'Financial Language' - Are You an 'Avoider'?

Janice Thompson’s six “Financial Languages” help me understand how women relate differently to money matters.  In this, her fourth post on the topic, she describes "The Avoider" approach, beginning with this quote by a famous business consultant:

“What you have to do and the way you have to do it is incredibly simple. Whether you are willing to do it is another matter.” – Peter Drucker

That’s true of women in many arenas – marriage, parenting, ministry, housework and yes, finances. Janice shares a story to illustrate how avoiding financial decisions can be foolish

She continues …

Megan came to see me in the fall of 2002. I can still remember the day we met. She was beautiful, talented and well-educated. But what struck me so deeply that day was that I would be invited into the heart of a woman devastated by the recent loss of her husband. Megan’s husband had paid the ultimate price with his life in service to our country, leaving a wife alone with just three months to go until the birth of their first child.

Here was a woman who had it all. In one tragic moment, she was stripped of everything that gave her significance and security. She was now facing the frightening prospect of having to navigate the complex world of financial matters on her own.

Because Megan’s husband had always taken care of things for her, she was overwhelmed by decisions and, at times, even paralyzed by small financial events. Her initial response was to try to bury her head in the sand, thus avoiding her new reality.

I don’t think I have wept more with anyone than I did in those first few months working with this dear woman. To say she was confused and terrified by the financial decisions she was facing would be an understatement. She could easily have filled her life with distractions to assuage the grief, but instead she purposefully determined to let God make her better.

Megan chose to be victorious, not a victim.

She is now a wise, savvy, and confident woman … Megan could easily have responded to life’s curve ball by being a Martha – filling her life with activity and things that masked the void rather than focusing on the important priorities that could fill the void—like sitting at Jesus’ feet [Luke 10:38-42]. Whether Martha was simply distracted by too much to do or just operating in her comfort zone, it is clear that Martha entertained a seed of the victim mentality.

Victims have a choice: they can either avoid their new reality and become bitter, or by God’s grace they can take the appropriate steps to become better.

Does this sound like you? Do you find yourself so overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life that worry consumes you? Do you feel as though you are spiraling downward in a vortex of confusion? Are you overwhelmed and intimidated by financial matters, and do you lack confidence to make wise decisions?

If so, take heart from Megan’s story.

Don’t bury your head in the sand. Seek wise advice.

Find non-threatening ways to become financially educated.

Don’t be embarrassed by the fact that you have a lot of questions. The only “stupid” question is the one you are too intimidated to ask.

You can’t avoid reality forever, so surround yourself with wise counsel that will encourage you not only to listen, but to take appropriate action at the appropriate time. As you do, you will begin to develop confidence in your decisions.

Read this scripture thoughtfully: “... God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding. He’s a rich mine of Common Sense for those who live well, a personal bodyguard to the candid and sincere. He keeps his eye on all who live honestly, and pays special attention to his loyally committed ones” (Proverbs 2:6-8, The Message).

Is your financial language avoidance? Which of the bulleted points will you act on today?

Janice Thompson is founder and president of Strategic Financial Solutions, Inc., a comprehensive wealth management firm focused on biblically-wise financial solutions. Janice is a Certified Financial Planner® and serves on the Kingdom Advisors Board of Directors. She has two married children and just welcomed her first grandchild to the family.  She and her husband, Tom, live in San Diego.

Note: Material adapted from the book, Managing Your Money Maze by Janice Thompson (Revive Our Hearts, 2009).

Photo in Text: Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net – adapted.