A Safe Person

Kathy Carlton Willis has a unique identity—she's "God's Grin Gal!" and she models how we can trust God with the tough circumstances of life. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Kathy points to places of safety for our lives—special friends and the Lord Himself.“Do you ever feel like running or retreating for respite from stress?” Kathy asks.

Yes, I (Dawn) have often needed a safe place. But it hasn't always been easy to find one. Kathy makes that a lot easier with her biblical insight.    

Kathy continues . . . 

It means a lot to have a safe place when I need to escape.

When I was a young married woman, my place was about fifteen minutes from home. Far enough away to give me time in the car with music blaring to decompress.

I bolted to the Mohican River. When I arrived there, a quaint old bridge transitioned me from chaos to calm. I tuned in to the sound of rippling water. Nature showed off in every season. God met me there.

I realized I wasn’t running away from something—I was running to Someone.

A safe place led to a safe Papa.

“This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him” (Psalm 91:2 NL).

A Safe Person

My friend Laurie felt safe reaching out to me for prayer on several small issues that happened in the same time period. They were pushing all her buttons—even ones she didn’t know she had! She felt ashamed to admit the struggles.

But as soon as she reached out for prayer, she said it started getting better. It released the pressure.

She then stopped fuming and had some devotional time. That always helps.

By the end of her ordeal, she was even able to laugh at the things that annoyed her and could greet the button-pusher with sincerity and open arms.

I am truly grateful for our friendship. There are times I reach out to her for similar support.

When we discussed why we feel comfortable doing this, we decided it’s because we have the safety net of unconditional love.

Yes, when we take our burdens to someone, the best one is God. But sometimes—as the little girl famously said—“Sometimes I need someone with skin on.”

That’s where a good friend comes in. How do we find someone who is safe with all our “stuff”?

Finding a Safe Friend

Who is a safe friend?

1. Someone who doesn’t gossip about others to you. They will be more likely to not reveal your secrets to others.
2. Someone who recognizes you have a need without your expressing it.
3. Someone who listens to your struggles without having to fix the problem or fix you until you ask for help.
4. Someone who doesn’t make you feel ashamed when you confess flaws.
5. Someone who doesn’t always have to bring their story into the conversation when you confide in them.
6. Someone who loves God and is growing in their spiritual maturity.

Think about friends who care for you in these special ways.

A friend will take care of you—body, soul, and spirit.

1. BODY

I used to joke (with all truth) that I picked my closest friends based on if I wasn’t embarrassed to ask them to take care of me physically, when needed.

• The one who would tweeze my chin hairs if I couldn’t do it or couldn’t see them.
• The one who would transfer me from the wheelchair to the potty chair or shower chair.

Not many friends fall in this category. Can you think of the ones you’d be comfortable serving you in this way?

2. SOUL

Friends who nourish my inner being are extra special.

These are the ones who dive deeper. The ones who know what I’m probably thinking (even if they disagree).

Yet they don’t jump to conclusions because they want to give me a safe space to express myself.

They listen in a way that makes me feel seen and heard.

3. SPIRIT

What friends spur on your spiritual growth?

They don’t have to be further along in their faith journey to help you with yours. They simply need to love Jesus and the Bible and want to respond in ways that make you feel closer to God.

A Safe Papa

I told Laurie, if we feel safe sharing with each other, just think how safe our words are with God!

We might be shy or ashamed to tell Him about our frustrations and flaws, but God's unconditional love means we can go to him without being afraid of being scolded.

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (1 John 4:18 NLT).

God is the believer's SAFE PAPA!

Who is your safe person?

Kathy Carlton Willis is God’s Grin Gal. She writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Over a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published and she has several books in her Grin Gal brand. Her latest book is 7 Trials Every Woman Faces. Kathy is active as a book industry pro, and her coaching group, WordGirls, propels women toward their writing goals. She graduated with honors from Bible College and has served 30+ years in full-time ministry. Check out her Grin & Grow Break video devotions on Facebook. Discover more about Kathy on her website.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Pexels at Pixabay.