Don't Confuse Being Responsible with Being Faithful

Debbie W. Wilson is both biblically sound and creatively practical. In this Christian Living UPGRADE, she shares the biblical way to deal with a misunderstanding about responsibility."Do you carry an over-developed sense of responsibility?" Debbie asks.

"When I feel overwhelmed or weary, I usually discover I’m feeling responsible for something beyond my control."

Oh, ouch! I (Dawn) know exactly what Debbie means. Why is it such a hard lesson to learn?     

Debbie continues . . .

My desire to do a good job can subtly turn into pressure to make someone happy.

The desire to do good work is admirable. However, the goal to make another person happy is beyond my control.

The Difference Between a Goal and a Desire

In order to help us understand where our responsibilities end and other people’s begin, some thought leaders have delineated between a goal and a desire.

A GOAL is something you want, and you control the means to reach it.

A DESIRE is something you want, but you don’t have control of all the variables to reach it. You need the cooperation of other people or circumstances to achieve it.

For example, let’s say you plan a special picnic for your family.

• You get up early to shred cheese for their favorite pimento cheese sandwiches. 
• You hum as you spread your concoction onto slices of homemade bread.
• The picture of your family enjoying the fruit of your labor brings a smile as you pack a lovely quilt and colorful paper goods.

An hour before you leave, your son’s friend calls to invite him to the pool. He’s spent time with his friend, but not with the family.

You tell him he can go next time. Today is family time. Disappointment oozes out of his pores.

His body comes to the picnic, but not his heart.

You take a deep breath and hand out lunch on fanciful paper plates.

Your daughter whines, “I don’t like this kind of bread.”

You sigh. At least you have homemade chocolate chip cookies.

But when your son grabs the bag of cookies, the ones you stayed up to midnight baking, he shrieks, “They’re alive!”

To your dismay, the seal on the bag is not tight and ants found your cookies.

Now you’re ready to cry!

Did you fail? Was your effort a complete waste? That depends.

• If your goal was to make them happy, then yeah, you failed. They aren’t happy.
• But if your goal was to love your family, then, well done! You are a success.

Learn from Jesus

“Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls’” (Matt. 11:28-29 NLT).

Be gentle with yourself. Jesus is gentle with us. If we learn from Him, we’ll be kind with ourselves too.

Jesus doesn’t hold us responsible for things that lay outside our control.

So, neither should we.

Any goal that requires someone else’s cooperation can be blocked by those people. God doesn’t hold us responsible for what we can’t control. He asks us to be faithful to Him.

God doesn’t measure success by how things appear, but by how we live.

Faith pleases Him (Hebrews 11:6). When we love God and others through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can leave the results to God and know He is pleased with us.

And who knows, our faithfulness to trust God in the presence of disappointment may be our greatest witness to a watching family and world.

Are you feeling responsible for something beyond your control? What would it look like for you to exchange being responsible with being faithful?

Debbie W. Wilson—drawing from her walk with Christ and decades as a Christian counselor and Bible teacher—mixes insight and encouragement to inspire readers to trust Christ with their lives. Her books include Little Faith, Big God, Give Yourself a Break, and Little Women, Big God. She and her husband Larry founded and run Lighthouse Ministries, a nonprofit biblical counseling, coaching, and Bible study ministry. Her two standard poodles spice up her life with affection and fun. Find free resources to refresh your faith at debbieWwilson.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Charles MacArthur at Pixabay.

Superheroes of Faith

Joanie Shawhan is deep in biblical wisdom, with a wide range of interests and talents. In this Faith UPGRADE, she points to other women she admires and emulates—women in the Bible and in modern-day life, and even some "unsung heroes" of faith.Joanie says, "I’ll never outgrow my need for superheroes."

I (Dawn) agree! My description of superheroes has changed over the years. There are many I admire—including Joanie! They inspire me and give me hope.

Joanie continues . . .

Superheroes use their extraordinary abilities to make the world a better place.

But not all superheroes wear capes.

My superheroes are women of faith empowered by the Spirit of God.

I am grateful to the Lord for the godly women He has brought into my life to mentor me. One in particular prayed for me and many others, despite her poor health and constant pain.

Her faithfulness, wisdom, and godly character offered me examples of love, hope, and courage that changed my life.

In teaching me the scriptures, she introduced me to the following women of faith. I devoured their stories of faithfulness in the face of opposition and even persecution.

1. Biblical Women of Faith

• Deborah

As a prophetess and judge in Israel, she led her people into battle, defeating their enemy. (Judges 4:4-16)

• Ruth

Her devotion to her mother-in-law and her humble service is a beautiful example of selfless love. (Ruth 1:6-18; 2:2-3, 11-12; 3:11)

• Esther

Even though a queen, she recognized the significance of her position and risked her life on behalf of her people. God had raised up Esther for a specific time and purpose. (Esther 4:16; 5:1-3; 8:3-6)

• Mary

When the angel announced the birth of Jesus, Mary believed the God of the impossible. She believed even when she didn’t understand. (Luke 1:26-38)

2. Modern-day Women of Faith

• Elisabeth Elliot

After her husband was martyred by the Auca Indians in Ecuador, Elizabeth took her young daughter and lived among the tribe who murdered her husband.

Her sacrifice resulted in the salvation of this unreached people group. She mirrors God’s bigger picture of love and forgiveness.

• Dr. Helen Roseveare

While establishing hospitals in the Congo, Dr. Roseveare was subjected to many atrocities for five months under the hands of rebel terrorists.

After her rescue, she rebuilt the hospitals that had been destroyed and continued to care for the needs of the African people. She persevered in her call despite persecution.

• Gladys Aylward

When a missionary board dismissed Gladys for her lack of language skills, she refused to be deterred from her calling.

She spent her entire savings, boarded a train, and traveled through Siberia to China. She recognized God had opened a door for her to preach the gospel when the Chinese government requested her assistance to travel the countryside and discourage the footbinding tradition.

During the Japanese invasion, she led more than 100 orphans over the mountains to safety. In her yes to God, she received a mother’s heart for the children of China.

• Corrie ten Boom

Corrie and her sister Betsy endured the brutality of the Ravensbruck concentration camp as punishment for hiding Jews in Nazi Germany.

Despite the starvation and cruelty, they prayed and shared Scripture with their fellow prisoners, offering hope in the midst of darkness. 

3. Unsung Women of Faith

• Overcomers

Women who have overcome adversity and tragedy.

Whether suffering a loss or a health crisis, they continue to serve Jesus with joy.

• Prayer Warriors

Women who persevere in prayer when the battle seems never-ending and they wonder if they have enough strength to carry on.

But they hold on to the promises of God and pray.

• The Faithful

Women who are faithful to the call of God, no matter how insignificant the task may seem.

• The Courageous

Women who continue to say yes to God.

Yes to the unknown. Yes to leaving their comfort zones. Yes in the face of fear. Yes to testifying to the goodness and faithfulness of God in the midst of fiery trials.

How God has impacted my life through the lives of women I have known—and those I've never met!

Not all are missionaries or Bible characters. But these courageous women, spanning the ages, inspire me with their wisdom and offer me hope.

Many would never consider themselves courageous or heroic. But they challenge me, teach me godly character, and provide me with a roadmap when I face adversity. Through their examples, I have learned to forgive, overcome obstacles, and love difficult people.

They make my world, our world, a better place.

Many are unsung heroes of faith—the unseen, living quiet, godly lives empowered by the Holy Spirit. But their works are noted in heaven.

These are the women I honor—my superheroes. They are followers of Jesus: everyday women who have faced challenges and overcome adversity.

They are not clothed with superhero capes, but with strength, dignity, and joy.

Charm can be misleading, and beauty is vain and so quickly fades, but this virtuous woman lives in the wonder, awe, and fear of the Lord. She will be praised throughout eternity (Proverbs 31:30 TPT).

Who are the superheroes of faith in your life?

Joanie Shawhan is a Selah Awards Finalist for her book, In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer. An ovarian cancer survivor and registered nurse, she speaks to medical students in the Survivors Teaching Students program and co-founded an ovarian cancer social group: The Fried Eggs—Sunny-Side Up. When not attending her book club or writing critique group, Joanie advocates for ovarian cancer awareness and enjoys swimming, knitting, and playing autoharp. Contact Joanie at  www.joanieshawhan.com.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Miguel Bruna at Unsplash.