Before Your Next Date with Hubby

Arlene Pellicane offers lots of marriage tips in her book, 31 Days to a Happy Husband; What a Man Needs Most from His Wife. I'm glad she's willing to share some of them with our Project UPGRADE readers. In this post, Arlene encourages women to think through some practical ideas for "dating" Hubby.

"You know you’re supposed to go on date nights. People say it’s good for your marriage, kind of like taking a multivitamin," Pellicane says. "Yet you’re dragging your feet (taking vitamins isn’t sexy). Your schedule’s packed and dinner and movie just don’t seem that important."

Pellicane continues... 

As a mother of three young children, let me lean in closer and whisper in your ear:

Don't forget to date!

It’s critical to stay connected emotionally, physically and spiritually to your spouse. The daily grind typically doesn’t cater to that, so you have to create space to connect and have fun together. You don’t want to slowly drift apart over the years and end up as roommates. Instead, you want to keep courting!  

Here are four tips for your next date with hubby:   

1. Be playful and fun.  Date night is not the time to whip out the calendars and hash out who’s going to pick up dinner and who’s going to visit Aunt Grace in the hospital.

I love what Dr. David Clarke says about dating:

When you go out together on a “date,” it’s not romantic. It’s not playful. It’s not a time of fun and laughter. You’re going through the motions. It’s a good idea to go out on dates, so that’s what you’re doing. 

“We had a nice time,” you say. A date is not supposed to be a “nice time.” You have a “nice time” with your mother, or your Aunt Bertha. A real date with your spouse ought to be fun, stimulating, romantic and sensual. That’s why you got married!

2. Do something different. It could be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going to the mall and sampling new perfumes and colognes. If it’s always dinner and a movie, try a picnic dinner at the lake instead. 

3. Look your best. Just like you’d touch up your makeup before going to a party with friends, make sure you look attractive to your spouse. Be aware of your husband’s taste. (He may prefer a natural look or bright red lipstick, your hair up or your hair down.) My friend’s husband loves to see her in red. She doesn’t like red, but she does look great in it. She bought a few red blouses so she could go out with her husband … wearing red.

4. Heap him with praise. Date night is appreciation night! Spend the time complimenting your spouse about certain things he did that week. Hold his hand and cuddle up together. Be thinking about things you appreciate about your man and tell him all about it on date night. 

Which of these Hubby-dating tips encourages you to UPGRADE your relationship?

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of 31 Days to a Happy Husband and 31 Days to a Younger You.  She has been featured on Family Life Today, The Better Show, The 700 Club, Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah, The Hour of Power, and TLC’s Home Made Simple. Arlene lives in Southern California with her husband James and three children, Ethan, Noelle, and Lucy.