The Secret to Confident Mothering

Author and speaker Becky Harling impresses me as a woman who makes wise choices, and in this Parenting UPGRADE, she highlights the powerful choice to practice praising God in the home.

“Motherhood is a crazy journey, simultaneously wonderful and terrifying,” Becky says. “I know because I’ve been there.”

I (Dawn) remember those young days of motherhood. I worried about a lot of things when my boys were little. I wish I'd had someone like Becky to whisper words of peace to my heart.

Becky continues . . .

I’ve raised four kids and now have five grandchildren. While I enjoyed much of my parenting journey, I struggled with a lot of anxiety. There were days when I wondered if I would lose my mind or, worse, if I would mess up their minds.

I lived in fear that, because of me, my kids might have to spend thousands of dollars on therapy! A therapist friend of mine has a pillow siting on the couch in her office that says, “If it’s not one thing, it’s your Mother!” 

Well, into my parenting journey, I began a new spiritual practice that not only enhanced my relationship with God, but it also made me a more confident mother and strengthened my relationships with my children.

I began the practice right after being diagnosed with cancer.

If anything throws a curve ball into your parenting, it’s cancer. As I was grappling with the severity of that diagnosis, a friend challenging me,

“Becky, will you praise God for twenty minutes a day even as you walk through cancer?” 

Initially, I thought that was a lame idea! I mean honestly, I didn’t exactly feel like jumping up and down shouting, “Hallelujah, I’m facing a double mastectomy.” But, after considering my options, I decided to take my friend’s challenge. What I experienced radically changed my life.

I began INTENTIONALLY praising God daily for what He was doing in my kids’ lives and in mine.

I praised Him that cancer wasn’t catching Him off guard and that I could trust Him with our family’s future.

Trust me, there were moments when I didn’t feel like it! But as I continued, I learned that praising God isn’t just some glib hallelujah when finances are prospering, your health is flourishing, and your family is thriving.

Praising God is the intentional declaration by faith that exalts God above your life circumstances.

• I praised God for His sovereign control over the lives my children.
• I exalted Him that He loved my kids even more than I did.
• I worshipped Him as the Almighty One who was able to do beyond what I could even imagine in the lives of my kids.

As I continued, I began to notice changes. God’s presence came close and calmed my fears. My kid’s faith grew deeper and relationships grew stronger. Most of all my anxiety lessened. 

I believe this is what the Apostle Paul was getting at when he wrote,

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).

From a human perspective, there are many things to worry about as a mother. But I believe with all my heart, if you will choose to praise God above your fears, your anxiety will diminish and peace will replace panic.

What do you worry most about in your mothering journey? How might praising God diminish that anxiety?

Becky Harling. Authentic. Passionate. Funny. Insightful. Becky is a frequent speaker at conferences, retreats, and other venues. She is the author of Rewriting Your Emotional Script, Freedom from Performing, The 30 Day Praise Challenge and The 30 Day Praise Challenge for Parents. Becky is married to Steve Harling and has four adult kids and five grandkids. Visit her website and blog!

Graphic adapted from an image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.