When Forgiveness Seems Impossible

In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, Yvonne Ortega addresses a crucial area in our walk with the Lord: forgiveness when it's hard and seems so impossible.

"For seven and a half years, I struggled to forgive an abusive former husband," Yvonne says. "I stomped and cried. Why should I forgive him? He didn’t ask for forgiveness, and he didn’t apologize. "

Oh, have I (Dawn) been there. I struggled with forgiving an abuser. For a long time, I resisted. So I know what Yvonne writes is true!

Yvonne continues . . .

Perhaps you wonder how I managed to forgive him. It wasn’t easy.

Here are three tips to forgive, especially when forgiveness is difficult.

1. I realized forgiveness is for my PHYSICAL health.

When I was filled with anger, bitterness and rage, I didn’t sleep well. I was tired most of the time. My lower back hurt, and I didn’t eat well either. My problems with digestion were so bad that I lost 20 pounds. I looked like a bag of bones—pale, thin, and tired.

I thought about 1 Corinthians 3:16 (NIV) which says: “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s spirit dwells in you?”

I had to take better care of God’s temple.

What will you do to take care of your physical health?

2. I realized forgiveness is for my EMOTIONAL health.

I was caught up in an emotional prison of unforgiveness. Instead of thinking about how to improve my life, I went over and over the terrible things my ex-husband said and did to me and our son. That left me depressed.

I was fearful that he would repeat his behavior whenever we saw him or our son visited him. That made me anxious.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV) gave me a different perspective. It says, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

What about you? Is your mind shackled to someone who hurt you? Does that leave you depressed, fearful, or anxious? 

3. I realized forgiveness is also for my SPIRITUAL health.

I ignored God’s command to forgive my ex-husband and that unforgiveness broke my spiritual communion with my heavenly Father.

My prayers weren’t prayers, but pleas for revenge.

I asked God to get him good and let me live to see it. When I read the Bible, it was to find a reason or an excuse not to forgive. My Bible study and prayer life deteriorated. So did my church fellowship.

Colossians 3:13 (NIV) says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

God had forgiven me thousands of times. Now I had to forgive as the Lord forgave me and get close to God again.

Are you as close to God as you once were? How thick is the wall that separates you from spiritual communion with him? How is your disobedience affecting your prayer life, Bible study, and church fellowship?

Today I have peace, freedom and a full life.

The Lord blesses me with peace (Psalm 29:11), and I am free in Christ, no longer burdened by a yoke of slavery to unforgiveness (Galatians 5:1). I’m living the abundant life Jesus came to earth to give me (John 10:10b). 

Will you forgive for your physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing?

Yvonne Ortega is a professional speaker, author, licensed professional counselor, World Class Speaking Coach, and the author of the newly-released Moving from Broken to Beautiful® through Forgiveness—available at Amazon.com along with two other books: Moving from Broken to Beautiful: 9 Life Lessons to Help You Move Forward, and Finding Hope for Your Journey through Breast Cancer. Yvonne has not only survived but thrived after a domestic violence marriage, breast cancer, and the death of her only child. With honesty and humor, she uses personal examples and the truths of the Bible to help women move from broken to beautiful. Visit www.yvonneortega.com.