Three Mindsets that Can Derail New Beginnings

Joanie Shawhan knows about new beginnings. She has overcome much, and shares suggestions for helping others overcome obstacles in life too. In this Goals UPGRADE, she shares three mindsets that can derail new beginnings."New beginnings can be exciting," Joanie says. "But sometimes new beginnings are the result of painful circumstances."

I (Dawn) know exactly what Joanie's saying! When I got a "new beginning" with a stem cell transplant, my nurses sang, "Happy Birthday." But knowing I had a new beginning and acting like I did were not the same thing. There were debilitating attitudes I had to overcome. Joanie writes about three big ones in her own life.  

Joanie continues . . .

God often uses life’s difficulties to move us forward, change our direction, or give us a new purpose.

For me, a diagnosis of ovarian cancer opened a door I never dreamed possible.

I sensed the Lord leading me to write my cancer story in a book I would’ve liked to read when I needed encouragement and support. A book that would validate my own cancer and chemotherapy experience.

I felt overwhelmed.

Surely, God couldn’t be asking me to write a book. I had no writing experience.

But God places dreams in our hearts bigger than we could ever imagine—dreams only he can fulfill. If God called me to write, He would fulfill His word and enable me.

But in order to walk out this new call, I needed to align my thoughts with the Word of God.

Moses had warned the Israelites of three wrong mindsets that could derail God’s purposes for them when they were on the verge of entering the promised land. I also needed to be alert to these pitfalls that could divert me from God’s path.

Three Wrong Mindsets

1. Fear.

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NLT).

When God called me to write In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer. I thought, God, this is too big for me.

Voices clamored in my head.

Writing a book is too hard. What if I fail?

Just as Moses instructed the Israelites not to be afraid, I also needed to remember God’s past faithfulness. He would lead me through every step in the process of writing and publishing.

If I had succumbed to the mindset of fear, the book I had wanted as a resource wouldn’t be available to help and encourage other women.

2. Pride.

“He fed you with manna in the wilderness, a food unknown to your ancestors. He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. He did all this so you would never say to yourself, ‘I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy’ (Deuteronomy 8:16-17 NLT).

When I’m stuck in a mindset of pride, I think I can accomplish God’s plan through my own effort.

I need to humble myself and accept the counsel and help from others in the industry, including their constructive criticism.

Ouch!

I am grateful to my editors, mentors, and critique partners whose only desire is to improve my writing and help me succeed.

3. Forgetfulness.

“Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful,” (Deuteronomy 8:18 NLT).

Even though I worked hard, my success was not based solely on my efforts. I could not have accomplished my dream without God’s help and the help of many others.

I am grateful to God for His mercy, grace, and continual reminders of how much I need Him.

When I said yes to God, I never imagined the doors God would open for me.

• He led me step by step through the process, and directed me to attend writing workshops so I could learn the craft.
• He provided me with a mentor, a writing critique group, and multiple other connections to help me reach my goal of publishing my book.

Whether I’m in the messy middle or have completed my project, I need to be aware of these stumbling blocks so I can avoid them.

These pitfalls will hinder my walk with God and the fulfillment of my God-given dreams. He wants to fulfill His promises to me. But I need to walk into these promises His way, not my way—and not on my own.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” (Romans 8:28 NLT).

God delights in fulfilling His promises and the dreams He’s placed in our hearts—His way.

How can you avoid these pitfalls when your trials open doors to new beginnings?

Joanie Shawhan shares true-life stories, offering her reader an eyewitness view of the action. Her Selah Awards Finalist book, In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer, reflects the value of “Your story plus my story become our stories.” An ovarian cancer survivor and registered nurse, Joanie speaks to medical students in the Survivors Teaching Students program. She co-founded an ovarian cancer social group: The Fried Eggs—Sunny-Side Up. Publishing credits include: Guideposts Divine Interventions, Snapshots of Hope & Heart, Wit, Whimsy & Wisdom, Life Repurposed, and We May Be Done But We’re Not Finished. Follow Joanie at www.joanieshawhan.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Silviarita at Pixabay.

Follow Me As I Follow Christ

In this Christian Living UPGRADE, I (Dawn) want to inspire readers to inspire others in 2020—all to the glory of God!

One of the most difficult comments I received several years ago was this: "Who do you think you are? Do you think you are on some sort of pedestal?"

It was a hard comment to receive. At first, I reacted. "And who do you think YOU are ....?"

But then—upset that I reacted so quickly—I chose to respond in prayer.

I asked the Lord, "Is there some element of truth here?"

As it turned out, there was. The Lord showed me a strong streak of pride.

I did have a lot to be proud about.

But I was proud of the wrong person.

I should have pointed people to Jesus—the One who enables us to accomplish great things for His glory.

Since that time, I've been intrigued by the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:1: "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (NIV). Or in the Amplified version: "Imitate me, just as I imitate Christ."

From the human standpoint, Paul had every reason to be proud of himself and his accomplishments.

Even before his conversion, Paul was a deeply religious man. A model Jew. He wrote, "If anyone else thinks he has reason for confidence in the flesh, I have more"—and he described his high religious pedigree (Philippians 3:4-11).

Paul wasn't being arrogant or smug. He was just being honest.

But then, becoming a Christ-follower changed Paul's heart. He saw his incredible spiritual heritage in a new light.

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ," he said. "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord" (Philippians 3:7-8a).

He saw his good works as "rubbish" (v. 8), because he knew his true righteousness would only be found in Jesus.

"... not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith" (Philippians 3:9).

Paul trusted only in the work of Jesus for him on the cross. He no longer wanted to boast in good works and accomplishments.

Rather, he boasted in his weakness so that Christ's strength would be perfected in and manifest through him (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

And he said, "Follow Me."

As I read of Paul's change of heart, I find his invitation to believers to follow him as he followed Christ so beautiful.

It is the humble spirit that best points to the One who deserves true praise.

God opposes the proud, but He gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5b-6). And out of that undeserved grace, we praise Him. We exalt Him.

No one but Jesus is perfect, but we are made righteous in Him (Romans 3:22a; 5:1).We are not yet sinless, but hopefully we are cooperating with the Holy Spirit and growing into Christ-likeness (Romans 8:29).

Certainly, we will fail the Lord many times this side of heaven, but He still calls us to follow Him. Trust Him. Obey Him. And make Him known.

We should want our words and deeds to inspire others to follow Jesus.

When we fail, we confess our sins to God and if need be, to others (1 John 1:9; James 5:16) and we continue to grow in grace (2 Peter 3:18a).

At the beginning of this post, I wrote about a comment that revealed to me my strong streak of pride. But many things have changed in my life since then. One of the biggest changes is the unexpected "gift" of disease that has taught me to follow Jesus more closely, so aware of my own needs.

A recent comment to me—and I give God all praise and honor for this—shows how the Lord can use us as we are vulnerable and honest about our struggles and yet trusting in Christ's sufficiency.

A friend said something like this: 

"Thank you for encouraging me to follow Jesus. Your faith and obedience have inspired me, and I love Jesus more because of you."

Those words brought tears, because I know my heart's new desire is to put Jesus on the pedestal He so highly deserves.

So yes, friend.... follow me as I follow Christ.

I may trip and fall, but I am on the right path. And I want you to walk with me.

How does your life inspire others to follow Jesus? What might need to change so others will want to walk with you?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator the blog, Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for women's teacher and revivalist, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, at Revive Our Hearts, a blogger at TrueWoman.com, writes wiki-type posts at  Christianity.com, and is a regular columnist at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in sunny Southern California, and Dawn has traveled with Him in Pacesetter Global Outreach. They have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Graphic adapted, Footprints in the Snow, Wallpaper courtesy of yesofcorsa.com.

7 Steps to Resolve Conflict (Hint: It Takes Humility!)

Susan K. Stewart is a practical gal with a lot of wisdom. In this Relationships UPGRADE, she shares important, biblical steps to resolving relationship conflicts.

"'Not again. How many times can he preach on this subject? Who is it stirring up trouble now?' Those were my thoughts," Susan said, "when I read the sermon title: 'Resolution: The Matthew Solution.'"

Like Susan, I (Dawn) have been uncomfortable in church, wincing with the pinch of a convicting message and wishing the pastor would move on to a less painful topic. Or at least, preach it to someone else! It took me a long time to understand it was really the Spirit of God tugging at my own heart.

Susan continues . . .

A recent undercurrent of discontent infected our congregation. That is often a problem in groups of people We are, after all, sinful humans who happen to be saved by grace. Conflict among Christians should not be a surprise.

“How will he admonish us this week?”

I had developed a terrible attitude about the whole situation. I sat trying to be attentive for that grain of truth God had for me.

Somehow I missed it.

During the following week, God led me to the book of James. I focused on James 4:7-10.

My heart opened to what should have been a no brainer, clear steps to resolving conflict.

1. Submit to God

No matter the circumstances, submit to God. Ask for his wisdom to see the truth, not the colored viewpoint of humans.

Be willing to follow him, wherever it may lead.

2. Resist the devil

As we submit to God, we resist the devil. But the attacks will continue during the peacemaking process.

Satan wants to convince us that we aren’t at fault. He says following God’s way is troublesome, a lot of work, and a hindrance to the outcome we want. As humans, what we want is peace at all cost and to look like the peacemaker.

3. Draw near to God

The more we resist the devil, the closer we move to God. As we move closer thim, the better able we can resist the devil.

The closer we are to God, the more we will be able to remove our own desires and submit to God’s.

4. Cleanse your hands

Here’s where the rubber starts to screech along the road.

What? Me, the sinner? We’ve become ingrained with the truth in Matthew 18: go to the one who has sinned against you. Instead when there’s a clash, we should be looking at our own sin.

“First take the log out of your own eye” (Matthew 7:5 NASB). We need to face our own sin before we confront anyone else’s.

5. Purify your heart

Is the goal of conflict resolution to make everyone happy? Or is it reconciliation with God?

To approach a solution to the friction, our own hearts need to be clean. This is done by seeking to please God, not other people.

Not everyone will be happy, but God will be delighted.

6. Be miserable and mourn and weep

Sin is the root of the strife and we should be saddened and repentant.

As we submit to God’s authority and purify our hearts, we come to realize how destructive our own sin is in the conflict.

7. Humble yourself

Humility isn’t weakness; it is the opposite of pride.

How often is pride the sin at the heart of discord? Humility is the admission we can do nothing on our own.

When pride takes hold, we think we have the solution to any problem. But only God is the true peacemaker.

Don’t worry; you’ll have an opportunity to put these steps into practice.

The next time conflict resolution is the topic of a sermon, article or conversation, remember James’ steps to peacemaking.

Resolve the strife in yourself, and then you will be prepared to help others.

Is there a conflict in your life? How will you follow James’s steps to resolve it?

Susan K. Stewart—when she’s not tending chickens and peacocks—teaches, writes and edits non-fiction. Her passion is to inspire readers with practical, real-world solutions. Susan's books include Science in the Kitchen, Preschool: At What Cost? and the award-winning Formatting e-Books for Writers. Learn more about Susan at www.practicalinspirations.com

Let God 'Skim Off' Your Pride

Pam Farrel’s books for women have both encouraged and challenged me. This Attitude UPGRADE is one example of how God spoke through Pam to confront my own pride.

“One of the ugliest sins I ever had to confront was my own pride,” Pam wrote in Woman of Influence.

When I (Dawn) first read that, I thought: There are a lot of sins that are uglier than pride. But then the Holy Spirit started chiseling away on my own heart, showing me my own nasty pride. Pam’s right. It’s UGLY!

She continues …

Everywhere I turned, God was pointing out pride. All the illustrations I heard in sermons, all the topics at a conference I attended, all the conversations with other women of influence centered around pride.

I caught myself wondering how I could be guilty of pride, since so often I battled a self-confidence problem. Then God pointed out:  

Oversensitive low self-esteem is pride turned inside out!

When I battle low self-esteem, I am still focusing on me. I am concentrating on seeking approval and encouragement. My eyes are on my needs, when God wants my eyes on Him.

During that time, God brought to my mind all the ugly words I had never voiced but had thought.

• Why is she so rich when I have just as much talent?
• Why is she teaching when I know as much as she does?
• Why is God blessing that ministry with huge numbers instead of ours?

In my complaints, I was telling God that His plan was wrong and mine was right.

Pride made me play God in my own life.

My heart was broken over my sin. I got away to a private place with God; I fell to my knees and wept. I listed every good thing, every compliment I could remember, and I thanked God for what He had accomplished through me, or rather in spite of me.

When goldsmiths create pure gold, they heat up the fire, and the dross and impurities come to the surface. The goldsmiths skim off the impurities until they can see their own reflection in the gold.

The author of Proverbs says, "The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the heart" (Proverbs 17:3).

God’s grace brought my pride to the surface to be skimmed off. I wanted the impurities taken out of my life until people could see God in me.

Afterward, I wanted to keep my confession between God and myself, but God stoked up the fire again. I felt that He wanted me to openly confess my hidden sin of pride. I was afraid of the criticism my confession would bring on me. After all, I was a leader. I should have dealt with pride long ago.

God showed me when He wanted me to confess, and to whom.

I was discipling a small group of women leaders, and I shared my confession and restoration with them. Later, on a Sunday night, I stood up in front of our congregation during a share time and told the highlights of what I had learned from God.

I knew then I was free, because I didn’t care if they thought less of me; God had accepted me by His grace. My slate was clean.

I did hear some criticism through the grapevine, but mostly I felt personal relief for a burden laid down.

And there was another benefit: a new transparency developed in those who were following my leadership. Because I was honest enough to expose the ugliness of my sin, others felt free to ask for help with hidden areas they had battled for years.

Do you struggle with the ugliness of pride? Bring it to God and allow Him to skim it off and give you a pure, humble heart.

Pam Farrel  with her husband Bill, are  international speakers, and authors of over 40 books including best-selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti, Woman of Influence, 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, 10 Secrets to Living Smart, Savvy and Strong, and her newest, Becoming a Brave New Woman. The Farrels, married 35 years, are relationship specialists who help people become “Love-Wise ."