Taking Care of Yourself as a Leader

Nali Hilderman teaches women in a biblical framework, and in this Leadership UPGRADE she encourages women in leadership to take time to rest and refuel.

“While leadership can be incredibly life-giving and exciting," Nali says, "there are times when it is draining and exhausting too.”

Oh Nali. That is so true. Leadership can be a blessing and a burden at the same time. The Lord calls us to be wise in balancing our schedules—to build our lives, not just the lives of others.

Nali continues . . . 

As a leader, are you weary? If you’re anything like most other leaders, I would venture to say that your answer is yes! 

While leadership can be incredibly life-giving and exciting, there are times when it is draining and exhausting too. It’s the excitement of influencing others and utilizing your gifts that make leadership worth it in the long run, but what do you do when you find yourself in those seasons of weariness?

And how can we work at preventing those seasons? 

It may seem selfish or counter-productive to do this, but Christ, the perfect leader, provided an example of this during His ministry when He left the crowds to spent time with the Father or just the disciples (Luke 4:42, 5:16; John 13). And He encourages us plainly to come to Him when we are tired and weary so He can help us (Matthew 11:28-29)!

Therefore, I want to suggest three ways to take care of yourself as a leader so you can continue to be effective in loving and serving others.

1. Participate in Life-Giving Activities

Most of us have activities that bring us deep joy and provide “soul time” that are not related to our work as leaders. It may be exercise, art, reading, spending time in nature, napping, cooking, taking a bubble bath – or any number of things!

Sometimes our schedules are so busy that we feel like we don’t have time to do anything but what’s already on the calendar, but if we are to continually pour into others throughout our day, we must find time to participate in activities that provide respite for our soul.

I challenge you to discover these areas and set aside time in your calendar to participate in them!

2. Find Others That Pour Into You

As a leader, you are probably constantly pouring into others around you. This is usually very life-giving and one of the main reasons we get involved in leadership in the first place, but, do you have someone pouring into you? Do you have a mentor? Do you have friends, or a small group of people that you do not “lead” that refresh and revitalize you and care for your soul? 

This is absolutely vital as a leader to have others lead and guide you so that you are refueled to lead and guide others. 

Scripture is full of examples of the life-giving nature of the body of Christ. See, for example, the relationship between the Apostle Paul and Timothy as Paul instructs, encourages and mentors the young minister in Ephesus (1 Timothy 1; 2 Timothy 1). I encourage you, likewise, to seek out and spend time with these vital care givers in your life on a regular basis.

3. Find Sustenance from the Lord

For many of us who are leaders in Christian ministry, there’s a tendency to always “do ministry”—even in our personal time with the Lord.

As a leader, it is vital that you protect your time with the Lord as just that – YOUR time with the Lord.

Make sure that you are abiding in Christ for yourself, not your ministry, for apart from Him we can do nothing (John 15:5). 

And the Word says that if we seek Him and His Kingdom first (Matthew 6:33), then all other things shall be added to us. How is your time alone with Christ? 

How’s your weariness level? How are you doing in taking care of yourself regarding to these three areas? Making sure you take care of yourself is vital to continuing to love and care for others as Christ has commissioned you!

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College and Director of the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology, trying to make sense of how to be a confident, successful Christian woman who does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. She attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, CA.

Graphic of woman in nature, courtesy of Morguefile.

Rethinking Single Leadership

A strong woman of purpose, Nali Hilderman encourages women—both by her teaching and in her life example—to embrace Christian leadership at all ages and stages of life. She knows this is difficult for some single women.

“If you’re feeling unimportant in your singleness,” Nali said, “I’d like to challenge you with a biblical perspective.”

When I (Dawn) was a young single woman, a Christian ministry offered me strong reasons to see my singleness as a gift from God. I'm so glad Nali is addressing that in this Leadership UPGRADE.

Nali continues . . .

While there are many examples in the Bible of women that God used—some married, some single—we should focus on obedience to Him in whatever stage of life we find ourselves.

Nowhere does the Bible indicate that your ability to make a difference for Christ and His Kingdom is dependent on your marital status. 

However, I know sometimes it can feel like you’re overlooked and unimportant in the Church if you don’t have a husband and family. 

Here are three reasons you really do matter in the Kingdom of God.

1. Rethink Leadership.

We often tend to think that leadership is about position, personality or platform, which includes certain “requirements” you may feel you don’t have as a single woman. 

The reality is, leadership is mainly about the ability to influence others, serve them and—in Christian leadership—point them towards Christ. 

These things you can do successfully, regardless of whether you’re married or not. 

“Leadership is being alive with truth and love in your sphere of influence.”

That is something anyone can do!

Focus on those God has placed in your path, and work on serving and loving them. This is the most powerful form of influence.

2. Examine and Use your Spiritual Gifts.

Just as there is nothing in Scripture that indicates the gifts of the Holy Spirit are either “male/female,” so there is no designation that some gifts are given to married people and some are for singles.

Because of this, take time to find out what your gifts are and set about using them for the edification of the Church (1 Corinthians 12:7).

You can take free online tests to find out which gifts are your strengths.*

Also, spend time studying 1 Corinthians 12 to learn what the gifts are, what their purpose is, and how each gift is important in the body of Christ.

3. Steward Your Time.

I know this sounds cliché, but as singles we often have more time on our hands than our married friends. Paul is speaking truth when he says married people are concerned with the affairs of their spouse and needs of their children, while single people are “concerned about the Lord’s affairs” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35). 

I know it’s easy to spend time focusing on what we don’t have, but ask yourself, “Am I being a wise steward of the time I have now? Am I serving the Lord—using my gifts to edify the Body of Christ?”

You have the ability to make a significant impact on others during your singleness.

These are three important ideas regardless of what season you find yourself in, but they are especially challenging if you are single and feeling like you cannot have an impact for Christ.

You do matter in the Kingdom of God!

If you are single, which of these three points is hardest for you? What can you do to increase your effectiveness for the Kingdom of God?

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College, and Director of the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology. Always seeking how to become a confident, successful Christian woman, she does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. Nali attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, CA.

* Two free Spiritual Gifts tests are here and here.

Graphic adapted, image courtesy of pixabay.

A Woman after God's Own MIND

Nali Hilderman delights in helping women become confident, Biblically-solid women of God. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she offers an interesting twist on a familiar scripture.

“While it is easy for us as women to desire to be a woman after God’s own heart, and much Christian literature is directed toward this notion,” Nali said, “I suggest that the foremost way to pursue this is first to become a woman after God’s own mind!”

As a woman who encourages biblical thinking, I (Dawn) appreciate Nali’s perspective. God can only transform us as we align our thoughts with His.

Nali continues . . .

Many of us have probably heard the oft-quoted phrase from scripture that David was a man “after God’s own heart, one who would carry out God’s will” (Acts 13:22). If you’re anything like me, you’d love for that to be your epitaph—what a high and laudable attribute! 

We want to "carry out God's will," but how, exactly, do we do that?

Romans 12:2 says that it is the transformation and renewing of our mind that helps us to know and do the will of God.

There are two key areas where women need to be “after God’s own mind”: the first is in His thoughts towards ourselves, and the second is in His thoughts towards the world around us. 

If we focus on guarding and girding our minds in these two areas, I believe it will lead us straight to the heart of God and we will become women ready to carry out God’s will.

1. We have to change the way we think that God thinks of us as His daughters. 

We must look at how God, through the person of Jesus Christ, interacts with women in the gospels and remember that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). 

Scripture says there is no condemnation for those of us in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) and that His thoughts for us are greater than the grains of sand on the seashore (Psalm 139:17-18).  If we are followers of Christ and have accepted his atoning work on the cross then we are found in Him and are co-heirs of the Promise (Romans 8:16-17)! 

If we could truly know and understand His mind toward us, then a radical and profound transformation would begin in our lives.

Take some time today to reflect on whether you’re thinking God’s thoughts towards you as reflected in His Word, or if your thoughts align more with the Enemy.

2. We need to change the way we think regarding the world around us. 

Paul says God is reconciling the world to Himself through the person and work of Jesus. We are His ambassadors and have been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-21). Scripture also says “we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10). 

Sisters, we are called of God to join Him in the work of bringing Christ’s redemption to this world. Let us learn and be intentional about the areas where we can get involved. We have exciting work to do! 

Wherever your specific sphere of influence is today, ask yourself if you are an ambassador for Christ and His work of reconciliation in that sphere. 

As we continue to pursue changes in these two areas of our mind, we will continue to find the renewal of our hearts and become more like the Lord.

As you consider whether you are a woman after God’s mind, which thoughts need to change? Thoughts toward yourself, or thoughts toward the world?

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College and Director of the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology, trying to make sense of how to be a confident, successful Christian woman who does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. She attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, CA.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Leadership: A Tale of Two Cities

Nali Hilderman’s love of women’s history and Christian theology gives her an impassioned desire to help women make a difference in today’s culture. In this Leadership UPGRADE, she challenges our thinking.

“While there are many different theories regarding leadership,” Nali says, “there are some key differences between how the world defines it and how the Bible defines it.”

I (Dawn) love to read leadership blogs—both Christian and secular, and I know she is right. A biblical perspective on leadership not only changes our motives; it also changes our methodology.

Nali continues . . .

In the fifth century, Saint Augustine wrote a now famous treatise titled “The City of God.” Augustine explained some key differences between the rule and attitude of the “city of man”— ruling empires of the world—and the “city of God” (which is made up of the followers of Christ and His church). 

This idea of comparison can be applied to theories related to leadership in today’s modern world. While there are many different theories regarding leadership, there are some key differences between how the world defines it and how the Bible defines it.

Colossians 2:8 commands us not to be taken captive by philosophies of this world, but rather to focus on Christ.

As Christ’s followers it is wise for us to understand these distinctions and seek to live out the principles of the City of God in our leadership.

Distinction #1

The City of Man considers power over others as a key component of leadership. Society tends to laud those who are wealthy, powerful and successful as leaders.

However, the City of God considers serving others as the key component of leadership. Christ admonished His disciples when they asked who will be the greatest among them. He told them they are not to rule as the Gentiles do. He says that the last shall be first in the Kingdom of Heaven and that He Himself did not come to be served, but to serve (Matthew 20:24-28). 

Ask yourself, “How am I using my leadership in regard to others? Am I lauding my power over others, or am I serving others for their betterment?

Distinction #2

The City of Man considers influence as a key descriptor of leadership. Society tends to value the number of blog posts, YouTube views, Twitter followers, and albums sold as indicators for who is “leading.” Often, leaders in the City of Man wield their influence for selfish and worldly gain. 

While the City of God also values influence as a key component of leadership, the purposes driving influence are wholly different.

We are not to lead for selfish gain, but are commanded in scripture to not think more highly of ourselves than we ought.

Also we are to pursue compassion, love, righteousness, and truth (Philippians 2:3-5, Colossians 3:12-15).

In his book, Creation Regained: A Reformational Worldview, author Albert Wolters challenges:

"Anything in creation can be directed either toward or away from God—that is, directed either in obedience or disobedience to His law. *

As you lead today, take time to reflect on whether your leadership is turning people towards fulfilling their own selfish ambition or towards a spirit of love and truth.

How you are wielding power and influence in the lives of others? Have you been “taken captive” by the world’s philosophy of leadership, or are you a woman pursuing the City of God and leading others in a biblical way?

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College and Director the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology, trying to make sense of how to be a confident, successful Christian woman who does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. She attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, California.

* Albert M. Wolters, Creation Regained: Biblical Basics for a Reformational Worldview, (Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co, 2005), p. 49.

How Does a Woman Honor God in Leadership?

Nali Hilderman is a confident, radiant woman of God who is careful to seek God for wisdom. In this Leadership UPGRADE, she offers solid, biblical counsel.

“If you find yourself in a position of leadership or power as a woman, you can honor the Lord in more ways than one,” Nali says. “Leadership and honoring God as a female are not mutually exclusive.”

      

I (Dawn) think this is such a timely post. The news lately is packed with all sorts of opinions about what women ought to be doing in regard to their position, status and role in the world. I appreciate Nali’s biblical perspective on women and leadership.

Nali continues…

As a college professor I often have young women seek council on career advice. Many of them wonder if they are wrong if they want to go graduate school or pursue positions of influence in the culture, because they wonder if that lines up with the biblical passages from scripture. 

I counsel many of these young women to seek hard and pray harder how they are supposed to glorify God with their lives, gifts and talents, and yet do so in a way that honors His design for their femininity and speaks truth to our world. 

If you find yourself in a position of leadership or power as a woman, you can honor the Lord in more ways than one.

Leadership and honoring God as a female are not mutually exclusive.

Here are three suggestions to act in a way that is honoring to Christ.

1. Check your motivation. Why are you in the position you are in, or why do you seek such a position? Is it because you have an “ax to grind” or is it because you believe it is the best use of your giftings?

Ask yourself, as you pursue potential career options or job positions, how you can seek to serve Christ in that position.

Often times we tend to seek power or influence because we want to make it “all about us” and fulfilling our desires and needs. Pray that you would follow the words of Colossians 3 when it says to “do everything” as unto the Lord.

2. Seek an attitude of “power under” as opposed to “power over.” Christ says the greatest in the Kingdom are those who love and who serve, and that is something all Christians should emulate.

Those in positions of power have a great opportunity to serve those around them with the love that God has poured out. Doing so from a position of power can speak the Gospel to those who need to hear it.

As our supreme example, Christ Himself (the ultimate position of power) humbled himself, became a man and chose not to be served, to but to serve.

3. Remember the Created Order. God’s Word seems to be very clear that there are specific designs and roles for men and women, yet all are created in His image – the Imago Dei. As a woman in a position of power, one must be careful to always remember that all humans bear the image of God and deserve respect and love.

Are you committed to treating both men and women around you in a way that honors the Imago Dei?

The issue of women in leadership seems to be increasing in 21^st century society and it is a difficult subject that often is filled with confusion on many levels. As Christian women serve in these positions, we must continue to seek the Lord in how we can do so in a way that honors Him.

Has God given you a position of leadership or do you have a desire to be a leader? Do you need to consider one of these suggestions as you move forward? Which is the most difficult for you?

Nali Hilderman is a professor of American history at San Diego Christian College and Director of the college’s Dr. Henry Morris Leadership Program. She studies women’s history and Christian theology, trying to make sense of how to be a confident, successful Christian woman who does not buy into the secular feminist mentality. She attends Journey Community Church in La Mesa, CA.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net