Practice for Our Prince

To say Morgan Farr is strong is an understatement, but add two words to that, and it just about sums up this young mom's character. She is "strong in Christ." In this Parenting UPGRADE, she applies the word "practice" to parenting, and explains how we are to "practice" to the glory of God in our families."With children," Morgan says, "being present is more important than being perfect."

As a former homeschooling mom, I (Dawn) saw that truth in action almost daily. I am grateful I had the opportunity to spend those early days of childhood development alongside my children. I can attest that what Morgan says is true.

Morgan continues . . .

I had a basketball coach tell me once, "Practice makes perfect." At the time, I believed him.

But now as an adult, I realize that the truth is what was said by football coach Vince Lombardi:

"Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect”.

Parenting is a lot like coaching. We are given these people, and we are responsible for helping them learn and practice the fundamentals that will make them great in their lane.

All coaches deal with struggles and setbacks with their athletes. The way that a good coach battles this is by being present with their athlete—teaching, instructing, modeling, and retraining when they get off their groove.

Parenting is no different.

The most common complaints that I hear among fellow parents is as they deal with screen time, outside play, and teaching children to be selfless.

This raises the question:

As parents, what are we helping our kids to practice?

As I share with you how my family "Practices for our Prince," I want to remind you that I am not a psychologist, pediatrician, or counselor. I am a theologically-minded mother focused on raising my children to live for Christ.

Help Your Children "Practice for Our Prince."

1. Practice with Your Tools.

The first tool anyone ever owns is their own body.

Learning to eat, walk, talk, and control yourself is an early part of doing God’s work, even if it doesn’t seem like it! Teaching children to be masters of their body is so important. They have to be taught to eat well, rest, exercise, play, sleep, and care for their bodies well.

As a young child, the focus should be purely on play, as God created them to be that way for their own development.

However, as a child ages and the call God has placed on them becomes clear, learning to discipline their body so that they can perform optimally is crucial.

For example:

• If your child wants to be a missionary in a remote village where they'll have to haul water from a well, they will have to be able to haul water!
• If your child feels God is calling them to be a first grade teacher, they'd better have the mobility to get up and down off the ground over and over again in a given day!

Helping a child to be fit and active is easier if they understand the why, and it helps if they see YOU doing it too.

In our family, we eat well, walk, jump, run, skip, hop, dance, and even lift weights, so that we can be used exactly as God wants to use us!

2. Practice Being a Good Steward.

The next topic is by far the most commonly discussed. Kids go to school, do homework, and maybe they play a sport. The rest of the time, they are on their phone or computer, or playing video games.

The dreaded "screen time debate" is fairly simple in my mind.

If you are the parent, and you have decided what the screen time limit is, when the time is up, you simply turn off the screen!

There are a LOT of apps and devices that can help you manage screen time well. (Contact me if you need some recommendations.)

The best way I have found to talk to my kids about screen time is to draw a PIE CHART of their day.

• Fill in how much time they spend, and show that time is a gift from God.
• Teach them that we want to be a good steward of the time God has given us.
• This means no more than—fill in your designated amount of screen time here—per day.

And parents, hold to this as well. Keep YOUR screen time in check so that you are helping your child practice appropriate boundaries and maintain focus.  

Here's a Hint:

Practice Being "HANDS and FEET."

In order to encourge children to limit screen time, help them cultivate their bodies, and be present in the world.

Mark 12:31 tells us to “love our neighbor”—so get out and do it! Be the hands and feet of Christ.

• Volunteer with the church nursery.
• Go paint your elderly neighbors fence.
• Arrange to help the expecting mother on your street every week when she brings in her groceries.
• Is your church hosting a VBS? Volunteer to set up and break down.

Open your eyes—and your children's eyes—to the needs around your neighborhood, church, and local community. Lead your children by example.

Show your children what it means to work hard as the hands and feet of Christ.

3. Practice What You Preach.

This is perhaps where we can have the greatest impact of all, by praying for our children without ceasing.

• Tell them you are covering them in prayer,
• Pray for them out loud and by name, and
  
• Pray for them silently as you work.

Keep a prayer journal so you can look back and see all the ways God answered prayers with both "yes" and "no" answers. Teach your children that God’s answer of “no” is just as important as His answer of “yes”.

Finally, even with excellent practice, no one can be truly perfect. Only Jesus did that.

While we may train a child in the way he or she should go, children still have free will and sometimes they choose differently than we hoped that they would.

Pray fervently for your children, help them practice as they grow, and release them well to the plan that God has for them.

Which practice will you take up this week?

Morgan Farr is a Texas-loving, succulent-cultivating, book nerd and aspiring author. Stationed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, this Army wife is learning to train dogs, developing her four young children, and tackling homeschool life… while moving all over the country. Morgan believes in integrity, authenticity, and grit. Although she writes for many different publications, you can almost always find Morgan’s most recent ramblings on her blog.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Filip Urban at Unsplash.

Love Your (Actual) Neighbor

Letitia Suk writes about renewal and restoration for every season of life. In this Ministry UPGRADE, she encourages women to reach out to neighbors—actual neighbors—with genuine, practical love.

"We might not know our neighbor’s political leanings, religious beliefs or child-rearing philosophies," Letitia says, "but we share a sidewalk, shop at the local markets, and send our kids to the same school around the corner. It is a good start!"

The Lord recently spoke to me (Dawn) last Christmas about reaching out to my neighbors with more than the annual Christmas treats. He drove home the true meaning of "love your neighbor" (Mark 12:30-31). I know what Letitia says is true!

Letitia continues . . .  

While it may have seemed that the market was right or the schools good or you just stumbled upon the place you’re living, each one of us has been hand-picked for this time and place. The Bible says in Acts 17:26, “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places that they should live.”

That means our neighborhoods.

Six single-family homes, five two-flats and one multi-unit building comprise my corner of the world—and that’s just our side of the street. 

For sale and for rent signs go up and down, as do the moving vans on the street, especially in the spring and fall. A transient culture we have become, but yet, like relatives, we all have neighbors.

Whether your address belongs to one building, part of a larger complex, a college dorm, a rural lane, or a military unit, God has chosen others to share the turf with you.

Though you might end up only knowing a few of them well, they all are a part of your world.

• Busyness hounds all of us.
• The neighborhood community of previous generations seems part of nostalgia. 
• Most of us are scrambling just to find more time to talk to our kids, let alone our neighbors. 

A wave on the way into the car, a summer chat over a fence, or casual conversation at a condo association meeting seems all we can manage most days.

“Love your neighbor” was God's idea.

It's part of “The Great Commandment” even non-churchgoers are usually familiar with.

Do you ever wonder what He had in mind for your block?

Here are some ways to reach out that have worked in the forty years we have been on our corner:

1. Bedtime Prayers. 

I read about someone who would mentally go up and down the street—when she couldn’t sleep at night—and pray for the neighbors, even the ones she hadn’t met.  That is easy to do not just in sleepless nights but on walks around the block as well. 

Prayers for blessing, health, strong families and spiritual renewal are a very effective way to be a good neighbor.

2. Feed the hungry.

A meal for a family with a new baby, a loaf of banana bread for a new neighbor, a glass of iced tea for a mutual dog walker have all been easily offered, gratefully received. 

Having something already prepared and frozen or stored can help you be ready when a need arises, and it will.

3. Lend a hand. 

Or a shovel, couple of eggs or good recommendation for a plumber! 

Often, I start the exchange by being the borrower. Asking for gardening advice or a certain spice I forgot to buy for a recipe has opened not only many doors to me, but hearts as well.

4. Share the celebration. 

Fun can abound in a neighborhood!

• An invitation to a watermelon party to meet some new neighbors came our way last summer. 
• Another friend shows movies on the side of their garage for the locals. 
• When a lady on the block finished her graduate degree, we were all invited to celebrate with her.
• Neighbors know they are welcome in our back yard on the 4^th of July.

Most of these events did not involve elaborate food, expense, or housecleaning and were great opportunities to connect.

5. Spread the word. 

When I wanted to learn how to be a better mom, I invited other moms from the neighborhood to join me over coffee and book discussion. 

The next book we discussed was the Bible as a Biblical view of parenting emerged from the first group! A couples group came out of that one and more groups followed. 

Our kids are grown and gone now, so my hanging out on the sidewalk days are few. The mom down the street who used to push her own children around the block in an old buggy now strolls her grandchildren around. The little boy on the block now has his PhD.

Additions get built, fences added, newer cars replace older ones in front of the homes. 

In spite of the changes in the neighborhood, the command to love those in it still stands.

Much good neighboring still happens one on one. 

Often an available listening ear is the best way to love your neighbor. True stories of parents in pain, job distresses, and bad health reports have come my way. These outpourings, sometimes spontaneously offered, often lead to prayer and resulting changed lives. 

Don’t be surprised if you become the neighborhood chaplain!

How do you think God is calling you to connect with YOUR neighbors?

Letitia Suk invites women to chase the intentional life. She writes and speaks of renewal and restoration, offering platters of hope to women in each season of life. Her blend of humor, stories and grace propels audiences towards a fresh experience of God. A retreat guide and life coach in the Chicago area, she loves to walk by Lake Michigan, browse resale shops and create new family traditions. She authored 100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens; Getaway with God: The Everywoman’s Guide to Personal Retreat; and Rhythms of Renewal. She and her husband, Tom, are parents of four grown children. Check out her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Pixabay.