To My Children's Biological Mothers: My Heart Hurts for You

This Biblical Thinking UPGRADE by Julie Watson is a bit of a departure from our typical UPGRADE posts, but her message is one we all need to consider, and her "letter" to her children's biological mothers is a good read in itself.

Julie writes, “A child born from the heart is just as precious, just as significant, as one born from the womb.”

I (Dawn) remember when I wanted my husband to bring home an orphan from Russia for me to love and take care of. That didn't work out for me, but I've always had "a heart" for children who need a home. And the plight of the unborn in this country—don't get me started!

Julie continues . . .

This topic is heavy-hitting and hard to write about, but it’s my heart’s desire to honor God above all else.

He has impressed upon me that this is the time to share: 

We are in a season of substantial harvest.

For far too long a great divide has split this nation on matters of life and death—for the unborn.

Even among Christians, there seems to be a debate as to what’s “allowable” or “tolerated” in dealing with an unplanned or crisis pregnancy.

I worked for years in different pregnancy resource centers and saw hundreds of women come through our doors in the midst of a crisis pregnancy. It was never pretty.

Every individual had a story.

• Some were downright heartbreaking.
• Some were getting a second perspective from a doctor who was advocating for an abortion due to special circumstances.
• Most, unfortunately, were looking for a way to “get rid of the problem.”
• A good number of women came into our clinic thinking it was the Planned Parenthood just down the street from us.

Yet, those who came in for a free pregnancy test and ultrasound were undoubtedly changed, regardless of their decision to either continue or terminate their pregnancy.

Why?

Because they could not deny the life growing inside them once they saw and heard it with their own eyes and ears. And, once they opened their heart to truth, they usually chose life for their child!

We need to do more than just open our eyes—we need to see with our hearts.

If you’ve asked the Lord into your heart, then the Holy Spirit resides there. And, if He is there, guiding your heart, then you cannot deny what He reveals.

Nearly every woman who had an ultrasound cried when she saw her preborn child bopping around in her warm, protective womb.

My heart hurt for her.

To think that your “only choice” is to end your child’s life—heart-wrenching indeed!

Yet, when I hear Christians defending abortion, I get physically ill.

This is NOT God’s heart.

The sanctity of human life is, at the very core, His most important and significant creation. He created every single life with a divine purpose.

Jeremiah 1:5 tells us He knew us even before He formed us in the womb.

That means that we communed with God before He breathed life in us and placed us into our mother’s womb!

Jeremiah 29:11 tells us He has plans for us, to prosper us, not to harm us; to give us a hope and a future!

This gives me chills every time I think of it.

Why? Because when I see Jesus again, it won’t be for the first time—it will actually be a reunion of my spirit and soul with my Heavenly Father’s.

I also come to this issue with an adoptive mother’s heart.

I never had the joy or pleasure of being able to conceive and birth my own children. My children came from two different biological mothers who we pray for regularly.

The circumstances that landed my kids in foster care at very young ages were not pretty by any means. I have seen them at their worst and at their best. I’m thankful those really worse days are mostly behind us now.

However, when I hear the abortion debate lead down the road toward abused kids in foster care, I’ve had enough!

Have you heard that excuse yet? The one that says abused children would have been better off aborted (dead) than allowed to live through their horrible and traumatic circumstances.

Seriously?

With that logic, why should ANYONE ever be born? We all go through horrible things in life—but God created us to OVERCOME!

To my children’s biological mothers, I write:

"My heart hurts for you. I never had the joy or privilege to conceive and birth my own children—cancer took that ability from me—but I also can’t imagine losing them! I could not be more grateful for a chance at motherhood through God’s divine plan of adoption.

"I know you were very young, not emotionally stable or mature enough to be a mother. You had addictions that took your eyes off your number one priority—your children—and kept you imprisoned by your sickness.

"You did hurt them, make no mistake, but they forgive you and so do I.

The reason the kids love you is that you CHOSE to let them live. Even in the midst of your difficult circumstances, you did not abort them, and they are extremely thankful! You gave them a CHANCE to fulfill all that God designed for their lives—and they are going places. Each of them has amazing resilience and determination, something they might not have had if they hadn’t gone through what they did.

"You LOVED them enough to let them go, even if it wasn’t your desire. You didn’t fight the courts, and that’s honorable knowing there was a chance they could be adopted by a good family providing them opportunities you couldn’t provide. Sacrificing your desires for the sake of another’s needs is the most loving thing you can do.

"Lastly, we are praying for you. My kids do not want their birth mothers to perish; they want you to know the saving grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. They all love Him and pray you do too!

"In Christ,

"Your kids’ mom"

So, where does your heart lie when you reflect on life of the preborn? Does it align with the Father’s?

If not, really pray and ask God why. There is likely a deep-seated reason, and you may need counseling to bring it forth and deal with it.

Healing begins by acknowledging the pain or fear that imprisons us.

Lastly, ADVOCATE for the preborn in one or more ways the Holy Spirit leads you:

1. Vote for pro-life candidates.

We need to change the laws of our nation.

Did you know that Norma McCorvey (also known as “Jane Roe” of Roe v. Wade), later became a Christian and pro-life advocate, trying to overturn the landmark law her case created? 

2. Donate your time, talents and/or treasures.

Pro-life efforts are the most powerful at the grassroots. That means your local pregnancy resource center needs your support!

3. Get involved in your church and community.

Become a pro-life point of contact assisting those in your neighborhood to get the help and resources they need if they are dealing with an unintended pregnancy.

The unborn voiceless need a protective voice, and ours is the only one they’re going to get in this world today.

If not us, than who? If not now, when?

Will you join me in defending these precious lives the Lord masterfully created?

Julie P. Watson is a Certified Health Coach and Author. Her cancer testimony, and how God healed her, can be found in Made to Overcome: Chronic Illness Edition. Julie is currently working on two more book projects: a 52-week devotional for foster and adoptive parents called, Simply Devoted, and, her own personal journey through the foster care system and subsequent adoption of three beautiful children. Julie worked in pregnancy resource centers and children’s ministries for 10 years as a Development Director, Executive Director and Grant Writer before becoming a stay-at-home mom to her kids. She and her husband, Shawn, live in San Diego with their precious family and several pampered pets.

5 Ways to Impact the Abortion Crisis in America

Morgan Farr takes tough stands because she is a strong woman with a tender heart. In this Biblical Thinking UPGRADE, she urges Christ-followers: Don't be complacent when it comes to protecting the unborn.

"This summer season has been rife with discussions about abortion laws across the world," Morgan says, "but especially in the United States of America."

I (Dawn) remember years ago when Christians in churches all across our nation were moved to pro-life action, but recently wondered, "Where are the YOUNG VOICES crying out for the lives of the unborn?"

Thank the Lord, Morgan is a powerful young voice!

Morgan continues . . . 

With the retirement of Supreme Court Justice Kennedy, an open seat on the Supreme Court of the United States means that the landscape of abortions in the United States could be about to change.

With roughly 3,657 abortions happening every single day in the United States, abortion is a topic that the body of Christ needs to address. But this is the point where many Christians get uncomfortable because they don’t know what to do or say.

 In fact, 57% of Millennials don’t know even the most basic facts about the landmark case Roe v. Wade^[1] which legalized abortion in the United States.

So today, I am going to share my top five ways to impact the abortion crisis without relying on emotional arguments.

1. Understand the Terminology. 

There are a lot of labels that are bandied about in the abortion debate, but they all fall into one of two camps:

You either support abortion or you don’t.

The pro-life one is pretty simple, you believe life begins at conception and you are therefore you do not support abortions.

Meanwhile, the pro-choice label is really just brilliant marketing. What it means that you believe women should have the right to choose to end the baby’s life.

Pro-choice is often interchangeable with pro-woman, meaning that if you really care about women then you believe they should be able end a baby’s life. If you are not pro-choice you are almost always labeled as anti-woman.

2. Understand the Science.

The number one argument that most pro-choice advocates use is that the woman has a right to choose to end a pregnancy because the baby isn’t a person yet. The baby will, oftentimes, be referred to as “the fetus” (Latin for offspring) to help in the dehumanization.

This is the most basic way that abortion advocates have skewed the way people think about unborn children—by connecting development with personhood.

However, stage of development does not, in fact, define personhood.

Personhood is defined as "the quality or condition of being an individual person."

The exact moment when a sperm penetrates the egg, an entirely new organism is formed called a zygote, and it is the earliest stage of human development. The zygote is composed of brand new human DNA, meaning it is entirely unique. This unique zygote will develop for the duration of his or her time on earth.

The development goes like this:

Zygote, fetus, baby, toddler, preschooler, grade schooler, teenager, adolescent, adult.

The zygote carries the same completely unique DNA all the way through development into adulthood.

The person is the same unique person, with all their own qualities from conception to death. This means that in the act of abortion (whether chemical or surgical) the woman is killing a unique individual, not a portion of her own body.

3. Understand the Impact.

In 1973, the Supreme Court of the United States decided in the case of Roe v. Wade that abortion is legal. It also set guidelines in place breaking pregnancy into three trimesters.

 The guidelines for each trimester are:

• 1st trimester—The state cannot regulate abortion (due to the woman’s right to privacy) aside from requiring that the medical procedure be performed by a licensed doctor in medically safe conditions.
• 2nd trimester—The state may regulate abortion if the regulations are related to the health of the pregnant woman.
• 3rd trimester—The state may prohibit abortions unless abortion is necessary to save the life or health of the mother. (This means that the state can protect the life of the unborn child because the life’s potential outweighs the woman’s right to privacy).

According to the National Right to Life Committee, there have been approximately 60,069,971 abortions performed legally since the 1973, Roe vs. Wade decision.

That means that roughly 1 out of every 4 people from “Generation X” didn’t get a chance to live.

In a recent poll, a Public Religion Research Institution survey gathered that 65 percent of 18- to 29-year-old Americans believe that abortion should be legal in almost all cases. ^[2]

This means that the numbers of unborn children lost to abortion will only climb in the future unless something is done to end the massacre of unborn children. 

4. Vote in EVERY Election.

In the United States of America, we have the privilege of electing the executive, legislative and judicial branches of our government. Get out and vote in every single election.

Local votes matter; midterm elections matter.

Do your own research. Find out about each candidate’s stance on abortion and vote accordingly.

Encourage your friends and family to vote. Help to get people to the polls by organizing a carpool.

5. Pray, Pray and Pray Some More! 

Prayer is the single most important aspect of having an impact on the abortion crisis in America.

 I cannot emphasize this enough.

• Pray for wisdom for our country’s leadership.
• Pray for those writing the laws to be convicted about the murder of unborn children.
• Pray for the women who are seeking these abortions.
• Pray for the men who helped to conceive these children.
• Pray for the American people to wake up and realize that “aborting a fetus” is just a pleasant way of saying “murdering a child”.

To put it in perspective for you, roughly one fourth of my generation didn’t survive “choice”.

Psalm 139:13-16 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

  If we truly believe that the Bible is the Word of God and we are to follow His instruction we cannot stand idly by any longer as the abortion industry robs the world of its future.

It is our responsibility as Christians to stand up for those that are being massacred on the altar of sex without consequences.

How can you make a difference in the abortion crisis this week?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed in San Diego, California, with her wonderful husband Brian and their three small children. Morgan is a homemaker who dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring and physical training. Morgan writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog, The Forgiven Former Feminist. You can find her training programs, nutritional information and meal plans on her blog, Farr Functional Fitness.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Ashton Mullins at Unsplash.

Footnotes:

^[1] https://www.prri.org/press-release/young-people-set-impact-debate-womens-health-issues/

^[2] http://thehill.com/hilltv/what-americas-thinking/395824-dem-pollster-millennials-think-roe-v-wade-happened-after-the