When It's Best to Hold Your Tongue

I “met” Lina AbuJamra when I read one of her books, Thrive, a book primarily for singles. I was impressed with her grasp and practical application of biblical truth. I recently saw a post she wrote for a True Woman ministry and wanted to share it, with her permission, with UPGRADE readers so we can Upgrade the use of our tongue.

“I talk too much,” Lina wrote. “Way, way too much.”

Lina had me there … I just finished a discussion with my husband Bob about how I tend to talk too much in the car. Maybe it’s because poor Bob is a captive audience.

Lina continued …

But God is committed to teaching me when to hold my tongue. With that in mind, let me share ten situations where I'm learning it's better to refrain from talking:

1. When you have no idea what to say

Proverbs 17:28: "Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent."

2. When you're wrongly accused

1 Peter 2:23: "When he was reviled, he did not revile in return."

Isaiah 53:7: "He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth."

3. When you're mad

Proverbs 25:28: "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control."

4. When you're confused about life

Lamentations 3:25–28: "The Lord is good for those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord . . . Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth to the dust—there may yet be hope."

5. When you wouldn't want someone else to find out you said it

Luke 12:3: "Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops."

6. When you don't really mean it

Proverbs 3:28: "Do not say to your neighbor 'Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it,' when you have it with you."

7. When you can't stop yearning for the good old days

Ecclesiastes 7:10: "Say not, why were the former days better than these? For it is not from wisdom that you ask this."

8. When you have a lot to do and you don't like it

Philippians 2:14: "Do all things without grumbling or complaining."

9. When the timing is wrong

Proverbs 25:11: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in setting of silver."

10. When you don't have anything to say that gives grace

Ephesians 4:29: "Let no corrupt talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear it."

Got any other tips on when to refrain from talking? Share them with our UPGRADE readers.

Lina AbuJamra is a Pediatric ER doctor, author, and speaker. Her passion is to apply her life-saving, decision-making, and hope-giving skills from the Emergency Room to rescue and recover people from spiritually deadly situations. Lina shares stories of faith at her popular blog. She has written two books:  Thrive: The Single Life as God Intended,  and Stripped: When God’s Call Turns from Yes to Why Me? Lina lives alone in Chicago, although she does have many friends. You can connect with her daily at livingwithpower.org.

Six Secrets to 'Superb Communication'

Whether we are preparing to share a testimony, give a devotional, or create a message or lecture, there are some basic things we can do that will help us UPGRADE our communication. 

Meet Maria Keckler, founder and director of Superb Communication, who offers some wise advice. These tips can also help with our social media communication, and we may even be able to apply most (if not all) of these “secrets” to our communication in personal relationships! Superb communication makes a difference anywhere!

SUPERB COMMUNICATION INFOGRAPHIC

Did you get those steps? Superb communication tells a story, and is useful, prepared, eloquent, reliable and brief—to the point.

Which communication secret do you think would most UPGRADE your communication to others?

Maria Keckler is a speaker, author, and the president of Superb Communication, a consulting firm that specializes in improving results and reducing the cost of change through more robust communication. Read about and download Maria's latest tool that helps improve productivity by 30%.