Well Done or Burnt Out?

Kathy Carlton Willis knows a lot about living under pressure. I've followed her and her husband during a difficult year, and she focused on the Lord to keep her faith strong. Kathy also knows a lot about the stress of burn-out, and in this Spiritual Life and Self-care UPGRADE, she shares wise counsel.

"Sometimes I wonder if my efforts will lead to me hearing 'Well Done' or being burnt out," Kathy said. "Let's look at the recipe for finding the balance."

I (Dawn) think this is such a vital topic in our busy, busy world. Several years ago, I almost totally lost my ministry because of a health issue related to burn out. Loving friends did question all I was doing at the time, but I wish someone had pulled me aside and asked tough accountability questions about my priorities and why I was doing what I was doing.

Kathy continues …

In most recipes, the difference between making a crispy creation and a delightful dish is in two variables. Time and temperature. (Just like the old phone service you could call for that information!)

Getting the best out of life for God’s BIG glory without burning out requires those same two variables. Let’s take a look at them.

1. Time

• How long do you spend on the things that require your attention during your waking hours?
• How long do you sleep and rest between periods of busyness?
• Do you have time to add something new to your schedule, or do you need to delete something before you add anything else?

2. Temperature

• How hot does your passion burn for your specific projects?
• How consistent are your efforts before you need to take a break?
• Do you get bored easily with the project?

Oftentimes we evaluate the ingredients of a recipe to determine if it will be a success, when the real issue is to make sure we have the time and temperature set correctly.

It’s wise to ask God to lead in adding to or taking away from your workload. Seek Him to reveal what activities tickle your taste buds. And follow His lead when it’s time to take it easy for a bit.

If it’s been a while since you had a day you could label BLESSED REST,  then you probably need a day like that!

Overdo or overdue?

Are you on the verge of burning out? I realized it was time to slow down and relax when I wrote the following paragraph to my mom:

“I want one day to relax and do what I want, when I want.

I haven’t had one of those in a LONG time. Overdo.

Sort of my Merry Christmas present to myself!”

See the problem? I spelled “overdue,” overdo. And that was the problem.

I was overdoing it—rest was overdue!

We rarely will admit we’re burning out until it’s too late. The toast is already burnt. We’ve pushed the time and temperature too long, too hot. 

And you know what happens when you let the toast burn? It stinks! It stinks when we push ourselves too hard, as well. We’re no good for anyone, at that point.

Let the toaster cool off and add more bread. You rest, then decide what God wants you to add or subtract from your life schedule to fuel your passions and feed your purpose without overdoing it!

Burnt Out?

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. (Galatians 6:9 KJV)

Well Done?

His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful and trustworthy over a little, I will put you in charge of many things; share in the joy of your master.” (Matthew 25:21 AMP) 

When you seek Jesus to be Lord of your life (Master) and are faithful in His instructions, seeking to be effective for the success of the Kingdom and not merely personal success, you will hear Him exclaim about your work, “Well done!”

Where are you headed—to hearing “Well done” or being burnt out?

Kathy Carlton Willis shines for God, reflecting His light as a speaker at writer's conferences and women's retreats, and as an author - contributing to three books and writing hundreds of columns and articles online and in print publications. She wrote Grin with Grace with AMG Publishers and has several books releasing over the next few years. She and her husband Russ live in Texas with Jazzy, their hilarious Boston Terrier.

Complex Carbs - and the Complexity of Burnout

Rhonda Rhea. Always leave it to this funny lady to link life's crazy moments to something life-changing. In this life and Ministry UPGRADE, she talks about carbs, coffee and where our real energy originates.

"I may look calm on the outside," Rhonda says, "But on the inside I’m frantically trying to digest ridiculous amounts of complex carbs without storing cellulite."

Carbs. Cellulite. Got my (Dawn's) attention there. Unfortunately. But what's Rhonda really saying?

Rhonda continues…

Time to up the metabolism, I’m thinking. Seems the logical fix would be coffee. That’s why I figure I’m helping things along if I drive through for a grande mocha latte with extra whip.

Someone told me that the average person drinks 22 gallons of coffee a year.

I’ve also heard it said that the average person walks about 8,000 miles a year just going about the regular routine of everyday life.

Surely that’ll work off that extra whip.

So it looks to me like we’re getting about 363 miles to the gallon. Talk about sustainability. Suddenly that four-dollar mocha is a responsible purchase, right?

Burning carbs is one thing. But burning out is another.

In the stresses of going about the not-always-so-regular routine of Kingdom work, it’s easy to become not just over-whipped, but over-worked, over-tired and overwhelmed.

Some of the complex warning signs of burnout?

• A soul-weariness—tiredness that rarely goes away.
• There’s a “spinning your wheels” frustration—feeling that though you’re running yourself ragged, you’re not really making a difference.
• Resentment builds and starts replacing the joy once found in working for Jesus.
• It’s difficult to love Him well and even harder to love His people.
• You find yourself fighting a strong desire to isolate yourself.
• Loneliness, negativity, cynicism and hopelessness creep in. 

What do we do when we feel “whipped”—in the non-creamiest way?

1. We run. We run to the only One who can heal a heart and refresh a spirit.

2. If there’s sin in the way, we get rid of it.

Spending time on our faces in prayer, getting truly honest with the Father, starts the healing.

3. We immerse ourselves in His Word. It’s there we find direction, strength, wisdom and restoration.

4. We determine to stay plugged into people and find a godly confidante.

We were designed with a deep need for that people-connection.

5. It’s also good to take a look at the schedule and get rid of clutter.

Get some rest.

The truth is,

God never calls us to do anything He doesn’t equip us to do.

In essence, He won’t give you more miles to walk than He gives coffee to get you there.

When we have more than we have time and energy to do, we’ve added to the to-do’s ourselves. As we pray through our schedule asking for direction, He is faithful to give wisdom in knowing where to back off and where to press on.

Our love and service for Him? In those we press on. Always.

I love the “press on” kind of encouragement found in Hebrews 10:35-36.

“Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away—and enjoy to the full—what is promised” (AMP).

“Enjoy to the full.” I do love that. Not only does it make me think of mocha, but it reminds me of the blessing in not giving up. He strengthens the tired heart. He’ll enable you to do everything you really need to do.

“He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it” (1 Thessalonians 5:24, ESV).

Knowing it’s all His strength—that’s invigorating! More energizing than the strongest mocha. With never a carb left over.

Ready, willing and revved up to press on? His Word and His presence does that! In what might the Lord be calling you to press on?

Rhonda Rhea is a humor columnist and the author of 10 nonfiction books, including Join the Insanity—Crazy-Fun Life in the Pastors’ Wives Club and Espresso Your Faith—30 Shots of God’s Word to Keep You Focused on Christ. Rhonda also coauthors fiction with her daughter, Kaley Faith Rhea. Their first novel, Turtles in the Road, releases soon with two more completed and coming soon. Rhonda speaks at conferences and events all over the country and she and her daughters host the TV show, That’s My Mom, for Christian Television Network’s KNLJ airing in mid-Missouri.

Graphic, "Dreaming Girl with Cup of Coffee," image courtesy of alex_ugalek at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Are You Flirting with Burnout or Action Addiction?

Joan Webb encourages women to breathe. She knows the stress our constant struggle for perfection can do to harm us, as she notes in this Attitude UPGRADE.

“Have you dreamed of slowing down,” Joan says, “but keep hearing your internal-bully whisper, ‘There’s no stinkin’ way you can do that!’”

      

Oh my. Joan, you’ve nailed one of my (Dawn’s) personal struggles. And you are pointing us to our true source of help.

Joan continues …

Perhaps you’re one of many in service-related careers or ministries who are on the fast track to burnout.

Just in case you wondering, here’s a good definition of burnout. 

Burnout is the type of stress and emotional fatigue that occurs when a series of (or combination of) events in a relationship, mission, way of life or job fail to produce an expected result.

Awareness is an important step in changing this self-defeating lifestyle of overworking, overdoing, over-helping and over-committing.

The following questionnaire can help you identify your need:

• Do you have a difficult time relaxing?
• Are you crankier than you used to be–even though you try hard to keep it to yourself?
• Do you rush from one project to another?
• Are you tired on an ongoing basis?
• Do you feel increasingly depressed, anxious or hopeless?
• Are you increasingly angry and don’t know why?
• Do you spend less time with friends and family or in doing what you previously enjoyed?
• Do you work hard and long, but accomplish less?
• Is life (and/or your ministry) becoming a drag?

If you answered “yes” to several of these, you may be headed in the opposite direction of real life.

I know the prospect of changing is frightening and overwhelming, yet there is a way. Really.

The Bible says, “He [God] gives strength to the weary … those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength” (Isaiah 40:29, 31).

I felt positive that my commitment to hard work would bring me what I desired and was flabbergasted when I ran out of energy, enthusiasm and faith. Disillusioned, I asked: “Is there any hope for renewal?”

“Yes, Joan! Assured my loving Creator. “Though you stumble, you’ll one day soar on wings like an eagle, run and not grow weary, walk and not faith. Trust Me. I’ll renew your lost strength.”

I didn’t feel it or foresee it. I didn’t even have the strength to believe it, but since I couldn’t do it anymore, I stopped trying and left my stuff with God.

Miraculously, when I stopped striving, God took over.

There is HOPE … in the Lord.

(1) Admit your need.

(2) Ask God for guidance and insight.

(3) Seek help and resources.

(4) Take active steps to reshape your thoughts and behavior.

Then show someone you love (preferably a healthy, supportive person!) your responses to the questionnaire, above. Get honest, and then don’t back down.

God honors truth-telling, even if that truth—the reality facing you—feels negative.

There is life on the other side of burnout!

What do you do, where do you go—who do you seek—when you’re experiencing burnout? Have you sought the Lord, the source of hope?

Joan C. Webb is a speaker and author who has written thirteen books including The Intentional Woman (co-authored with Carol Travilla), The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right and a four book devotional series for children. As a Life Coach who specializes in working with writers and communicators, Joan helps set people free to become who they were designed to be and from what holds them back. For more information about becoming an intentional woman, visit Joan's website.

Note: Part of this post is an excerpt from It’s a Wonderful (Imperfect) Life, p. 24.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net