Setting Up a Successful College Transition

An accomplished speaker and writer, Ellie Kay is best known for her financial wisdom and work with Heroes at Home, but in this Financial UPGRADE, she branches out to a topic that’s especially important this time of year for many: high schoolers’ transition to college.

Ellie says, “I believe that every student can be successful in college by following the Do’s and Don’ts of a smooth college transition.”

My (Dawn’s) first granddaughter is entering college this fall, so that’s on my mind a lot these days.

Ellie hits on some points I’ve never considered, both for parents and their college-bound students.

Ellie continues . . .

How can you prepare for a smooth move to college that sets you up for success?

When my daughter was four years old, she came home from a friend’s house sobbing uncontrollably. While comforting her, she blurted out, “I don’t want to go to college!”

Apparently, her friend had an older sister going to college and my daughter couldn’t imagine leaving us. I reassured her that college was a long way away and by the time she left, she was ready.

When parents are preparing their kids for college, I think they may have flashbacks of them as four year olds. It can be hard to send them away.

As a mom of seven, I’ve found there’s some “homework” you can do in the summer to make college transitions more successful.

1. PRIORITIZE key relationships.

DON’T fill up free time with friends at the expense of family. 

• Friends come and go but family is forever.
• Only a small percentage of your friends from high school will still be your BFFs throughout college.
• Less than 2% of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships will last until college graduation.

DO tell your mama (and papa) that you love them.

• Mend fences and build bridges with family members.
• Expect there to be some pre-separation anxiety on both sides—parents and kids—so give each other lots of grace.
• Students, please understand that this is hard on your parents, especially if you are moving away to go to college.
• Parents, understand that this is hard on your child because they are about to do something they’ve never done before.
• Students, take the time now to thank your parents, grandparents, friends, educators and coaches for their help in high school.

2. PLAN Your Finances.

DON’T think that you are too young to budget the money you have.

Luke 14:28 says, “For which of you, intending to build a tower, doesn’t sit down first, and counts the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?” This verse reminds us that it’s important to plan when it comes to our finances. “

• You can set up a spreadsheet to track your money. We like to use mint because multiple people can track finances on the app.
• If your parents give you money for tuition, books, rent or food, then this gives them a right to see how the money is spent, so be prepared to share your budget with your financial sponsors. Their love is unconditional, but their money is an investment in your education and it has conditions.
• Be prepared to work hard and add income to your monthly budget through work-study programs, a part-time job or even an entrepreneurial source of income.

DO be prepared to develop good financial habits that will set you up for success before, during and after college.

• Do listen to fun, upbeat podcasts like The Money Millhouse to learn more about managing your money.
• Parents, you may want to get an additional card on your credit card to help your student build credit. These cards usually allow you to modify the spending limit.
• We added additional cards on American Express and put these under our kids’ social security numbers. They charged preapproved items and then we paid the bill in full (and on time) each month.
• By the time each of our children graduated from college, they had a 750 or higher FICO score which helped with everything from getting a lower rental down payment to paying less on car insurance.

3. PREPARE for Positive Changes.

DON’T make this all about you.

• Parents, don’t create drama before they go or after they’ve gone.
• Moms, don’t sob and cry and tell them you don’t’ know how you’re going to survive without them. Shedding a few tears is OK, but doing what Oprah calls “the ugly cry” isn’t.
• Don’t post a bunch of “poor me-isms” on social media because it distracts your student from focusing on a successful transition to college.

DO keep it positive and focus on faith.

• Do send happy texts, emails, cards, and care packages to your college student, these mean a lot. 
  
• Do tell your student funny stories about a younger sibling or the dog, it will make them feel more connected to home and send pictures of the dog or pet.
• Students, do clean up your social media channels because you never know what can come back to haunt you in college and you don’t want to embarrass yourself or become a target of unwanted attention.  
• Do subscribe to Our Daily Bread and consider joining CRU to connect with others in a safe, faith based community.
• Parents can join Moms in Touch or a Bible Study with parents in a similar situation.

Moving away from home can be hard but I believe that every student can find success by preparing your relationships, finances and faith as you make this journey into adulting.

What can you do today to prepare for success in college tomorrow?

Ellie Kay is the best-selling author of fifteen books including Lean Body, Fat Wallet, and Heroes at Home. She is a Toastmaster Accredited Speaker as well as a popular international speaker and media veteran who has given over 2,000 media interviews including appearances on ABC, CNBC, CNN and Fox News. She writes for six national magazines and has been a Subject Matter Expert for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times and Washington Post. She is the cohost of The Money Millhouse podcast. Currently, Ellie provides financial education to military members through her “Heroes at Home Financial Event” sponsored for USAA. Ellie is married to LTC Bob Kay and they have seven children. 

Graphic adapted, courtesy of YannaZazu at Pixabay.

Shopping to Create Your 'Haven'

Meet Diane Dean:  I met Diane when we attended the same church in San Diego. She is a woman I admire, a multi-gifted woman who honors God. Whether teaching a Bible study or showing women how to create a lovely, inviting home within her budget, Diane knows what she’s talking about.

“In our early years of ministry, we were on a tight budget and I had to be creative as a homemaker,” Diane said. “Friends always asked me for help with their homes. In my mid-thirties I decided to go back to school and study design. I see my business as a ministry. “My mission statement is ‘Making homes a haven to those who live there and a joy to those who visit.’”

Though created to help women work with store sales associates, Diane’s tips, below, are helpful for anyone wanting to UPGRADE her home. [Notes in italics are Dawn’s]

Suggestions for Successful Shopping

1. Consider your budget. This will enable your design consultant to point you in the right direction. Interest-free financing is often an option.

Pretty things shouldn’t cause worry-stress over how you’re going to pay for them; but Diane says, “Budget shouldn’t be an excuse for not having a ‘haven.’ With some planning and creativity, that can happen on any budget.”

2. Make a list of your priorities. Few clients can buy everything at once. Start with your basic requirements and build off of them.

3. Share the priority list with your design consultant. This allows the designer to help you with your master plan.

Even if you don’t have a consultant, you can make a master plan. Pray over and make wise decisions to fit that plan.

4. Measure your space, including doorways, the fireplace hearth and windows. Important: Bring the room measurements with you! If you are buying bar stools, know the height of the counter.

5. Bring fabric samples and paint colors with you. Also bring photos of your room and furniture you want to keep.

6. Cut photos from magazines of rooms that you like. Make notes about each photo and what appeals to you about it. For example - is it the furniture style, the fabrics or the colors? Or is it the flooring and the accessories?

Diane also suggests taking a camera (or cell phone with a camera) and tape measure to consultations and shopping.

“Keep everything in a tote bag in your car and you will always be prepared,” she said.

Diane Dean is a ministry wife, mother, grandmother, Bible teacher, seminar and retreat speaker, and designer for Diane Dean Interiors, LLC (www.dianedeaninteriors.com).

Her blog, www.dianestraditions.blogspot.com, is a potpourri of information from her personal experience and she welcomes questions.