God Harvests Fruit From Mentoring Seeds

With wise words and sweet songs, Dr. Gail Bones invites women to a place of change in Christ and the cross. In this unique UPLIFT/Mentoring UPGRADE, she shares a personal note from someone changed by her ministry.

A decade ago, God allowed me to mentor a younger woman in ministry," Gail says. "Years later, she wrote to thank me for equipping her to invest in the next generation."

We don't often get an opportunity to see how God uses our ministry. I (Dawn) am so glad Gail received this tremendous blessing. It encouraged me to think how God might be using us in ways we don't yet understand.

Gail has truly been a Titus 2 woman, equipping and encouraging younger women.

Gail continues . . .

I’m grateful that the seeds I’ve planted in her life continue to produce a rich harvest.

Her words can serve as an encouragement to all who hear the call to mentor but may feel uncertain as to how to go about it.

You’ll see it took no special talent or herculean effort. We just planned to spend regular time together walking and talking. 

Be inspired by some of her cherished words to me about our mentoring relationship:

Thank you for loving me so well. You cared about the things I cared about. You let me lead out in conversation about things that were on my heart and mind without making me feel silly or juvenile for giving my attention to things that, looking back, seem so shallow.

You affirmed and pointed out my strengths. You let me plan a party for my young adult group at your house and afterwards said, "You are really good at putting on events and bringing people together.” You gave me the confidence to continue to have people over often, even now. 

You told me I had the gift of exhortation and, because of your affirmation, I ask God to use my voice in that way as I minister to the people He entrusts to my care.

One of my deepest cares was whether I’d ever get married. You always told me I was beautiful inside and out, and helped me to believe that God did in fact have someone very special for me who would see me that way too.

You shared your life with me, and were vulnerable, letting me into the good, the bad and the ugly of your life. My admiration for you grew deeper as my understanding of the Lord and his grace through your story changed me. This became part of the spiritual foundation I stand on today, and the hope I cling to in times where I feel like I’ve lost my way. Through your story, I learned that God is gracious, and not only is He gracious, He is good. When we search for him we find he is loving, compassionate, and forgiving.

You were also honest about marriage and family, finances and your self-doubt. That honesty prepared me for my own marriage and life as an “adult.” You gave me the confidence to take life head-on and to not be so afraid.

When I cried, you cried, and you taught me that emotions were okay. Watching you cry made me feel like women can be strong and they can be emotional; the two can co-exist.

You inspired me to read, something that I still love to do today. This has opened my world to new information and wisdom that I use every day in ministry.

Thank you Gail, I love you! 

What impact could you have in the life of another as a mentor if you’d be willing to trust God’s Holy Spirit to guide you? Who is he placing in your path?

Ask the Lord to show you who He has in mind for you to mentor and be mentored by.

Dr. Gail Bones is a speaker, retreat leader, songwriter/worship leader, former professor of education and the founder of CrossWise Living, an intergenerational ministry devoted to helping people navigate change. She and her husband Jeff have two married children. From the east coast but now living in San Diego, Gail says “happiness” means always having one or more of the following in her hands: a dog leash, a sailboat rudder, bicycle handlebars, a kayak paddle, an acoustic guitar, a big fat book or a hazelnut coffee. Be blessed by her Bible studies or her newest CD, "Still," and read more about Gail at her website/blog.

NOTE: The full story of how God brought us together and began my cross-generational ministry can be found in Living CrossWise: Hope and Help for Navigating Transition.

Graphic of strawberries adapted, courtesy of Morguefile.

As Often As You Drink It

Gail Bones is one of the most caring people I know. Heart tender and oh-so-wise, she uses her words and music (like her new CD, Still) to offer women biblical truth as she calls them to hope in God. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she focuses on a unique way to pray for those who do not know Him.

“Jesus calls us the ‘salt of the earth.’ Whose spiritual thirst are you meant to arouse?” Gail asks.

“Is there someone in your circle of loved ones who stands outside the circle of faith?

"Who can you enlist to form a prayer circle around this beloved unbeliever to pray regularly and systematically for their salvation?”

I (Dawn) have to admit, I never thought of this creative approach to praying for loved ones who have not yet met Jesus.

Gail continues . . .

At the Last Supper, Jesus raised his cup said,

“Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me” (I Corinthians 11:25). 

What if those you call together to stand in prayer for your loved one were to use the simple act of drinking a beverage as a guide and reminder?

1. COFFEE

The first step in making coffee is grinding the hard bean and crushing it to a usable powder.

Perhaps your loved one has a hardened heart toward God. As you enjoy your morning coffee, pray that the Lord will soften their heart toward Him and that they will sense his loving care as they experience trials in the daily grind of life.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Exodus 26:36).  

Next, the ground coffee is placed in a filter, which removes both impurities and bitterness as the boiling water streams through it.

Ask God to work in your loved one’s heart to reveal impurities or bitterness toward Him or others that hinders their ability to repent and trust God.

Pray that they would find mercy and grace to turn to him for salvation.

As you stir in the sugar, ask the Holy Spirit to enable them to “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 38:4). 

When you pour in creamer, pray that they’d begin to desire the “pure milk of the word” (1 Peter 2:2).

2. TEA

As you cradle a comforting cup of tea, ask that your loved one would begin to experience the warmth and consolation of the Holy Spirit.

The teabag, when immersed in the hot water, transforms the water by infusing its color and flavor throughout. Ask God to give them eyes to see the rich color and flavor of the Lord in your life and to desire it in theirs. Pray that they would receive Him and be changed as their lives are steeped in the Holy Spirit.  

3. GRAPE JUICE or WINE

The fruit of the vine must be first crushed before it is drinkable. Jesus used the symbol of wine to represent His blood shed for the sins of mankind.

As you drink it, ask God to give your loved one a vivid sense of the sacrifice Jesus made, and to have faith to believe that Jesus died for their sins to bring them peace and healing. Pray that they would soon be able to come to the communion table to share in the fellowship of those who rejoice in the salvation that is found in Christ alone.

“He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

4. WATER

As you take a sip, ask the Lord to give your loved one a longing for Jesus Christ, the Living Water, and to come to him so that they will never thirst again.

“On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice. ‘Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink’” (John 7:37).

“Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life” (John 4:14).

Drink by precious drink, let your beverages remind you to come to the Living Water today.

Who do you know today who needs to be drenched in prayer for salvation?

Dr. Gail Nelson Bones is the author of Living CrossWise: Hope and Help for Navigating Transition. She is a speaker, Bible teacher, singer-songwriter and worship leader. Her latest release, Still, features 10 original songs encouraging listeners to “Be still and know that He is God.” Her website is www.gailbones.com.

How to Keep Criticism from Crushing You

Gail Bones is an accomplished musician, educator and author. God has taught her much about dealing with criticism, and she remains vulnerable and transparent. I love that about her.

Gail shared this UPGRADE post, part of a longer article she wrote for writers and artists, but with helpful input for all of us:

I’ve been playing guitar my whole life. When I was a full-time performer, I could play guitar for six hours a day without feeling the strain. My secret? Industrial strength calluses. You get them the way oysters get pearls—by pressing through pain.

Writers are famous for having to learn how to handle rejection. We must develop a thicker skin, we are told. Even though I usually pretend to welcome it with open arms and a grateful heart, receiving even constructive criticism usually bothers me.

I don’t recoil, however, at the thought of pressing my fingertips against the hard steel strings of my guitar. As I’ve persisted over the years in leaning into the source of pain, my fingers actually have developed thicker skin.

Unless you have the courage to develop calluses, the beauty can’t flow freely from your hands.

There’s a lesson here about life.

Six Kinds of Criticism: Six Kinds of Pain

1. When It’s Right

When I joined my first writer’s critique group and started regularly seeing “wordy” written across my submissions, I didn’t believe it at first. I had to be alerted to the fact that I had this tendency and that it worked against the clarity and readability of my prose.

My critiquer was right. I leaned in to her insights, and my word counts began to drop dramatically.

2. When It’s Wrong

Not everyone who wields a red pencil gets it right 100% of the time. Don’t get discouraged; get a second opinion before you delete a month’s worth of work.

3. When It’s Gracious

Force yourself to accept that the commendations bookending the criticism are accurate.

Don’t highlight the negative and ignore the positive comments. Give yourself some credit!

4. When It’s Mean-spirited

Who knows why people feel they must spew venom when they get on the Internet. Anyone who gets that worked up, who uses capital letters and multiple exclamation points to slam someone else’s heart-felt words has issues that go beyond the scope of what you need to concern yourself with.

Just don’t go there.

5. When It’s Personal Preference.

Cross-stitch this if you need to, and hang it on your wall: Not everyone is going to love you. Not everyone is going to get you. But somebody will, and they are worth persevering for.

6. When It’s Self-Criticism.

I find I have to repeatedly scrape off the barnacles of pride masquerading as perfectionism that keep attaching themselves to my hull.

Being a people pleaser and a perfectionist will make you crazy. Being your own worst critic can sometimes be a sign that you have the discernment and sensitivity you need to be a writer. But you have to know when to silence that carping voice and let yourself believe positive and uplifting words.

The truth is, some criticism is tough to hear, but “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise” (Proverbs 15:31).

How do you deal with various kinds of criticism? Which is the hardest for you?

 Dr. Gail Bones is a speaker, retreat leader, songwriter/worship leader,  former professor of education and the founder of CrossWise Living, an intergenerational ministry devoted to helping people navigate change. She and her husband Jeff have two married children. From the east coast but now living in San Diego, Gail says “happiness” means always having one or more of the following in her hands: a dog leash, a sailboat rudder, bicycle handlebars, a kayak paddle, an acoustic guitar, a big fat book or a hazelnut coffee. Read more about Gail at her website/blog.

Note: Guitar Photo Image courtesy of artemisphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net