Nurturing Gratitude

Sally Ferguson has a tender heart, but she's no wimp; she is strong in the Lord! In this Thanksgiving and Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she reminds us we can always choose our attitudes, and when the going gets tough, nurturing gratitude is a healthy, godly choice."Testing pushes our limits, our boundaries and our comfort zones," Sally says.

And I (Dawn) don't like that kind of testing! But I know God has worked through difficulties in my own life, and as He worked in my heart, I found I could say "Thank You" for even those tough times.

Sally continues . . .

Trials remove our masks, our crutches and our vices.

When we have to roll up our sleeves and do the hard thing, we find a deeper reserve within: a strength endowed by the Lord.

Out of that reserve grows an abiding sense of gratitude for what God has given, and an underlying contentment, knowing God is in control.

• He is present.
• He is protective of His own.
• As my pastor-husband says, “God is always present and at work in our lives.”

In Philippians, Paul tells us his secret to contentment; he found strength provided by God.

A recent chain of events revealed that provision for me.

When my mom-in-love fractured her back, her stay in Covid-restricted rehab brought a drop in her ability to function and communicate. We felt helpless as we watched her decline from vitality to memory loss and dependence on others for everything she needed.

My journey from New York to Florida became more than a mission to help in desperate times. It became my heart’s cry to lean on God’s strength.

How do you NURTURE GRATITUDE in difficult times?

Here are some tips that help me:

1. Hum.

Music restores perspective when we lift up praise to the Lord. It’s hard to focus on your problems when words are lilting through your head.

2. Rest.

A nap can do wonders for an attitude adjustment. Curl up in a cozy blanket and float away to dreamland.

3. Exercise.

On a particularly frustrating day, I went for a long walk and paced out my frustrations. It was the change I needed.

How can you add movement to your day?

4. Eat.

What are you putting into your body? Sweets may give a temporary rush, but the sugar drop later can be devastating.

Try fresh fruit, veggie sticks, smoothies, nuts and cheese. Even if your appetite is suppressed by anxiety, healthy snacks and protein can boost your mood.

5. Talk.

Family members and friends are eager to help, but feel helpless to step into your chaos.

Share memories of happy times through phone calls and text messages when you can’t sit around the table and chat. Include them in your thought processes and find your load lighter because of linking arms in the battle.

In Redeeming Love, The Companion Study, Francine Rivers says we need to remind ourselves, “God is still in control.”

When I try that phrase after stating each problem, it turns the problem upside down:  My mom-in-love’s health is declining, but God is still in control.

What phrase can you insert?

"_______, but God is still in control."

I’m grateful for this time with my mom-in-love. We’re sharing memories as we have a nail spa, sing, and watch movies together. Painting her nails helps her feel grand when life isn’t so grand. We’re finding good in the midst of uncertainty and confusion.

One night after getting her in bed, she whispered in the dark, “What’s wrong with me?”

Her heart-wrenching questions mirror ours, as we find no easy answers.

It’s this phase of life in-between the known and the unknown.

Aging gives the benefit of hindsight and the wisdom that comes with experience. But, for some, it also gifts Alzheimer’s and achy bones, muscles that won’t cooperate and loss of buoyance.

How we navigate these passages may vary from one person to the next.

Francine Rivers says,

“When you are depressed, discouraged, or exhausted, find a quiet place to sit and reflect on the faithfulness of God. You may be in a momentary lull, but God is not... keep your mind focused on His goodness and faithfulness. He will never fail you.”

Over the last three months, I’ve been replenished by God’s faithfulness repeatedly.

2 Corinthians 9:11 has shown God’s generosity poured out through our family as we take this path together, and others come alongside us. The Lord stretches us and then equips us so we can bless His name. We are blessed by beautiful grace!

I told my friend Kathy, “I’m finding joy, because I know I’m right where the Lord wants me. I’m finding out I can do what I never thought I could, and that’s a great gift from the Lord.”

She said, “The Lord is empowering you with His strength to fulfill His purpose for this time. And it brings you joy! Wow!”

Yes, His grace is beautiful!

Has testing depleted your resources? Don’t be afraid, God’s grace shows up at the exact time you need it! Which of the five suggestions for nurturing gratitude could you try today?

Sally Ferguson is a caregiver for her dad and her grands, and writing a Bible study for caregivers. She lives in western New York with her hubby of 33 years. Look for her words at EzineArticles, AlmostAnAuthor, Upgrade with Dawn, Amazon and sallyferguson.net

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Junior Moran at Unsplash.

Upgrade for Life's Second Half

Pam Farrel is a relationship specialist who, along with her husband Bill, shares wisdom for a wide variety of relationships.

“In my book 10 Secrets of Living Smart, Savvy and Strong, I share my need for a midlife upgrade!” Farrel said.

She got my attention immediately. Who doesn’t want a fresh start in life’s second half?

She continues …

When I was in my early forties, if my life were described as a hand-crocheted afghan, then one day someone grabbed one piece of thread and began to unravel my life.

My husband had been the picture of health, and all of a sudden his blood pressure went through the roof. This got our attention because his grandfather died of a stroke at age 47, and his father had a stroke that left him paralyzed and disabled at age 48. Bill was 45.

At the time, Bill and I had achieved some measure of success, one of our books had even hit the bestsellers list (Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti). Bill was also the senior pastor of the largest church in our city, and we were completing a new building project.

Then, one day, we were traveling and Bill wasn’t feeling well, so he went to the doctor. The test results showed Bill needed an upgrade too!

So to make a painful story shorter, through a series of events and meetings, Bill ended up resigning from the church he’d pastored for over 15 years. At the time of the life transition, all our sons were teens. I was trying to keep one kid in college and prepare another’s send-off for his education, all during a time period where there was a huge income shift.

One week in particular sticks out to me as a picture of our life.

• Caleb (then 13) was hit illegally in a football game and had to be rushed to Children’s Hospital. I found myself sitting with Bill next to Caleb, praying for both their lives to be spared. When we finally brought Caleb home, I had a speaking engagement that the family needed me to keep. I left Caleb in Bill’s wonderful care.
• The first night I was gone, our middle son was pulled from his football game with a concussion and knee injury.
• The next night, our oldest, a college quarterback, was pulled from the game with what we thought might be a career-ending/scholarship-ending injury.

When I landed at the airport, my sister-in-law was on the phone with the news that my 40-year-old brother had experienced a heart attack.

I prayed in desperation, “This family needs an upgrade!”

People cared, so they inquired. I just didn’t know how to reply when people asked, “So, how are you doing?”

I felt God impress a question on my heart, “What kind of woman do you want to be, Pam?”

“Lord, I want to be the kind of person who can look at whatever life sends her way and find joy in it. Your Word says, ‘The joy of the Lord is our strength,’ (Nehemiah 8:10)—and do I ever need strength right now!” 

I knew joy was the upgrade I needed to gain clarity to create an upgrade plan for life’s second half. I printed out all the verses about joy and hung my heart on the truth and hope found there.

And I changed my response to the question, “So, Pam, how are you doing?”

My new answer became, “Choosin’ joy!”

In the midst of your tough circumstances, how have you discovered the strength that comes from choosing joy in the Lord?

Pam and Bill Farrel are both happy and healthy and loving life as they work their new upgrade plan. They are the Co-Directors of Love-Wise. Pam has served as director of women’s ministry, a pastor’s wife and a mentor, and she is the founder and president of Seasoned Sisters, a ministry to women ages 40-65.

Photo of midlife couple: Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net