Christmas Joy—After the Wrapping Paper is Discarded

We sing “Joy to the World” this time of year, but in this Christmas UPGRADE, Kathy Carlton Willis reminds us it’s more than a holiday sentiment.

“You won't find joy gift-wrapped and under the Christmas tree, but it is a gift indeed,” says Kathy.“Without the birth of Christ which we celebrate at Christmas, there would be no authentic joy.”

I (Dawn) can remember Christmases when there was more joy than there were Christmas gifts, so I can see where Kathy is going in calling joy a Christmas gift. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Kathy continues . . .

There might be temporary bursts of happiness at Christmastime, controlled by surrounding circumstances, but there would be no true joy without Christ’s birth.

Joy can only come from the One who guarantees salvation, because with that, there is eternal peace of mind.

When Christ becomes real in our lives, we begin to pick up His mannerisms, and if Christ was anything, He was joyful.

It is one of those character traits I’m most thankful for receiving. The Holy Spirit living in me whispers joy to my heart and my mind when the outside world seems to be yelling negativity to me.

In times of crisis and conflict, joy produces a calm that cannot be explained. It allows a person to be more than just content, but actually excited about living life out loud. Joy gives its recipient an assurance that any unpleasant circumstance is only a temporary inconvenience that can be overcome victoriously.

A Christmas carol we sing says, “Joy to the world, the Lord is come!” That song speaks truth.

Joy came to the world in the form of the baby Jesus. Anything before that time was just an anticipation of the Christ Child’s appearance.

We who live after His birth get the full picture—the gift of grace and mercy—rather than having to offer our own sin sacrifices like God’s people did in the Old Testament. Christ’s life and death give us the completion of God’s gift to us, His beloved.

How can we not be joyful, when we consider this?

“These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:11 KJV).

You’ll still have joy after the wrapping paper is discarded when you focus on the best gift of all.

Are you overwhelmed with parties, guest lists, gift wrapping, and tinsel this season? Or are you overcome with joy?

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences andwomen's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She has several books releasing over the next three years, includingGrin with Grace with AMG Publishers at the end of this year. She and her husband/pastor, Russ, live in Texas.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net. 

Cultivating Joy in Your Family This Christmas

Becky Harling, a conference and retreat speaker, is the creator of many praise challenges. She just bubbles over with joy! For this Christmas UPGRADE, I asked her to share how we might cultivate joy in our homes during the holidays.

"The angel who announced the birth of Jesus to the shepherds declared that the birth of Christ was good news of great joy," Becky says, "Yet, so often during the holidays, 'joyful' is not the word someone might use to describe our homes. Tense, hurried, stressed or chaotic might be a better fit.

"Yet, God wants us to experience great joy."

Try as I (Dawn) might, I tend to exhibit all the characteristics of "holiday hurry" disease. I have to be intentional about peace, or my days are robbed of joy. Are you like me? Let's learn wisdom and cultivate some joy!

Becky continues . . .

How do we experience great joy in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the Holiday season? And, how do we encourage joy in our kids during one of the most demanding and draining times of the year?

In search of the answers to these questions, I did a bit of research on joy.

I discovered that: (1) joy is primarily relational and (2) our brains have a joy center!

I know, right? Isn’t that amazing?

Studies indicate the "joy center exists in the right orbital prefrontal cortex of the brain. It has executive control over the entire emotional system.”

The joy center grows in infancy. Neurologists and psychologists teach us that when infants see delight in the eyes of their parents, the joy center of their brain is strengthened.  In other words, when babies see their parents’ eyes sparkle and light up in response to them, they know they are loved and their joy center develops.

“If the joy center develops correctly, an individual can find the path back to joy, in spite of the most difficult trauma.” * 

Even if your joy center didn’t develop properly in childhood, that part of your brain can be regenerated. Not only can you as a parent develop your child’s joy center, you can strengthen your own joy muscle!

Strengthening your joy muscle begins when you internalize the truth that you are the sparkle in your Heavenly Father’s eye.

Friend, God--your heavenly Father--is madly and categorically in love with you! God's Word teaches that He take great delight in you. He even sings and dances over you. (Zephaniah 3:17) His eyes sparkle and light up when you come to spend time with Him.  

It’s possible that you’ve never felt like anyone was particularly glad to see you. That’s not true of God. You are the sparkle in God’s eye. As you internalize that truth you are more able to pass the sparkle on to your kids, your spouse, your friends and neighbors.

So, how do you go about internalizing that truth and passing it on to your kids--especially during the Holidays? I have a few suggestions.

1. Spend a few moments praising God each day.

As you lift your focus to the sparkle in God's eye, your cares won’t feel nearly as burdensome, and you’ll feel His love more deeply.  

Listen to Christmas music that is focused on praising Jesus Christ. As you listen, remind yourself: God’s eyes sparkle when He gets to spend time with you! He’s glad to be with you. Praise Him that He designed you to experience joy and you have the privilege of passing that on to your child.

2. Smile often. 

Smiling sends the message that you’re happy to see someone. When your kids wake up in the morning or come home from school allow them to see the sparkle in your eye. Communicate that you’re glad to see them and you’re happy to be with them.

3. Sing when you’re stressed.  

When you feel stressed out or tense, start singing or turn on some music. Music often lightens our mood and helps us to enjoy God’s presence. Even if you can’t carry a tune, your efforts will release some of the stress.

4. Speak affirming words.

Let your kids know you’re proud of them and you praise God for them.

It’s easy to criticize when you’re stressed over busy schedules or tight finances; but scolding doesn’t strengthen anyone’s joy center. So, let it go and choose to affirm.

Friend, I think we need more joy in our world, don’t you? The angels acknowledged this when they proclaimed at Jesus' birth, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy" (Luke 2:10).

As you look at the Holiday season with all its demands, why not make it your goal to cultivate joy. Praise God that He is the joy giver and that you are the sparkle in His eye. Seek to strengthen your joy center and your child’s.

Make it your goal to PASS ALONG THE SPARKLE this Christmas, and I think you’re going to find your home a much happier place!

Which of the four “S’s” for cultivating joy can you begin today?

Becky Harling. Authentic. Passionate. Funny. Insightful. Becky is a frequent speaker at conferences, retreats, and other venues. She is the author of Rewriting Your Emotional Script, Freedom from Performing, The 30 Day Praise Challenge and The 30 Day Praise Challenge for Parents. Becky is married to Steve Harling and has four adult kids and five grandkids. Visit her website and blog!

* Quote from James G. Friesen, E. James Wilder, Anne M. Bierling, Rick Koepcke and Maribeth Poole, Living from the Heart Jesus Gave You (Van Nuys, CA: Shepherd's House, 2000), p. 12

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of suphakit73 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Upgrade for Life's Second Half

Pam Farrel is a relationship specialist who, along with her husband Bill, shares wisdom for a wide variety of relationships.

“In my book 10 Secrets of Living Smart, Savvy and Strong, I share my need for a midlife upgrade!” Farrel said.

She got my attention immediately. Who doesn’t want a fresh start in life’s second half?

She continues …

When I was in my early forties, if my life were described as a hand-crocheted afghan, then one day someone grabbed one piece of thread and began to unravel my life.

My husband had been the picture of health, and all of a sudden his blood pressure went through the roof. This got our attention because his grandfather died of a stroke at age 47, and his father had a stroke that left him paralyzed and disabled at age 48. Bill was 45.

At the time, Bill and I had achieved some measure of success, one of our books had even hit the bestsellers list (Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti). Bill was also the senior pastor of the largest church in our city, and we were completing a new building project.

Then, one day, we were traveling and Bill wasn’t feeling well, so he went to the doctor. The test results showed Bill needed an upgrade too!

So to make a painful story shorter, through a series of events and meetings, Bill ended up resigning from the church he’d pastored for over 15 years. At the time of the life transition, all our sons were teens. I was trying to keep one kid in college and prepare another’s send-off for his education, all during a time period where there was a huge income shift.

One week in particular sticks out to me as a picture of our life.

• Caleb (then 13) was hit illegally in a football game and had to be rushed to Children’s Hospital. I found myself sitting with Bill next to Caleb, praying for both their lives to be spared. When we finally brought Caleb home, I had a speaking engagement that the family needed me to keep. I left Caleb in Bill’s wonderful care.
• The first night I was gone, our middle son was pulled from his football game with a concussion and knee injury.
• The next night, our oldest, a college quarterback, was pulled from the game with what we thought might be a career-ending/scholarship-ending injury.

When I landed at the airport, my sister-in-law was on the phone with the news that my 40-year-old brother had experienced a heart attack.

I prayed in desperation, “This family needs an upgrade!”

People cared, so they inquired. I just didn’t know how to reply when people asked, “So, how are you doing?”

I felt God impress a question on my heart, “What kind of woman do you want to be, Pam?”

“Lord, I want to be the kind of person who can look at whatever life sends her way and find joy in it. Your Word says, ‘The joy of the Lord is our strength,’ (Nehemiah 8:10)—and do I ever need strength right now!” 

I knew joy was the upgrade I needed to gain clarity to create an upgrade plan for life’s second half. I printed out all the verses about joy and hung my heart on the truth and hope found there.

And I changed my response to the question, “So, Pam, how are you doing?”

My new answer became, “Choosin’ joy!”

In the midst of your tough circumstances, how have you discovered the strength that comes from choosing joy in the Lord?

Pam and Bill Farrel are both happy and healthy and loving life as they work their new upgrade plan. They are the Co-Directors of Love-Wise. Pam has served as director of women’s ministry, a pastor’s wife and a mentor, and she is the founder and president of Seasoned Sisters, a ministry to women ages 40-65.

Photo of midlife couple: Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net