3 Ways to Dial Down Drama in Your Life

Cindi McMennamin is deeply biblical and winsomely practical, and she speaks truth into women's hungry hearts. In this Attitudes UPGRADE she helps us dial down some drama in our lives.

Cindi says, “There are two types of drama—the drama that life brings (and God allows) and the drama we create by how we respond to life.”

I (Dawn) have experienced both types, and I've found God has truth to counter the enemy's strategies to derail me. It's always wise to "dial down" the drama. Cindi is right on target in this post!

Cindi continues . . .

Whether our drama is the petty stuff (like being gossiped about or having a bad day) or the truly painful stuff (like dealing with a diagnosis or losing someone we love), how we respond makes all the difference—or all the drama—in the world. 

How do you respond if someone addresses you insensitively or is downright rude?

What do you do when you read a Facebook past that upsets you or you find yourself being falsely accused in a text or voice message or directly to your face?

Here are three steps to take to keep your emotions in check. 

1. Take a Breather.

In the heat of the moment, take time to step back, take a deep breath, and reevaluate. This will keep your emotions in check and keep you from flying off at someone.

You’ve heard the expression “sleep on it” when you’re faced with making a difficult decision. That’s great advice when it comes to responding to an accusatory email, an angry phone call, or a social media post that ruffled your feathers.

Studies show that the brain actually processes situations more thoroughly while you sleep so that means you wake up with a fresh—and often less emotional—perspective.

If you’re in a face-to-face encounter, ask to be excused for a few moments to breathe deeply (and therefore lower your heart rate), and collect your thoughts so you can think and respond more clearly.

• Take a breather,
• Get some perspective, and
• Let the extra time cool the heat of your emotions. 

2. Take a Personal Inventory.

In every situation there is a lesson to be learned. And in every accusation there is a seed of truth.

• A drama-filled woman says, “I must defend myself. I must clear my name. I must straighten this person out.”
• But a Spirit-filled woman lets God work in her heart by exposing to her any shred of truth in the accusation or any lesson she needs to learn for the molding of her character.

It’s easy for us to want to be loud and proud and prove our point in the heat of the moment.

But when we step out of the battle and ask God to speak truth to our hearts, we are acknowledging that we make mistakes too, and we are willing to learn from the situation how to better respond next time.

This is a way of living out our instructions in James 4:10:

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

3. Take It to God.

I have found that when I am plagued by a situation that could cause drama, it is diffused when I take it to God and sit there with Him in it for awhile.

As I ask Him to help me see the situation more clearly, not only does He show me my part in it, but He also gives me wisdom to know how to respond next. And sometimes, we find a matter isn’t worth pursuing further after we’ve set it at God’s feet.

Also, as we pray about it, God fills our heart with the peace of His presence (Philippians 4:6-7) and we find the drama isn’t so overwhelming after all.

When we take a breather, take a personal inventory, and take it to God we are allowing Him to draw us closer to Himself through the drama so we can emerge from the conflict more Christlike.

Which of these steps do you most need to practice so you can be drama free?  

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author who helps women find strength for the soul. She is the author of fifteen books, including her newest  that releases this month, Drama Free: Finding Peace When Emotions Overwhelm You, upon which this post is based. For more on her ministry, discounts on her books, or free resources to strengthen your walk with God, your marriage, or your parenting, see her website: StrengthForTheSoul.com.   

Graphic - TotontoVintage.ca                    

Upgrade Your Fear Factor

Cindi McMenamin's specialty is strengthening women in their various roles. In this Attitude UPGRADE, she addresses something that holds many women back—the wrong kind of fear.

"Can fear ever be a good thing? It can," Cindi says, "but only when you are fearing the Right Thing."

I (Dawn) am a naturally fearful person, but I add my testimony to Cindi's here. Perspective is everything!

Cindi continues . . .

It occurred to me, as I was writing my book, Drama Free, that most of the drama we experience in life is a result of fear.

We tend to fear people—or circumstances—more than we fear God.

For instance, I was recently stressed out because I feared not being able to complete a deadline. But my fear was really rooted in failing to meet the expectations of others and then fearing what they would believe about me as a result.  

It bothered me to realize I was fearing what people thought of me more than I feared the God who had my back and could clear my name.

And couldn’t God equip me with what I needed to meet my deadline as I surrendered it to Him?

Throughout Scripture we are instructed to fear God (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

A friend once told me:

To fear God is to have a wholesome dread of ever displeasing the Lord.

That implies a love relationship with God in which we fear disappointing Him. That results in obedience, respect of His authority, and a careful intention to not break His heart.

The Bible also tells us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom….” (Psalm 111:10, NASB).

I’ve come to realize the opposite of wisdom is drama.

When we exercise wisdom, we use discretion and we don’t make a scene.

When we demonstrate wisdom, we don’t bring distress to others.

When we display wisdom, we are not putting ourselves on display. 

If fearing the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, which negates drama, then fearing anything other than God is likely to trigger drama.

Instead of fearing God, you and I can tend to fear:    

• being misunderstood
• being treated unfairly
• being embarrassed (by appearing weak or incapable)
• being rejected
• being in a situation where I am not in control (My daughter has a fear of flying because she fears not being in control. And let me tell you, she can be drama on the airplane because of it!)

Sometimes we simply fear the worst. That is still a fear of something other than God. It is giving more power to what we fear than to God, who can handle those fears.

In Exodus 14:14 we are told: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (NIV).

That is ONE CAPABLE GOD—able to do far more than our fears, worries or drama can accomplish.

The more you and I get to know who God is and what He is capable of, the more our worries, fears, and freak-outs can be stilled.

We can be full of drama, or full of trust in an all-capable God.

I know which one I want to be.

What do you tend to fear more than God? I’d love to hear it in the comment section below.

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author who helps women find strength for the soul. She is the author of sixteen books, including her newest, Drama Free: Finding Peace When Emotions Overwhelm You, upon which this post is based.  For more on her ministry, discounts on her books, or free resources to strengthen your walk with God, your marriage, or your parenting, see her website: StrengthForTheSoul.com.                        

Graphic adapted, courtesy of John Hain at Pixabay.

Three Ways to Dial Down Drama in Your Life

Cindi McMenamin is all about strengthening people, whether it's in their walk with the Lord, their personal relationships, or their inner soul strength. In this Attitude UPGRADE, Cindi helps us focus on dialing down the drama so we can experience more freedom.

“There are,” Cindi says, “two types of drama: the drama that life brings—and God allows—and the drama we create by how we respond to life.”

I (Dawn) have never been much of a "Drama Queen" type... in public. But in my heart, that's another story. The Lord knows if we are truly drama free.

Cindi continues . . .

Whether our drama is the petty stuff (like being gossiped about or having a bad day) or the truly painful stuff (like dealing with a diagnosis or losing someone we love), how we respond makes all the difference—or all the drama—in the world.

• How do you respond if someone addresses you insensitively or is downright rude?
• What do you do when you read a Facebook post that upsets you?
• What is your response when you find yourself being falsely accused in a text or voice message or directly to your face?

Here are three steps to take to keep your emotions in check:

1. Take a breather.

In the heat of the moment, take time to step back, take a deep breath, and reevaluate. This will keep your emotions in check and keep you from flying off at someone.

You’ve heard the expression “sleep on it” when you’re faced with making a difficult decision. That’s great advice when it comes to responding to an accusatory email, an angry phone call, or a social media post that ruffled your feathers. Studies show that the brain actually processes situations more thoroughly while you sleep so that means you wake up with a fresh – and often less emotional – perspective.

If you’re in a face-to-face encounter, ask to be excused for a few moments to breathe deeply (and therefore lower your heart rate), and collect your thoughts so you can think and respond more clearly.

Take a breather, get some perspective, and let the extra time cool the heat of your emotions. 

2. Take a personal inventory.

In every situation there is a lesson to be learned. And in every accusation there is a seed of truth.

A drama-filled woman says, “I must defend myself. I must clear my name. I must straighten this person out.”

But a Spirit-filled woman lets God work in her heart by exposing to her any shred of truth in the accusation or any lesson she needs to learn for the molding of her character.

It’s easy for us to want to be loud and proud and prove our point in the heat of the moment. But when we step out of the battle and ask God to speak truth to our hearts, we are acknowledging that we make mistakes too, and we are willing to learn from the situation how to better respond next time.

This is a way of living out our instructions in James 4:10: “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

3. Take it to God.

I have found that when I am plagued by a situation that could cause drama, it is diffused when I take it to God and sit there with Him in it for awhile. As I ask Him to help me see the situation more clearly, not only does He show me my part in it, but He also gives me wisdom to know how to respond next.

And sometimes, we find a matter isn’t worth pursuing further after we’ve set it at God’s feet.

Also, as we pray about it, God fills our heart with the peace of His presence (Philippians 4:6-7) and we find the drama isn’t so overwhelming after all.

When we take a breather, take a personal inventory, and take it to God we are allowing Him to draw us closer to Himself through the drama so we can emerge from the conflict more Christlike.

Which of these steps do you most need to practice so you can be drama free?  

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author who helps women find strength for the soul. She is the author of fifteen books, including her newest releasing this month, Drama Free: Finding Peace When Emotions Overwhelm You, upon which this post is based. For more on her ministry, discounts on her books, or free resources to strengthen your walk with God, your marriage, or your parenting, see her website: StrengthForTheSoul.com.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of Vector4Free.