Raising Fearless Children in a Fear-Filled World

I've always been impressed with Julie Watson's godly approach to life. In this Parenting UPGRADE, she tackles the topic of children and fear.

“Spiders used to scare my children," Julie said. "Now, they get names and are considered family pets!”   

LOL! I (Dawn) don't think I'd ever name a spider, but I love Julie's story and the blessing she has already been to little ones who needed her to help them understand how to trust God.

Julie continues…

When my three amazing, foster children entered my life seven months ago, they were absolutely terrified of everything: the dark, being alone, new people, new places, and, of course, spiders to name a few.

For someone who had wasted ten years of her life living in fear, I could relate. I recalled what God taught me before I was delivered from my fear, but as a new mom I wasn’t sure how to teach my children the same in an age-appropriate way.

For me, after being diagnosed with a slow growing form of ovarian cancer at age 27, I lived in fear every day that the cancer would return.

The sad part is that I had (audibly) heard God say to me, “You’ll never go through this again,” after receiving my diagnosis. I knew that still, small voice was God’s. I knew it, but the more I thought about it, doubt began to creep in and questioned it. I questioned it every day for 10 years.

On the 10^th anniversary of my surgery, I got down on my face before God and begged Him to remove the fear that had kept me in bondage.

I had an instant healing! Immediately I received peace that the words spoken to me in the hospital all those years before were indeed His; I had nothing to fear. I walked out of my room that day free from my fear and I never looked back.   

Considering all the years I wasted, I didn’t want my kids to wait to learn to trust God.

I started with small things: spiders!

“God made spiders,” I reasoned, “to help keep the bug population down. Would you prefer to have more bugs or less bugs?” I asked.

"Less."

“Then, you have to see that God’s purpose for spiders is good—as He gives everything a purpose, including you!”

Long story short, after about two months of showing the children how nice spiders are, the kids stopped screaming every time they saw a Daddy Longlegs.

Last month the kids actually started giving names to the spiders and call for us all to come meet our new “pet.” To this day, Blackie, a family favorite, still has his home set up in a corner of our sunroom. 

With kids you start with the small stuff and then move on to the more difficult as their faith grows.

Here are the steps I have been using that can free us if we are living in fear. 

1) Believe God’s Word is true.

Whether He has audibly spoken to you or has talked to you in prayer or through His Word, know this: It is true! (2 Timothy 3:16; Psalm 119:105) 

2) Don’t doubt God by listening to the lies of the enemy.

Put on the full armor of God and protect your heart, mind and spirit. (Ephesians 6:11-13)

3) Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

As a child of God you have the power of the Almighty’s name—the most powerful thing in the universe. Use it! If you can’t think of anything else to say, just say "Jesus" and the enemy must leave! (James 4:7, 2 Timothy 1:7)

4) God’s plans for you are perfect and He will always see them through to fruition.

Even though life is not always easy, God will never leave or forsake you. He will walk beside you to see His purpose fulfilled in and through you! (Jeremiah 29:11; Psalm 121)

And, yes, in case you’re wondering . . . as of today, my kids are no longer afraid of spiders, the dark, being alone, going to new places or meeting new people, as long as we have prepared them a bit and reminded them why there is no reason to fear when Jesus lives in our hearts.

Are you fearful of something and living in bondage? How will you protect yourself from the enemy and find freedom from fear today?

Julie Watson worked in children’s ministries for 10 years and as a Grant writer before becoming a stay-at-home mom to three beautiful children. She and her husband, Shawn know these children were hand-picked by God to be their own, and plan to adopt them as soon as they are legally allowed. 

When Life Yells 'Boo!'

There are many reactions to the invasion of costumed candy-seekers. Dawn Wilson remembers one year when she opened my door to a teenage boy's loud ...      

I jumped back, my heart racing. I didn't know whether to laugh or slug him! Talk about scared!

I've never been one for horror movies. I don't like things that "go bump in the night" or jump out at me with a bloodcurdling scream! It's enough to make me whimper like a baby.

But life is like that sometimes. And when life says "boo" we need to know how to respond.

I'm talking about dealing with fear. Fear that comes from tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes. Wars and rumors of war. A cancer diagnosis. A desperately-ill child. Unreasonable fears. Everyday fears.

There are many sources of fear. There are always trials and scary circumstances. But it can also come directly from our enemy, Satan, from interactions with others, and from our own sinful hearts.

The source of our fear isn't the biggest issue. Our source for dealing with fear is what's important.

Jesus often told his disciples not to fear; but instead to "take heart" (Matthew 14:27; 28:10; John 16:33); and throughout the Bible we find the Lord's remedy for fears. He tells us how to face every one with His strength and grace.

When God's Children experience fear, they can:

1. Run to the Stronghold! Run to Him in prayer, because no matter what happens, God's child is eternally safe in Jesus and He's always ready to listen (Psalm 27:1; Proverbs 18:10; Isaiah 26:3).

2. Embrace to God's encouraging presence. He will comfort in times of fear (Psalm 23:4).

3. Believe He will help. He will take us by the hand (Isaiah 41:13).

5. Stand firm and watch Him work. He is the Deliverer (Exodus 14:13a).

4. Practice courage. Whether you're a little scared or terrified, you can choose to be bold, knowing God goes with us into every circumstance (Deuteronomy 31:6).

6. Replace ungodly attitudes. God gives power, love, and a sound (disciplined) mind—not fear (2 Timothy 1:7) ... ask the Spirit of God to renew your mind (Romans 12:2).

You cannot imagine the power of God at work, even in scary circumstances. (Need a reminder? Read 2 Kings 6:15-17). I pray our eyes will open to the Lord's power for us.

What is saying "boo!" to you right now? Which of these six points might need some work in your life so you can overcome the fear/s in your life?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Ministries, is the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is the President of the San Diego chapter of Network of Evangelical Women in MInistry (NEWIM San Diego). Dawn is the co-author of LOL with God and contributed "The Blessing Basket" in It's a God Thing. She and her husband Bob have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Face Your Fears with T-E-A-R-S

Twila Belk’s positive attitude encourages others to look to Jesus. In this Attitude UPGRADE, the author/speaker shares her approach to dealing with fears.

“Whatever we focus on becomes magnified in our minds,” Twila says. “If we concentrate on our fears, they overwhelm us.”

Fears come and go, and I (Dawn) likely have as many fears as you do. We can’t stop the thoughts of fear from entering our minds, but we don’t have to let them take up residence!

Twila continues …

• “How will I pay the bills?”
• “Where will I live?”
• “Who’s going to take care of me?”
• “How will I survive?”
• “What if it’s cancer?”

Sometimes we become so absorbed in the problems that produce these and similar questions, we can’t think about anything else. We dread the unknown.

During those times, a shift in focus is necessary. We need to fix our eyes—on God.

When we have complications seeing, we might fix our eyesight with a product called Artificial Tears.

When our spiritual vision is obscured, and we can’t imagine anything but trouble, the best remedy is T-E-A-R-S.

Let me explain what I mean.

T – TRUST. Trust is the opposite of fear.

Proverbs 3:5-6  tells us to trust God with ALL our heart. We’re supposed to acknowledge Him in ALL our ways. If we do that, He promises to direct our paths—to take care of us. We’re not left to flounder on our own.

The better we know Him, the easier it is to trust Him.

E – ETERNAL-MINDEDNESS. In 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, we’re encouraged to fix our eyes not on what we see—the difficulties surrounding us—but on what we don’t see. The visible things are temporary and changing, but God and His promises are eternal.

If our hope is in Christ, we can endure the here and now through God’s bubble of grace, knowing that the best is yet to come.

A – ABIDE. Psalm 91:1 says, “He (she) who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.”

To me, that’s a picture of crawling up on the Father’s lap and resting in His warm embrace. There we express our intimate thoughts to Him, pour out our hearts, and share what’s bothering us. As we’re on his lap, we hear his heartbeat and realize that it’s beating for us. With every pulsation we’re reminded how special we are to Him, how big He is, and that He has everything under control.

In the arms of our loving Father is the safest and most comfortable place to be.

R – REMEMBER. We easily become forgetful when face-to-face with adversity. The things we know to be true about God go by the wayside.

That’s why we need to continually rehearse His goodness and faithfulness. When we remember what God has done for us (or others) in the past, we can trust Him for today and tomorrow.

S – SET. David says in Psalm 16:8, “I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I won’t be shaken.”

Here’s how we can set the Lord always before us:

• Meditate on Him throughout the day.
• Carry on a running conversation with Him.
• Memorize His promises and verses that speak of His greatness and repeat them often.
• Post scriptural truths in much-seen places.
• Sing praises.   

I’ve learned that my circumstances don’t change who God is; they show me who God is.

When I apply T-E-A-R-S to my tribulations, I see clearly that God’s presence, power, and provision are all I need. I pray you’ll discover that as well.

Do you have a nagging fear? How might you apply the T-E-A-R-S concept to that fear?

Twila Belk—aka The Gotta Tell Somebody Gal—is a writer and speaker who loves braggin’ on God. She’s written or co-written five books, contributed to several others, and recently started work on a new project, Raindrops from Heaven, that will release early next year. To learn more about Twila, including her newest title, I Believe in Heaven: Real Stories from the Bible, History and Today, visit her website, www.gottatellsomebody.com.

How to Trade Away Your Fears

Author Rebecca Barlow Jordan loves to paint encouragement on the hearts of others; and in her Day-votions® book series by Zondervan—Day-votions® for Women, Day-votions® for Mothers, and Day-votions® for Grandmothers—that’s exactly what she does. In this UPGRADE Your Attitudes post, she encourages women by showing them how to trade away their fears.

“One of the most prevalent areas where women need encouragement is with fears,” says Rebecca: “Will my marriage fail? Will disaster befall my family? Can I really parent my children successfully? How can we ever meet our growing financial needs?" 

When I was a young girl, I (Dawn) struggled with fear. I thought my fears would leave after I got married. But they didn't. It wasn't a matter of growing out of my fears, but rather, of growing up into Christ.

Rebecca continues…

Fear is no respecter of age or season of life. As women, we’re challenged with fears daily.

 The reality is that some of those things could happen to any of us. Our world is changing daily. Instead of living in fear, I’ve learned—and am still learning—to choose another option.

A fear that used to plague me was that somehow I would reach the end of my life and not accomplish all God wanted me to. Then one day I read a familiar Bible verse in a new light: And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6, NLT).

I discovered that it was God who began the “good’ work in me, God who would continue it, and it was God who would finish that work, regardless of my fears.

When?

On the day Christ Jesus returns.  

Long after my life has ended—if I die before Christ comes back—the work God began in me will keep on going.

Yes, that means my salvation, but also everything God envisioned for my life. I can trust Him to finish it. He’s faithful!That’s when I decided to trade away my fear.

Here are some steps that might help you to do the same:

1. List your actual fears on a sheet of paper: every phobia or nagging fear that tries to steal your joy.

2. Confess those fears to God. You may even want to do a Scripture search to find a “faith-filled” Bible verse to place beside each of those fears, or several verses that remind you not to fear, like Isaiah 41:10, NIV: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Keep your list handy, and refer to those verses often, each time a new fear arises.

3. List times in the past when God helped you through a fearful situation, times when you can honestly say, “God was faithful to bring me through that.” You might even do you own Scripture search regarding the “faithfulness” of God.

4. Instead of focusing on your fears, trade away your fears for God’s faithfulness. He is trustworthy! Tell God you are trading away your fears, and invite His help to do so.

I love these encouraging words from the Psalms about God’s faithfulness: He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart (Psalm 91:4, NIV).

What are your greatest fears? Will God’s faithfulness reduce your fear? Only you can answer that. He will if you let Him.

I do know this. There is no end to His faithfulness: For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies (Psalm 108:4, NIV).

Rebecca Barlow Jordan is the author of 11 books, including the Day-votions® women’s series, and 40 Days in God’s Presence. She has also written over 2000 articles, devotions, and greeting cards and writes an encouraging weekly blog. As a minister’s wife she lives in East Texas and has two grown children and four grandchildren. Find out more about Rebecca at rebeccabarlowjordan.com.

Rebecca adapted this article for UPGRADE with Dawn from her previous post. 

Living in the Light: The No-Fear Zone

Quirky humor and deep wisdom—that's Rhonda Rhea. One of her books, How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person? helps women live in God's light. In this humorous post, she encourages us to move out of the darkness of our fears.

“I don’t care what anyone says, I never laugh in the face of danger,” Rhonda said. “But sometimes, when danger isn’t looking, I point and make faces and call it a big stupidhead. Of course, then if danger looks over, I look down and pretend I’ve been picking lint off my jacket the whole time.”

Oh Rhonda ... I don't think I've ever called danger "a big stupidhead," but I will from now on!

Rhonda continues …

I decided early in life it might be wise to give a respectable deference to danger and fear, at least to their faces. I guess it’s partly because when I was a kid, Bozo the Clown used to sit in a dark corner of my room every night and brood creepishly. It was always in the same corner. Then in the morning he’d be gone and there would be a floor lamp there instead. Eerie.

Since I obviously know my way around the fear topic, here’s my helpful tip of the day: 

If you’re panicking, try taking deep breaths. Unless you’re panicking because you’re drowning. Because then you’re definitely going to need a whole different tack.

On the more serious side, though, isn’t it glorious that as we breathe in the presence of the God of light, we see our fears fade?

When the angel came to the shepherds to announce the birth of the Messiah, the glory-light must’ve been shocking. “The glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid.” (Luke 2:9, NKJV) But the angel’s first words to the shepherds were, “Do not be afraid” (verse 10, NKJV). No need to fear! In fact, the angel brought the good news that the birth of the Messiah was ushering in our salvation.

Has there ever been a greater reason for rejoicing? And that’s just what happened. “And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: ‘Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!’” (verse 13, NKJV) What a sound and light show that must’ve been! But the shepherds didn’t stay frozen in fear. No, they got up and hurried off to find the Christ.

That angel chorus wasn’t the only Jesus-welcoming light party. When the wise men sought the Messiah, they were led by God’s magnificent starlight. “And there it was—the star they had seen in the east! It led them until it came and stopped above the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed beyond measure. Entering the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother, and falling to their knees, they worshipped Him.” (Matthew 2:9-11, HCSB)

Light can lead us to that place of worship. Worship is the exhale as we breathe in His light.

Ever scared of the dark? When we get those dark fears out of the way, we’re free to worship and praise—the perfect response as we encounter the Lord of light.

Fear can be devastatingly powerful. It can rear its ugly head at the most inopportune moments. And when it arrives, it all but takes over our thoughts. It’s tough to think of anything else when fear makes its way into our gray matter.

In Psalm 27:1, David reminds himself of the God who chases away fear: “The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom should I fear?” (HCSB) Fear may be powerful, but it’s nothing compared to our God.

Bozo? You got nuthin’.

When do your worst fears arise? When they surface, ask God to help you focus on scripture truth about God and His presence, and on Jesus, the One who conquers our fears.

Rhonda Rhea is a radio personality, speaker and the author of 12 books, including Espresso Your Faith and the newest, Join the Insanity: Crazy-Fun Life in the Pastors’ Wives Club. Along with her daughters, she hosts the weekly TV show, “That’s My Mom” on Christian Television Network. Rhonda and her daughter, Kaley Faith Rhea, have their first co-authored novel releasing in 2014 with the second soon following. She lives in the St. Louis area and is a pastor’s wife and the mother of five practically-out-of-the-house children.