How to Enhance Your Femininity

Morgan Farr has explored the topic of femininity and biblical womanhood extensively on her blog, and I asked her to write a Womanhood UPGRADE for us.

Morgan asks an important question: "Do you stand out as a woman of God or do you blend in with the world?"

For some time now, I (Dawn) have thought about the images the secular media feeds girls and women about what it means to be a woman, and I've grieved over the confusion and heartache I see in so many women's lives. So I truly appreciate Morgan's insight.

Morgan continues ...

God called us to be set apart and I believe that calling has more to it than just going to church on Sunday. I believe that our lives should be a testament to His glory. One of the most basic ways that we can praise God’s magnificence is in being who He made us to be … women!

Proverbs is chock full of excellent examples of how both men and women should behave, potential pitfalls, and rewards that come from working in the sphere of influence to which God assigned you.

God designed men to be masculine and women to be feminine.

It sounds so easy. If you are female, just be feminine ... right?

Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world.

On one hand, this world encourages androgyny between the sexes; on the other hand, it celebrates an unattainable hyper sexuality (i.e., Victoria’s Secret). This takes place all while mocking Biblical womanhood and true femininity. It can be so hard to know where you fit in as a woman of God!

Here are my steps to increasing femininity:

1. Celebrate your femininity

Thank God for the gift of your femininity.

Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.”

God knew from the beginning what color of hair you would have, what color your eyes would be, and that you were going to be a woman. God has designed and set out a perfect role for you to reflect the Lord of all creation’s love as a daughter of the King. How awesome is that?

2. Pray about your femininity

If femininity is something that you struggle with, ask God for help.

1 Chronicles 16:11 says, “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.”

God’s plan for you and your family is awesome. He wants you to revel in your femininity. He designed you to His perfect specification, and that includes the fact that you are female!

3. Enhance your femininity

Femininity looks different for different people; it is all about what helps you to feel feminine.

For some ladies that could be as simple as wearing a skirt, a pretty scarf or a broach. For other ladies, femininity is an attitude ... or acts of service. I feel the most feminine when I am making food for a house full of people.

I have to say, femininity is something that I have struggled with in my personal life for a long time.

As a weightlifter, I hear a lot of questions about femininity. People ask me everything from how I manage to feel like a girl when I participate in such a masculine sport, to asking if my husband is able to see me as feminine.

It isn’t easy; there is a constant battle of maintaining a healthy balance.

Elisabeth Elliot has a quote that I adore. She said:

“The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.” - Elisabeth Elliot

I think that sums up biblical womanhood and femininity for Christian women. We aren’t called to blend in to this world; we are called to stand out as daughters of the King!

What can you do to use your femininity to show the glory of God?

Morgan Farr is an Army wife currently stationed at Fort Bragg in Fayetteville, North Carolina. She and her wonderful husband Brian are expecting their first child in just two weeks! She is a homemaker that dedicates her free time to ministering to other Army wives through Bible studies, one-on-one mentoring and physical training. Morgan writes about her transition out of feminism and into biblical womanhood on her blog.

Graphic adapted, Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

My 5 'Rs' for a Long Marriage

A sweet young girl approached me at the book table after I spoke at a women’s event. “The woman who introduced you said you’ve been married almost 40 years,” she said. “What’s your secret?”

I’ve been asked that a lot lately, and I’ve been hesitant to answer (maybe because I have so many of my friends’ great marriage books in my library). I thought, “What more can I say?”

But I'm beginning to realize how few marriages last for four decades or more, so I decided I’ll share my own UPGRADE Your Marriage encouragement.

I think a good long marriage boils down to five "Rs."

(1) Remembrance

My husband and I remember our vows. There were no “if” statements on our wedding day, no back door escape clauses. We made commitments to each other until death. Those vows meant something. They still do.

(2) Responsibility

We took our Ephesians 5 responsibilities seriously. It started with verse 2 to “walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us…,” and continued through the verses about sexual purity and other godly behaviors as “children of light”—we learned how to walk in wisdom and submit to one another in love  (vv. 3-21).

Out of that understanding and growth, God gave us the strength and insight to embrace our “marriage responsibilities” (vv. 22-33). My husband strives to love me as Christ loved the church, and I seek to submit to him as to the Lord. Love and humility are to reign, not selfishness.

(3) Respect

One of my guiding principles is Ephesians 5:33: “let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Respect is a man’s core emotional need. If I don’t fill up his “respect cup,” who will? That is how he feels loved. So I let that respect begin at home, and I smile at him and praise him in public – letting the world know I’m “proud of my man.”

(4) Response

As his wife, I also want to be a faithful responder. I want to respond to his masculinity with biblical femininity and to his authority in our marriage. I respond to his advice and counsel, and support his goals and dreams.

I’m careful to be modest in public, but drop that modesty in private, responding to his need for physical intimacy. I respond to his human frailties with understanding, grace and forgiveness; and I give him a safe place to share his thoughts. I respond with gratitude and contentment for his provision (while recognizing that God is my ultimate Provider).

(5) Renewal – No marriage is easy. We need constant renewal—God’s wisdom, power and enabling. God’s Spirit helps us check our hearts and motives so we won’t put each other on pedestals or trample each other’s hearts. The closer each of us gets to God, the closer we are drawn to each other, so we try to seek Him and His plans first.

My friends who write marriage books offer many practical tips that complement each of these points, but when I keep these 5 Rs in mind, the rest seems to take care of itself.

Every marriage can improve. Which of these “R” words would UPGRADE Your Marriage today?

Dawn Wilson is the founder of Heart Choices Ministries and creator of UpgradeWithDawn.com and also blogs at LOLwithGod.com. Dawn's ministry encourages, edifies and energizes women with the truth of scripture so they can better enjoy life, bless others and honor God. She lives in San Diego with her husband Bob and a rascally maltipoo named Roscoe.