5 Questions to Decide What Deserves Your Time

In this Time Management UPGRADE, Julie Sanders helps us consider something we all have a lot of, but often misuse—our time.

"On a full plate, not everything is equal," Julie says. "The more options, the more important it is to decide what deserves our time. How can we plan for our priorities?"

The more I (Dawn) talk to women, the more I realize how full those plates are. My own is overflowing and needs some paring down, and I have to tell you – Julie's tips here really help!

Julie continues . . .

Your plate may overflow with feedings and laundry, deadlines and events, or presentations and correspondence. If we start each day hoping important things rise to the top, we risk drowning in a flash flood of urgency and emergency.

Whatever the parts of our busy life, we can’t afford not to plan to make our priorities first. Being in the place where we need to plan is a good place to be.

By learning to count time, measure resources and compare the weight of work, we learn wisdom. The Psalmist said, “So teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12).

Counterfeit priorities will beg for attention with a simple knock at the door or chime of the phone.

Ask 5 questions to plan for the main things to take the main chunk of your time and attention. First things first.

1. What can only I do?

Some tasks require my attention. Only I can be my husband’s wife and mother my children. When God directs me to a hurting person, only I can respond in the moment.

But I am not meant to answer every problem or be the savior for every need. Can someone else meet the need?

2. What can someone else do?

When we delegate a duty to someone else, we wisely use our time. I don’t have to do every load of laundry, return every call, teach every lesson or pray for every need.

Since resources are limited, I’ve learned to let go and let others share the load.

3. What can wait?

Someone else’s poor planning does not constitute an emergency for my schedule.

It may feel good to be the “answer” to a trauma, but being swept away by the urgent requires saying “no” to other things of value. Some things can wait. When weighing a request or responsibility, ask, “Can it wait?” 

4. What can be a process?

Deadlines present opportunities to plan ahead. Choose a tool that works for you to schedule times to make progress, and resist letting longer term projects turn into last minute problems.

5. What matters most to God?

When deciding what deserves our time, consider what matters most to God. What does He consider a “priority” and what can take a back seat or fall away?

This means priorities are constantly changing, in light of how God guides our steps, including the people He brings into our lives.

Hold tightly to what God cares about, but hold loosely to the order of business on your planner.

After all, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

We don’t know how many days we have. We do know each will be 24 hours, with 365 in every year. We can’t hope or plan to do it all.

First plan your priorities and your priorities will happen first.

Is the way you spend your time a real reflection of your real priorities? How could you plan to put first things first?

NOTE: Julie created an Alphabet Priorities printable bookmark—a helpful tool for sorting through what matters most. It's available here and here.

Julie Sanders speaks and writes with seasoned wisdom. Since moving to the Northwest with her husband, Julie is numbering her days in a new season of life. As the director of early learning programs across nearly 16,000 square miles of urban and rural country, she has daily opportunities to put first things first and live out God’s priorities. Julie writes from her online home, “Come Have a Peace.”

Passing on Our Peace of Mind

When I think of the word "peace," I think of Julie Sanders. She has weathered changes recently, focusing on the Lord, and she is excited to serve Him. In this Mother's Day UPGRADE, the writes about a special kind of legacy we can leave the next generation.

"Whether we are a grandparent, mom, foster parent, or mentor," Julie says, "children will challenge our peace. Parenting is not a place to lose our peace of mind and heart. How do we keep the peace and pass it on?"

As I (Dawn) think back to my early parenting days, I have to admit many nights I pillowed my head with the opposite of peace. I think many moms today are "wired," stressed out and searching for peace too! But having peace isn't just about us.

Julie continues . . .

Since we can’t impact what we don’t possess, passing peace to the next generation starts with practicing it in our personal life.

Before we can give kids "a peace of our mind," we have to have it planted firmly in our own.

Many children are more familiar with “meltdowns” and being “stressed out” than models of calm in the commotion of a day.

Because children today live in a conflicted world, they need to see a heart of peace modeled—to take a godly, grown up hand and walk pathways of peace through uncertainty.

Only when peace fills us can it pour out of us.

1. Pursue it

Faith in Christ not only makes the personal practice of peaceful living possible; it makes it a promise (Romans 5:1). Women who believe in Jesus move from grasping for out-of-reach peace to the promise of it.

The pursuit of a calmly-confident way of living is not unrealistic for those who know Christ. God has made it possible through His Son.

Confidently, expectantly, pursue the peace you are meant to experience in this life.

2. Prioritize it

It’s never been easier to be distracted from God’s ways. Instead of hoping to receive a randomly-grown peaceful spirit, take steps to cultivate it. Plan to read your Bible, be with God’s people, and practice prayer.

Children will learn to love the peaceful life, crave it and plan for it. Instead of focusing on worldly worries in our conversations and energy, setting our mind on the Spirit produces “life and peace” (Romans 8:6). Put peace at the top of your list of daily pursuits, and those in your life will be touched and taught by the calm that comes with you. If peace matters, plan for it.

3. Protect it

Your enemy works against your desire to pass on peace. Expect to be opposed, but determine to protect the peace you need, want and value (Romans 12:18; 14:19). When relationships in your home, workplace, church, or community stir conflict and drain peace from your heart, work to stop it. Refuse to focus on worldly worry.

Choose peace and guard its place in your life. Peace is worth having to give.

4. Pass it on

The next generation looks for hope they don’t see in the world. “Is there cause for hope?” they want to know. Those who have pursued peace as a priority say, “Yes, and ‘May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope,‘”(Romans 15:13).

Women who walk in God’s peace pass on a heart and mind of peace to children who come after them. Mom? Grandma? Aunt? Friend? Mentor? Foster mom? Your gift of a peaceful life will serve the next generation well.

If we put our faith in Christ, we can expect peace of mind and heart. “And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace,” (James 3:18).

Today’s children look for grown ups walking in peace, and as they find us, they will follow in pathways sown with the seeds of peace.

Our gift of a peaceful life will serve the next generation well.

What are you already doing to cultivate a life of peace? Would those around you say you bring peace with you?

Julie Sanders, the mom of two young adults and a mentor to teens and young moms, is purposefully passing on peace to the next generations. As the director of a program in the Inland Northwest for children and families in poverty, Julie believes living out God’s peace is a powerful way to bring hope to our hurting world. She writes from her online home: “Come Have a Peace.”

Graphic adapted, courtesty of pixabay.

How to Make Friends in New Seasons

I've watched from afar as Julie Sanders made a difficult transition to a new state and new role, and I've admired her willingness to step into this new season of life. In this Friendship UPGRADE, she shares encouraging words for all of us seeking new friends.

"When we’re the unknown new girl, we need friends," Julie says. "How do we make a new life better by making a new friend?"

With a dad in the military, I (Dawn) often had to make new friends in new places. It's not often easy. Julie gives us helpful tips.

Julie continues . . . 

Friendships ebb and flow with life transitions like shifts in marital status, geography and employment. Change can thrust relationships into upheaval and leave us feeling friendless.

Whether firmly rooted in your hometown or freshly planted in a new neighborhood, you may find yourself needing a friend.

God fashioned us to walk through life with the fellowship of friendship.

Multiple translations of Proverbs 18:24 offers insight to improve relational health and help us find friends when we need them most.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (ESV)

A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. (KJV)

Suggestions for making new friends in new seasons of life:

1. Focus on a FEW.

 When events like the loss of a loved one or a major move finally crash on shore and retreat, silence follows. A longing for the familiar or a desire to quiet the loneliness may result in temptation to gather a crowd of people around us.

As ruinous as complete withdrawal, surrounding ourselves with a swarm of companions may lead to a layer of life where we are barely known and marginally valued. Instead of jumping into the rushing rapids of relationships, Proverbs cautions that having too many friends is dangerous. Since we are fashioned to walk through life with the fellowship of friends, we’re more likely to find true friendship in a few.

Scheduling coffee or lunch with every new, available woman we meet at church, in the restroom, and at the grocery store is tempting.

Instead of letting the tide take you away to avoid the tension of transition, ask God to give you a few places to invest.

2. Force yourself to be FRIENDLY.

If you’re not eagerly noting contact information when a friendly person makes eye contact, you might be the lonely woman tempted to withdraw. Solitude might feel like the safer sanctuary. After all, you might have dragged painful baggage into this season of life. Isolation might feel easier than finding friendship.

Solitude has a place in life change, but forging new relationships requires a decision to be friendly, even when we might not feel like it. 

• Make eye contact.
• Smile first.
• Introduce yourself.
• Talk to people of different ages.
• Keep an open mind and heart. God wants us to find the fellowship of friendship.

3. Don’t Forget your BEST FRIEND.

For whatever reason, you find yourself in need of a new friend. It’s a good thing to hope and pray and look for.

When you find that longed for companion, she will be delightfully imperfect, unable to meet all your expectations and beautifully flawed like you.

She will not make your life complete, and that’s okay. Someone else is the perfect friend.

No one takes the place of Jesus. Times of loneliness and longing lead us back to remembering the sweet security of friendship with Jesus. No matter what season or circumstance, He will stay with us and be our BFF.

As you show yourself friendly, focus on a few relationships and experience the friendship of God in a fresh way. God fashioned us to walk through life with the fellowship of friendship.

Look around your life. Who is a potential new friend given to you by the sweetest Friend of all?

Julie Sanders—as an empty nester and new girl in town—is making friends around her new home in the Inland Northwest. Her local and global ministry to women has given her a passion for the issue of human trafficking.  She believes life is better when the lives of women are interwoven. Visit Julie’s blog, “Come Have a Peace.”

Graphic Adapted, Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Changing the Way We Do Change

Julie Sanders' life is in flux right now with many changes, but in this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she explains how she stays grounded.

"One thing is certain about every woman’s life; it will not stay the same," Julie says. "Instead of being tormented by transitions and shaken by shifting seasons, sojourners learn how to change the way we do change."

Having experienced many seasons of unexpected change, I (Dawn) agree with Julie. We need a biblical perspective on change.

Julie continues . . .

Regardless of our time of life, status, or circumstances, we are all positioned for change. You may be coming out of a season of upheaval, in the midst of massive change or getting ready for transition. Still, we are taken by surprise, as if we hoped to escape it.

We fear it. Dread it. Try to avoid it. Yet, it comes.

Change can shake our foundation relationally, emotionally, physically, professionally and spiritually. How can a woman survive the waves without being overturned?

Every woman faces change, because every woman is “a sojourner on the earth” (Psalm 119:19). As someone who lives temporarily in a place, we stay for a time on our earthly home. Our lives reflect that transience in regular transitions.

Revolutions often include our loved ones, bodies, homes, professions and identity. We are sojourners and sojourners face change.

We can approach seismic shifts with three actions when the ground shakes and we feel it deep in our hearts.

1. Hold to what doesn’t change.

The Psalmist leaves no doubt about what deserves our trust:  

"Forever, O LORD, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens" (Psalm 119:89). 

God’s Word is reliable and unchanging, so we can hold to its truth when evaluating decisions and shaping plans. In God’s inspired Word we find comfort for the raw emotions of upheaval and confidence for boldness to move forward into new territory.

When all else feels foreign and uncertain, God’s Word is familiar and secure.

2. Look to the answers God provides.

Change surprises us, making feelings overflow in hot waves. Our own emotions are hard to trust. Well-meaning voices offer advice, but no one takes the place of our all-wise God who remains the sames.

His word is “a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105). It helps us sort through opinions and urges.

A job change, geographical relocation, new church or empty nest begs answers from our loving Father. Instead of downcast feelings, we can hope in the God our salvation (Psalm 43:5).

3. Run to God’s plan for you.

Grief, regret and questions often accompany transition, threatening to paralyze the sojourner with an overwhelmed heart. To press on, let lesser things fall away and reach forward to God’s good plan (Jeremiah 29:11). 

Determine not to turn to the left or right (Proverbs 4:27). Instead, when facing opposition or confusion, cry out, “I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart!” (Psalm 119:32) 

A sojourner may feel uncertain, opposed or weary on the journey of change, but at those moments, sojourners can take the next right step with a heart that says,

“Lead me in the path of your commandments, for I delight in it” (Psalm 119:35).

Know what will not change, look to God’s answers for your feelings, and do what God has marked out for your journey.  

We are sojourners, and sojourners face change.

What change are you experiencing in this season of your life? Are you coming out of, in the midst of, or leading up to a change? How prepared are you to sojourn through it?

Julie Sanders is a sojourner who just moved from the sweet tea South to the desert Northwest. The change collides with gaining an empty nest and leaving a professional ministry she loved. Everything will be different! She is grateful for her unchanging God and His hope-filled plans in a new season. Julie's devotional, Expectant, encourages expectant moms with truth and practical wisdom. Discover more about Julie at her blog.

Managing Your Limited Time

Julie Sanders invites women to peace in their homes and personal lives; and most of us need a lot more peace when it comes to our calendars and to-do-lists. In this Time Management UPGRADE, there are only two points—easy to remember!

“Though our to-do list seems unlimited,” Julie says, “our time is definitely not.”

I (Dawn) need to be honest here. Sometimes I don’t manage my time well. More often than not, it manages me! But I am learning to look to Jesus, who was sensitive to the Father’s will; and He is teaching me to develop that sensitivity too. I was eager to hear what Julie has to say about this “time-ly” topic.

Julie continues …

What matters most when managing the time we have?

Every woman has the same amount of time to manage, but some seem to be more productive than others. Is it just a matter of using the right planner, right calendar app or right schedule? What makes the difference when it comes to managing our days?

I’ve been using a planner for over thirty years, but I’m convinced that being a woman who manages her time well is more about perspective than planning.

To make the most of our time, we need to recognize our time is limited and our time is God’s.

“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10).

1. Our Time Is Limited.

Wanting to do good to everyone is usually not the problem. The word for opportunity, “kairos,” describes a carefully measured and definite portion. Having opportunity means we have a limited amount of time to “do good.”

Only God is limitless. If we’re going to manage our days well, we need to accept the limited nature of our time.

So often we plan as if our time and energy are unlimited, but in truth, we have a fixed amount of both.

We set ourselves up for frustration when we accept obligations and make plans as if we can live to the edge of our limitations.

Accepting the portion of time we have available removes the burden of trying to do more than we are able. God knows our time is limited and only calls us to use our portion well.

2. Our Time Is His.

Planning is essential to managing time well, but our time is ultimately God’s.

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9).

Time is a God-given resource Christian women receive in order to “do good.” When we disregard the One who gives and guides our days, we fall into selfishness that results in little “good” for others.  

Knowing that our available time belongs to God and is for His glory motivates us to use our time productively, but with willingness to accept divine interruptions. While we may begin our day with carefully laid plans, knowing our time belongs to God gives us the freedom to follow His lead and let go of lesser things.

We are more likely to be efficient, fruitful, and eternally-minded when we remember that our time belongs to our eternal God. Decisions become clear in light of using our days to please our Father.

We may feel that there are never enough hours in “our” day, but there are enough hours in “His” day to do good that honors Him.

Our time is limited, but our time is His.

How would your day be different if you accept that your time is limited and make decisions knowing it all belongs to God?

Julie Sanders, an author and mother of two nearly-grown children, has more on her to-do list than she has time for. She enjoys opportunities to minister overseas with her husband. Her local and global ministry to women has made her passionate about the issue of human trafficking. Read more from Julie on her blog.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net