Get in Line, People!

Gail Goolsby is intelligent and wise, and I'm always surprised by her fresh take on culture. In this Spiritual Life UPGRADE, she helps us see the wisdom of waiting in line, but she also applies it to a great biblical truth.

“Around the world, I observed first hand that most cultures do not line up,” Gail said. “I found myself frustrated at the crowds pushing and cramming to the front when I knew there was a better way to wait.”

I (Dawn) have been to other countries and I understand what Gail is talking about. I've thought, "How rude!" so many times.

But I never stopped to think about why people are hesitant to stand in lines.

Gail continues . . .

In my education career and particularly as a kindergarten teacher, I spent many hours explaining and training children to line up and wait for a turn.

While wiggling young bodies struggled to stand still or move in accordance to the pace of the leader, eventually even five-year olds submitted to the queue.

Lines WORK!

1. Do Lines Enhance Culture?

The success of line practice has been studied with some conclusions:

• Lines represent trust in the equal treatment of individuals in their home cultures.

Edward T. Hall wrote in his 1959 book The Silent Language, “To us it is regarded as a democratic virtue for people to be served without reference to the rank they hold…”

• Lines represent willingness to practice civility.

In 1837 France, 1944 Britain and 1970s America, citizens entered into long lines for rationed goods such as bread, meat and fuel, not knowing what they might receive for their patience.

• Lines represent the belief that first-come, first-served ideology works for all.

Industrialization and factory work schedules created crowds of people trying to acquire goods and complete personal errands at virtually the same time. Shops and businesses began the promise of fair service given in order of arrival.

When immigrants join Western societies, many countries teach the concept of lines to their new citizens.

“Lining up is seen as a universal sort of truth,” said J.J. McCullough, the Vancouver-based author of J.J.’s Complete Guide to Canada. “And if someone doesn’t adhere to them then it must be because they’re uncouth or uncivilized, rather than this is a sort of idiosyncratic tradition that we’ve internalized.”

2. Why Do Cultures Refuse to Line Up?

When I moved to Afghanistan in 2005, I was more impacted by the daily chaos than the frequent terrorist violence. As disorderly mobs pressed through passport control in Kabul airport and shoppers shoved in the marketplace, I longed for the peace of a line.

Traffic lines were completely optional, even with concrete barriers to separate lanes of cars.

In overpopulated, war-ravaged, under-resourced places like India, China, Afghanistan, and Africa, people experience starvation and death regularly. To feed their family, to arrive at work, to secure medical treatment, or to receive any type of assistance in such circumstances, citizens must aggressively push to the forefront or lose out. Any hesitation means going home empty-handed.

When necessities of life are low and lives are literally at stake, people are reluctant to trust that patient waiting will result in needed supplies or opportunities.

Desperation and lack of hope in equality of their culture prompt people to trust solely in their own effort to succeed.

3. Lines Represent a Straight Path

As Christians, we believe in the equality offered by the cross.

All who submit to the provision of Christ’s death and atonement can be united with their Creator God, secure forgiveness and life eternal. We then embark on the straight path, a line leading us to freedom from sin and becoming more like Jesus.

Those who set out on their own path—who dismiss the line of Believers—end up wandering in chaos.

They trust in their own merit and good works, not the line to the Cross.

Isaiah 59:8 (NIV) says this:

The way of peace they do not know; there is no justice in their paths. They have turned them into crooked roads; no one who walks along will know peace.

When we realize our need for rescue, for guidance and redemption from our crazy, no-purpose life, we are on our way to the right path. We are lining up with Truth.  

Luke 1:79 (AMP) says Christ came to make a way for us: To shine upon and give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to direct and guide our feet in a straight line into the way of peace.

Even after surrendering to Christ’s love and sacrifice, we may fall off the straight path and leave the line of life.

Thankfully, we have the written Word to correct our crookedness.

2 Timothy 3:16 (NET) tells us: Every scripture is inspired by God and useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,

The word correction in this verse is not found anywhere else in the Bible. It means to restore, to set right, to repair something bent, to make it straight.

In other words, studying scripture teaches us to line up our lives as God intends.

In lining up this way, we have:

• peace with God,
• peace with our neighbor, and
• peace with ourselves.

Let’s all get in line and live well.

What is stopping you from joining the queue to God’s grace?

Gail Goolsby, MA, MEd, ACC is a lifelong educator, including past leadership at an international school in Afghanistan, and credentialed life coach with the International Coach Federation. Gail and her pastor husband of 40 years live where the wind blows over the prairie in south Kansas. Gail counsels and coaches using God’s Word to help others learn to live well.

Graphic adapted, courtesy of Wendy B. Koon at Pixabay.

Really ... the "Elf" Made Me Do It!

In this Christmas UPGRADE, Dawn reminds us to make wise, proactive choices—even at Christmastime!

My Christmas "Elf on a Shelf," Ella Noelle, is responsible for all the things going wrong in my life this Christmas.

She's responsible for:

• My cookies that burned.
• My nearly-empty wallet.
• My 2-1/2 pound weight gain.
• My overbooked calendar.
• My angry outburst at the guy that cut me off on the way to the mall and my impatience waiting in a 40-minute line because I waited too late to shop.

Yeah, right.

I can say Ella Noelle is responsible all I want, but it doesn't make it so.

It's sort of like "The devil made me do it." 

No. The devil may tempt us, but he can't force us to sin.

I remember when comedian Flip Wilson (no relation) made that remark famous in the early 1970s. For some time after, many of my friends used that as their excuse for foul-ups.

I remembered my childhood imaginary friend, Stinky Sam. Whenever I was caught in a sinful act, I'd tell myself, "That was Stinky Sam"—while I'd stand there looking totally (and adorably) innocent, sometimes holding the evidence of my "crime."

I think with some Christian maturity, I've finally outgrown those silly blame-game episodes. I've put the childish ways of blaming others behind me (1 Corinthians 13:11). I've taken more responsibility for my foolish choices.

Until I haven't.

Just yesterday, I caught myself blaming the devil after I took the third Christmas cookie.

I asked my husband, "Who emptied my wallet?" (after a trip to the mall).

I couldn't believe it was ME who uttered those nasty, impatient words at the store clerk.

The truth is, I still have to learn a lot about "owning up" when I blow it.

We're all responsible for our own ugly stuff.

The scriptures teach us the concept of personal responsiblity (see Ezekiel 18:20). Both negatively and positively, we all will reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7-8; Isaiah 3:10-11).

Here are biblical examples of some who tried to dodge responsibility when they sinned:

• Adam and Eve tried the blame game, but God confronted them about their sin (Genesis 3:12-13).
• Cain tried to cover up his sin, but God found him out (Genesis 4:9).
• Jonah tried to duck out of his disobedience, but he still had to answer to God (Jonah 1:7-8).
• Achan was responsible for his hidden sin at the city of Jericho (Joshua 7:14-15).
• David finally had to "fess up" to his sin—and he recognize who he had ultimately sinned against! (Psalm 51:4).
• Pontius Pilate said he was innocent and blamed the Jews for Jesus' crucifixion, but God saw his heart (Matthew 27:24).

God's word of warning to us is: "Be sure your sin will find you out!" (Numbers 32:23). God sees and knows. We are without excuse (Romans 1:20).

He takes note of even our secret sins  (Psalm 139:1-4, 11-12, 23-24; Psalm 69:5; 90:8; Jeremiah 16:17-18). But He can help us turn from those sins hidden in our hearts (Psalm 19:12).

Today, I praise the Lord because He has a solution for our sin.

The great gift of Christmas is God reaching down to man with abundant grace.

In great love and mercy, when we confess, our faithful Father forgives (1 John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13).

The biggest responsibility we have is to repent, believe the Gospel and live for Christ—making the wise and godly choices that please Him (Mark 1:15; 1 John 4:9-10).

We can't blame anyone but ourselves if we fail to do that: not the Elf, the devil, or even Stinky Sam!

Are you blaming others or trying to cover up your sin? How can embracing the great truth of 1 John 1:9 encourage you to come clean before the Lord and move forward in freedom?

Dawn Wilson, founder and President of Heart Choices Today, is a speaker and author, and the creator of three blogs: Heart Choices Today, LOL with God (with Pam Farrel), and Upgrade with Dawn. She is a contracted researcher/reviewer for Revive Our Heartsand a writer at Crosswalk.com. She and her husband Bob live in Southern California and have two grown, married sons, three granddaughters and a rascally maltipoo, Roscoe.

Permission to Serve God Imperfectly

One of the things you'll discover about Joan C. Webb is her authenticity and the desire to live make intentional choices. In this Attitude UPGRADE, she invites us to choose to relax in our service.

"I remember the day my shoulders relaxed and I gained permission to serve God in spite of my humanness and nagging imperfection," Joan says. "I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time; it was such a grace-filled release."

Did you get that? Isn't that what you want—to serve God in "grace-filled release"? I know I (Dawn) do; and I need the peace that comes with grace too.

Joan continues . . .

Every person in the packed hotel lobby stared at me as I banged my head against the glass door and fell to the concrete floor. The manager hurried to my side.

“That was dumb,” I whispered.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I thought it was an open door,” I mumbled. All I wanted was to pick up the morning’s newspaper on the other side of the room. Instead, I walked forcefully into a recently cleaned picture window.

“I’ll be fine, thanks,” I responded as I walked away, blurry-eyed.

How could you have done that, Joan? You know better.

 Then remarkably, my thoughts shifted. Hey, it was a mistake!

 And just as quickly shifted again. Yeah sure, JC. Not only was it a mistake, but a very public example of imperfection. Wonder if they all think you’re tipsy this early in the day.

Yet I couldn’t stifle an internal chuckle, because I was at the hotel to write another chapter in my book, The Relief of Imperfection. Right before I walked into the floor-to-ceiling glass window, I wrote the following words in my journal:

You know what? I don’t think there is a single biblical character (spiritual giant or not) who was consistently pure, good, or wise. Not one!

• Abram lied about his relationship with wife Sarai (Genesis 12:10-20). Twice.
• Sarah shamed and ridiculed her employee Hagar (Genesis 16:6).
• Paul and John Mark had a public ministry split (Acts 15:36-40).
• Peter impetuously cut off a soldier’s ear in defense of His friend Jesus and then denied even knowing Him (John 18:10,26).
• James and John jockeyed for higher status, disregarding the others on Jesus’ team (Mark 10:35-41).

 Each had unique flaws, limitations, imperfect relationships, quirky habits or faulty reasoning. Yet…

• God proclaimed Abraham a faithful friend (James 2:23).
• Sarah received her deepest desire—a miracle pregnancy (Genesis 24:36).
• God blessed both the ministries of Paul and John Mark (Acts 15:39-41; 2 Timothy 4:11).
• Jesus built His entire New Testament Church on Peter’s leadership (Matthew 16:18).
• And He kept brothers James and John on His executive staff (Matthew 17:1-3).

Over the years, I have studied and received spiritual direction from these and other biblical servants. But perhaps I had not honestly examined the cumulative picture.

On this particular morning, God lovingly splashed His grace into my “trying too hard to serve Him just right” mentality and I saw the truth:

There is not one totally perfect human role model in the entire Bible.

(Well, except Jesus—who was 100-percent God and 100-percent man.)

I experienced a relief-producing paradigm shift that day as God assured me that: 

1. He says “yes” to partnering with sinful, flawed, limited human beings (like me!) who choose to accept His Son Jesus Christ’s work on the cross and follow Him.
2. Jesus surrounded Himself with perfectly imperfect people who decided to admit their needs, take risks, make mistakes and grow.
3. He loves me—not merely what I can do. He wants me to grow. And since I want that, also, we’re on the same page with this desire. God doesn’t expect me to be, do or make it all just right all the time. That’s His job.

Now, I’m inviting you to re-read that last point with yourself in mind. God loves you – not merely what you can do. He loves watching you courageously serve Him without being overly-concerned about doing it all perfectly.

Are your shoulders relaxing yet? 

Joan C. Webb is a speaker and author who has written thirteen books including The Intentional Woman (co-authored with Carol Travilla), The Relief of Imperfection: For Women Who Try Too Hard to Make It Just Right and a four-book devotional series for children. As a Life Coach who specializes in working with writers and communicators, Joan helps set people free to become who they were designed to be and from what holds them back. For more information about becoming an intentional woman, visit Joan's website. 

6 Ways to Grin When You'd Rather Grit Your Teeth!

I met Kathy Carlton Willis at a writer's conference and was so impressed with her life, not just her teaching. She shines for Jesus! And in this Attitude UPGRADE, she shares one way we reflect God's light  too.

"Most of us deal with situations that make us want to grit our teeth on a regular basis. Or at least bite our tongues!" Kathy says. "Here are six ways you can grin with grace instead."

I (Dawn) have watched Kathy endure trial after trial over the past several years and noticed how she smiles despite the circumstances. So I’m curious how she’s learned to grin with grace instead of grimace—which is our natural human tendency. Let’s see what she has to say.

Kathy continues . . .

As I sat down to write this piece for you, I started out as an “expert.” I’m the Grin with Grace gal. I’ve studied all the grace words in the Bible. Written a book. Put together a script and performed a 7-session DVD. I should know it all when it comes to grinning with grace, right?

But before I could even organize my thoughts for this article, I received a note that derailed me. Someone cancelling a commitment with almost no notice for me to come up with Plan B. And two days ago the surgeon told me I needed surgery. So I should be doing less, not more. Here’s a perfect opportunity for me to live what I teach—am I really going to grin with grace in this situation?

What often works for me is to laugh. Yes, laugh! It releases negative energy and helps me develop a healthy perspective on the situation. It acknowledges that the problem itself stinks, but it’s not the end of the world.

It’s temporary. I’ll get past this.

And who knows, the outcome might be even better because sometimes my Plan B is God’s Plan A all along.

So I want to share with you some of the words I found in Scripture that partner with grace to help us through life’s messes. And I’m certainly an expert in that—I tend to get in a lot of messes. Some of my own making. Some that I trip into backwards, never seeing the puddle before it’s too late.

Grace partners with glory, peace, mercy, kindness, eternal comfort, and wonderful hope. Each pairing is a vital life partnership.

How do we grow these virtues in our lives so that we’re prepared when a Life Mess happens? Oh—and it’s gonna’ happen!

#1 – Mercy

"Grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God the Father and from Jesus Christ—the Son of the Father—will continue to be with us who live in truth and love" (2 John 1:3 NLT).

Ask yourself these questions:

• How do I acquire God’s mercy in my life?
• Do I need to remind myself that it’s there for my everyday needs and not just for my salvation?
• How does tapping into God’s mercy in my life help me grow closer to Him?
• How does it empower me to provide mercy to others even when I don’t feel like it?

When you pair mercy with grace, you’re equipping yourself to grin despite the life mess going on around you.

#2 – Love 

(See 2 John 1:3.) Love is like a spring—it must continue to circulate. New love coming in (from God, from others, from self), and your love flowing out. If love doesn’t circulate, it stagnates.

How is love at work in your life right now, and how does it help you receive and deliver God’s grace? 

#3 – Truth

(See 2 John 1:3.) These six virtues that pair so well with grace aren’t merely self-help strategies. They are built on a foundation of truth. God’s Word is truth.

How can you know truth and trust truth more in your Christian walk now than before? Why is truth necessary to help you grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord?

#4 – Peace

"May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace" (1 Corinthians 1:3 NLT).

Peace seems to elude us when we need it most. Like in the middle of a Life Mess.

Why do we find it so difficult to experience God’s peace? What gets in the way of peace—worry, doubt, confusion, or chaos? All of these? How can you convince your heart and mind to believe the message of peace and receive its calm assurance? 

#5 – Comfort

"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope" (2 Thessalonians 2:16 NLT).

Jesus knows us well enough to know we need a Comforter—and that is why He promised not to leave us comfortless. It’s human nature to need the soothing reassurance of a nurturing presence, especially in the middle of a Life Mess.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Are there any areas in my life right now where I could use some extra comfort?
• What best helps me experience the soothing comfort of God’s grace?
• Does anything blind me from seeing the comfort He sends or hinder me from receiving it?

#6 – Hope

(See 2 Thessalonians 2:16.) Hope is vitally important to help us through our days. Even days filled with blessings still need hope . . . but those days filled with trials . . . I don’t need to explain why we need hope during our Life Messes!

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I tend to be a skeptical person or a hope-filled person?
• What sort of light at the end of the tunnel has helped me hold on to hope?
• What happens when I’m paralyzed in a funk of dark clouds, with no sign of light?
• How can I find hope enough for even those no-sign-of-light days?

In music, grace notes are melodic and compliment the rest of the musical score. All these traits that pair well with grace are like the harmony parts, but grace is the key. Play the musical notes of these six virtues, add in God’s grace notes, and see what song develops.

If that doesn’t make you grin with grace, it’s time for you to check your heart to make sure it’s still beating!

Which of these six virtues might help you grin when you'd rather grit your teeth?

Kathy Carlton Willis writes and speaks with a balance of funny and faith—whimsy and wisdom. Not many funny girls also have Bible degrees! Kathy’s a pastor’s wife, which gives her plenty of opportunities to grin with grace. She shines the light on issues that hold women back and inspires their own lightbulb moments. Almost a thousand of Kathy’s articles have been published in books, magazines, newspapers and online publications. Visit her website, and check out her latest project, the Grin with Grace Bible Study, published by AMG Publishers.

Article: ©2015, Modified Excerpt from Grin with Grace, AMG Publishers.

Graphic adapted: Image courtesy of Feelart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

Turn Guilt into Growth

Poppy Smith is full of fun and passion, but it's her commitment to biblical truth that makes her a fountain of wisdom. In this Spiritual Growth UPGRADE, she encourages us to use guilt in a positive, life-transforming way.

“Guilty feelings happen,” says Poppy. “Guilt is a universal emotion that’s built into people. But as followers of Jesus, God doesn’t want us wallowing in self-condemnation. Instead, He calls us to receive His mercy, forgiveness, and power to move forward and start afresh.”

I (Dawn) was one of those "always guilty" kids. I always thought I'd done something wrong, even when I hadn't. Later in life, I learned to distinguish between real and false guilt, but it still took me a while to recognize the power of God's grace. So I can't tell you how much I appreciate this message of hope from Poppy.

She continues:

During a stop-over in Singapore several years ago, I had the opportunity to witness a Hindu festival.

Streams of men marched by their faces skewered with long, thin, metal rods. Some rods went through their top lip, tongue, and bottom lip. Others pierced through both cheeks. Small metal hooks, inserted into the men’s backs and chests, supported elaborate wire cages decorated with feathers and flowers.

This annual festival, called Thaipusam, celebrated the victory of Lord Murugan, the son of Shiva, over evil. Shiva’s devotees willingly underwent this painful ritual to express thanks for blessings received, gain special favors, and to atone for their sins.

Believers in Jesus Christ don’t have to atone for sin through the pain of skewered flesh! We’ve been set free from both the power and penalty for sin by the atoning death of God’s Son on the Cross.

The apostle Paul writes, “Since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us” (Romans 5:1, NLT).

Even knowing this truth, we too often allow our failures to drag us down emotionally and spiritually. But this doesn’t have to be the outcome. Instead, our guilty feelings can help us grow in honesty, humility, and hope of transformation. 

Here are three truths that have helped me in my trip-up, get-up journey with Jesus:

1. Deal with Guilt.

Don’t hide from guilty feelings, shove them under the rug, or pretend they don’t exist.

Simply respond with gratitude and humility knowing that “If we confess our sins, He (God) is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

2. Delight in God’s grace.

Speak words of grace, not condemnation to yourself. No matter how you’ve failed, God promises to continue to work in you (Phil.1:6).

God doesn’t deal with us according to what we deserve but, instead, invites us to rejoice in His ever-flowing grace—unearned and life-transforming.

3. Discover where you need to grow.

Dr. Charles Stanley counsels, “Glean a lesson from your failures, but don’t frame them and hang them on the wall of your emotions for constant viewing.”

“The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways” (Proverbs 14:8).

Whatever your particular weakness, be honest and acknowledge it. Ask the Holy Spirit’s help to see what’s behind your wrong attitude or action, and where you’re vulnerable.

Don’t let failure discourage you. We are human and in a life-long growth process.

Instead, recognize that every stumble is an invitation to come closer to God, to know ourselves more deeply, and to celebrate the fact that He has atoned for our sins—and we won’t ever need to skewer ourselves to win His favor!

How do you handle feelings of failure and guilt? What do you need to do differently to grow through this experience?

Poppy Smith is a former Bible Study Fellowship lecturer who speaks and writes out of a passion to make God known. This article on turning failure into a learning experience is adapted from her book, Reaching Higher: Ten Dynamic Truths from Abraham that Will Transform Your Life. Follow Poppy on her blog, Inspiring YOU to Thrive!

Graphic adapted: Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.