4 Tips for Being a Fun, Faithful Grandparent

I'm always amazed by how much truth Gail Purath can pack into her 1-Minute Bible Love Notes posts. But I also know she is a loving grandma, and I asked her to share this relationship UPGRADE. (NOTE: If you are not a grandma or even a mother, consider how you might apply Gail's counsel to a mentoring sitution.)

"Six-week-old Emma had never said anything clever nor done anything noble or good," Gail said. "She required constant care and gave nothing tangible in return. But whenever I held her in my arms, I was overcome with love for my very first grandchild."

Almost any grandparent will identify with that. I (Dawn) have three granddaughters and they mean the world to me. I'm always looking for fun projects to do with them, but also for ways to build a legacy.

Gail continues ... 

We experience this love as parents, but experiencing it with our children’s children is doubly sweet. It helps us understand God’s love in new ways and gives us an awesome mission in our senior years.

We might paraphrase Ephesians 2:10:

“We are grandparents by God’s design, created in Christ Jesus to be fun and faithful, doing those things God prepared in advance for us to do.”

Six times since Emma's birth, my arms have held a new grandchild. And in my ten years as a "grammy" I've learned some things I'd love to pass along to make your grandparenting more fun and faithful:

1. Share Your Talents

Whether you're good at cooking, sewing, music, gardening, athletics or woodworking, you have something to share.

One thing I love doing is baking my signature cinnamon rolls with my grandchildren. They love getting their hands in the dough, and we end up with cinnamon and flour everywhere.

But the mess is part of the memory, and we all have a good time.

2. Share Your Faith

This may be the most important evangelism you do in your entire life, so ask God for creative ways to do it.

Last year I had an after-school "Bible Club" for my two oldest granddaughters, and this year I started reading Christian missionary biographies with my ten-year-old granddaughter. What  wonderful opportunities we've had to discuss the Lord together.

3. Pray for Your Grandchildren

Your age, experience and love give you special wisdom in praying specifically for your grandchildren’s hearts and lives.

Many throughout history have been influenced by the lives and prayers of their grandparents—Timothy, for one (2 Timothy 1:5). This aspect of our grandparenting can't be overestimated.

4. Be Available and Have Fun

Grandparents usually have more time than parents. Even if you're still working full time, you have fewer dependent family members to keep you busy.

It’s true that age steals some of our energy, but reserving some of that energy for our grands is well worth it.

One afternoon my six-year-old granddaughter Gracie asked if she could come to my house while her mom went to the gym.

"I don't know if Grammy wants to babysit today," my daughter cautioned.

"Oh, Grammy doesn't babysit me," Gracie insisted, "We just hang out together."

If you haven’t learned it yet, it’s high time to learn the art of just “hangin’ out.” Enjoy your “second childhood” by rolling on the floor, being silly, playing with paper dolls, and riding bikes. Grandchildren are wonderful playmates.

Yes, grandparenting is more than an awesome responsibility; it’s an awesome opportunity to love and be loved, an opportunity to share our gifts, our faith, our prayers, our lives, and our creativity with our children's children. Let's make the most of it!

What are some special things you've done with a grandchild to create some God-honoring memories?

Gail Purath has been married to her best friend Michael for 42 years, living the life of a nomad here on earth (40 homes in 62 years), looking forward to her heavenly home. She is the mother of two and "grammy" of seven—three boys and four girls (ages 2-10). Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study. Gail writes about her joys, struggles, failures and victories in her short-but-powerful 1-Minute Bible Love Notes and shares a short Bible study each week on Bite Size Bible Study.

Linked to these blog hops:

Modest Mom

Time Warp Wife

Raising Homemakers

Grandma's Briefs

Raising a Modern-Day Princess

Doreen Hanna, the founder and president of Treasured Celebrations Ministries and the co-author of Raising a Modern Day Princess, cares about little girls’ hearts.

“Upgrade your teen daughter or granddaughter’s life,” Doreen says. “Raise her to be a Modern Day Princess!”   

As “Grammy” to three little girls, I want them to grow up to be strong, confident young women of God. But something like that doesn’t just happen. Moms and grandmoms need to be intentional.

Doreen continues …

I can already hear a mom of teenage daughter saying “What? Another upgrade? She already wants to upgrade her cell phone, her clothes, her i-pod … maybe even her friends or a family member, if it were possible!” 

Whether in a device or our personal life, an upgrade will always require us or our girls to make an investment of time, patience and sometimes money to manage that new upgrade.

I’m sure as a mother, mentor or grandmother, most of us seek to upgrade our girls’ lives spiritually. We want to equip them to embrace who they in Christ. Desiring that they become a true Modern-Day Princess—a Daughter of the King.

We desire for them to know the benefits of such an upgrade in their spiritual life, like embracing the wealth of wisdom that lies within God’s Word—wisdom that can guide them throughout their future.   

You as a mother, mentor, or grandmother (and I, as the founder of Modern Day Princess Headquarters) face the reality of some of the downgrades (heartbreaking statistics) when we consider the girls in our own community, church or family. Consider this:

• Fifty percent of all teen girls are bullied due to lack of self-confidence.
• One in every three girls, ages 11-18, has been diagnosed with clinical depression.
• One in every 12 girls will attempt suicide before the age of 18.

Ladies!  We have been empowered by God’s Word and His Holy Spirit to give our girls a Premium Upgrade! We do this by speaking life and truth into each young mind and heart and by living a trustworthy life before them. We have these two key “apps” that have eternal impact.

So let’s take some practical steps to evaluate some upgrades for your Princess:

Upgrade #1 - If it’s an upgrade of a material object, like a new device: (1) Consider together, what will be the initial investment? (2) Who is going to pay for any additional monthly costs? (3) Will it cause loss of time with her most important relationship, her family?

Upgrade #2 – If it is an upgrade about her—her clothes, a new hairstyle, room décor, etc.: (1) Be honest. Do you have the funds to provide this right now? (2) Is she willing to use some of her own money to contribute? (3) Is it truly a need, or just a want?

Upgrade #3 – If it is an upgrade regarding friends (one of the most challenging upgrades): (1) Is her friend seeking to live like Christ? (2) How does she show it? (3) If she is not a Christian, are you willing to set the example?

Upgrade #4 – If it is an upgrade regarding family (another challenging upgrade): (1) Are we willing to forgive? (2) Willing to set the example? (3) To give the respect that others deserve?

Pray together as you consider these steps that will equip your daughter or granddaughter  for life and encourage her to become a Modern-Day Princess for the Lord. It’s truly a priceless upgrade!

What upgrade does your daughter need the most at this time? Are you willing to invest the time and resources to encourage her and help her grow as a Daughter of the King?

Doreen Hanna is the founder and president of Treasured Celebrations Ministries and the co-author, with Pam Farrel of Raising a Modern Day Princess and the companion journal, Becoming a Modern-Day Princess. Her ministry empowers women to equip girls and give them an integrity-based rite-of-passage in today’s culture. Visit Doreen’s website for more information.

Passing on the Dream

Author Karen O'Connor understands the power of legacy—of not only passing on great biblical truths, but also the dreams and lessons of life.

In "Winter Dream," Karen wrote:

The afternoon of my tenth birthday my father came home early from work. “Surprise,” he said as he stood outside my classroom door when the school bell rang. “We’re going ice skating—just you and me—to celebrate your birthday. It’s about time you and I used these beautiful skates Mom gave us for Christmas.”

My heart pounded! Just the thought of having my father all to myself for half a day was more than I could take in. And to think we would go ice skating together! I had dreamed of such a day for as long as I could remember. My mother knew about it. That’s why she bought us matching skates.

I waved good-bye to my friends and piled into our old tan car. Off we went to the nearby pond, now frozen hard after a week of sub-freezing temperatures. I wrapped a wool scarf around my neck, pulled my stocking cap over my long brown hair, and donned my mittens. Then hand-in-hand, Dad and I skated across the pond all afternoon. Whenever I hit a bump or felt scared, he was there, stretching out his hand to hold me up and to guide me through the maze of skaters whizzing by.

Over the years I’ve often thought about that day and how my father brought my dream to life!         

I skated many times after that but none meant as much to me as that special day alone with Dad. Then came the time when, Sarah,  one of my granddaughters, invited me to her 10th birthday party. The afternoon would include lunch at a favorite restaurant and unexpectedly—ice skating at a local rink.

I said, ‘yes,’ to lunch, but ‘no’ to skating! “I haven’t skated in nearly forty years,” I told Sarah.

For the rest of the week, however, I wrestled with my decision. I knew how much it would mean to her to have me on the ice, not on the sidelines! I decided to surprise her—just as my father had surprised me so long ago.

“Oh Lord,” I prayed, “help me recreate the dream. I want to pass on to Sarah the confidence, the fun, the closeness that my dad gave me.” 

When it was time to skate, I stepped out on the ice, my heart pounding and my legs wobbly. I took a deep breath, then reached for Sarah’s hand. Off we went, and before I knew it I was skating, really skating. My earthly father was no longer there to hold me up, but I was standing tall nonetheless, because I had my heavenly father right there with Sarah and me.

Fear vanished as the truth of God’s promise in Isaiah skipped across my heart. “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.’” (Is. 41:13 NRSV). 

I smiled in relief. If the Lord would uphold and honor my simple dreams—ice skating with my father and years later, with my granddaughter—surely he would be there, as well, for the big dreams and major challenges ahead. I knew then I had nothing to fear.

What dreams are you passing on to the next generation?

Karen O’Connor is an award-winning author and popular Christian speaker. She lives in Watsonville, California, with her husband, Charles Flowers. This story is based on a selection from her book, Squeeze the Moment (WaterBrook Press, 1999), pp. 54-56. Visit her on the web at karenoconnor.com.