Steps to Peace When You Feel Unsettled

Kathy Carlton Willis reminds me of the Energizer Bunny. She accomplishes more in one week than I do in one month! In all her busyness, she's always got a wise and cheerful word of encouragement as she spreads God's truth along her way. However, Kathy is very transparent about her humanness. In this Peace UPGRADE, she reminds us that there are times God allows uneasiness in our lives for a reason—He wants us to find our peace and purpose in Him.

“I’m starting the year feeling uninspired and restless,” says Kathy.

When I (Dawn) read that, honestly, I was shocked. Kathy is one of the most goal-oriented people I know. But knowing her, she didn't stay unsettled for long.

Kathy continues . . .

I live life with intention, and I try not to base my to-do list on what I feel. Productivity can only happen with a plan and with discipline.

But there are times God allows us to feel unsettled because He’s about to help us let go of something and reach ahead to something different.

That’s where I am right now. Even while I wait, God is giving me peace, and I know He will give peace to you as well.

Sorting Out the Essentials

I’ll never forget the year we moved from a 4,100-square-foot historic home to an 800-square-foot rental. As you can imagine, it took a great deal of sorting our belongings into essentials and non-essentials. Learning to prioritize what to keep, what to sell, and what to store helped.

I asked myself these questions.

• Is it necessary?
• Will it go with my new surroundings?
• Do I have room for it?
• Will I miss it if it’s gone?
• Does it have special meaning to me?

These questions also come to my aid when I ask God to help me prioritize my life choices.

Is it necessary? When our choices match up with the direction of God in our lives, the Holy Spirit gives us a satisfied peace.

Will it go with my new surroundings? Our locality dictates how we can best reach others for Christ. There are different cultures and traditions we must learn and adapt to (without changing biblical doctrines, of course).

Do I have room for it? There are many good options, but God doesn’t expect us to have room for each one of them in our lives. He will help us determine how to best use the abilities He has gifted us with for His glory and for the good of others.

Will I miss it if it’s gone? I’m sensing God is leading me to let go of some things in my life to make room for the new. This question helps me sort it out and add the essence of what I might miss into a new option.

Does it have a special meaning to me? We allow so many mundane, ordinary activities to fill our lives that we lose our joy. Will the love, joy, and peace in my life bubble over and splash on others so they can experience how special a life in Christ can be?

Do you have any extra life baggage you need to get rid of?

Letting go will deliver a new parcel of peace your way. We can do that as we seek God’s direction.

Those who love your instructions have great peace and do not stumble. (Psalm 119:165 NLT)

There are two great benefits to loving God’s instructions. When we desire to obey His Word, we have all the resources we need for great peace and the ability to not stumble.

There’s never enough reserve in our own selves to work up even a limited version of peace, let alone a God-sized portion of peace. But the good news is that we can always find peace as we find our way back to God.

 You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! (Isaiah 26:3 NLT)

This is one of my all-time favorite Bible verses on peace in Scripture.

Questions to Ask Yourself

• How do you fix your thoughts on God?
• Where do you tend to let your thoughts be focused instead?
• What does trust have to do with being kept in perfect peace?
• What does fixing your thoughts on God have to do with experiencing perfect peace?

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13 NLT)

Paul gave the Romans so much rich detail regarding the victory we can have as we determine to grow in trusting God.

There is something special about seeing words such as fill, completely, and overflow. We often study about peace because we do not feel filled to overflowing!

If we’re honest, sometimes, we feel empty or drained.

Is there an area in your life in which you are struggling to trust in God for your peace?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Today’s Upgrade with Dawn is inspired by Kathy’s latest Bible study, The Grin Gal’s Guide to Peace. Consider using one of Kathy’s books for your next small group or study. More information at www.kathycarltonwillis.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Aaron Burden at Unsplash.

'Wait-Lifting' for the New Year

Kathy Carlton Willis, God's Grin Gal, always encourages readers to see life through a biblical perspective and not lose their joy in life. In this New Year's UPGRADE, she addresses the topic of patience—when and how to cultivate it.

“We often comment on how good or bad our waiter is at a restaurant, but I’m not earning any good waiter awards these days when it comes to waiting on life stuff,” Kathy says.

Waiting is hard for me (Dawn) too. Patience is definitely a character trait I need to cultivate! Kathy has wise, helpful counsel for all of us.

Kathy continues . . .

Probably the hardest thing for me, and most of you, is the trial of hurry up and wait. Left unchecked, it tests my patience, challenges my contentment, and sours my joy.

If you are in a season not of your own choosing, you might find yourself wishing for something different or more.

Answers or solutions.

In this era of supply chain shortages, there are much more serious shortages going on.

When it comes to waiting, a lack of patience will practically do us in.

Sometimes, we need the delay for God to prepare us for the answer He is customizing for His purpose to come true in our lives.

Our job when we sense silence on the other end of our prayers is simple.

Wait.

And in the wait, we trust.

And in the trust, we grow patience.

And when patience has grown up, it becomes endurance.

Then we’re ready to run the faith marathon designed with us in mind.

Isn’t it curious that the very thing that causes us to feel impatient is an example of God’s patience? We think He’s being quiet, or even absent from our lives because of our situation. The opposite is true—He is forever present with us.

Having God with us is more important than having—well, anything!

When we have that, the weight of the wait is lifted. (The best kind of “wait-lifting.”)

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” (James 1:2–4 NLT)

Patience is only developed during the wait, never in the rush.

What happens when we wait impatiently? Whether we wait with patience or impatience, it takes just as long, but when we’re impatient, we’re miserable.

Let’s trade our impatience for a new coping skill to help reframe our outlook.

How to Develop Your Patience Muscle

Patience is never more needed and never less present than when we are dealing with a time-out or pause. It’s always best to develop patience ahead of time so that muscle memory shows up when you need it.

Here are some tips.

1. Galatians 5 lists patience as a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

That means it’s up to the Holy Spirit to act in patience through us, and it’s up to us to be yielded to the Spirit.

What does it mean to be yielded or surrendered to the Spirit? It involves us being willing to follow His lead instead of the selfish desires that contradict Scripture.

2. Don’t expect your circumstances to change.

Patience is pumped up just like working a muscle during weightlifting—when it is tested.

3. Know that all human beings struggle with impatience, and only a few learn to be patient during difficult times.

It’s easier to get frustrated than to have faith, and our go-to tends to be in crisis mode rather than choosing to be in Christ.

4. Patience needs to be stored up ahead of time for when you need it, and it gets depleted easily.

Being in God’s Word and talking with Him in the good times banks spiritual fruit for you to have available during the bad times.

5. If you find yourself lacking patience, look through God’s eyes of grace toward the situation or person frustrating you.

This will allow you to put up with much more.

6. Sometimes the person you need to have patience toward is yourself.

Reduce your unrealistic expectations. Allow more do-overs. Confess your flaws to God and ask Him to transform your life.

7. When you realize that your purpose in life is so much bigger than this current circumstance, your ability to be more patient will flourish.

Strive to look at the big picture—the kingdom picture.

8. Patience helps you trust God more.

Trusting God helps you build more patience. They go together. When you have something to hang your hope on, you can wait with patience for all the details to be worked out according to God’s purpose.

9. If you are a Christ follower, you are a temple of God, and conduit for the Spirit to flow through you.

Patience moves unhindered through open conduit but is restricted when that conduit is plugged with pride and self.

10. When you choose to be impatient, you willfully refuse God’s equipment to help you cope with your current situation.

Patience is an act of obedience—evidence of a yielded, Spirit-filled life.

11. Practicing patience is not the same thing as stagnating.

It doesn’t mean you are complacent or compromising. It means you are content in the wait but eager with hope for the next God-thing. It’s not passive.

Patience is active—acting on God’s Word to stand your ground until He moves you on.

12. Patience gives you time to grow a more intimate relationship with the Father.

What New Year’s goal will you set to strengthen your patience muscle?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Today’s Upgrade with Dawn is inspired by Kathy’s latest book, Your Life on Hold: Don’t Hate the Wait. Consider joining one of Kathy’s groups for 2023. More information at www.kathycarltonwillis.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Andrea Piacquadio at Pexels.

Guardrails for Your Heart

Kathy Carlton Willis writes with whimsy and wit, insight and encouragement. In this Wellbeing UPGRADE, she shares four ways to protect our hearts.

“Lately, I’ve been told I’m more guarded than I used to be," Kathy says. "I’m afraid of being burned again. There are times to be cautious, and times to be more open.”

I (Dawn) think everyone has been hurt in some way. We do tend to guard our hearts, but not always in a healthy way. I appreciate Kathy's insight into how we can guard our hearts in good, biblical ways.   

Kathy continues . . . 

In fairytales, the castle often has amoat surrounding it and only those permitted to enter are allowed to use the drawbridge. The moat provides a way to guard the property from intruders.

The Bible talks about guarding our hearts and I wonder if we can use a moat-method to protect what God values—our hearts.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” Proverbs 4:23 (NLT).

First, what is the heart?

We know the Bible isn’t talking about the muscle that pumps blood to the rest of our body. It is the inner being that includes our mind, will, soul, and thoughts.

It is our decision maker. Our thoughts define who we become. In this way, it is the source of our authentic identity.

What we let in to our hearts helps determine what we feel and what we choose.

It is vital to guard our hearts and minds! When we guard well, we use God’s discernment gift to grow in wisdom.

What are the enemies of our hearts?

Anything that tries to come against us and derail us.

We need to protect our hearts from whatever is likely to interfere with what Eugene Peterson called, “long obedience in the same direction.”

• Enduring faith is threatened by doubts and discouragement.
• Being overwhelmed by stress and fatigue endangers what makes every day the potential for a good day—a God-day.

A moat helps protect what is valued from potential threats. But what if we are the worst enemy of our own hearts?

Sometimes we allow too much time exploring our thoughts and our feelings, and it hinders us from what is best for our inner being. In this case, a moat won’t protect us!

Let’s use a different image than a moat, then.

What if we used GUARDRAILS to keep us from going off track?

Personal Guardrails

1. Maintain your heart on a regular basis.

Look how the NKJV words our verse (Proverbs 4:23):

“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.”

I think of the road crews I see working on guardrails—and the signs they post to be careful when damage is done.

2. Tap in to God’s peace.

When we experience God’s peace, He equips us with what we need to guard our hearts.

The key is the last part of the following verse—to live in Christ Jesus.

“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NLT).

3. Store up God’s Word.

Stock up on supplies—in this case the words in the Bible have the power to help us guard our hearts.

The guardrail is in place so we don’t stray from God’s will.

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you” (Psalm 119:9–11 ESV).

4. Treasure heavenly things, not earthly ones.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21 NLT).

As you can see, guardrails for our hearts don’t just magically appear. We have to build and maintain them. It is important work.

The heart is not only what we take to heaven with us when we die, but it helps us as we represent the King here on earth.

We can tell what’s in our hearts by evaluating what we say:

"But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them" (Matthew 15:18).

We may not live fairytale lives, complete with castles and moats, but we get to serve a King who blesses us with heavenly treasures. The drawbridge leading to Him is Jesus Christ.

When He dwells in our hearts, we have yet another reason to put our guard up—to have restricted access to our inner beings: we don’t want to allow anything to compete against Jesus for lordship in our lives.

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong” (Ephesians 3:17 NLT).

What guardrails will you put in place to protect your heart?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Her latest books are The Grin Gal’s Guide for Wellbeing: Being Well in Body, Soul & Spirit, and the ancillary product, The Grin Gal’s Planner for Wellbeing. Set yourself up for success by joining one of Kathy’s virtual wellbeing groups. More information at kathycarltonwillis.com.

Preparing for the Holidays

Kathy Carlton Willis is a mentoring master, helping people achieve their goals through a practical, biblical focus, and challenging them to embrace good choices for their wellbeing. In this Christmas UPGRAGE, she offers helpful strategies for health and weight control.

“I love the holidays," Kathy says, "and unfortunately, I inherited the food-as-a-love-language gene from both sides of my family."

Hmmm. I (Dawn) think we must be related, because I have that gene too. But Kathy doesn't stop at acknowledging a problem; she's determined to offer creative solutions!

Kathy continues . . .

While others are gaining the holiday five to ten pounds, my goal is to hold my own.

In Kathy-math, that’s like losing during other times of the year. That way, when I dive into “getting back on track” on January 2, I don’t have that extra holiday weight to lose as others do.

See? It’s a win! I’ll be ahead of the game.

What is YOUR holiday strategy?

I’m finding a variety of methods to enjoy the holidays without setting back my health and weight-loss progress. Sometimes, implementing what I know goes better than at other times!

Accountability helps. And keeping close touch of my WHY.

Let’s savor the flavors for our holiday meal, but not for weeks on end. Be mindful to eat well when we’re celebrating, but eat for being well the other meals.

One of my holiday meal plans is to allow myself to eat what we don’t commonly have throughout the year.

• I can forego the mashed potatoes on my plate, knowing I can have them next time we have roast or meatloaf.
• We seldom have homemade yeast rolls, so it’s worth not eating other carbs to enjoy those fluffy orbs of goodness.
• When it comes to dessert I choose the pumpkin pie option and don’t eat the pie crust.

Here Are Some More Tips

1. If you’re going to a buffet or potluck, look over the whole food line before choosing which ones you’ll put on your plate.

Better to savor some of the food than be miserable after eating all of the food.

2. Eat slowly, enjoying conversation as much as the food.

Ask others questions and invest in truly listening. Reminisce favorite family memories. Tell younger generations stories of their ancestors.

3. After you finish your plate of food, offer to serve others.

Refill glasses. Delay seconds or dessert.

Let your food have time to catch up with you so your brain starts to register that you are getting full.

4. When you decide you are finished, pop a mint or piece of gum to freshen your breath.

Put on some lipstick. You’re less likely to want to mess that up with more food!

5. Choose extra activity to offset the extra food intake.

Make group activities a new family or friend tradition.

Go to an area known for Christmas lights. Park the car and walk as a group to see the decorations.

Be sure to have on light colors or reflective gear so you don’t get hit, and carry a flashlight. Or think ahead and give everyone in the group a glow necklace to wear. (Or even some twinkly Christmas light necklaces!)

6. Bring a healthy recipe option to carry-in dinners.

Make it so good, others can’t believe it’s healthy. They’ll start asking for it at future gatherings.

7. Make the non-food parts of the holiday shine more.

Focus on the love. Make new memories.

8. Have a plan for the day before and after a holiday to eat more produce and proteins.

Clean eating helps offset one day of savoring special foods.

9. Make an extra effort to get more sleep.

We need it more than ever during the holidays, and it truly is the one thing that affects wellbeing of body, soul, and spirit.

Let’s focus on being good caregivers of our bodies this season of worship and turn down what doesn’t help us live well for God.

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12:1–2 NLT)

At a time of year when we have a lot on our plates, we need to make sure we don’t pile a lot on our dinner plates!

And for that matter, we need to reduce what we have on our life plates too—so we can truly SAVOR the SEASON.

What will you have on your holiday plate?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Her latest books are The Grin Gal’s Guide for Wellbeing: Being Well in Body, Soul & Spirit, and the ancillary product, The Grin Gal’s Planner for Wellbeing. Set yourself up for success by joining one of Kathy’s wellbeing groups, which will start in January. More information at www.kathycarltonwillis.com, or contact her for details at kathy@kathycarltonwillis.com.

Article content adapted from The Grin Gal’s Guide for Wellbeing: Being Well in Body, Soul & Spirit ©2021.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Cara Crobbelaar at Unsplash.

My Wellbeing Upgrade

I've grown to admire Kathy Carlton Willis through the years not only for her professionalism and writing expertise, but also for her authenticity and honest approach to life. In this Health UPGRADE, she invites us to ask questions that can help us be better stewards of our lives.

“This year more than ever, I’m looking for something to change,” Kathy says.

“With so much outside my control, it’s nice to find a few ways I can make a difference, especially starting inside myself.”

I (Dawn) agree with Kathy's approach. It's so easy to make excuses for our lack of progress because of circumstances. But this is not transformative, because God still gives us many choices in our circumstances.   

Kathy continues . . . 

God seems to really be impressing on me to focus on personal stewardship through seeking wellbeing and being well.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying if I do my part that God is going to heal the things outside my control. He does heal, but He often uses us broken.

Regardless, He desires that I take care of the only body, soul and spirit I get on this earth.

I realize some of you have irreversible conditions that will only recover with a God-given miracle. I’m not promising that all your health problems will go away. But we can all experience better wellbeing, and in doing so, we might see an improvement in being well, too!

Oftentimes, it’s a reduced intensity of a physical symptom, or an improved mindset, that gets us through the day.

I believe God wants each of us to do those things within our means to be healthy, such as eating good nutrition and getting exercise. He also wants us to occupy our minds with what is good and virtuous instead of what makes us feel defeated and discouraged.

By taking an active, educated part in our wellbeing, we will show God we’re willing to be responsible to take care of the resources He’s given to us and in us—that’s what personal stewardship is.

At the beginning of 2016 I started a self-improvement program that was so successful I’ve lost and kept off 50 pounds, have gone off of insulin (which doctors said would never happen after being on it so long at such a high dose), and have seen other major health benefits. I still have more weight to lose.

I had a couple years since then with health flares and weight-loss plateaus. Now I’m reevaluating where I’m at, and I wanted to share those questions with you, in case you are working to UPGRADE YOUR WELLBEING this year, too.

Questions I’m asking:

• What does optimal physical health look like for me, even if God doesn’t heal my “chronics”?
• What are “sure things” to help with physical health that are non-negotiables toward physical wellbeing? What have been my excuses for not taking care of these things?
• What are some other ideas that might help with progress?
• What will help me have the “want to”? How can I find joy in it?
• What can I reduce timewise in my schedule to give me more white space and energy to focus on wellbeing?
• What can I do to jumpstart my new dedication?
• What worked before that I can implement again? Why did I stop it? What can I do to make sure I keep with it this time?
• What worked before that I can’t do now? What can I substitute for it?
• What are my challenges to success?
• What would make me feel my best?

Questions to Ask Nightly

Think about your choices.

• How did today’s choices affect my spiritual wellbeing?
• How did today’s choices affect my emotional/psychological wellbeing?
• How did today’s choices affect my physical wellbeing?
• Did I honor and glorify God with my choices?
• Is there something I want to do better next time?
• Is there something I learned from today that will help me moving forward?

By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence (2 Peter 1:3 NLT).

We may feel inadequate, unworthy or unprepared, but God will never abandon us where He leads us. His PRESENCE will be with us and His POWER will equip us.

This includes our focus on wellbeing.

God—with His divine power, which is superior to our insufficient human power—has given us everything we need to live a godly life of wellbeing.

What is God leading you to do as you upgrade your wellbeing efforts?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Her most recent book is 7 Trials Every Woman Faces. Kathy is active as a book industry pro, and her coaching group, WordGirls, propels women toward their writing goals. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served 30+ years in full-time ministry. Check out her Grin & Grow Break video devotions on social media. For more about Kathy, visit www.kathycarltonwillis.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Spencer Davis at Unsplash.