Is Overcoming Jealousy Really Possible?

I love how Kathy Collard Miller always goes beyond surface issues to deeper heart motives. In this Attitudes UPGRADE, she deals with the unsavory and distructive attitude of jealousy.

“I don’t understand why I didn’t get that opportunity,” Kathy said. “It’s perfect for me. God made a mistake.”

Have you ever thought that? I (Dawn) have. The ugliness of jealousy has side-tracked me from submitting to God’s will many times. I appreciate Kathy’s wisdom here.

Kathy continues . . .

I really did think God had done me wrong. From my perspective, it was obvious I should have been chosen for the responsibility.

But this wasn’t the first time I’d misjudged God’s plan.

I had to be honest with myself and recognize I had a problem with jealousy.

I wanted what others were given to do. And I wasn’t grateful for the opportunities God gave me.

One time, a friend asked me to participate in an informal survey identifying on a scale of 1 to 10—10 being the most—how much I struggled with jealousy. When I told her 10, she said, “You’re the first person to answer that.”

I was ashamed, but I became motivated to recognize the reasons for my jealousy and ask for God’s power to correct it.

When I read the Lord's perspective, I was motivated:

“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice” (James 3:16 ESV).

Since then I’ve found some truths that have helped me.

1. Jealousy seems to have a good result, but that’s a lie.

Solomon recognized that when he wrote,

“Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man's envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind” (Ecclesiastes 4:4).

On the one hand, it seems jealousy is a good motivator to do better. But it only brings “vanity,” a kind of self-focus which leaves out God. Jealousy is only as profitable as trying to catch the wind. It doesn’t really bring the good results we think.

2. Dealing with jealousy is possible.

God wants every good gift for us (James 1:17). James wrote, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him” (James 1:5 ESV).

God’s love for us is so extreme, He never wants to leave us without His power to respond in a godly way to every challenge.

When my heart becomes disgruntled with jealousy, I remind myself, “Kathy, you are not alone in this battle. God wants to help you.” Then I thank God by faith that He is ready to assist me.

I also don’t depend upon my feelings to judge whether He is being successful. Every feeling may not be destroyed, but God always empowers us to make wise choices.

3. Jealousy is related to arrogance.

I Corinthians 13:4 tells us, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.”

There seems to be some connection between jealousy and arrogance because both are the opposite of love.

Jealousy is fueled by believing we know better than God.

That’s why I thought God had done me wrong. I believed He didn’t know what he was doing. I’ve been immediately repenting of my jealousy by thanking God that He knows everything and what is best.

These three truths began to transform my thinking.

I actually am jealous less often. My thoughts more often are, “If God has chosen that person for what I’d love to do, He knows best for that person and for me. Thank you, Lord, for giving me and her your best gifts.”

It really is possible to be less jealous!

What can create jealousy in you? Which of the truths shared here is most important for your journey to overcome jealousy?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 56 books and her speaking in over 30 states and 9 foreign countries. Her website/blog is www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Kathy’s newest book, co-written with her husband, Larry, is God’s Intriguing Questions: 100 Devotions Revealing God’s Nature and Our Motives. Check out Kathy’s Amazon author page at: https://www.amazon.com/Kathy-Collard-Miller/e/B001KMI10S/

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Robin Higgins at Pixabay.