Just Around the Next Bend

Pam Farrel is a spiritual motivator and cheerleader. She roots her wise counsel in the Word of God. In this Gratitude UPGRADE, she encourages readers to praise and not pout, and she shows us how from a powerful story in her life.

"As COVID lingers on, and the world seems to be experiencing one crisis or conflict after another," Pam says.

"I sometimes pause to reflect on the life lessons God pre-planned into all our lives in earlier days that can help us navigate."

I (Dawn) agree with Pam that God prepares us for tough circumstances throughout our lives. It's wise to choose to learn from those lessons.

Pam continues . . .

In Discovering Joy in Philippians: A Creative Bible Study Experience, I share what to do when discouragement looms like a storm cloud over your life or you just don’t know what to do to get unstuck:

“Go back to the people, the places, and the portions of scripture where you know you have heard the will and ways of God.”

For example, to clear my head, and reconnect my heart to God, I will often head to nature:

• a prayer walk along the ocean’s edge,
• a paddle on the bay,
• or a bike ride to get away from tech and in touch with the Creator.

By rewinding your brain to former days, some memories stick as road signs pointing to a proven path forward.

For example, as youth ministers, we led a bike trip from Northern California, along the ocean to Santa Barbara. The scenery was breath-takingly beautiful, but rigorous—a series of rolling mountains that escalated higher and steeper in elevation.

We leaders knew this might be quite physically challenging to most of the students, so we designed the trips’ shirts to have the week’s motivational motto on the back of tees, so the cyclists could see it boldly in front of them:  

Nothing’s too tough to make me complain!

That phrase capsulized Paul’s command:

Do all things without grumbling or disputing that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world (Philippians 2: 14-15).

GRUMBLING is to mutter, murmur, or hold on to a smoldering discontent.

DISPUTING is back and forth speculations that keep you stuck in your own reasoning when what you really need is God’s more heavenly perspective.

Peddle to Progress

On this arduous bike trip, I was hot, weary, and faint—but NOT complaining aloud! My repeated question to my co-leader spouse was, “How close are we to the finish?”

With optimism, Bill, would reply, “Closer than it was. Perhaps just around the next bend.” 

Then we would sing worship songs as we peddled up the endlessly steep grade. Finally, at the mountain peak, we paused for a majestic moment, with a bird’s eye view of the ocean stretching out, wrapping us in 180-degree beauty. #sweetvictory!

But my lasting inspiration of this trip from grumbling to gratitude was forged by the students.

Before one of the narrower bridges, we loaded the bikers on the bus and their bikes in a trailer a truck was pulling. The trailer came unhooked from the truck and banged into the guard rail sending three bikes and a couple of suitcases over the rail, down into the Pacific Ocean—never to be seen again!

The amazing attitude of these three teens was stellar! They DID NOT COMPLAIN!

Most adults would have caved and whined, but not these three brave hearts! One of the reasons they were able to keep hold of their positive attitude in face of this unexpected loss was all the rest of the youth group swiftly rallied to meet their needs.

None MURMERED—rather, they MOVED into action.

There were just over 50 teens on this “Nothing’s Too Tough to Make ME Complain” tour—and the vast majority are still walking with Jesus faithfully now forty years later—and more than 75% of that group today hold leadership positions in churches, community groups, mission’s organizations, as pastors, counselors, government officials, and non-profit leaders.

We were all transformed by this stalwart commitment to PRAISE instead of POUT.

FORWARD FOCUS

Years later, we began our family and vowed to raise children who could maintain a sense of strength and courage—no matter what life might send their way.

We hung a six-foot wooden sign, carved into it: “Thou shalt not whine.” 

• If the boys were tempted to moan over chores, mere inconveniences, or minor setbacks, we just pointed to the sign.
• When real pressures and traumas entered their lives, we would gather as a family to pray scripture over that son, often under that same sign.
• We would acknowledge feelings, process them with an attitude of faith, and then stand strong on the promises of the Word.

The boys took this “Can do” attitude into their futures. Now, as leaders of their families and communities, these young leaders help others cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Your Uphill Journey

When you are tempted to grumble, or have lost your hope, joy, or peace, or need clarity, cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

Begin your own Powerful Praise journal. Note verses that have carried you in the past, turn them into memes, verses to study deeper, and Bible art to help you navigate your future—looking at what you CAN do, not what you can't.

I daily remind myself—as I reflect on God’s faithfulness in the past—to meditate on His promises.

God will be the power to keep peddling forward.

Are you peddling hard today? Don't give up! Victory is just ahead! But if you're discouraged, what can you do today to turn grumbling to gratitude or pouting into praise in the struggles of your life?

Pam Farrel is the Co-Director of Love-Wise, author of 50+ books and co-author of the Discovering the Bible Creative Bible Study series. For more ideas, here are 15 Things You Can Do Instead of Complain. Then hop over to Love-Wise.com to download your free 30 Day Infectious Joy Bible devotional.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Patrick Hendry at Unsplash.

Just a Little Bit More

In this affluent society, we're always trying to add just a little bit more to our lives. More wealth. More stuff. More prestige. In this Thanksgiving Upgrade, Dawn Wilson encourages us to add a bit more gratitude.

Last summer, Sharon Jaynes wrote about I Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances. "We read that verse and think it rather nice," Sharon wrote, "So we slap a sloppy coat of thanksgiving on life and go about our day. In reality, most of us are thankful for very little."

Instead of expressing gratitude, we complain. A lot.

I focused on not complaining this summer for one whole week. I didn't think I was a natural complainer. I've since discovered everyone is. It's that nasty sin nature rearing it's head.

That's why Paul instructs, "Do all things without murmurings (complaining) and disputings" (Philippians 2:14). Complaining devastated the the Israelites (Exodus 16:8; Numbers 11:1-4; Psalm 106:25; 1 Corinthians 10:10).

Complaining has many negative consequences. It messes up our relationships and conversations. It focuses on the negative, sees the worst, darkens our spirit and zaps our energy. Complaining increases stress; we just can't seem to "release" our grumbling. Even when we complain just to ourselves, we are essentially making excuses for our lack of gratitude.

So I'll admit it. I struggled with that week of "not complaining." I was surprised how many complaints entered my mind in such a short period.

I found it extremely difficult to stop complaining. Until I started thanking.

Thanksgiving made the difference. I was allowing God to transform my thinking (Romans 12:2).

Gratitude is a choice, and it can root out an ungrateful, murmuring, complaining spirit. We're not commanded in scripture to feel more grateful, but we are instructed to be thankful.

"Gratitude changes the lens through which we see circumstances in our little slice of time," Sharon said. "Thanksgiving changes our perspective despite broken dreams, broken relationships, tumultuous circumstances and unfulfilled longings."

Repeatedly in the Psalms, we observe David move from a place of depression or sharing his complaints with God to a better place. His perspective seems to change as he praises God or expresses gratitude:  

In Psalm 57, David complains that his soul "is in the midst of lions" (v. 4). His enemies are trying to destroy him. He's in pretty bad shape, emotionally.

Yet in verses 9-11, what a turnaround!

"I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!"

We see this same turnaround in Psalm 42:10-11 and Psalm 62:3-7. David consistently moved from grumbling and all sorts of negative emotions to praise and gratitude.  

He chose a different perspective and got a different result. And in that change of attitude, God was honored and glorified.

Another thing I discovered in my week of no complaining. Even a little bit of gratitude makes a difference.

Like a stream of light through an opening door, gratitude diffuses the darkness of our grumbling.

It's not slapping on "a sloppy coat of thanksgiving." It's getting honest with God about our needs, and then stopping to recognize God in the midst of our circumstances. To praise Him. To thank Him.

Think about the complaints you've made even this week. Can you add a bit more gratitude? Will you choose to thank God in your situation, even if you don't feel thankful?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.