Entertaining Time Thieves—Part 2

In Part 1 of “Entertaining Time Thieves,” I (Dawn) focused on the massive amount of time we waste. While we need time to relax and be creative, we also need to be more intentional with our use of time during our regular workdays.

Part 2 focuses on two more ways we can stop entertaining time thieves in the new year.

Just as a reminder, the first two points were:

1. Live with an Eternal Perspective, and

2. Choose Activities with Purpose.

These last two points are just as practical and biblical.

3. Guard Time, because It Is Precious.

William Penn once said, "Time is what we want most, but what we use worst." Time is precious. If we do not guard it, time thieves will slip in to steal not just our time, but also our productivity and effectiveness for God and His good plans for our lives.

Guarding our time means we must first determine what matters to us and, more importantly, to God. We need to ask God for wisdom (James 1:5; Proverbs 2:6), and then obey what He says to do.

In our obedience to God, we may need to say "no" to others—or even ourselves.

Before COVID-19 and before my diagnosis, I loved to go shopping. I'm not talking about buying necessities; I'm referring to wasteful shopping. I'd meander up and down aisles, looking for sales, but more often than not, I bought things I didn't need. A jam-packed clothes closet testified to that. I only wore maybe 20% of the clothes in my closet.

A good dose of rational minimalism cured me of the shopping habit, and freed up my time (and money!) for better things.

In time, I found many other areas that stole my time.

Each of us likely needs to say "no" to unnecessary things so we can say "yes" to more things that fit our calling and biblical priorities, especially the priority of spending time with our Creator and with our key relationships (Matthew 6:33; Mark 12:30-31).

As we make our plans, we need to hold them loosely, allowing God to use, re-shape, or replace them according to His will. Truly, our "times"—whatever He allows to come into our lives—are in His hands (Psalm 31:15a). Guard your time. It is precious.

4. Strive for Excellence in All Things.

One key to not wasting time is focusing on a life of excellence. This is not the same as achieving perfection, which we won't accomplish until heaven (and even then, it's all God's doing, not ours).

Excellence is a mindset and approach to life that says we want to improve and do our very best. We don't want to be slackers!

Paul encourages Christ-followers in this regard.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. . . whatever you do, do all to the glory of God . . . . For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen (Colossians 3:23; 1 Corinthians 10:31b; Romans 11:36, ESV).

That sounds like a Christian life lived with excellence to me!

There are many contrasts between people who are time wasters and those who strive for excellence. Here are just three contrasts.

(1) Time wasters are content to get by with less than their best so they'll have more time for endless, worthless pursuits.

Those who strive for excellence desire to discover and do all the things God has planned for them to do (Ephesians 2:10).

(2) Time wasters forget they are accountable to God for how they use time—whether it is used with excellence or with mediocrity.

Those who strive for excellence become more and more conscious that focused use of time matters, especially as we move toward the Lord's return (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8; Mark 13:33).

(3) Time wasters forget they only have a little while to obey God.

Those who strive for excellence know they must work for "the night is coming" when we will no longer serve God on earth (John 9:4). So they are more and more driven to share the gospel, build His Kingdom, and cooperate with the Holy Spirit in becoming more like Jesus.

Is it foolish to focus on wise use of time? Not at all.

The Bible tells us we will receive rewards or "crowns" for our lives of service and sacrifice for Christ. One crown in particular stood out to me as I meditated on the subject of time.

The Crown of Righteousness (2 Timothy 4:8) is for those who long for heaven—for Jesus' return. If we long for heaven, we will want to use our time wisely to please God, because we know we'll see Him soon!

The apostle Paul understood this. He rightly admonishes us in Ephesians 5:15-17 to redeem time:

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity ... do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

Does this focus on time feel like a huge GUILT TRIP to you? Remember, there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1).

But God wants us to grow in our understanding of how to wisely use our time.

(I said in Part 1 that I recognize I'm failing in this area. I've confessed it as sin. I am going to do better as God helps me. A good place to start is a forward-looking strategy for social media use.)

In this new year, my point is this: We ALL can pray for discernment and make better use of our time.

Are you guarding your time and striving for excellence? If not, how can you reclaim your time and invest it for the Lord and His glory? What changes could you make this week to "redeem the time"?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth at Revive Our Hearts, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

 Graphics adapted, courtesy of PhotoMix-Company and Foto-Retusz at Pixabay.

Quarantine, Cameras and Accountability

Kolleen Lucariello—winsome and wise—speaks truth into women's lives while challenging them to live a joy-filled life. In this Accountability UPGRADE, she encourages us to accept responsibility and move closer to our identity in the Lord.Kolleen says, “I realized the COVID-19 crisis was beginning to cause a Kolleen crisis when I detected fear and frustration were expanding through loneliness, boredom and inactivity.”

I (Dawn) have had a few "Dawn crises" over my lifetime, and they usually came when I tried to face tough things alone or make excuses for my failures. Not a good idea, as Kolleen explains.

Kolleen continues . . .

When the quarantine took over daily life, I was invited to join a ZOOM exercise class led by my friend Chrissy’s daughter. Having never experienced a class like this one, and craving interaction with others, I decided to give it a try.

The first class was …well… it wasn’t exactly an attractive display of technique, as I became painfully aware of my lack of ability. 

Truth-be-told, I was a bit intimidated by those in her class who were far more advanced than I. When Chrissy told me she participates with her camera “off,” a great sense of relief washed over me.

When I signed in to the next class, before one stretch began, I turned the camera to “off” and felt the freedom to do my thing.

After a few weeks of participation, I began to recognize a poor pattern had developed in my effort within the class.

While I could see Rachel, the instructor, she could not see me.

I was hidden behind my photo on her screen rather than a live-video feed. There were moments when, while she was encouraging her class to “hold it for just four more counts,” I was allowing excuses to fill my mind for why I was unable to do what she was asking.

I can tell you, every excuse was valid:

• My hands and wrists hurt immensely.
• I am not as fit as I used to be, nor am I as strong as I once was.
• My legs shake.
• My core is weak.
• When she asks me to pull my belly button in, it’s nearly impossible for me to convince my rebellious belly button to surrender itself to my effort.
• The hour I spend in class is difficult.
• It is uncomfortable.
• It also requires effort and a willingness to push through all discomfort. Some days I don’t.

During one particularly arduous class, I laid on the floor for a good portion of the leg workout listening to my body expound on the reasons for its protests. The excuses for its inability to commit to the workout seemed reasonable.

Finally, the discomfort within my body held a greater sway over any disappointment I would feel by quitting.

With my camera off, no one could see what I was—or was not—doing.

As I lay on the floor, listening rather than doing, I became aware of how susceptible we become to old habits and mindsets when accountability is lacking.

Without the accountability of Rachel being able to see me, it became quite easy for me to give a less-than-my-best-effort. She encourages the class to “get lower” or “push through the discomfort,” confirming to us that she understands our legs are shaking and the work is hard, but she’s pushing us to not give up because she recognizes growth, strength and change come through persistent effort.  

With accountability defined by Merriam-Webster as “an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions,” it seems impossible to deny accountability, when used correctly, is a gift to us—prompting change and growth. After all, don’t we have an obligation to accept responsibility for our own actions?

Accountability brings upgrade when we find ourselves willing to allow a trusted friend or mentor to help us see areas in our life where we’ve permitted excuses and blame to keep us from accepting responsibility.

How Does Accountability Help Us?

1. Our faith takes on a new form of growth when we become accountable to one another.

This means we allow someone to see what is behind the camera.

While it is tempting to share only the highlight reel of our lives rather than expose our difficulties, this creates an illusion that “all is well” when in reality, it might not be.

2. Our faith is strengthened when we acknowledge our need to pull from the wisdom God has put within others.

Solomon wrote,

“Though good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out” (Proverbs 20:5 NLT).

When you perceive the wisdom of God in someone—draw it out!

Listen when they say, “I understand your world is shaking right now” or “I know this hard, but you can do it!”

3. Accountability stands guard against the bad habits that continue to haunt us and then shame us, but it requires courage.

Accepting responsibility truly is a gift that moves us closer to our true identity in Christ.

Proverbs 19:20 says,

“Get all the advice and instruction you can, so you will be wise the rest of your life” (NLT).

It’s time for me to turn the camera on! This will allow Rachel to see where I am weak and struggling—right now—but will also allow her to point out where she sees strength and growth.

What about you? Is your camera set to off? Perhaps you’d find more freedom if it was on.

Kolleen Lucariello, #TheABCGirl, is the author of the devotional book, The ABC's of Who God Says I Am; and as a speaker, she speaks into women's lives "one letter at a time." Kolleen and her high school sweetheart, Pat, reside in Central New York. She's a mother of three married children and Mimi to six incredible grandkids. For more information about Kolleen, visit her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of StockSnap at Pixabay.

Smart Women and Financial Choices

Known as "America's Family Financial Expert,"® Ellie Kay walks her own financial talk. She knows the power of following clear  financial principles. In this Financial UPGRADE, she suggests wise tips to help women become more money savvy.

Ellie asks, “Would you like to make smarter decisions when it comes to money matters? Think about the woman who ‘considers a field and buys it: with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard’ (Proverbs 31:16). She’s smart!”

I (Dawn) know the Bible has a wealth of wisdom regarding finances* and Ellie has some great tips to encourage the wisdom process too.

Ellie continues . . .

When I was a young bride, I was overwhelmed in learning how to manage a household. I didn’t even know how to cook and I remember asking my mom how to boil an egg.

She said, “Boil it until it floats.” I had no idea she was joking, and I boiled it for an hour until the water evaporated and the eggs exploded. They never floated.

Today, I have young millennial daughters and daughters-in-law who are learning to manage their own homes, and I developed guidelines that can help them a little more proactively than my mom’s advice helped me.

Here are my top ten tips for women to make better financial choices.

1. Avoid Emotional Spending.

Never shop online or in the store when you are depressed, sad or lonely because you are far more likely to engage in “shopping therapy” and overspend.

2. Show Love through Actions and Not Things.

If you have a love language of gift giving, or if you tend to show love to others by what you buy for them, then you may want to shift your point of view and save your budget in the process.

3. Volunteer Often.

Those people who have the best balance in their financial lives understand how fortunate they are by giving back to their communities.

4. Err On The Side of Generosity.

By following the principle of tithing 10% of your income, you invite God’s blessing upon your money matters and live a more abundant financial life.

If you are going to err, don’t let it be on the side of stinginess, but let it be on the side of generosity.

5. Ask Yourself, "Is This a Need or A Want?"

Most of us do not have unlimited financial resources and for every purchase we make, it’s wise to ask ourselves this question BEFORE we buy.

6. Play the Waiting Game.

In order to avoid impulse buying, when you see something on sale in the mall or online, wait 24 hours to purchase it. This helps you get beyond the impulse to see if it’s something you truly need.

7. Have A Money Buddy.

Accountability is a wonderful thing.

Every woman should have a person who can ask the hard questions about sticking to your budget, paying down consumer debt, or funding a retirement. In community, you are far more likely to keep your financial commitments towards good stewardship.

8. Become a Master Saver.

The Millionaire next door rarely pays full price on anything when they can save money. Read money savings blogs, download apps for coupon codes, and be prepared to compare prices on goods and services.

9. Become Comfortable with Negotiation.

Whether you are negotiating the price of a car or the bid on painting your house, you have to feel it’s the best deal for you.

Tell the other person, "I don’t feel comfortable with that price," and then be quiet. I’ve found that nine out of 10 times, I’ll get a counterbid that is something I feel more comfortable with; and if I don’t, then I feel the freedom to walk away.

10. Pray about Money Matters.

Recent PEW Research indicates that 80% of Americans admit to praying weekly or even daily. Even a financial expert like myself needs to pray to be make wise financial decisions, that people won’t be able to take financial advantage of me and that I’ll be able to find the best provision for my budget.

When in doubt, pray.

Which of these steps do you already practice and which ones can you implement today?

Ellie Kay is the best-selling author of fifteen books including Lean Body, Fat Wallet (with Danna Demetre), and Heroes at Home. She is a Toastmaster Accredited Speaker as well as a popular international speaker and media veteran who has given over1,200 media interviews including appearances on ABC, CNBC, CNN and Fox News. As a popular columnist, she writes for six national magazines and has been a Subject Matter Expert for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Washington Post. Currently, Ellie provides financial education to military members through her “Heroes at Home Financial Event” sponsored for USAA. Ellie is married to LTC Bob Kay and they have seven children.

* Some Key Scriptures about finances: Matthew 6:24-25, 33; Philippians 4:11-13; Luke 12:15; Psalm 37:21; Mark 8:36; Proverbs 15:27; 22:7; 1 Timothy 6:6-10, 17-19; Philippians 4:19; Malachi 3:10; Acts 20:35; 2 Corinthians 9:6-7).

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Luxstorm at Pixabay.

Are You Really Addiction-free?

Surviving and thriving after numerous trials, Yvonne Ortega speaks words of wisdom to women who hurt and struggle. In this "Choices" UPGRADE, she encourages women to break free from their addictions.

Yvonne asks, “When you think about addiction, do you imagine a drunk person, who slurs his words, stumbles, and smells of alcohol? Perhaps you visualize a drug addict in a questionable neighborhood selling family possessions to buy illegal drugs."

Because I (Dawn) have faced few "addictions" of my own—like obsession with food—I know addictions can overwhelm anyone. But I also know from experience: we can break free!

There truly is hope!

Yvonne continues . . .

You may think that if you don’t drink or smoke, you are addiction-free.

• However, you may be addicted to food, such as sugar.

Can you make a meal out of candy, cookies or cake? Do you stop at the store, buy a half-gallon of ice cream, and eat it in one sitting? You may be obese. You eat when you worry, get bored, or can’t cope with grief or some other pain. Rather than talk with a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor, you eat.

Philippians 3:19 addresses this problem and says, “Their god is their stomach” (NIV).

• Perhaps you go shopping to cope.

Your father verbally, physically or sexually abused you as a child. You held in the anger and pain of that abuse, but turned to shopping to cope. Now if someone hurts you, you go shopping.

Until you face that pain, you will stay addicted to shopping. 

• Maybe you’re a slave to perfectionism.

If you invite guests to your home, your house will be in perfect order inside and out. You’ll probably clean the windows too. You’ll serve a homemade meal and wear the perfect outfit and have every hair in place.

Your addiction to perfectionism won’t allow you to relax, enjoy your guests, or life for that matter.

• If you choose unhealthy relationships, you might date an alcoholic, a batterer, or a gambler.

As one woman said, “My boyfriend doesn’t have a job, but he has a motorcycle. He’s exciting.” As she talked about the different men she dated, she said, “My parents never liked any of them, but they were fun—even the one who ruined my credit.”

She was addicted to unhealthy men and wanted to help them. She needed help to improve her self-confidence.

How can you BREAK FREE from addiction?

1. Admit that you use an escape mechanism to avoid reality.

James 5:16 says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

It’s not enough to admit the addiction to yourself.

Do so to a pastor, a Christian counselor, or to a Christian recovery group. Confession and prayer will help you. 

2. Establish accountability.

The devil wants you crippled with guilt, shame, and secrecy.

Psalm 34:5 says, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (NIV).

When you meet weekly with your pastor or counselor, you set up accountability. This is comparable to a sponsor in a 12-step group. 

3. Know who you are in Christ.

Find Bible verses about your identity in Christ, such as Ephesians 2:10 (NIV):

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Each day repeat those verses often.

Once you believe with your heart and soul who you are, the relief from addiction won’t entice you.

What will you do this week to break free from addiction?

Yvonne Ortega is a licensed professional counselor, a bilingual professional speaker, and the author of Moving from Broken to Beautiful® through Forgiveness, Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help You Move Forward (both in paperback, Kindle) and Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer (Kindle), all available at amazon.com/books. She not only survived but thrived after a domestic violence marriage, breast cancer, and the loss of her only child. With honesty and humor, Yvonne uses personal examples and truths of the Bible to help women move from broken to beautiful. Learn more about Yvonne at her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesty of TeeTasse, Pixabay.

Go for Breadth ... and Depth (Part 2)

In my previous UPGRADE post, I (Dawn) encouraging people to remember both breadth and depth in life, and we focused on Breadth.

Once we get the Big Picture--a broader perspective and biblical priorities, we're ready to tackle the details.

CONCEPT #2:

GO for DEPTH!

What does focusing on details include?

1. Appropriate Strategies

• We need to block off some time alone with God in order to think clearly with Him and clarify where we're heading. Spiritual roadmaps help us arrive where we plan to go.
• Envision the goal. For the Christian, a worthy, biblical goal is to become like Jesus (Romans 8:29; 1 John 2:6). So, what is He like? What would He choose? How would He operate? (1 Corinthians 11:1; Ephesians 2:10)
• We might want to prepare ahead of time so we're not tempted or distracted by things that disrail us from our goals. Simply eliminating some options (Romans 13:14) can make the path to success clearer.
• Identify some actionable steps to take right away. Brainstorming with others will help generate creative ideas to move forward. Spiritual success comes step by step, choice by choice.

2. Accountability Stimulation

We have to find what motivates us to stay on target.

• It might be as simple as a weekly check-in or a chart to fill in.
• Or it might be a progress report or an evaluation conducted by someone in charge.
• For others, it's a promised reward!

3. Advocating Supporter

• We can all use a trustworthy "buddy" to bounce our ideas back and forth — hopefully a wise one who can help us recognize foolish thinking.
• We all need people who will encourage us, advise us, even fight for our success (1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24).
• In other words, we need some positive "cheerleaders" in our life.

For example, in the case of my dietary program:

• I have a number of strategies—some supplied by the nutritionist and some created on my own—to help me "stick with the program." I cleaned all the tempting food out of my cabinets and refrigerator and made choosing wisely a simple process.
• For accountability, I have regular meetings with my nutritionist and a worksheet sheet I've filled in that shows the foods I've eaten and the exercise I've done during the week.
• My nutritionist is a wonderful supporter of my efforts, and I have several encouraging "cheerleaders" in my family as well.

It's a process that will work for any Big Picture goals, whether it's tackling a bad habit or pushing toward a personal dream or ministry project.

The process is:

Strategize well - Stay accountable - Seek support!

As a Christ-follower, my best strategies come from God's Word and I am ultimately accountable to Him (Romans 14:12; 2 Corinthians 5:10). Even if no one on earth understands my struggle and comes alongside to cheer me on, I know the Lord is with me, desires my spiritual success and blesses me as I honor Him.

Sometimes we'll see results in the here and now. But when we don't see immediate results or those we seek, we must go back to the Big Picture where we know there will be lasting victories, fruitfulness and reward.

I struggle with a "besetting sin," as do all of us. Although I get small victories here and there and I see clear evidence that the Lord is changing my heart and behavior, I still mess up. I'm still human. I'm still a sinner.

But someday the final victory will come. God's Word tells me so! (1 Corinthians 15:57; Philippians 3:21a)

God the Father is making me like His Son. Having rescued me from sin's power, He is enabling me now to choose not to practice sin, and someday I will be completely transformed and free from even the presence of sin.

So if you are struggling today with your own "I still mess up" problem, consider these two questions:

Do you have the big picture clearly in mind? How can you tweak your strategies, design accountability that will motivate you, or find more support?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is on the board of Network of Evangelical Women in Ministry (NEWIM) and is a contracted researcher for Revive Our Hearts. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.