How to Bless Your Mother-in-Law

Deb DeArmond's new book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice, captured my attention. I knew she'd be perfect for this relationship UPGRADE!

“Take my mother-in-law ... please!” garnered laughs for a once-famous comedian," Deb said, "but if you tried to take mine, I’d have to hogtie you, Texas style!"

I (Dawn) call my husband's mom my "Mother-in-Love." She is truly a treasure. I know there are some Mother-in-Law (MIL) / Daughter-in-Law (DIL) relationships that are a constant struggle, but I do believe any relationship can improve if even one of the women is willing to love, be patient, forgive and render blessings. 

So I really appreciate Deb's "blessing" tips for DILs. (Read her book for the other half of the equation!)

Deb continues ...

You heard me. Unhand her. She belongs to me.

The woman who raised the man of my dreams is a gift in my life.

“Wait! Stop!” I hear you cry. “Isn’t that your mother-in-law?”

Yes, indeed. The woman who nurtured a boy into the man of God I’ve loved for 40 years is one of the great gifts I got in this package deal when we married at age 19. When you do the math, she’s been my back-up-mama for 66% of my life.

Who needs two mothers? I did, and I’ll be you do too. Each taught me so much, and each lesson was unique to the woman involved. My mom’s been gone for many years. How good of God to create this bonus plan!

Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and even if you are not as close as my MIL and I, it’s a great time to let her know you appreciate her.

After all, without her, you might have married Ernie. You remember Ernie, don’t you? So let her know you are grateful for the role she played in the life of your man.

Here are a few tips to bless her:

1. Plan a special MIL/DIL day. What would she enjoy? Pedicures and lunch at a favorite spot? A trip to a local public garden? Tea at that cute antiques shop?

Matching her interests with your plans communicates your care and interest in her.

2. Write her a note or card. Handwritten notes, not emails, were the favored way to share heartfelt sentiments among the generations before ours. The surprise of a card in the mailbox is a fun way to let her know she’s special to you.

Whether she lives across town or across the country—everybody loves real mail. And get your kids to sign some “to my Gigi” cards, too. She’ll display them proudly for her friends to see when they visit.

3. Thank her for the special man her son is.

Motherhood sometimes goes unacknowledged—especially for boy mamas. Men may be less aware of the impact Mom had in his life and forget to express their appreciation. She invested her life and energy in raising him—and then had to hand him off when he was just becoming the man she’d envisioned all those years.

Tell her what you appreciate most about him. Be specific about the qualities and characteristics as husband, father and friend she helped build. Share some examples that will make her button-busting proud.

4. Ask for her advice. When you ask someone to share their insights and ideas, you are acknowledging they’ve done a good job.

What tips might she be able to offer you about being a great wife? What suggestions does she have in dealing with your rebellious teenage daughter?

So this year, let your mother-in-law know just how much credit she deserves in your happiness! Someday, if not already, you too will be part of some young woman’s package deal.

Sow the seeds of blessing now.

So, what’s your plan to make this a Mother’s Day she’ll never forget?

Deb DeArmond’s passion is family—not just her own, but the relationships within families in general. Her recent book, Related by Chance, Family by Choice: Transforming the Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships explores tools and tips to building sound relationships between moms and the girls who marry their sons. Deb and her husband, Ron, live in the Fort Worth area. For more about Deb, visit her "Family Matters" site.

Graphic in text, adapted: Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net