expressed neatly, or nicely. Let them speak without patrolling their every word.

3. Don’t jump to conclusions on why this is happening.

Job said, “Stop assuming my guilt” (6:29).

Before Job entered into this test God described him as "blameless"—a man of complete integrity (Job 1:8).

At the end of the test, each friend had been rebuked by the Lord. Job was the only one God said spoke accurately of Him. In their need to fill the silence with opinion, the friends spoke inaccurate assumptions (Job 42:7).

“One should be kind to a fainting friend, but you accuse me without any fear of the Almighty” (Job 6:14, NLT).

When our friends feel faint because of grief and sorrow, they need our kindness and prayers. Don’t bring accusations, opinions or words to fill the silence.

Find comfort in the silence.  

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of the devotional book, The ABC’s of Who God Says I Am and Co-Executive Director of Activ8Her, Inc. Kolleen and her high school sweetheart, Pat, reside in Central New York. She’s a mother of three married children and Mimi to five incredible grandkids. She desires to help others find their identity in Christ, one letter at a time. Find out more about Kolleen here:

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Serena Wong at Pixabay.


How to Be a Donkey

I'm not surprised Susan Stewart wrote this post. After all, she does care for animals—and I don't mean the human kind! But Susan is also a great teacher, and this Palm Sunday UPGRADE encourages readers to think outside the box and "be a donkey" for the Lord's use.

“Palm Sunday is coming,” Susan says. “A day when Christians around the world commemorate Jesus’s triumphal entry in to Jerusalem. The king entering his earthly kingdom.”

I (Dawn) love Palm Sunday. It's a reminder that another special Sunday is coming! But it also reminds me how fickle a crowd can be when it comes to Jesus.

Susan continues . . .

Oh, the reception He received! The people were ready to be freed from the tyranny of the Roman oppressors.

Many were expecting him to arrive on a horse as the military ruler to overthrow Caesar’s army. Instead they saw a man coming on a donkey … the lowly donkey.


Jesus was coming as a ruler, but not a ruler coming to battle. Horses were a symbol of war. Kings rode horses into battle. Jesus was riding as a ruler coming in peace. Kings rode donkeys in time of peace.

Let’s look a little deeper at this small, young beast.

Eric Davis, a veterinarian from University of California expressed what many of us think, “Donkeys are the least of the least.” Thought of as stupid, stubborn beasts of burden, these animals don’t seem worthy of the task of carrying a king, much less the king of the universe. Certainly not what the Israelites in Jerusalem expected.

The Gospels tell us Jesus sent his disciples into the village of Bethpage to find the animal he was to ride. He knew where this donkey and her colt would be tied up. Jesus was even prepared for the owner to question the disciples about taking them.

When they started to untie the animals, the disciples were questioned. Jesus prepared his friends, “If anyone says to you, ‘Why are you doing this?’ say, ‘The Lord has need of it and will send it back here immediately’” (Mark 11:3). They followed Jesus’s instructions, and the owner let them go (Mark 11:6).

Like me, you may not be surprised the animals were tied up. Here they were waiting for Jesus. After all, although described as the least of the least, the small equines were valuable for work. Their owners didn’t want them to wander off, especially a mother and her colt.

The restraint shows ownership. They needed to be untied to serve him. As instructed, the disciples untied them to take the animals to Jesus.

The poor donkey has a reputation of being stubborn. Often, they will not go where people think they need to go. This is not stubbornness, this is caution. A donkey may refuse to even cross a shadow if it is unfamiliar with the path and thinks there may be danger.

There is no indication this pair resisted. They willingly went. After being untied, they followed the men back to Jesus. Mother donkey didn’t have a sense of danger.

Like most animals in the equine family, donkeys need to be trained for the service they render. Mark indicates Jesus rode the colt. Likely untrained, it didn’t balk at the task it was to perform.

Donkeys can also be loving and trusting of humans they encounter. This colt trusted Jesus and allowed the man on his back.

As Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the donkey, he related to the common people. He didn’t set himself above them with a grand entrance. He rode not just a donkey, but a small young donkey. The king was on a humble creature.

On Palm Sunday we may enter our places of worship to repeat what the people did. We rejoice with songs of hosanna and shouts of praise.

Should we maybe enter in, emulating the donkey?

1. Do we need to be untied?

Each of us desires to serve God. Far too often we are tied up to work, leisure, friends, and so much more the world tells us is important. We also may need to be untied from burdens, guilt, cares, addictions, even devices.

When we allow the Holy Spirit to untie us, we are free to serve.

2. Do we go in peace?

Have you ever argued with God? I have. Surely, Lord, you don’t understand.

When God speaks, I should be listening. Then follow peacefully without question.

3. Do we trust?

The colt would naturally follow the mom donkey. But mom would have been more cautious, even defensive for her child.

She followed. She trusted. She didn’t show any signs of stubbornness.

The colt trusted Jesus. This colt had no training, had never been ridden before. That didn’t keep it from doing the assigned task.

4. Are we humble in our service?

Jesus rode humbly on the donkey. The donkey, the least of the least, was not showy, didn’t stand out from the crowd. This little guy just went about the assigned task.

Ouch. We don’t mean to. We don’t consciously seek attention or accolades. But, let’s be honest, we do like it when we are noticed serving.

While we are rejoicing at the coming of our king ...

Let’s pray:

  • to be “untied” yet free,
  • trusting,
  • peaceful
  • and humble servants as a donkey.

Regarding the mentioned four ways to be like a donkey, which still needs some work in your own life?

Susan K. Stewart—when she’s not tending chickens and donkeys—teaches, writes, and edits non-fiction. Susan’s passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Her books include Science in the Kitchen and Preschool: At What Cost? plus the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. You can learn more at her website

Graphic of donkey adapted, courtesy of Malcolumbus at Pixabay.


Uplift the Military Child and Family

Morgan Farr is a remarkably strong woman, because she knows where her strength lies—in the Lord. In this special UPLIFT, she calls our attention to the special needs of military families, and how we might reach out to help them.

"Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis said,  'If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much.' And You know what?, says Morgan Farr, "I agree with her."

I (Dawn) remember that comment by Mrs. Onassis. It helped me firm up my family priorities, so I'm glad to see Morgan use that quote in such a positive way in this special pro-military-family post.

(Note: April 2019 is the Month of the Military Child.)

Morgan continues . . .

This quote by Mrs. Onassis was on the wall in the military hospital’s obstetrics office where I found out I was expecting our first child.

The quote sat directly above a sign that said, “We chose this. We live this. We can do this."—which is a popular saying among military families.

I remember reading that quote and thinking to myself, how hard could it be?

Well, three children later I can tell you—raising kids in a military family is both incredibly rewarding and incredibly difficult at the same time.

We have been married almost six years and we are about to complete our fourth move. This move will be quite an adventure with a four-year-old boy, a three-year-old boy, a one-year-old girl and an ever-patient pup.

Thinking about that sign and my response makes me chuckle as I wrangle the kids and the dog as my husband is currently TAD—gone for a training event, for all you non Army folks.

The combination of those signs in the doctor’s office has stuck with me throughout our parenting journey for a couple of reasons.

I don’t want to mess up my kids, especially since they didn’t choose this.

My husband was in the military before I met him. I don’t want to say I fully knew what I was getting into as a military spouse, because you cannot know the reality of it until you live it; but I at least had the choice.

My kids didn’t get a choice in this life and yet they take all the challenges in stride. So today, I want to share with you:

How to UpLift Military Children and Families

1. Look at the Reality.

Military life often means that parenting is a solo job. When the servicemember is on staff duty, TDY, or deployed, the other parent has to carry all of the weight, alone.

So when the military wife comes into Sunday School pushing an infant in a stroller, trying to wrestle in a wayward toddler, and get the preschooler to the potty—don’t sigh that she brought her kids. Welcome them.

Mark 9:37 says,  

Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

Offer to go reserve seats for them. Get her a cup of coffee. Distract the toddler. Hold the baby. Smile at them. They need it. 

2. Look for Needs.

When you move to a new place, your household goods almost never arrive at the same time. This means your family often end up sleeping on the floor and eating out until their stuff arrives.

Romans 12:13 says,

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

Offer the new military family your crockpot, your air mattress, or the use of your washing machine.

Tell them which grocery stores have the best produce and which coffee shops are the cleanest. If the husband is TAD or deployed, offer to mow the yard or shovel snow.

Help to meet the tangible needs that military life so often creates.

3. Look for ways to pray.

PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! I cannot stress this one enough.

Shroud this family in prayer constantly.

  • Pray for the servicemember as they are TDY or deployed.
  • Pray for the parent at home keeping the homefires burning.
  • Pray for the children to lean on Jesus when they are lonely, scared or missing their service member. 

Ephesians 6:18 says,

In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.”

With the constant movement, the separations and the unsure future, it is easy for military children and families for fall out of the church and to get left behind.

Pursue them, encourage them, support them, pray for them.

The official flower of the military child is the dandelion. It is carried away by the wind and can bloom in the most unlikely of places.

Military children watch their parent leave for TDYs that can last days, weeks, or months. They endure months long deployments, last minute cancellations, and not being able to hear their parents wish them a happy birthday.

We as a community need to care for these families that sacrifice so much for our nation every single day especially because they didn’t chose this.

God chose them for this life. 

How can you reach out to a military child this week?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd. Currently stationed in San Diego, California, this Army wife is working to better love her husband, develop her three small children, and learning more about homseschooling. Morgan is a homemaker who dedicates her time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring, and physical training. Morgan writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog, The Forgiven Former Feminist. You can find her training programs, nutritional information and meal plans on her blog, Farr Functional Fitness

Graphic of military family adapted, courtesy of—image/id/6174782835#!Reunited.

Graphic of dandelion adapted, courtesy of domeckopol at Pixabay.


Discovering the Courage in DisCOURAGEment

Kathy C. Willis has been a huge encouragement in my life over the past few years, and she even reached out to help my mom and sister in a time of great difficulty. And she does all this from a deep well of courage in facing her own trials. I couldn't wait to get this Attitudes UPGRADE.

Kathy asks, “Do you find yourself in a season of discouragement? Let’s see what we can do to turn this around so you can enter springtime with renewed hope.”

Yes, I (Dawn) need encouragement right now, and maybe you do too. I love her imagery of entering spring with "renewed hope," because sometimes our hope needs a super-boost just to get through another day.

Kathy continues . . .

My personality doesn’t easily get discouraged, but after back-to-back-to-back setbacks, I found myself weary and stuck.

My self-talk leant itself to defeat.

“Why bother? Something outside my control will interfere with my good intentions and cut me short of the goals I believe God has put in my path.”

No, I knew that wasn’t true. If God wanted it done, He’d make sure nothing got in the way. But this messy middle between start and finish was interfering with my usual optimistic energy and drive.

It was time for me to apply the same advice I give others who struggle with discouragement.

1. How Do You Feel?

The first step is to hone in on the actual emotion.

Am I:

  • Disappointed?
  • Depressed?
  • Dismayed?
  • Blue?
  • Hopeless?

2. Create Your "Hit List."

Whatever the emotion, it’s good to evaluate the source of the feeling.

I ask myself questions to isolate the instigator. I call this my HIT LIST, because it’s ways I tend to get hit. Your hit list might be different.

I ask myself:

  • Am I letting what someone else said or did cause me to lose track of my joy and peace?
  • Am I falling into comparison traps?
  • Do I have unrealistic expectations of myself?
  • Does God feel far away?
  • Do I have any health issues or fatigue that is impacting how I feel?
  • Am I in a toxic relationship that drains me or influences me in a negative way?

Once you’ve identified your hit list, it’s time to determine the best steps to move away from discouragement and back into the land of encouragement.

3. Move from Discouragement to Encouragement.

  1. Determine what helped you prior times. What caused the discouragement to diminish or go away?
  2. Practice biblical self-talk. Speak to yourself in a way that aligns with Bible principles and with how God views you. Not how you view yourself or how you think others might view you.
  3. Lean in to God. Focus on His character and attributes. It doesn’t matter so much if you measure up to the “ought to’s.” Instead, it’s all about trusting the holy God, knowing He’s got this!
  4. Hunker into God’s love. Even when you’re discouraged, God wants to be with you. Your Papa God wants to encourage you! “But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus.” (2 Corinthians 7:6 NLT)
  5. Anchor your focus on a Bible verse. Meditate on the meaning of that verse as you go about your day. Let it be a part of you, just like a song sticks with you all day long.
  6. Find a worship song with lyrics that encourage your heart.
  7. Get more sleep, but not too much sleep. (I bought a Fitbit designed to help me evaluate my sleep, so I could see not only how little sleep I get, but that I don’t get enough deep sleep.)
  8. Find a project to be a part of that benefits someone else. It’s difficult for a servant mindset and discouragement to coexist for very long.

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!” (Psalm 42:11 NLT)

Give yourself time.

It takes a while for feelings to catch up to reality, and sometimes our feelings even lie to us.

It’s more important to cling to the truths of God’s Word. These will never let us down.

What will you do to seek encouragement or seek to encourage someone else this week?

God’s Grin Gal, Kathy Carlton Willis, shines the light on what holds you back so you can grow. She’s a speaker and author with over a thousand articles online and in print, as well as her Bible study, Grin with Grace; and she is featured on CBN. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with their new puppy, an adorable Boston Terrier named Hettie.


3 Ways to Dial Down Drama in Your Life

Cindi McMennamin is deeply biblical and winsomely practical, and she speaks truth into women's hungry hearts. In this Attitudes UPGRADE she helps us dial down some drama in our lives.

Cindi says, “There are two types of drama—the drama that life brings (and God allows) and the drama we create by how we respond to life.”

I (Dawn) have experienced both types, and I've found God has truth to counter the enemy's strategies to derail me. It's always wise to "dial down" the drama. Cindi is right on target in this post!

Cindi continues . . .

Whether our drama is the petty stuff (like being gossiped about or having a bad day) or the truly painful stuff (like dealing with a diagnosis or losing someone we love), how we respond makes all the difference—or all the drama—in the world. 

How do you respond if someone addresses you insensitively or is downright rude?

What do you do when you read a Facebook past that upsets you or you find yourself being falsely accused in a text or voice message or directly to your face?

Here are three steps to take to keep your emotions in check. 

1. Take a Breather.

In the heat of the moment, take time to step back, take a deep breath, and reevaluate. This will keep your emotions in check and keep you from flying off at someone.

You’ve heard the expression “sleep on it” when you’re faced with making a difficult decision. That’s great advice when it comes to responding to an accusatory email, an angry phone call, or a social media post that ruffled your feathers.

Studies show that the brain actually processes situations more thoroughly while you sleep so that means you wake up with a fresh—and often less emotional—perspective.

If you’re in a face-to-face encounter, ask to be excused for a few moments to breathe deeply (and therefore lower your heart rate), and collect your thoughts so you can think and respond more clearly.

  • Take a breather,
  • Get some perspective, and
  • Let the extra time cool the heat of your emotions. 

2. Take a Personal Inventory.

In every situation there is a lesson to be learned. And in every accusation there is a seed of truth.

  • A drama-filled woman says, “I must defend myself. I must clear my name. I must straighten this person out.”
  • But a Spirit-filled woman lets God work in her heart by exposing to her any shred of truth in the accusation or any lesson she needs to learn for the molding of her character.

It’s easy for us to want to be loud and proud and prove our point in the heat of the moment.

But when we step out of the battle and ask God to speak truth to our hearts, we are acknowledging that we make mistakes too, and we are willing to learn from the situation how to better respond next time.

This is a way of living out our instructions in James 4:10:

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

3. Take It to God.

I have found that when I am plagued by a situation that could cause drama, it is diffused when I take it to God and sit there with Him in it for awhile.

As I ask Him to help me see the situation more clearly, not only does He show me my part in it, but He also gives me wisdom to know how to respond next. And sometimes, we find a matter isn’t worth pursuing further after we’ve set it at God’s feet.

Also, as we pray about it, God fills our heart with the peace of His presence (Philippians 4:6-7) and we find the drama isn’t so overwhelming after all.

When we take a breather, take a personal inventory, and take it to God we are allowing Him to draw us closer to Himself through the drama so we can emerge from the conflict more Christlike.

Which of these steps do you most need to practice so you can be drama free?  

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author who helps women find strength for the soul. She is the author of fifteen books, including her newest  that releases this month, Drama Free: Finding Peace When Emotions Overwhelm You, upon which this post is based. For more on her ministry, discounts on her books, or free resources to strengthen your walk with God, your marriage, or your parenting, see her website:   

Graphic -