When Christmas Doesn't Feel 'Christmasy'

Sally Ferguson is wise and caring, and both traits combine to make her a superb encourager. In this Christmas UPGRADE, she reaches out to those who might hurt at Christmas by offering wise counsel from a compassionate heart.“Financial distress. Health scares. Job insecurity. Family discord. When circumstances take you out of your security zone you can feel tossed at sea,” Sally said.

A note from Dawn: As a teenager, I heard the Elvis Presley song "Blue Christmas," and at age 14 I wondered, "Why would anyone not have a happy Christmas?" Fast forward not too many years and I discovered many reasons—both cultural and personal in origin. Sally recognizes that too, and she offers wise counsel to combat "Christmas-time blues."

Sally continues . . .

The "boat ride" we experience caring for my ninety-year-old father can leave us numb, even at Christmas.

I no longer panic when heading to the Emergency Room because hospital stays have become the norm. I just grab Dad’s medication info, a book to read, a bottle of water, snacks, and my phone charger.

Maybe you’ve experienced times of feeling down during the holidays. You try to get in a festive spirit but end up deflated instead.

In fact, there may be more people who can relate than you realize.

In a survey conducted by National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), “Approximately 755 of overall respondents reported that the holidays contribute to feeling sad or dissatisfied and 68% financially strained. 66% have experienced loneliness, 63% too much pressure and 57% unrealistic expectations. 55% found themselves remembering happier times in the past contrasting with the present, while 50% were unable to be with loved ones.”

How can we battle feeling discouraged during a season when we’re supposed to be full of happiness?

Here are some ways I combat the Christmas blues.

1. Enlist help. (Ecclesiastes 4:9)

Decorating, cooking, and cleaning multiply during the holidays. One of the ways we tackle the job of decorating is with a family tree trimming party.

Ornaments go up and cookies get washed down with homemade eggnog.

My sister pitches in with the baking and washing dishes.

Why not treat yourself to an early Christmas present by paying a college student or a grandchild to manage some of the household chores? It’s a win for both when your to-do list gets shortened, and they get some spending money for the holidays.

2. Manage expectations. (Psalm 46:10)

When you think about it, redecorating the house for one month seems ludicrous. I’ve amassed trinkets, wall art, couch pillows, mugs, scented candles, sleigh bells, yard ornaments, and a sundry collection to doll up my house.

At some point, we have to divvy up our treasures to bless others.

And some years, we don’t have to use the entire ensemble to usher in the season. Adjust according to your needs.

Be still and acknowledge God. Allow Him to help you manage your expectations.

3. Make time for fun. (Proverbs 23:4a)

Put aside your list for something you’ll enjoy.

• Drive to a Christmas light display with the grands and say “ooo" and "aah” with each exchange of wow factor.
• Go on a sleigh ride and feel the cold air in your lungs. If you live in a warm climate, take a nighttime boat ride down the canal to see the boats lit up in their finery.
• Watch a favorite Christmas movie and celebrate with popcorn.
• Take a break from shopping with a treat from the coffee shoppe.

Pace yourself! Do not "wear yourself out."

4. Run back to our Abba. (Ephesians 5:29)

We can take great comfort in God’s Word. Scripture is full of reminders that God is for us and God is with us; and our Abba wants us to take care of our bodies.

Maybe you’re cruising along well with the holidays, but do you have a friend who is dragging? What can you do to help? (Proverbs 3:27)

Here are some ways you might encourage your friend:

• Drop in with flowers and tea.
• Include her in your shopping trip.
• Send a verse and a word of encouragement.
• Bring a hug and a listening ear.
• Wrap presents together and listen to carols.
• Bake Christmas cookies together.
• Tackle an item on her list.

Sometimes the best encouragement is an emoji in a text. It lets the person know you’re there and you care.

When you meet another at her point of need, you are an ambassador for the Babe who arrived at Christmas. You're the one who represents Jesus in the flesh—our Emmanuel who cares about every detail we face.

This Christmas, whether you have “all the feels” or not, may you know without a doubt you are important to the One who created you. He loves you so much that His Son died on the cross that you might have a full and abundant life (John 10:10).

Rejoice in this great truth:

“I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2:10-11 NASB).

Which tip to combat the Christmas blues seems doable to you?

Sally Ferguson lives in western New York with her husband, and her dad. She writes to shine hope in darkness and often does so by revealing her own struggles. Sally’s latest article released December 1^st in Michelle Rayburn’s collective, Renewed Christmas Blessings. Visit her website at sallyferguson.net to see other work and to get a copy of her mom’s famous eggnog!

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Larisa Koshkina at Pixabay.