Draw Close to Jesus through 'Abiding'

Kathy Collard Miller teaches biblical truth in practical, life-motivating ways. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she shares how she has come to "abide" in Christ in fresh ways.

"In John 15:7, Jesus says: 'Abide in me, and I in you.' What is abiding," Kathy asks, "and how do I abide?"

At first, I (Dawn) thought, "Everybody knows that." But do we? Really? How do we know?

Kathy continues . . .

For more than two years, I’ve been specifically meditating on what abiding is and how it can draw me closer to Jesus.

At times I think of abiding as spiritual antennae sticking out of my heart, acknowledging God is there to do His work.

I’ve found four specific ways I’m living it out.

1. Faithful fixing my eyes on Jesus.

Hebrews 12:2 assures us, “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith.”

Jesus is the one who invites us to abide, so we can be confident He wants us to. And whatever He wants for us we can know He’ll provide the means.

We never have to wonder, “Am I supposed to do this?” And the wonderful thing about abiding, is that it’s always appropriate.

It’s a fundamental work that is available for every single minute of our waking day.

2. Steadfast seeking.

Abiding is not a one-time decision, nor something we do and then forget.  

Abiding is seeking God moment by moment, over and over again.

It’s a continuing journey of learning how to abide more and more often.

I never abide every moment, but I don’t have to be afraid God is upset or disappointed.

Philippians 1:6 encourages us saying,

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

The Lord understands every part of Christian growth is a process. Therefore, it’s not an “all or nothing” arrival—that “now I’ll always abide.” No, we learn it more and more.

And we’ll abide more at different times for different reasons. But God is inviting us over and over again to “seek Me again.”

He’s continually taking our spiritual face and gently turning it back to seek Him. It's like a child who won’t look at us; we sometimes take their face gently in our hands and say, “Look at me now.” Their eyes become focused on us and we know they can hear us and more easily understand.

That’s Jesus’ invitation to abide. Seek me again.

3. Accepting ambiguity.

It’s easy to think that if I’m abiding, I’ll know everything, be perfectly guided, and never make a mistake.

No, even as we abide, not everything will be clear.

That doesn’t need to discourage us. Only Jesus did everything right in obedience to His Father. But even then, He had to spend lots of time with His Father.

4. Alert awareness.

Abiding tunes us to the wavelength of the Spirit’s prompting.

Ephesians 6:18 tells us,

“praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.”

Even in the midst of busy daily activities we can abide.

• Through prayer we turn our attention to Him. “Help me, right now, Lord.”
• Through memorization of Scripture. “Lord, Philippians 4:13 tells me you strengthen me, and I believe you’ll do that right now.”
• Through rehearsing God’s faithful loving work in the past. “Father, I remember when you provided what I needed two weeks ago, so I believe you’ll provide now.”
• Through asking, “God, where are you right now in what’s happening? You promise you are everywhere. Open my spiritual eyes to see you working.”

I suggest wearing a rubber band on your wrist.

Each time you look at it, turn your spiritual antennae to:

Fixing on the Lord, Seeking, Accepting  Ambiguity, and Being Alert.

Your ability to abide will grow.

What can you focus on to abide more?

Kathy Collard Miller’s life is filled with the joy of family, writing, and speaking. She has over 50 books published and has spoken in over 30 states and 8 foreign countries. Her latest book is a women’s Bible study Whispers of My Heart: Daughters of the King Bible Study Series. Visit Kathy's website.

Graphic of rubber band, courtesy of mconnor at Morguefile.

Graphic of heart, courtesty of Krzys16 at Pixabay.

Love Your Prodigal ... From a Former Prodigal

What I love about Sharon Paavola is her desire to give hurting women a soft place to land for comfort, encouragement and restoration. This once-wounded woman understands the power of the enemy to keep us shackled. In this Relationships UPGRADE, she offers counsel and encouragement to those with prodigals.

As a Baptist minister’s daughter, I veered from God," Sharon said. "I was drawn to teenage friends who partied. My heart walked the prodigal road and crashed, and landed in ditches along the way."

I (Dawn) watched and prayed for a prodigal for many years and then rejoiced in that prodigal's return. I know the pain that comes during the waiting process. But there are God-honoring things we can do while our heart aches.

Sharon continues . . .

I ignored the warning light on the dashboard until I didn’t see it at all.

I wanted my life my way.

I didn’t know God had a better plan for me. I didn’t trust him. What might be down His road?

My desperate need to be loved, accepted and understood brought heartache, pain and depression.

I depended on bonds with one man after another, alcohol and therapy in search of intimacy, fulfillment and belonging.

My parents prayed daily—aching on the sidelines—wondering what had happened to their third child.

One day I landed so deep in a crater I couldn’t get back out.

I was studying the Bible again (friends had persuaded me), and in a flood of tears I told God He had to take over.

I begged Him to be the Lord of my life.

Twenty years later I can testify His plan is better. His way brings the deep love, understanding, and acceptance through the power of the Holy Spirit my soul wanted.

Do you have a prodigal in your life? Your heart aches. In your despair take hope from the disciples' situation the day after Jesus' death. They had lost their vision, but God had His plan in place. On Easter Sunday, His power raised Jesus.

That same power and hope is yours!

Are you desperate to know what to do? My counsel for you lies in these ABC’s.

A - Abide in Christ yourself moment by moment.

• Listen to His voice in the Bible to believe God is working.
• Be wary of devising your own schemes. That’s what the one you are praying for is doing.
• Ask your prodigal for forgiveness for any past wrongs.

B – Be on your knees in prayer.

• Discover scriptures to pray over your loved one. Speaking God’s Word out loud brings power and destroys Satan’s deceptions.
• Join or start a prodigal prayer group.
• Ask the Lord to send an influential friend to them as He did with me. God is faithful!

"True, some of them were unfaithful; but just because they were unfaithful, does that mean God will be unfaithful?" (Romans 3:3)

"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results" (James 5:16).

"The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent" (2 Peter 3:9).

C – Cast your love upon the one gone away.

• When I married a non-Christian, my relatives conveyed their displeasure. One aunt, despite her feelings, came to my wedding. She brought her family and her love.
• My dad agreed to perform the ceremony. Love came through to my heart!
• Keep those invitations to family and church events sent!

You may never see your beloved live for God. I surrendered to the Lord in my forties.

Relinquish your desire into God’s capable hands. He is the Shepherd who leaves His flock to seek the one who is lost.

Will you trust God to bring your prodigal back to himself?

Sharon Paavola's passion to release people from their past, depression and pain so they can move on to hope, freedom and living in the present drives her to speak, write and encourage whenever possible. She and her husband Eric live in the San Diego, California, area. They have three grown children and a newborn grandson. Sharon blogs about life and book reviews on her website.

Graphic adapted: Image courtesy of Antranias, Pixabay.com.

Stop Pressuring Yourself!

Kathy Collard Miller writes to help women be wise and productive. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she helps us consider the "pressures" in our life from the perspective of God's Word.

“Why does life feel full of pressure?" she said. "There’s so much to do, so much to decide. People expect a lot and every situation seems potentially disastrous.”

Pressure. Stress. I (Dawn) have thought much about this lately, dealing with some personal stressful circumstances. I'm wondering if my thought-processes contribute to the struggle. Does Kathy have a word for me? And you?

Kathy continues . . .

The pressures of life can easily add up and feel overwhelming. Even when we’re seeking God, it’s not easy to replace pressure with peace and joy.

I remember seeing how I added lots of pressure to my life without realizing it. I thought I was following God, but in my cloudy thinking, I was contributing to the pressure.

Of course, there are many ideas for diminishing pressure but here are three ideas I’ve found helpful. I hope one or more help you.

1. Downsize!

My mom taught me, my sister and my brother how to clean our rooms every Saturday. And that included washing the sheets! After I had a family of my own, I still washed our sheets every week, even though I felt mounting pressure because of a husband who worked long hours, two toddlers and trying to serve the Lord.

One day I mentioned to my neighbor Pat about washing the sheets every week. Pat casually said, “Oh really? I wash ours every two weeks.”

Shocked, I replied, “You mean it’s ok to do that?”

I realized in that moment I was pressuring myself to do something that wasn’t needed. As I began to ask myself if there were other pressures I was putting on myself unnecessarily, I found others.

What can you eliminate or do less often that will relieve some pressure?

Jesus’ said to Martha when she was trying to make so many dishes for company: “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary” (Luke 10:41 ESV).

Of course we know He meant sitting at his feet like Mary, but maybe He also meant she could “downsize” the meal to include only one dish!

2. Re-read your journal.

Sometimes I’ll read my journal from a year ago or years ago.

I’m shocked to see that the things I worried about and felt pressured about weren’t really that important—in the end.

I wrote about what terrible things might happen if I didn’t do something just “right.” Or about the long range consequences if I made a mistake.

But without reading my journal, I wouldn’t be able to tell you now about those pressure-making circumstances. At the time, I felt pressured to pray exactly the right thing—as if I could know the future.

God worked things out often without me even knowing how to pray.

Proverbs 3:5 tells us not to lean on our own understanding. I think we can diminish pressure by not expecting ourselves to know exactly how to pray.

Yes, pray! But trust in God’s compassionate grace to know the right way to answer, even if it’s “no.”

3. Abide.

Lately, I’ve concentrated on living in the moment by following Jesus’ command to “abide”: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love” (John 15:9 ESV).

For me, that has looked like being alert to God’s leading moment by moment and trusting His love can cover when I misunderstand.

It has meant believing:  

“God will give me enough time and energy to do what He wants me to do as I seek Him.”

If something doesn’t get done as I expected and I abided in Him, then that’s what He wanted to happen. I don’t have to feel pressured and beat myself up.

Which of those three insights could help you to resist pressuring yourself?

Kathy Collard Miller loves to help women trust God more through her 50 books and her speaking in over 30 states and 8 foreign countries. Kathy recently wrote Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today; and Choices of the Heart (Elk Lake Publishers). Visit Kathy's website/blog.

Graphic from Morguefile.