Perfect Instructions - Oh, to Remember These!

Rhonda Rhea--she's a quirky, sunshiny sweetheart in the Body of Christ, with a heart to honor her Lord. In this short Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she writes about "instructions" we need to heed.

"It’s really funny when I read the directions on the brownie mix box and then throw it away," Rhonda says. "Like I somehow think I won’t have to dig it out of the trash five minutes later. Or also dig it out eight more times after that."

Oh, Rhonda. You keep me (Dawn) in stitches. How is it you always manage to take everyday situations and turn them into stand-up comedy?

With stand up truth!

Rhonda continues . . .

Sometimes I totally forget how to boil brownies.

Not that there’s a lot of ADD at work here or anything, but I was looking up the symptoms for ADD the other day and ended up watching puppy videos on Facebook for 45 minutes.

• Take one large portion of forgetfulness.
• Fold in equal measurements of all the attention deficits.
• Then add a generous sprinkling of puppies.

What do you get? Well it’s not brownies, I’ll tell you that right now.

One time I was in a meeting with an editor and suddenly noticed that when I polished my nails, I totally missed one. Nine painted nails. What, I forgot how many fingers I have?

So I was supposed to convince an editor that I could responsibly finish an entire book when I couldn’t even manage to polish all ten fingernails.

FOCUS, Girl!

My focus will probably always come and go. And then probably go.

But I don’t want to be any kind of forgetful, distracted or careless when it comes to God’s message for me.

In Christian circles, we speak often about reading God’s Word. Why do you suppose we make such a big deal about the Bible?

Probably the biggest reason is that whatever measure of attention we give the Word of God, by that measure we’ll grow.

 No attention, no growth.

And simply reading the Bible is not really the goal. It’s not about ritual. The goal is to know God. It’s to open His Book—His personal message to us—and to meet with Him there.

The Father’s is a message that makes sense of life. A message that grows us. And even more, a message that completes us.

When Paul wrote that “All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness,” he also wrote about what all the training is for:  “so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work,” (2 Timothy 3:16-17 HCSB).

Anytime we’re feeling a bit disconnected or directionless—a bit “incomplete”—it’s important to examine how focused we are on communing with the Father through His Word.

It’s time to dig those instructions right back out.

The word “complete” in 2 Timothy 3:17 is from the Greek word “artios.” It’s a math concept that implies that nothing else needs to be added to make it whole. All-inclusively, perfectly polished.

If your desire is to be “artios,” start with His Word.

When you boil it all down, isn’t that desire to be whole—to have a deep and meaningful relationship with our Creator—what we all want in life? It’s exactly what we were made for. Without that complete connection, life will always seem a bit... off. Not quite right.

May we ever wisely trade that “not-quite-right-ness” for the completeness we find in our Creator and in connecting with Him through His Word.

And on other topics of “not-quite-right-ness,” do let me know anytime you’d like me to give you an almost-mani.

Or boil you some brownies.

Where are you seeking your "completeness" these days? Is it in spending time with the Lord? If not, what might need to change to encourage "artios" in your life?

Rhonda Rhea is a humor columnist, radiopersonality, speaker and author of 10 books, including How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person?, Espresso Your Faith - 30 Shots of God's Word to Wake You Up,and a book designed to encourage Pastor's Wives (P-Dubs): Join the Insanity. Rhonda, a sunny pastor's wife, lives near St. Louis and is "Mom" to five grown children. Find out more at www.RhondaRhea.com.

5 Questions to Decide What Deserves Your Time

In this Time Management UPGRADE, Julie Sanders helps us consider something we all have a lot of, but often misuse—our time.

"On a full plate, not everything is equal," Julie says. "The more options, the more important it is to decide what deserves our time. How can we plan for our priorities?"

The more I (Dawn) talk to women, the more I realize how full those plates are. My own is overflowing and needs some paring down, and I have to tell you – Julie's tips here really help!

Julie continues . . .

Your plate may overflow with feedings and laundry, deadlines and events, or presentations and correspondence. If we start each day hoping important things rise to the top, we risk drowning in a flash flood of urgency and emergency.

Whatever the parts of our busy life, we can’t afford not to plan to make our priorities first. Being in the place where we need to plan is a good place to be.

By learning to count time, measure resources and compare the weight of work, we learn wisdom. The Psalmist said, “So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

Counterfeit priorities will beg for attention with a simple knock at the door or chime of the phone.

Ask 5 questions to plan for the main things to take the main chunk of your time and attention. First things first.

1. What can only I do?

Some tasks require my attention. Only I can be my husband’s wife and mother my children. When God directs me to a hurting person, only I can respond in the moment.

But I am not meant to answer every problem or be the savior for every need. Can someone else meet the need?

2. What can someone else do?

When we delegate a duty to someone else, we wisely use our time. I don’t have to do every load of laundry, return every call, teach every lesson or pray for every need.

Since resources are limited, I’ve learned to let go and let others share the load.

3. What can wait?

Someone else’s poor planning does not constitute an emergency for my schedule.

It may feel good to be the “answer” to a trauma, but being swept away by the urgent requires saying “no” to other things of value. Some things can wait. When weighing a request or responsibility, ask, “Can it wait?” 

4. What can be a process?

Deadlines present opportunities to plan ahead. Choose a tool that works for you to schedule times to make progress, and resist letting longer term projects turn into last minute problems.

5. What matters most to God?

When deciding what deserves our time, consider what matters most to God. What does He consider a “priority” and what can take a back seat or fall away?

This means priorities are constantly changing, in light of how God guides our steps, including the people He brings into our lives.

Hold tightly to what God cares about, but hold loosely to the order of business on your planner.

After all, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

We don’t know how many days we have. We do know each will be 24 hours, with 365 in every year. We can’t hope or plan to do it all.

First plan your priorities and your priorities will happen first.

Is the way you spend your time a real reflection of your real priorities? How could you plan to put first things first?

NOTE: Julie created an Alphabet Priorities printable bookmark—a helpful tool for sorting through what matters most. It's available here and here.

Julie Sanders speaks and writes with seasoned wisdom. Since moving to the Northwest with her husband, Julie is numbering her days in a new season of life. As the director of early learning programs across nearly 16,000 square miles of urban and rural country, she has daily opportunities to put first things first and live out God’s priorities. Julie writes from her online home, “Come Have a Peace.”

Equipping Our Next Generation's Women of Influence

Doreen Hanna loves little girls—and it shows. One of her passions is developing Christ-like character in their hearts. In this Parenting/Legacy UPGRADE, she describes some everyday ways to create a woman of influence.

Doreen says, "Moms, dads & some grandparents today are seeking to discover resources that will develop and strengthen Christ-like character qualities within the heart of their little girls—knowing they will be our next generation’s mothers, professional women in leadership, and women in ministry leaders!"

I (Dawn) wonder how often parents and grandparents think about the impact they are making on the next generation as they train and encourage little girls. I know I thought about "leadership" and "character" with my sons, and that's every bit as important with girls.

Doreen continues . . .

Developing Christ-like character in the heart of our little girls sometimes seems like an unending parenting project. I found that to be true when I was raising my two girls.

Just about the time I thought that we had achieved success in the development of telling the truth, I quickly found we then needed to work on tattling. Why?

Focusing on one character quality often exposes the lack of another. 

I believe that is God’s grace, because He does promise He would never give us more than we (parents) can bear. I read a great quote recently that has Biblical truth:

“Change in behavior begins with a change in heart.” 

“Above all else," Proverbs 4:23 says, "guard your heart, for everything you do (your behavior) flows from it.”

Here are a few suggestions to help encourage Christ-likeness in your little princess. She will one day grace society as a lovely Daughter of the King—a woman of influence, both in word and deed.

1. Model what you are seeking to develop in your daughter’s heart.

If you plan to focus on growing gentleness, look for opportunities where you can demonstrate it. 

Perhaps you are walking by neighbors' yard and their flowers are in full bloom. Take a moment to stop and admire them, gently touching one of them. Then encourage your daughter to do the same, affirming that flowers need to be touched gently. 

Or, maybe you have the opportunity visit a friend and see her new puppies. As you hold one of the pups stroking it gently, allow her to feel its soft fur and hear its precious little whimper. Then allow her to hold it gently. Affirm her sweet act of gentleness.

2. Talk about ways you could show kindness to others, together. 

With the Thanksgiving season approaching, how about taking a walk around the neighborhood and choosing homes where you would like to place a handwritten note at their door along with homemade cookies or a gift card.

The card might say, “During this Thanksgiving season, we’d like to say how grateful we are that you are our neighbors. Love from..." (add your daughter’s name and your family name).

And speaking of love...

3. Think of ways you can teach your daughter to demonstrate love to others.

A warm hug certainly affirms our love for others. It is good for our children to see their mom and dad expressing their love to each other by way of a wink of the eye, an extra squeeze, or a great kiss. 

That was a delight for me as a little girl. My dad never left our home without kissing my mom good-bye, or returning home and immediately giving her an “I’m home” kiss. I felt so secure, I didn’t even need a kiss from him. His kiss for her was enough, most often!  

Serving is another simple yet profound way to show love. Instead or you doing one of your routine acts of love for your husband, encourage your daughter to bring dad his favorite drink, as he sits down in his favorite chair after a long day at work.

Or if grandparents are living at home with you, help your daughter look for an opportunity to serve the elderly with sincerity. She might observe them quietly, and if they have forgotten something, your daughter  could quickly meet their need. Perhaps she could get their glasses left in another room, or a pair of slippers that would require several steps to the closet for them, while she could run and get them in an instant! 

Acts of love fill both the giver and the receiving with a moment of joy!

These are only three character qualities you could teach and model for your daughter to equip her to be a woman of influence.

Are you praying for ways to guide your little girl’s behavior? Are you trusting God to change her heart, to ultimately grow her into a lovely woman of influence—a Daughter of the King?

Doreen Hanna is the Founder and President of Modern Day Princess Headquarters. Speaking and writing, she has empowered women and equipped their daughters for more than 35 years. Doreen enjoys her two daughters, four grandchildren and 88-year-old mother, presently living with her.  Traveling and visiting with friends over a cup of coffee are Doreen's favorite past-times. For more information about Modern Day Princess, visit here.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Giuliamar for Pixabay.

10 Ways to Foster Gracious Speech

Kathy Howard, who sometimes calls herself a "confused southerner," is not at all confused about the truth of scripture. In this Communication UPGRADE, she encourages us to use our words wisely, with gracious speech.

“Our words have the power to build up or tear down," Kathy says, "but gracious speech has been an area of struggle for me.”

I (Dawn) have never had a serious problem with using words to tear other down, but it took me a while to learn how to effectively use words to encourage others. I'm glad Kathy addresses both issues!

Kathy continues . . .

Years ago, when our young family lived in Wyoming, my parents regularly came all the way from Louisiana to visit us. Just before one such visit, we purchased a dining table and chairs for a long-empty breakfast area. I couldn’t wait to show off the new furniture.

The first time we gathered around the table, Mom pulled out her chair and sat. As she scooted forward, a leg of the chair caught in the groove between two tiles. The leg snapped off, the chair tilted, and my mother hit the floor. HARD!

My immediate reaction was not words of grace.

“You broke my chair!” is what came out of my mouth.

Not, “Are you alright?!” or “Let me help you!”

My mother looked so hurt. Not physically; the tumble wasn’t bad. But I terribly hurt her feelings.

My quick words revealed what was in my heart – I cared far too much about material things. My first thought had been for the chair, not my mother. And my thoughtless words wounded her.

The apostle Paul knew our words have the power to build up or tear down. In his letter to the Christians in Ephesus, he tells them – and us – exactly what effect our speech should and should not have on others.

"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers" (Ephesians 4:29, KJV).

First, our speech should not “corrupt.”

Far more than curse words, corrupt speech is graceless speech.

It tears down, deflates. Whenever we speak corrupt words to our spouse, our child, our coworker, or friend, they deflate like a beach ball full of holes.

Any words not wholesome or beneficial tear them down emotionally and spiritually. Little by little the air goes out. Sadly, I’ve seen my own words have that effect on other people.

Second, our speech should “benefit” or “minister grace” to others.

Like air blown into a deflated beach ball, good and edifying words will encourage and build up an individual, helping them to reach their full potential in Christ.

Even when we long for our words to give grace to others, sometimes things break down between our desire and the words that flow out of our mouths.

Sadly, our words will betray us, revealing the junk we have hidden in our hearts. Things like insecurity, hurt, unresolved anger, selfishness and pride produce words that wound, tear down and corrupt.

Would you like your words to consistently encourage, build up, and give grace to others? Here are ten things we can do to foster this “gracious” overflow:

1. Regularly reflect on the unbounded grace God has lavished on us.
2. Remember God will hold us accountable for every word we speak (Matthew 12:36).
3. Constantly check our hearts for sinful attitudes and motivations. (See Matthew12:34-36.)
4. Ask God to heal old hurts, soothe anger, and humble pride.
5. Refuse to use "corrupt" speech – any words that wound, discourage, or tear down.
6. Commit to using "good" words - kind and gracious words that build up and encourage.
7. Find something positive with which to begin and end every conversation.
8. Don't waste time talking about things that can't be changed.
9. Focus on the other person. Ask questions about them and their feelings.
10. Exercise self-control. Sometimes the most gracious thing to say is nothing.

With God’s grace flowing through us, our words can be tools of grace God uses to build up, encourage, and edify.

When was the last time your noticed the power of your words to either wound of give grace? What was the result?

Kathy Howard helps women live an unshakeable faith for life no matter the circumstances. This post is adapted from her new Bible study Lavish Grace: Poured Out, Poured Through, and Overflowing. Lavish Grace is a 9-week journey with the apostle Paul that helps readers discover God’s abundant grace for their daily lives and relationships. You can find out more about Kathy and her speaking and writing, or find free resources at her website. 

Heart graphic is adapted, courtesy of Morguefile.

Do You Believe God Is 'Almighty'?

Our beliefs, Dawn Wilson says, motivate our actions. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she challenges us to think about what we sing and say regarding God's "might."

Ever have a song get stuck in your brain and you ended up singing it all day long? That was me with the hymn, "Praise to the Lord, the Almighty."

As I sang about the God of Creation who "wondrously reigneth"—the One who by the power of His might uplifts and sustains all He has made, the One who prospers our work and defends us, the One who deserves our praise and adoration forever—I suddenly stopped singing.

"Do you believe that?"

Now I'm not sure if that voice was the Lord asking me about the strength of my faith or the enemy tempting me to doubt God's nature (maybe it was a bit of both), but I knew I couldn't ignore that question. What we believe motivates our actions.

So I started thinking about God's might, and opened my Bible because I want to base what I believe on solid truth. Here are some things I discovered.

1. God the Almighty has the ultimate power over all His creation.

He created all things (Genesis 1:3). Everything from the tiniest organism to the largest whales, from a grain of sand to the expansive universe. He made and sustains everything through His power and might.

The Lord first shared His name, "God, the All-powerful One," (El Shaddai) with Abram in Genesis 17:1, saying, "I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless." We see the name again in communications with and between the biblical patriarchs (Genesis 28:3; 35:11; 43:14; 48:3; and 49:25).

God wanted Abram and his descendants to know He is not at all like the gods of the nations surrounding Israel. His power is beyond all other powers in the great universe He created. His power is unlimited and great (Job 37). 

He does as He pleases because He is the sovereign God! (Psalm 115:3; Isaiah 46:9-10; Daniel 4:35) His purposes cannot be stopped. He is eternally good and just and we have no right to accuse Him when we don't understand His ways (Job 40:2; Romans 9:20-21).

We can take refuge in His strong love and protection (Psalm 46:1; Proverbs 18:10).

2. God the Almighty performs wonders and miracles.

The Lord does "marvelous things beyond number" (Job 9:10). He can do more in and through us than we can ever think to ask or even imagine (Ephesians 3:20). This should inspire us to come boldly to the throne of God and ask for great things (Hebrews 4:16), because God may want to give them to us for our good and for His glory.

Sometimes, I think, God even more honored when we don't know what to ask — when we simply see where He is working and hop on board. It's not our agenda we ask Him to bless, but rather His mighty plans, that He may alllow us to participate in with joy.

God is working in powerful and mighty ways. We just need to be alert to see Him at work!

3. God the Almighty is awesome and great.

Moses described Him as the "God of Gods and Lord of Lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God" (Deuteronomy 10:17). When we come to the Lord, we must come with a sense of awe, wonder and holy fear.

The name "God Almighty" should inspire us to revere Him and give Him the glory due His name (Psalm 29:1b-2; 1 Samuel 12:24). His splendor is beyond our comprehension.

Just spend some time looking at the stars to get a tiny glimpse of God's might and majesty.

The heaven's declare His glory, and all things He has made are evidences of His "eternal power and divine nature" (Psalm 19:1-3; Romans 1:20).

4. God the Almighty will righteously judge those who reject Him.

We don't like to think about this aspect of God's might, but it is true. Revelation 19:15 describes the "recompense" of God—the "fury of the wrath of God the Almighty."

The Lord desires for all to be saved, but some will not believe the gospel of Christ (1 Timothy 2:4; 2 Thessalonians 1:8). (The Apostle Paul recognized the importance of praying for and evangelizing the lost, because we do not know the hearts of men.)

He is the Maker and the Master! Someday every knee will bow before Him (Romans 14:11; Philippians 2:10).

5. God the Almighty draws us into a personal relationship.

God said to Moses, "...I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac and Jacob as God Almighty, but by my name the LORD I did not make myself known to them" (Exodus 6:2-3).

It is this aspect of the Almighty God that most touches my heart.

When God the Son came in the flesh to die on a cross so our sins could be forgiven, the true wonder of His might was made manifest in our hearts. Jesus died to redeem us, reconcile us and  restore us to the Father. 

Anyone who trusts in this provision by the Almighty One will find sweet refuge (Psalm 91:1-2; Proverbs 14:26).

God, the Almighty, protects His own. This does not mean we will not suffer—maybe even a martyr's death—but that our refuge is in Christ forever. We are rescued and we will not perish (John 3:16-17; Romans 8:31-39). The Lord is "mighty to save"! (Zephaniah 3:17)

6. God the Almighty evidences power in His children.

One of the blessings of our restored relationship with God is His power working in and through us.

"...be strong in the Lord, relying on His mighty strength" (Ephesians 6:10)

"...The people who do know their God shall be strong, and do exploits" (Daniel 11:32).

The hymn encourages us:

"Ponder anew what the Almighty can do, if with His love He befriends you."

Do you believe God is Almighty? How does believing that motivate your life? Are you seeing God's power manifest in your life and ministry?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is contracted researcher for Revive Our Hearts and a writer for Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.